Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * His wife pretended to be religious before he married her, then she became heedless about prayer after marriage; should he divorce her?

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I live in UK, I married a sister in Muslim country, for her religiousness. But after marriage, I find that she is not as religious as she showed before the marriage. I only married her for her religion but not for her beauty or wealth or nobility. Now I feel disappointed marrying her as she is much lower in religiousness then what she showed and what I expected.
I am not sure what to do? My future plan was to make future children scholars of Islam (InshaAllah) but i feel she is not the right mother for it. I made my future plans clear to her before marriage. she doesnt like my beard after marriage, but she didn't complaint before marriage. She is persistently disobedient. one time i said if you don't obey then i will divorce you, then she started to obey for a while. I try to teach her Islam but not interested.
She refuses to pray fajar because she needs to have bath. So, I stopped having relation which makes bath obligatory.
We have been married for 2 months. Should I divorce her or be patient?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
There is no doubt that asking about the woman’s religious commitment is the first thing that the man should look at if he wants to get married, as the Prophet (blessing and peace of Allah be upon him) taught us. Moreover one of us can rule only on the basis of what appears to be the case, from asking about the woman and her family, and how she is before marriage. So he should not be content with what she shows or what he thinks from her outward appearance or from a few events. If he tries hard to check and ask, then it becomes clear that she is different from what he expected, this is the matter of the divine decree and has nothing to do with him, and in that case he needs to see the best way to deal with the situation.
The matter of religious commitment is a relative matter. When it comes to details, some people want the level of religious commitment that suits them, such as striving hard to offer naafil fasts, pray qiyaam al-layl, memorize the Holy Qur’aan or a specific portion of it, or have some shar‘i knowledge, etc. Others may vary in the level of religious commitment they seek.
In fact, examining this issue and the possibility of getting what you want is to be done before marriage. After marriage, however, there are two possible scenarios:
-1-
There is a certain level of religious commitment but it is less than expected or less than required. It is possible to accept this situation, even if it is less than we hoped for, if the level of commitment is limited to doing obligatory duties and staying away from haraam things.
If the woman adheres to that minimum obligatory level of performing duties and avoiding haraam things, then she will be fine, in sha Allah, so long as that includes obedience to her husband.
Imam Ahmad narrated (1573), in a report that was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, that ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If a woman offers her five (daily) prayers, fasts her month, guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’”
After that, the man and his wife can work together to do more good deeds and naafil acts of worship.
-2-
But the serious problem is if the shortcoming in doing acts of obedience reaches the level of omitting some obligatory duties or falling into haraam actions.
Imam Ahmad (6664) narrated, in a report that was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Every action starts with enthusiasm, then the enthusiasm wanes; anyone whose enthusiasm wanes but (remains within the limits of) my Sunnah will prosper, but anyone whose enthusiasm wanes and drifts away to something else, will be doomed.”
What this means is that there may be times when a person is very energetic and enthusiastic about worship and acts of obedience, then these energetic times are followed by a decrease in enthusiasm, laziness and a drop from the level previously reached. This is something natural and there is the hope that the individual will still prosper, but that is only if, during the times of decreased enthusiasm and weakness, he does not neglect the obligatory duties, because if he abandons them or takes them lightly, he will be doomed.
Doom is not caused by merely falling into sin, for we are all sinners; rather a person is doomed when sins appear in his general behaviour and that becomes his situation most of the time and he does not care or feel regret or repent; rather he persists in that sin and feels at ease with it.
Secondly:
It is clear from the way you described your wife that her decrease in enthusiasm and backtracking is of the type that is dangerous, and indeed is of the type that makes one doubt that she really was as religiously committed as she appeared to be. Even if she has grown lazy about some acts of worship, what does your beard have to do with her that she should feel annoyed by it?!
What you have to do now is not to show any compromise towards her situation. Being too lazy to get up for Fajr prayer is a major sin and serious offence. In fact it is kufr that puts one beyond the pale of Islam according to many of the Companions of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). That was also stated in a fatwa by Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him). So it is not permissible for you to approve of that. If ghusl is what is preventing her from getting up, then you should not let her go to sleep except in a state of purity, so that she will have no excuse.
We share your anxiety about your wife and we advise you to delay having children with her and to try again with her. If you see that she is praying regularly on time and is serious about it, including – first and foremost – Fajr prayer, and she is obeying you and fulfilling the rights that you have over her, then be patient with her for a while and see how things go. Try to discipline her and teach her, and be patient in putting up with her crookedness and weakness, in the hope that Allah may guide her and set her straight.
