Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * Her mother is rejecting the fiancé because there was no prior relationship or dating

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I am a convert to Islam. Recently, a friend of mine (muslim) found a potential husband for me. I want to do everything Islamically, but my mother equates this with what she calls "marrying a stranger" because there is no dating involved. I want to go ahead with the marriage, but my mother wants me to obey her and not marry the man. I am 27, and am ready to be married. Do I have to obey my mother?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We congratulate our sister on embracing Islam and we ask Allah to bless you with the guidance of your family and loved ones, and to help you to obey Him and seek His pleasure, and bless you with a righteous husband and righteous offspring.
Secondly:
Marriage in Islam is based on the proposal then the marriage contract. For the purposes of the proposal the man is allowed to see the woman and she is allowed to see him, so that the marriage will be based on clarity. That should be accompanied by asking about the man in order to find out about his character, religious commitment and condition, and the situation of his family. If he is good, then the basic principle is that he should be accepted, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.”
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (1084) from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh at-Tirmidhi.
The fiancé is still a stranger to the woman, so it is not permissible for him to be alone with her, or to shake hands with her, or to look at her apart from looking in order to decide whether to go ahead with the proposal.
From this you will understand that Islam does not permit a relationship between a man and a woman who is not his mahram, even if that is for the purpose of marriage. This relationship is not permissible either before or after the proposal. But if there is a need to sit with the one who is proposing once or more in order to find out about his situation or to make arrangements for the marriage contract, there is nothing wrong with that so long as a mahram is present, and the woman wears proper hijab, and she treats him as as a man who is a non-mahram.
Thirdly:
If your mother does not approve of the man for the reasons mentioned, which is that she thinks it is essential for there to be dating and a relationship and getting to know one another before proposing marriage, you do not have to obey her in her rejection of this man, because she is calling you to do something that is not permissible in Islam, and there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator. In that case you have to explain to her the ruling on these relationships and try to convince her of the marriage by telling her about some of the good qualities of the man after you have asked about him and found out about him.
If her rejection is for an acceptable reason, whether it has to do with religious or worldly matters, such as any shortcoming in his wealth or appearance, or something bad in his family and so on, then it is better to obey your moher.
If there is no acceptable reason for her refusal, then you do not have to obey her, but you should strive to please her and make her happy because of the great rights to kind treatment and respect that the mother has.
Fourthly:
In order for the marriage contract to be valid it must done by the woman’s guardian, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a guardian.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2085; al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Ibn Maajah, 1881, from Abu Moosa al-Ash‘ari. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh at-Tirmidhi.
The woman’s guardian is her father, then his father (i.e., paternal grandfather), then her son, then his son (i.e., grandson, if she has a son), then her brother through her father and mother, then her brother through her father only, then their sons, then her paternal uncles, then their sons, then the ruler. See:al-Mughni, 9/355
If the woman does not have any Muslim guardian from this list, the Muslim judge (qaadi) should do the marriage contract for her. If there is no Muslim judge, then a man of status among the Muslims, such as the Imam of the Islamic Centre, should do the marriage contract for her.
We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to help and guide you.
And Allah knows best.











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General Dought & clear, - * Why should the worshipper be lookingwhen he sits between the two prostrations during prayer?

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When I pray and sit between the two prostrations, I gesture with my forefinger and say “Rabbi’ghfir li wa’rhamni wa’hdini wa’rzuqni wa ‘aafini (My Lord, forgive me, have mercy on me, guide me, grant me provision and grant me well-being).” My question is: should I be looking at my forefinger, as in the tashahhud, or where?
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Praise be to Allah
In the answer to question no. 131579, we mentioned the difference of opinion among the scholars concerning how the right hand should be between the two prostrations: should the fingers be outspread on the thigh, or should one point with the forefinger as is done during the tashahhud?
When the worshipper sits between the two prostrations or during the tashahhud, he should look at his forefinger; some scholars say that he should look at his lap.
An-Nasaa’i (1160) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that he described the way the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) sat in the prayer. He said: He placed his right hand on his right thigh, and pointed with his finger that is next to the thumb towards the qiblah, and he focused his gaze on it or thereabouts. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh an-Nasaa’i.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Where should the worshipper look when he is praying?
He replied: The Sunnah is for him to look at the place of his prostration whilst he is standing and also when bowing. But when he is sitting, he should look at his pointing finger when he sits for the tashahhud or between the two prostrations; he should look at his pointing finger, as is mentioned in the Sunnah from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). End quote.
Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz(29/241)
Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: When reciting the tashahhud, should the worshipper look at the place of prostration or should he look at his forefinger when raising it to express the oneness of Allah (Tawheed)?
He replied:
When he is sitting between the two prostrations or for the tashahhud, he should look at his forefinger or at his hands. But when he is standing, he should look at the place of his prostration. All of that is so that his thoughts will not wander, lest distracting ideas and waswaas (whispers from the Shaytaan) come to him whilst he is praying. End quote
Sharh ‘Umdat al-Ahkaam(21/14)
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated inal-Majmoo‘from some of the Shaafa‘is that when sitting, the worshipper should look at his lap. This was also narrated by as-Sarkhasi inal-Mabsootfrom at-Tahhaawi (may Allah have mercy on them all).
And Allah knows best.











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General Dought & clear, - * Ruling on calling a girl Tahreem

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Can I suggest my daughter name Tahreem
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Praise be to Allah
The father should choose a good name for his son or daughter, one that is good in both wording and meaning, because the name is a title for the thing named, and it will accompany a person from the cradle to the grave, and will be attributed to him, and to children and grandchildren will be attributed to his name, for as long as Allah, may He be exalted, wills.
The scholars have stated that it is makrooh (disliked) to give children names that have meanings that may be indicative of sin and transgression, such as Zaalim (wrongdoer), Sarraaq (thief), and the like. See:Tasmiyat al-Mawloodby Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd (p. 52).
This may be applicable to this name, Tahreem.
A number of the scholars also regarded it as makrooh to name children after the names of the soorahs of the Holy Qur’an, such as Ta-Ha, Ya-Seen, and Ha-Meem. See:Tasmiyat al-Mawlood(p. 59)
This also – and Allah knows best – includes the name Tahreem.
Based on that, it seems that it is makrooh to give your daughter the name Tahreem.
At the very least, this comes under the heading of dubious matters that one should avoid. Allah has granted His slave sufficient matters that are clear and unambiguous, so that he has no need for such uncertain things.
Furthermore, this is a strange name that may cause embarrassment to the girl in front of her friends, classmates and acquaintances in the future.
There are plenty of other good names that may be given instead.
And Allah knows best.












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