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Monday, April 4, 2016

Deaf -weak- hadees , Dought & clear, - * She sees in her dream that her husband is cheating on her!



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I have been married for 4 1/2 years now Alhamdoulillah. But since the marriage I have been having dreams severe times that my husband is lying to me and cheating, or his hidding somethings from me. I know that you dream for 3 reasons and Alhamdoulillah, I have many good and nice dreams to. Most of my dreams gives me a feeling of warnings or messages even religiously to.
I have caught my husband lying to me.
But I cant seem to shake these dreams of. I have asked him if he has ever cheated me but he saids no. Sometimes smiling to.
In my dreams I catch him cheating on me severe times and then he is trying to lie and say he didnt or sometimes he admits his cheat and lies. I get these dreams even though I dont even think he has ever cheated. But I feel he is lying to me or he is hidding some stuff from me Allahu aleem if he has even cheated.
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Praise be to Allah
If a person is righteous and truthful in his speech, then his dreams will usually be true, giving him glad tidings or a warning, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The most truthful of you in dreams is the most truthful of you in speech.” Narrated by Muslim (6042).
However, the righteous may see bad dreams, because there is no one whose dreams are all true except the Prophets, for their dreams are revelation. Al-Bukhaari narrated in a mu‘allaq report from ‘Ubayd ibn ‘Umayr that he said: The dreams of the Prophets are revelation, then he recited the words (of Ibraaheem to Ismaa‘eel – interpretation of the meaning):“ ‘I have seen in a dream that I am slaughtering you (offering you in sacrifice to Allah)’” [as-Saaffaat 37:102].
Al-Muhallab said: In this regard, people are of three levels:
The Prophets, all of whose dreams are true, but some of them may require interpretation;
The righteous, most of whose dreams are true, but some of them may not require interpretation;
Others, whose dreams may be true or may be confused, jumbled dreams.
End quote fromFath al-Baari(12/362).
Az-Zarqaani said inSharh al-Muwatta’(4/562)
Some of them said: … The dreams of the righteous are usually true, but there may occasionally be some confused, jumbled dreams, or dreams that result from one’s thoughts and ideas that cross the mind.
End quote.
Hence if the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) saw a bad dream, it would upset them and they would fall ill and feel intense grief because of it, but when the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) taught them to spit drily to their left, and seek refuge with Allah from its evil and from the evil of the Shaytaan, and he assured them that it would not harm them, they were reassured by that and calmed down.
It was narrated that Abu Salamah said: I used to see dreams that would make me ill, until I heard Abu Qataadah say: I also used to see dreams that would make me ill, until I heard the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: “Good dreams are from Allah, so if one of you sees a dream that he likes, let him not speak of it except to those whom he loves, and if he sees a dream that he dislikes, let him seek refuge with Allah from its evil and from the evil of the Shaytaan, let him spit drily to his left three times, and let him not speak of it to anyone, for it will never harm him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (7044) and Muslim (6040).
According to a report narrated by Muslim (6037), Abu Salamah said: I used to see a dream that would weigh heavily on me, like a mountain, but once I heard this hadith, I no longer cared about such dreams.
Al-Qurtubi said: What we learn from this is that the one who sees a dream should not be bothered by what he dislikes in his dream, and he should ignore it and not pay any attention to it, because it has no basis. This is the apparent meaning of the hadiths.
End quote fromal-Mufhim.
Once it becomes clear that the Shaytaan plays a role in what a person sees in his dreams, and that one’s own thoughts also play a role, then it is not wise and it is not part of Islamic teachings at all for a Muslim woman to destroy her life and strive to wreck her home because of what she sees in her dreams.
Moreover, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) recommended concealing the faults of sinners; in fact he even recommended that the one who sees an adulterer committing adultery should conceal it and not speak of it to anyone, and he forbade spying, seeking out faults and disclosing concealed matters in people’s affairs, and it is he who enjoined caution in that regard, and perhaps one may be certain and have seen things with one’s own eyes in some cases, but he recommended concealing it and not disclosing it or spreading it, and not to base anything on it, so how about if it is the matter of a dream, the reality of which Allah knows best.
How many people have seen one particular dream time and time again, and the same dream was seen repeatedly by other people, then after that it turned out to be nothing but confused dreams and a case of the Shaytaan toying with people.
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) warned us about the eagerness of the Shaytaan to cause division among the Muslims in general, and between spouses in particular. The Shaytaan will never refrain from using any method to cause division between spouses, either when they are awake or when they are asleep; rather he will hasten to use it, because this is one of his foremost priorities.
It was narrated that Jaabir said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Iblees places his throne over the water, then he sends out his troops, and the one who is closest in status to him is the one who causes the greatest amount of fitnah (tribulation or temptation). One of them comes and says, I have done such and such, and he says: You have not done anything. Then one of them comes and says: I did not leave him until I separated him and his wife. Then he draws him close to him and says: How good you are.” Al-A‘mash said: I think he said: “and he embraces him.”
Narrated by Muslim (2813)
The woman does not have the right to enquire into her husband’s past, just as the woman should not tell her husband frankly about what may have happened in the past that she has repented from. They should both seek the concealment of Allah. For more information, please see the answer to question no. 127635.
Conclusion:
What we advise you to do is to ignore such dreams and not pay attention to them. Do not try to find out what is concealed of your husband’s affairs. Be a good wife to him and ask Allah to set things straight between you and your husband, and to divert from you and from him all that is bad and shameful, for He is All-Hearing, Ever Responsive.
And Allah knows best.