But if you find that she is persisting in neglecting the prayer or trying to interfere with your religious commitment and objecting to your beard, then there is nothing good for you in her and we advise you to leave her before having children from her, which would only make the problem more complicated.
We ask Allah to guide you.
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Sacred Months, - "Sha'baan", - * Sha'baan: A Blessed Month that People Neglect - III

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It was narrated on the authority of ‘Ikrimahand other scholars ofTafseer)exegesis( that the verse in which Allaah The Exalted Says )what means(:}On that night is made distinct every precise matter{]Quran 44:4[ refers to the night of mid-Sha’baan. The correct interpretation is that it refers to the Night ofAl-Qadr. It was narrated on the authority of Ibn Rajabthat ‘Ataa’said,"When the night of mid-Sha’baan comes, a record is given to the Angel of Death. It is said: Take the souls of those listed in this record."
Ibn Abu Shaybahnarrated aMursal)incompletely transmitted( narration on the authority of ‘Ataa’that the Prophet,, did not fast in any month more thanSha’baanas the times of death are registered.
An important point about fasting inSha’baan
The Prophet,, said:"It is a month that people neglect, between Rajaband Ramadan."Ibn Rajabsaid,"This indicates that it is favorable to fill one's time with worshipping and acts of obedience to Allaah and that this is liked by Allaah The Almighty. For example, some of the predecessors used to revive the time between sunset and sunrise with prayers. They used to say, ‘It is an hour of heedlessness.’"
This indicates the virtue of remembering Allaah The Almighty at times when people are heedless. Abu Saalihsaid,"Allaah The Almighty marvels at the one who remembers Him in markets."That is because he remembers Allaah The Almighty in a place of heedlessness, among the people of heedlessness.
There are many benefits of reviving times of heedlessness with acts of obedience:
-It is more hidden. Hiding voluntary acts of worship and performing them in secret is better, especially fasting.
-It is more difficult for the soul. The best deeds are the most difficult for the souls because of the scarcity of those who can act as role models. This point was mentioned by the Prophet,,when he said:“The righteous among them will have the reward of fifty of you because you have supporters who help you to do good and they will not have.”The first part was narrated by At-Tirmithi and Abu Daawood.
-The one obeying Allaah The Almighty among the people of disobedience and heedlessness may be a reason for the protection of all the people from trials. The Prophet,,said:"If it had not been for the humble, submissive youth, bowing elderly people, breastfed children and moving cattle, torment would have been sent over you."]At-Tabaraani, Al-Bazzaar, Al-Bayhaqi and Abu Ya‘la[ ]A slightly weak chain of narrators[
A narrated citation reads:"Allaah protects the family, children, descendants and surroundings of a righteous man."
SinceSha’baanis like a prelude toRamadan, it is favorable to perform what is to be performed inRamadansuch as fasting and reciting the Quran in order to prepare yourself forRamadan. Salamah ibn Kuhaylstated that it was said,"The month of Sha’baan is the month of the readers of the Quran."In addition, Al-Hasan ibn Sahlsaid,“Sha’baan said, ‘O Lord, You placed me between two great months, so what is for me?’ Allaah The Almighty said:‘Reciting the Quran.’”
Fatwa:
Shaykh MuhammadAl-‘Uthaymeenwas asked,‘What is the ruling on fasting in Sha’baan?’
He answered,
"Fasting in Sha’baan is a Sunnah )Prophetic tradition( and fasting a lot in it is also a Sunnah. ’Aa’ishahsaid, "I never saw him )the Prophet( fasting in any month more than Sha’baan." Therefore, one should fast a lot in the month of Sha’baan based on the previous Hadeeth. Scholars said, "Fasting of Sha’baan is similar to regular voluntary prayers to obligatory ones. That is why it is a Sunnah to fast in Sha’baan and six days of the month of Shawwaal just like regular voluntary prayers before and after the obligatory ones."
Fasting in Sha’baan has another benefit which is preparing oneself for fasting in Ramadan and to make it easy to observe it. ]Fataawa Arkaan Al-Islaam[
Reflection:
The rewards and virtues of acts of worship increase if sufficient time is spent doing them, if they have a high position among other acts of worship, as well as if most people are heedless of their benefits.
