Islamic Articles, - * When Is The Perfect Time For Marriage In Islam?

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Winter is here; so is the wedding season. Everyone, at some point in their lives, begins to worry about their marriage or that of their children. Sometimes, it totally depends on the education and employment of girls and boys after the completion of which people deem it to be the right time for marriage. In other cases, it totally depends on the will of the individuals whenever they are ready for it as maintained by their personal preferences. However, Islam has laid down some principles which define the right age and conditions for a person’s marriage.
The Prophet (SAW) says in a Hadith: “If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil.” (Tirmidhi)
Hence, it’s recommended in Islam to accept a proposal when the parents find it as per the aforementioned hadith once their daughters reach the right age.
Girl’s Permission:
“A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness).” (Al-Bukhaari, Muslim)
The Right Wife:
For men, who are confused if a girl is right for them as their life partner or not, the Prophet (SAW) said, “The woman is married for four things: for her deen, for her beauty, for her family status, and for her wealth. Choosing the one with the deen, you will be safe.”
Therefore, the only important factor for a Muslim man to consider a woman for marriage should be the wife’s deen. That is, her etiquettes, beliefs and sanctity.
Allah has said in Quran that: “Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. And good women are for good men and good men are for good women.” (An-Nur 24:26)
This means that Allah is the guardian of the people who are morally good and He grants them with good life partners.
The Right Age:
There’s no definite age for marriage particularly mentioned in any authentic source. However from the following Ayah, it is confirmed that a girl can be married even before she has reached the age of puberty.
“And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses (i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise” (At-Talaaq 65:4)
In this ayah, Allah mentions the period of Iddah that is made compulsory upon women after Divorce. A girl, even if she hasn’t reached the age of puberty is to exercise the period of Iddah. That means of course that a girl can marry before that age.
Hazrat Muhammad (SAW) married Hazrat Aishah (r.a.) when she wasn’t an adult. However, they consummated their marriage once she was capable of it and with their mutual decision. Hence, it’s compulsory for the consummation of marriage to attain the consent of wife and when she’s mature enough for it.
Many people think that the increasing divorce rate in couples these days is mainly because of the rising immature weddings, which is wrong. The lack of understanding and compromise and the incompatibility between two people are the major factors that lead them to separation. In Islam, the essentials to consider before getting a son or daughter married are mostly overlooked by the parents in our society. People tend to fall for the riches of a boy and the beauty of a girl, which is a big flaw of our community.















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Regards;
NAJIMUDEEN M/
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General hadeeths, Dought & Clear, - * A Christian woman whose father diedand her co-religionists ignore her; she is thinking about entering Islam

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Hi, forgive me if I do not greet accordingly or speak in manner unacceptable. I truly mean no disrespect. I write because I have been considering in accepting Allah as my only God. However, I find myself confused and this is why I seek your advice. Up until almost a year ago I attended a Baptist church and became a Christian. When I made this decision I changed my life for the better. I stop drinking, I married the father of my daughter and changed the type of music a listened to and what clothing I wore. I also changed my way of thinking and began to pray to God all the times. It seemed as if I had finally found the path God had intended for me. Three years after that, my Dad became gravely ill with cancer. During my time of sorrow my church family was nowhere to be found and I was left alone to suffer in sorrow and alone. I prayed besides my Dad death bed begging God to give me strength and comfort. I truly believe if it wasn't for my praying I would of went crazy just sitting there watching a listening to my Dad scream and cry with pain while slowly dying. When my Dad died in December I was very sad but also happy because I had prayed to God to end his suffering even if it meant taking him from us. During this time I did not receive any comfort from the church family nor a gesture of sympathy (card, flowers etc). All I got was a text message from one of them that they were praying for me. Till this day I still have not gotten a call or a visit from any of them. Because my heart was hurt and I was angry with their actions or lack off I stop going to church. I ran into one of them at a store a few weeks ago and they pretended to not see me although they looked at me straight in my face. My daughter who is 7 yrs old was with me and was hurt due to the ladies actions. During my time at the church I gave my tithes, attended ALL church functions and was always there for a fellow Christian. My husband and I made it a point to teach our daughter the teachings of the New King James Bible and what God expects from us. I can't help but feel angry at them and think that Baptists are hypocrites and all around fake. Nowhere