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Regards;
NAJIMUDEEN M/
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Saturday, April 2, 2016

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * He lives in America and has done the marriage contract with her; can she travel to join him?



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I am a young woman living in Jordan, and I got engaged on the basis of a contract to a young man who is religiously committed and fears Allah, and he lives in America. We have been engaged for a year and a half, and he is still studying. My question is: is it permissible for me to travel to be with him and his mother until he finishes his studies, then we can go to where he is going to work? Please note that until now there is no place where we can get married and live together. In other words I would stay with him until he finishes his studies. Please note that I cannot stay away from him more than that, and my being with him will help him to keep away from the fitnah that surrounds him.
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Praise be to Allaah.
If you mean that the marriage contract has been done for you and there remains nothing but consummation of the marriage, and that he wants to consummate the marriage with you there, then there is nothing wrong with that; rather it is something good and we encourage you and advise you to go ahead, because it is better for you to be with your husband and it is more chaste for you and for him, and will keep both of you further away from fitnah.
Your family and his should announce news of the consummation of the marriage everywhere and publicise it in the place where you are. It is not essential for the consummation to actually take place in the country where you are; rather that may be easier for you and it may be more affordable to get married this way in the beginning, then after that you can prepare your home gradually.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is better for a woman to travel overseas with her husband than to stay in her country; that is better for her and for him too. I do not see anything wrong with it.
End quote fromLiqa’ al-Baab al-Maftooh, 81/17
See also the answer to question no. 3477
In that case he has to come and travel with you, or one of your mahrams should travel with you to take you to him, because a woman can only travel with a mahram. See the answer to questions no. 316and 34380
If you mean that you will travel to him without that which is customarily called consummation, meaning that you would be travelling to him thinking that you are married in the sense that a marriage contract has been done but the marriage has not been consummated, in spite of all that you mention, and that the actual consummation of the marriage will come after he finishes his studies and gets a house and a job, when he can afford the expenses of marriage and the consequences and costs thereof, this is a kind of messing about and fooling oneself, and that is something that is not acceptable at all.
This idea of yours seems to be based on the way you phrased your question, “I got engaged on the basis of a contract” i.e., a marriage contract, as some people call this period an engagement period, even if the shar‘i marriage contract has been done.
But if that does not mean a marriage contract, then it is not permissible for you to travel to him and none of the aims of marriage result from that. Rather you should look at what your words really mean.
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah(18/69): Mere engagement between a man and woman does not mean that it is a marriage contract. Both the man and the woman may change their minds if they see fit during that period, whether the other party agrees or not.
And Allah knows best.
























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Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * His father chose a wife for him who he does not want



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After being convinced for years by my parents to marry my cousin, I finally agreed last year and got engaged. I would however admit that I had no special liking for her and before I took the final decision, I also performed Istikharah but didnt seem to get a proper answer or direction and remained confused. I finally thought that since my parents are happy with this marriage I would go for it. I study in another country and after we got engaged I started talking to her on phone and among other things got to know that she has a problem of falling hair and due to that her hair has thinned a lot. I asked her to visit some doctors and she has started to take medications but not of any great help as of now. After knowing all this I am very upset with myself and also with her although I have not told anything like that to her that might hurt her in anyway. I really feel very upset all the time now as you would understand that I also have some feelings and wishes about how my future wife should look like. Right now I am always in distress and feel like that this is my destiny to marry her which cannot be changed as doing that would severly damage the relations in our family. I don't know what to do and can't stop thinking about this. This has now started to affect my studies also. I can't talk about this to anyone not my parents or friends. Thinking about this is always keeping me disturbed. I have agreed to marry her next year after my parents told me so. I don't know what to do now or how things would go after that. I would like to have your suggestions and guidance in this regard.
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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Istikhaarah is mustahabb and is prescribed in Islam, but one does not necessarily see a dream after it or get an answer as you described. Rather its effects appear in the matter being made easy. If the matter is made easy and goes ahead, this is an indication that it is good, in sha Allah.
Secondly:
The son is not obliged to obey his parents with regard to marrying a particular woman, but if he does that to please his parents and make them happy, he will be rewarded for that, so long as the woman is religiously committed and of good character.
If he gives the matter some thought and decides that the woman is not appropriate for him, and is afraid that he will develop resentment towards her or that he will later be forced to divorce her, then it is better for him to tell his parents frankly about what he feels and to apologise to them for cancelling his engagement. This is better than going ahead with something he does not really want.
We advise you to think long and hard and to examine your fiancée’s characteristics, both positive and negative, before taking the decision to cancel the engagement. If she is religiously committed and of good character, and has no faults other than what you mention about her hair, then this can be dealt with. And a woman may be beautiful or acceptable despite that problem.
But we also think that you should delay going ahead with the marriage until you have put your mind at rest about that decision.
You should offer a lot of du‘aa’ (supplication) and ask Allah to guide you to that which is best in this world and in the Hereafter.
And Allah knows best.









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