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Sacred Months, - "Sha'baan", - * Sha'baan: A Blessed Month that People Neglect - II

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The wisdom of fastingSha’baanmore than other months:
Ibn Al Qayyimsaid inTahtheeb As-Sunan,
“There are three points about fasting the month of Sha’baan more than other months:
First: the Prophet,used to fast three days every month. Perhaps he was busy and could not fast in some months, so he gathered all these in Sha’baan to fast them before the obligatory fast.
Second: he may have done so to honor Ramadan. This fast is similar to the regular voluntary prayers before the obligatory ones to honor them.
Third: it is a month when deeds are raised to Allaah The Almighty. Thus, the Prophet,liked his deeds to be raised while he was fasting.”
Ibn Hajarseconded this last opinion. He said,"Priority is given here to a more authentic Hadeeth which is: it was narrated on the authority of Usaamah ibn Zayd that he inquired,‘"O Messenger of Allaah, I never find you fasting in any month like you do during the month of Sha’baan."The Prophetsaid:"That is a month that people neglect. It comes between Rajab and Ramadan. It is a month in which the deeds are raised to the Lord of the Worlds. I love my deeds to be raised while I am fasting."’]An-Nasaa’i and Abu Daawood[ ]Ibn Khuzaymah:Saheeh[
A similar narration was narrated by ’Aa’ishah on the authority of Abu Ya‘la where the Prophet,said:“Allaah writes the names of those who are to die during the course of the year. So, I would rather not record my name except while I am fasting.”
How is it that the Prophet,, did not fast frequently inMuharram, despite the fact that he said:"it is the best fast"and he encouraged fasting inSha’baan?
This confusion was resolved by An-Nawawiand narrated by Ibn Hajar. He said,"Perhaps the Prophet,did not know this except by the end of his life; so, he was not able to fast a lot in Muharram. The other possibility is that he had many excuses such as travelling and illness, for example, which prevented him from fasting frequently in it."
Ibn Rajabadopts the view that fasting inSha’baanis better thanMuharrambecause of theHadeeth)narration( by At-Tirmithiwho said,"Fasting in Sha’baan resembles the regular voluntary prayers before or after the obligatory ones. On the other hand, when the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi was sallam, said:‘The best fast after Ramadan is the month of Allaah; Al-Muharram’, he meant voluntary fasting in general. However, the virtue of the fasting that precedes and follows Ramadan is narrated thereto. It falls between two great months, the forbidden month and the month of fasting. There might be something better than that whose virtue is known; either in general or for a certain privilege."]Al-Lataa’if[
Another virtue:
Another virtue is mentioned aboutSha’baan. Mu‘aath ibn Jabalnarrated that the Prophet,said:“On the night of mid-Sha’baan, Allaah looks at His creation and forgives all of them except for the polytheist and the quarrelsome."]At-Tabaraani[ ]Al Albaani:Saheeh[
A final say about the night of mid-Sha’baan:
Shaykhul-Islamsaid )Al-Fataawa Al-Misriyyah(,"The night of mid-Sha’baan has virtues. Some predecessors used to perform Qiyaam )voluntary night prayer( on it. However, gathering in mosques to revive it is a religious innovation. Rather, they used to pray in their houses like the usual Qiyaam night prayers. If some people gather to pray on this night as well as other nights without constantly doing so, there is no harm for the Prophet,led Ibn ‘Abbaas and Huthayfah in prayer. The ruler should prohibit these innovated gatherings."Ibn Rajabsaid,"This is the opinion adopted by Al-Awzaa‘i, the Imaam, jurist and scholar of the people of Shaam. It is the most correct opinion, Allaah willing."
Concerning theHadeeth:"When the middle of Sha’baan comes, do not fast"which was narrated by Ahmad, Abu Daawood, An-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah, it is aMunkarHadeethand classed as weak by Ibn Mahdi, Ahmad, Abu Zur‘ah and Al-Athram. It was narrated by Ahmadfor theHadeethin which the Prophet,says:"Do not precedeRamadan by fasting the day or two before it."However, what is understood from theHadeethis that it is permissible to fast two days beforeRamadan. At-Tahaawibelieves that it is abrogated. In any case, there was a consensus to abandon acting upon it. Regarding the day of mid-Sha’baan, it is not prohibited to fast on it, as it one of the White Days.
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