in the Bible it read’s that you turn your back on your brothers/sisters. I did nothing to shame myself, family or God. So, why did they treat me that way? Now I rarely pray and I constantly think about what faith is true to Gods words and teachings. My relationship with my husband is just there. We have been together for 20 years and just married 3 yrs and I don’t see myself in his eyes nor does he pay attention to me no matter how much I try to attract him. He almost never wants to have intercourse with me and is always on the computer till 3 am every night. I try so hard to do everything for him and go beyond what he needs just to keep him happy but it never works. We barely talk and I just feel that we are together for our daughter’s sake and nothing more. Lately, satan has been working on me because now I look and think of other men other than my husband especially a Muslim man that works at my job and has shown (respectful) kindness to me. I fear to going back to the life I had before I became Christian and I fear the wrath of God. I have been reading on Islam culture, religious beliefs etc. and wondered if this is God’s true path for me. Please believe me when I say that wanting to accept Allah has NOTHING to do with this Muslim man but everything to do with fear of getting lost in the worldly things again. Can I be accepted into the Islam faith although I’m Hispanic (from Puerto Rico & Venezuela), have had a child out of marriage 7 yrs ago and am I Baptist Christian? And is it true that a woman like me is seen as damaged goods to a Muslim man therefore even if my husband and I were to divorce there could never be any relationship between me and a Muslim man? I ask for your guidance and hope that you can forgive me if I have offended you in any way.
Best regards.
Praise be to Allaah.
1.
Perhaps we can be certain that Allah wants something good for you. Were it not for what those friends did to you, you would not have been put off by them and written to us to ask for advice. By virtue of your good conduct and sound reasoning you have been able to think again about the beliefs that you hold, and this is the first step in the right direction towards attaining the good pleasure and reward of Allah.
When Allah wills something good for His slave, He decrees things for him that will lead him towards right guidance and encourage him to seek it until Allah brings him forth from darkness into light.
2.
It is appropriate for you to think now about the religion that you are following and whether it is the religion with which Allah wants for His creation? Is the happiness that you said you were living with really true happiness? Is your view of Islam correct? The time has now come for you to use your reason and ask yourself: How could Christ (“God”!) be in the womb of a created woman? Is the mother of this “God” (!) -- the Virgin Mary -- a creator or a created being? Who was crucified on the cross in the light of this belief that the divine was not separated from the human; was the divine crucified with him or did it leave him at the time of the crucifixion? Was the Lord God unable to find a way to forgive the sins of mankind except this repugnant way in which His only son was killed?
Does God want to show mercy to mankind and for that reason He punished His son?!
The time has come to think about the idolatrous ideas that Paul introduced to this religion, as he introduced the idea that Christ was created from the divine, after the Christians had been unanimously agreed that he was a created being, a slave or servant of God. Who is Christ according to the Christians? Is he the Lord or the son of the Lord or the third of three? The time has come to think about the belief in Trinity which is contrary to sound human nature and common sense.
The time has come to think about the contradictions in the attitude towards the cross; instead of burning every cross and treating it in a disrespectful manner because it was on something like this that the Lord or the son of the Lord was crucified -- God forbid -- as the Christians claim, we see them venerating it and regarding it as holy and worshipping it. The time has come to think about the embarrassing differences between the Gospels, from which there is no way out except to admit that they have been tampered with and the wording and meaning has been distorted.
Read with us the story of a former preacher who is now a Muslim, Yusuf Estes; if this how he was when he was a preacher in the churches, then how about the ordinary masses of Christians? Yusuf Estes says, telling the story of how he came to Islam:
There were things in the Bible that I did not believe, because I could see many contradictions in it. One of these things that I asked myself and others about was: how can God be one and three at the same time? I asked world-famous preachers about that and they gave a very foolish answer that no rational person could believe. I said to them: How can I be a preacher of Christianity and teach people that God is one person and three persons at the same time, when I am not convinced of that? How can I convince others of it?
Some of them said to me: Do not discuss this idea or explain it. Tell the people that this is a mystery that we have to believe in. Some of them said to me: You can explain it as being like an apple that contains a skin on the outside and flesh on the inside and the seed inside. I said to them: This cannot be given as an example of God. An apple contains more than one seed, so that would mean that there are a number of gods; and there may be worms in it, so there would be a number of gods. It may be rotten and I do not want a rotten god.
