Ramadan File, Dought & clear, - *Gathering to eat and celebrate on the last day of Sha’baan.

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Some families get together on the last night of Sha’baan and make food, and some of their lders recite poems for this occasion. What is the ruling on this getting together to eat?
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Sahykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who replied as follows:
I think that this is closer to bid’ah (innovation), and it should be disallowed rather than permitted, because it is being taken as an “Eid” (regular celebration). If it happened only once, then it is OK.
Our response is: we do not allow it.
And Allaah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * Her husband takes her salary; does she have the right to take from him what she is entitled to without his knowing?

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I am working but all my salary is with my husband.He provides me with all the needs .I have no complaints about that.He even gives me a very small amount of pocket money after a lot of requests every month.But he refuses ti give me more thatn that.
I would like to ask can i take from him without his knowledge some money very little amount because i feel he is unjust to me.If i have to give my relatives or my parents who are in need or gifts to my friends i feel very helpless i cant help them because he does not like it but i want to .
I dont want to cheat him even though i feel i have equal rights over not only my money but his money also but sometimes i dont understand why he does not give me money.
I dont want arguements in my house for money thats why i dont want to ask him anymore.
Please help.
I am not taking it for any wrong things.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is not permissible for the wife to take anything from her husband’s wealth except with his permission, unless he is stingy with her in spending what he is obliged to spend. In that case it is permissible for her to take what is sufficient for her and her children, on a reasonable basis, because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (5364) from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), which says that Hind bint ‘Utbah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man and does not give me enough for me and my children, unless I take from him without him knowing. He said: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children on a reasonable basis.”
For more information please see the answer to question no. 20433.
Secondly:
Whatever salary a woman receives is her property, which she may dispose of however she wants, and she does not have to give any of it to her husband or to contribute to household expenses with her husband. Rather spending on the wife and children is obligatory upon her husband, even if the wife is rich, unless he stipulated that she should contribute to the household expenses or if it is the custom that a working woman must contribute to the household expenses.
For more information please see the answer to question no. 126316and 4037.
Thirdly:
If the husband did not stipulate in the marriage contract that he would take some of his wife’s salary in return for giving her permission to work, then it is not permissible for him to take anything from her salary, unless she gives it willingly. If he does take something from it then he is taking something to which he is not entitled, and in this case it is permissible for the woman to take what she is entitled to from his wealth without him knowing.
Shaykh al-Shanqeeti (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If someone wrongs you by taking some of your wealth in an illegitimate fashion and you cannot prove it, and you can take similar to what he took from you wrongfully in a manner that is safe from scandal and punishment, do you have the right to take as much as you are entitled or not?
According to the more correct of the two opinions and according to the apparent meaning of the texts, and by analogy, that you may take as much as you are entitled to and no more, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“then punish them with the like of that with which you were afflicted”
[al-Nahl 16:126]
“you transgress likewise against him”
[al-Baqarah 2:194].
Among the scholars who held this view were: Ibn Sireen, Ibraaheem al-Nakha‘i, Sufyaan, Mujaahid and others.
A group of scholars -- including Maalik -- said that that is not permissible. This is the view of Khaleel ibn Ishaaq al-Maaliki inMukhtasar, where he says concerning an item that is deposited with someone as a trust: He does not have the right to take anything from the one who wronged him equivalent to what he deposited with him. He quoted as evidence for that view a hadeeth that says: “Render the trust back to the one who entrusted it to you, and do not betray the one who betrays you.”
This hadeeth -- even if we assume that it is saheeh -- cannot be quoted as evidence in this case, because the one who takes as much as he is entitled to and no more has not betrayed the one who betrayed him; rather he has got his fair dues from the one who wronged him.
End quote fromAdwa’ al-Bayaan(2/467)
This is the ruling on this action, but it should be noted that each spouse should treat the other in a kind and reasonable manner, and each should give up some of his or her rights to the other, so that good treatment between them may continue.
And Allah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * Her husband only gives her maintenance, and he lives faraway from her.Can she ask for a divorce?