Some of them said: It is like an egg which contains the shell, the yolk and the white. I said: This cannot be the likeness of God, because the egg may contain more than one yolk, so that would mean there are a number of gods; or it may be rotten, and I do not want to worship a rotten god.
Some of them said: It is like a man and a woman and their son. I said to them: The woman may get pregnant again and that would mean there are a number of gods. They may get divorced, so this divinity would be split. One of them may die. And I do not want a god who is like that.
Since the time I became a Christian and a preacher of Christianity I could not convince myself about the issue of the Trinity and I did not find anyone who could convince a rational person of it. End quote.
He and his wife and his father became Muslim, by the grace of Allah, and he has not seen any contradiction in Islam or any shirk (polytheism or association of others with Allah). He has never seen any different version of the Qur’aan among the Muslims at all. This is the reason why he and his family became Muslim, and thus Allah saved him from disbelief and punishment and admitted them to the paradise of this world, and we hope that they will all enter the Paradise of the Hereafter.
These issues that we have mentioned to you -- and many others -- have been reasons why thousands of followers of Christianity have begun to think, and Allah has guided many rational people who were enabled to ponder, and they found that what they were following was not the religion that claimed the oneness of the Creator and directed worship to Him alone with no partner or associate, and declared him to be above having any wife, son or partner. They found that Islam is the true religion which proclaims the oneness of God and venerates Him alone as He should be venerated.
From your letter we learned of the grief that you felt when your father died, and the grief that followed it because of the attitude of your former friends. But that is in the past and today is a new day, so turn these sorrows -- which are justifiable -- into joy and happiness which you can bring into your life by thinking about what we have said to you. We are certain that your situation is going to be like that of millions who came before you, who lives have been changed just by their uttering the twin declaration of faith (al-shahaadatayn). Straightaway you will feel true happiness and it will become clear to you that you never tasted happiness at all before this moment.
At that time we will be very happy for you and your new, true faith.
3.
Who told you that there is no place for you in Islam? Who said that the fact that you are American will affect your position and standing among the Muslims? Rather if you enter Islam, you will be held in high esteem by the Muslims and you will be a sister to millions of Muslim women throughout the world. You will be welcomed and respected by every Muslim, because by becoming Muslim you will become a sister in faith to all Muslims. This does not mean that you are going to mix with angelic people, for we are all human and we all make mistakes and have faults. But whatever good there is in others, we have it many times over, and whatever evils we have, others have it many times over. The enemies of Allah have succeeded in distorting the image of Islam and Muslims, yet despite that Islam still has things that distinguish it from all other religions and the Muslims have something that distinguishes them from all other people.
4.
The fact that you have a daughter from a Christian husband does not mean that you cannot be accepted as a Muslim woman. Rather by entering Islam you will be saving yourself and your daughter. The marriage contract that existed between you and your husband will be acknowledged by Islam and its results (i.e., your daughter) will be accepted. Many people have entered Islam and Islam did not require them to change their marriage contracts or say that their children will no longer part of the family, if their marriage contracts were done before they were Muslim.
5.
It is not correct to say that you will spoil the religious commitment of a Muslim man if you get married. Islam allows a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman in the first place, and it is better for her because she may enter Islam because of that. If she becomes a Muslim, that is better for the husband because he will now have someone to help him in his religious commitment.
6.
A Muslim cannot marry a Christian woman when she is still married to her husband, even if that husband is a Christian or a Jew, until they have become divorced and her ‘iddah [waiting period following divorce] has ended.
But if the wife becomes Muslim and her husband is not a Muslim, then she has to keep away from him and not let him be intimate with her, and she should wait until the end of her ‘iddah, which is three menstrual cycles. If her husband becomes Muslim during this period, then she is still his wife as she was before. But if he persists in following something other than Islam, then the relationship between them is over and she may now marry whoever she wants. If she has a Muslim wali (guardian), he may perform her marriage, otherwise the Muslim judge (qaadi), or someone who takes his place, may perform her marriage.
7.
Finally, we ask Allah to guide you to Islam and to show you the truth as truth and enable you to follow it, and to show you falsehood as false and enable you to avoid it.
We are looking forward to receiving a message from you telling us that you have become Muslim and that Allah has brought joy to your heart by bringing you into the fold of Islam. Then we hope that by publishing your story, it will be a cause of many women coming to Islam, and that you will have a reward equal to theirs with Allah on the Day of Resurrection.
And Allah knows best.












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Regards;
NAJIMUDEEN M/
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General hadeeths, Dought & Clear, - *A Christian has come across a mention of our Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) in their scripture

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I am a young Christian man and I have studied the Islamic and Christian religions. I found that the Prophet Muhammad is mentioned in the Gospel, but none of the Muslims want to know the truth and the Christians reject what I say. What should I do?
Praise be to Allah
Dear young man, what good will it do you if all the people are saved and you are doomed? If everyone on earth became Muslim because of learning about what you have found in the Gospel, and they entered Paradise and were saved from Hell, but you did not benefit from that, and you continued to adhere to distorted Christianity until you died following it – God forbid – then, by your Lord, what benefit could you hope for then?
What is in store for you is something else.
Forget about the Muslims and the Christians, and think: what are you waiting for, now that you have seen the truth and you learned about the Prophethood of the Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) in your own scripture?
Do you not know that the messages of Allah to His slaves, and His guidance to the people of earth, were not completed, and the blessing was not perfected, until Allah sent His Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to complete what his fellow Prophets had brought before him of the call to the Lord of the Worlds?
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion”
[al-Maa’idah 5:3].
It was narrated from Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “My likeness and that of the Prophets is that of a man who built a house and completed and perfected it, except for the space of one brick. The people started to enter it and admire it, saying: Were it not for the space of this brick.” The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “I am that brick; I have come to complete (the mission of) the Prophets.” Agreed upon.
Do you not know that Allah took a covenant from the Prophets and from the believers who followed them, that they would believe in the final Prophet of Allah, Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), if they lived to see his message and news of his Prophethood reached them, and they came to know of his religion and his book?
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And (remember) when Allah took the Covenant of the Prophets, saying: ‘Take whatever I gave you from the Book and Hikmah (understanding of the Laws of Allah, etc.), and afterwards there will come to you a Messenger (Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)) confirming what is with you; you must, then, believe in him and help him.’ Allah said: ‘Do you agree (to it) and will you take up My Covenant (which I conclude with you)?’ They said: ‘We agree.’ He said: "Then bear witness; and I am with you among the witnesses (for this)’”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:81].
There are many of your fellow Christians who were guided, who hastened to follow the truth that they found in their scripture, and no threat scared them and no temptation deterred them – men and women, Arabs and non-Arabs, leaders and common folk; let them be a beacon on your path.
Let these Christians from Abyssinia be an example for you too, for as soon as they heard true guidance, they realised that it was the truth that confirmed what they had of the Torah and Gospel, so they became Muslim and followed the unlettered Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, you will find the strongest among men in enmity to the believers (Muslims) the Jews and those who are Al-Mushrikoon, and you will find the nearest in love to the believers (Muslims) those who say: ‘We are Christians.’ That is because amongst them are priests and monks, and they are not proud.
And when they (who call themselves Christians) listen to what has been sent down to the Messenger (Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)), you see their eyes overflowing with tears because of the truth they have recognised. They say: ‘Our Lord! We believe; so write us down among the witnesses.
‘And why should we not believe in Allah and in that which has come to us of the truth (Islamic Monotheism)? And we wish that our Lord will admit us (in Paradise on the Day of Resurrection) along with the righteous people (Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and his Companions ).’
So because of what they said, Allah rewarded them Gardens under which rivers flow (in Paradise), they will abide therein forever. Such is the reward of gooddoers”
[al-Maa’idah 5:82-85].