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Peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allaah,
I have been divorced (with talaaq) two times. The first time was because I asked my husband to give me and my children just one day each month when we could sit together, against his wishes and those of his family. The second time was because he loves another woman and he humiliates me in front of my children, and he shows favour to her and does not care about my feelings or the feelings of my children. He tells her that he loves her on the phone, where I can see and hear him, even though he is not married to her. Now he had traveled and left me alone with our children, and he has no connection with us apart from some money which he sends via his family.
If I get divorced, will Allaah compensate me with something better and make me independent of means by His bounty, and will He compensate me for the wrongs that have been done to me by this hard-hearted man? Or will that mean that I am not content with the decree of Allaah? Do I have the right to have a husband with whom I can live in love, mercy and tranquility, or do I have to put up with living a life of humiliation, me and my children, for the sake of this monthly allowance that he sends via his family in order to humiliate me even further? Am I regarded as patient or as weak and broken because I have put up with this life for 11 years for fear of the word of divorce?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Allaah has permitted a man to have several wives, and has forbidden men to mistreat their wives. If a man wants to have more than one wife, then he can keep the first wife on a decent and reasonable basis, or he can let her go in a kindly manner. It is not permissible for him to keep her married to him whilst forsaking her and not giving her her rights. It is not permissible for him to be negligent with regard to his family and the upbringing of his children. Plural marriage has not been prescribed in order to destroy families, rather it is prescribed to build families and increase their numbers.
This forsaking of his wife and negligence is haraam for him, even if he had another wife according to sharee’ah, so how about if he is forsaking his wife and neglecting his family for an illegitimate reason such as a haraam relationship and corrupt desires?
Secondly:
The wife has the right to ask for a divorce from her husband if she cannot bear his bad treatment. This does not mean that she does not accept the decree of Allaah. Indeed in some cases it may be haraam for her to stay with a husband who commits major sins and whose children are not safe from his evil influence and bad treatment. As divorce is allowed in Islam and it may even be obligatory to ask for a divorce in some cases, there is no need to think that this may go against belief in the divine will and decree, because Allaah has decreed both marriage and divorce.
The wife has the right to live with her husband and be treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and to have a husband with whom she can feel happy and who will be like a garment for her, so that there will be love and compassion between them. This is the reason for which marriage was prescribed, and if anything detracts from what we have mentioned, then it is contrary to the reason for which marriage was prescribed.
Hence the husband should choose a woman who is religiously-committed, and fathers and guardians should marry their daughters and female relatives under their care to men who are religiously-committed and of good character, because if the Muslim household is established on the basis of the laws of Allaah, no wrongdoing or cruelty will be seen in it. If a wife dislikes her husband for a legitimate shar’i reason, then she can ask for divorce (talaaq) or can divorce him by khula’, and if he dislikes her he can divorce her by talaaq and give her her rights in full. He should either retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness.
If divorce takes place, then Allaah may decree that she finds a good, righteous husband, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if they separate (by divorce), Allaah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty”
[al-Nisa’ 4:130]
Thirdly:
Some woman stay and put up with their husbands because of the possibility that Allaah may reform them, or so that he will remain in contact with his children and take care of them and spend on them. If a long time goes by and he does not reform or he mistreats his wife and children too much, and she has sufficient money to spend on herself and her children, then there is no point in her staying with him. Rather the right thing to do is to rid herself of him so that she can live a better and more decent life, and raise her children to obey Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
You should take stock of yourself and repent to Allaah for any sins or transgressions that you may have committed against the rights of Allaah or the rights of your husband, or anyone else. Perhaps what has happened to you may be a punishment for a sin that you have committed, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much”
[al-Shoora 42:30]
Think long and hard about your situation and how likely it is that you may find a husband after him or live a peaceful life without him. Consult people around you who are close to you and are sincere. I advise you, if they agree with you, to divorce him if the situation is as you describe in your question. So pray istikhaarah and ask Allaah for guidance, and if you feel at ease with the idea of divorce then go ahead, and ask Allaah to make you independent of means by His bounty. We ask Allaah to set your affairs straight and to relieve your distress and reconcile between you if that is better for you both.
And Allaah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M