Why should they not be like that, when their king before them had hastened to follow the truth when he saw it? He was the Negus, the king of Abyssinia. Listen to his story, as told by someone who was there at that time. It was narrated that Abu Moosa (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) instructed us to set out for the land of Abyssinia. News of that reached Quraysh, so they sent word to ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas and ‘Umaarah ibn al-Waleed, who collected gifts for the Negus. We and they came to the Negus, and they brought a gift, which he accepted, and they prostrated to him. Then ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas said: Some of our people have turned away from our religion, and they are in your land. The Negus said to them: In my land? He said: Yes. So he sent for us, and Ja‘far said to us: No one of you should speak; I will be your spokesman today. We came to the Negus when he was sitting in his court, with ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas on his right and ‘Umaarah on his left, and the priests and monks were sitting in two rows. ‘Amr and ‘Umaarah said to him: They will not prostrate to you. When we came to him, the priests and monks who were with him said: Prostrate to the king. Ja‘far said: We only prostrate to Allah. The Negus said to him: Why is that? He said: Allah has sent to us His Messenger; he is the Messenger who was foretold by ‘Eesaa (Jesus), who said that a Messenger would come after him whose name would be Ahmad. He instructed us to worship Allah and not associate anything with Him, and to establish prayer and give zakaah. And he instructed us to do what is right and forbade us to do what is wrong. The people were impressed by his words, and when ‘Amr saw that, he said: May Allah bless the king; they disagree with you concerning ‘Eesa ibn Maryam (Jesus son of Mary). The Negus said to Ja‘far: What does your companion say about the son of Maryam? He said: He says concerning him what Allah says: He is a soul created by Allah and His word whom he brought forth from the Virgin whom no man had touched. The Negus picked up a stick from the ground and held it up, then he said: O priests and monks, what these people say about the son of Maryam does not differ from what you say by as much as the weight of this stick. Welcome to you and the one from whom you have come. I bear witness that he is the Messenger of Allah and that he is the one who was foretold by ‘Eesaa ibn Maryam. Were it not for my position of kingship, I would go to him and carry his sandals. Stay in my land for as long as you want. And he ordered that they be given food and clothing, and he said: Return their gift to these people (Quraysh).
Narrated by al-Haakim inal-Mustadrak(3208)
Do you not know that if you believed in your former religion, then the truth became clear to you and you believed in the religion of Islam, and followed its Messenger, the last of the Prophets and Messengers, you would have a double reward? Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Those to whom We gave the Scripture (i.e. the Taurat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel), etc.) before it, - they believe in it (the Quran).
And when it is recited to them, they say: ‘We believe in it. Verily, it is the truth from our Lord. Indeed even before it we have been from those who submit themselves to Allah in Islam as Muslims’ (like Abdullah bin Salam and Salman Al-Farisee, etc.).
These will be given their reward twice over, because they are patient, and repel evil with good, and spend (in charity) out of what We have provided them.
And when they hear AlLaghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk), they withdraw from it and say: ‘To us our deeds, and to you your deeds. Peace be to you. We seek not the ignorant’”
[al-Qasas 28:52-55].
It was narrated from Abu Moosa al-Ash‘ari (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three who will be given a double reward: a man from among the people of the Book who believed in his Prophet, then lived to see the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and followed him and believed in him– he will have a double reward; and a slave who fulfils his duty towards Allah and towards his master – he will have a double reward; and a man who had a slave woman whom he fed and fed her well, and taught her and taught her well, then he set her free and married her – he will have a double reward.”.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3011) and Muslim (154).
Finally, the Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, said in the Last Testament, i.e., the Qur’an (interpretation of the meaning):
“O mankind! Verily, there has come to you the Messenger (Muhammad(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)) with the truth from your Lord, so believe in him, it is better for you. But if you disbelieve, then certainly to Allah belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth. And Allah is Ever All-Knowing, All-Wise.
O people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians)! Do not exceed the limits in your religion, nor say of Allah aught but the truth. The Messiah ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), was (no more than) a Messenger of Allah and His Word, (‘Be!’ - and he was) which He bestowed on Maryam (Mary) and a spirit (Rooh) created by Him; so believe in Allah and His Messengers. Say not: ‘Three (trinity)!’ Cease! (it is) better for you. For Allah is (the only) One Ilah (God), Glory be to Him (Far Exalted is He) above having a son. To Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is in the earth. And Allah is All-Sufficient as a Disposer of affairs.
The Messiah will never be proud to reject to be a slave to Allah, nor the angels who are near (to Allah). And whosoever rejects His worship and is proud, then He will gather them all together unto Himself.
So, as for those who believed (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism) and did deeds of righteousness, He will give their (due) rewards, and more out of His Bounty. But as for those who refuse His worship and were proud, He will punish them with a painful torment. And they will not find for themselves besides Allah any protector or helper.
O mankind! Verily, there has come to you a convincing proof (Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)) from your Lord, and We sent down to you a manifest light (this Quran).
So, as for those who believed in Allah and held fast to Him, He will admit them to His Mercy and Grace (i.e. Paradise), and guide them to Himself by a Straight Path”
[an-Nisa’ 4:170-175].
We ask Allah to guide you to that which is best in this world and the hereafter, and to open your heart to guidance and the religion of truth.
And Allah knows best.






















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Regards;
NAJIMUDEEN M/
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