Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * Problems caused by wife’s illness

Share ::-

My brother married a woman who suffers from retinal atrophy, and he did not know anything about her sickness until two months ago. All he knew was that her vision was weak, and he got married to her. Now he is wondering whether he should separate from her because he feels that she will not be able to raise his children properly if she has children.
He is always arguing with her mother because she speaks badly to him and he thinks that she bewitched him to make him marry her daughter. Now he cannot control his anger most of the time and he beats his wife, and he insults her in horrible terms. I hope you can suggest what is best for them.
Praise be to Allaah.
What you have mentioned about her suffering from retinal atrophy is not one of the faults which the fuqaha’ have stated give the husband the choice of annulling the marriage. But some scholars, such as Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, and Ibn al-Qayyim – and Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen who regarded it as being the correct view – narrated that every fault which puts the other spouse off, so that the purposes of marriage, namely compassion and love, cannot be achieved, mean that the spouse has the choice of annulling the marriage. (Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/163)
Based on this, the choice of annulment is given in every case where there is a fault that affects the purposes of marriage, namely love, intimacy, bearing children, etc.
But your brother came to know of this fault after that, and he did things which indicate that he accepted that, namely continuing to be intimate with her and not hastening to annul the marriage. According to the fuqaha’ this indicates that he accepts it, and that he does not have the right to annul the marriage.
But as you know, divorce is the man’s right and he may divorce his wife if he thinks that he cannot live a good life with her and that he cannot feel love for her and feel at ease with her, which is the basis of marriage.
What we advise in such situations is to be patient with this wife and try to solve the problem. If her mother is the main reason for the problems, then it is better to keep a distance from her and to live in separate accommodation. If your brother lives in the same house as her or nearby, then it is sufficient to keep in touch by phone and pay brief visits, etc. If the wife’s bad attitude is the reason for the problem, then your brother should check himself and how he treats his wife, for the way he treats her, beating her and calling her names, may be the reason for her bad attitude. He should seek the help of people who have experience in dealing with such problems, and try different ways of finding a solution to each problem.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good”
[al-Nisa’ 4:19]
If it is too much for him and he finds that there is no way to solve the problem or to live peacefully with his wife, then there is no sin in divorcing her; in this case she is entitled to the mahr because the marriage has been consummated. And Allaah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Manners of Greeting with Salaam, Dought & clear, - * Ruling on greeting with a gesture

mwb

↓TRANSLATE THIS BLOG↓

What is the ruling in Islaam on greeting by means of gesture with the hands. One usually does this if the person is afar. Is this permissible or does it have no basis?
Praise be to Allaah.
Al-Tirmidhi narrated inal-Sunan(5/56) from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who imitates others. Do not imitate the Jews or the Christians, for the greeting of the Jews is a gesture with the fingers and the greeting of the Christians is a gesture with the hand.” Al-Albaani said: (it is) hasan.
The words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) “he is not one of us” means he is not one of those who follow the same path as us and pay attention to doing things our way. “Who imitates others” means, he imitates those who are not of our religion. The meaning is: do not imitate them at all in any of their deeds, especially in these two characteristics. They would only give or return a greeting by means of a gesture, without speaking the words of salaam (peace), which is the way of Adam and his descendents among the Prophets and awliyaa’ (close friends of Allaah). Al-Nasaa’i reported with a jayyid isnaad from Jaabir, attributing it to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “do not give the greeting of the Jews, for they greet by means of a gesture of the head and hand.” Note: al-Nawawi said: this (the hadeeth of Jaabir) does not contradict the hadeeth of Asmaa’ bint Yazeed: the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed through the mosque where a group of women were sitting, and he greeted them with a wave of his hand. This hadeeth is to be interpreted as meaning that he greeted them with both a gesture and the words of greeting. Abu Dawood also reported this hadeeth from her, saying, “and he greeted us.” The prohibition on greeting with a gesture only is limited to those who are able – both physically and within the limits of sharee’ah – to speak the words of greeting. Otherwise it is permissible for the one who is doing something that prevents him from speaking to respond to a greeting with a gesture – such as when one is praying, or when one is far away; it is also permissible to use gestures if one is unable to speak (“dumb”), or when greeting the deaf.
Greeting with a gesture and without speaking is an imitation of the Jews or Christians. The same applies to many military salutes. The scholars have stated that it is bid’ah to greet with a gesture and without saying the words of greeting (i.e., “al-salaamu ‘alaykum”). See:al-Lama’by al-Turkmaani, 1/285, 282.
And Allaah knows best.

* TO EXPAND OUR " DAWA WORK, IN INDIA" - WE NEED 'FINANCIAL HELP' FROM PUBLICS. - JOIN & HELP OUR WORK! - DONATE ANY AMOUNT - through - BANK-(OR) -CREDIT, DEBITE CARDS to - IFSC : IOBA0002580- * Name :- > M NAJIMUDEEN,- Bank Name: Indian Overseas Bank,
- SB A/C . 258001000004928- THANKING YOU! -
{MAY OUR CREATOR BLESS YOU AND US!!}
-
(Alhamdulillaah/) - ▌▌

Regards,



NAJIMUDEEN M
* CONTACT- aydnajimudeen@gmail.com

Manners of Greeting with Salaam, Dought & clear, - * How should we respond when the People of the Book greetus with salaam?

Share ::-

What is the proper way of greeting a non-muslim (5%'er,FOI,or Christian)when they greet you with the correct Salam's.
Praise be to Allaah.
If the Muslim realizes that the kaafir has said to him “al-saam ‘alaykum”, which means may death be upon you, he should respond in kind by saying “wa ‘alaykum” (and also upon you).
If he realizes beyond a doubt that he has greeted him with the greeting of Islam (al-salaamu alaykum), Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: if the listener realized that the Dhimmi [Jew or Christian] has said “salaam ‘alaykum” and he is sure of that, should he say “wa ‘alayk al-salaam” or just “wa ‘alayk”?
According to the evidence and principles of sharee’ah, he should say “wa ‘alayk al-salaam”, because this is more fair, and Allaah commands us to be just and to treat others well.
(Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah, 1/425, 426).
Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah preserve him) said:
These people who have come to us from the east and the west and are not Muslims, it is not permissible for us to initiate the greeting of salaam with them, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not initiate the greeting of salaam with the Jews and Christians.” (Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh).
If they greet us, then we can respond in a manner similar to that in which they greet us, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally” [al-Nisaa’ 4:86].
When they greet us with the greeting of Islam – “al-salaamu ‘alaykum” – either of the following two cases applies:
Either they pronounce the “laam” (l-sound) clearly, and say “al-salaam ‘alaykum (peace be upon you)”, so we may say “wa ‘alaykum al-salaam” or “wa ‘alaykum”
Or they do not pronounce the “laam” clearly, and so they say “al-saamu ‘alaykum (death be upon you)”, so we should say “wa ‘alaykum” only. This is because the Jews used to come to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and greet him by saying “al-saam ‘alaykum”, without pronouncing the “laam”. “Al-saam” means “death”; i.e., they were praying against the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), praying that he would die. So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to say to them “wa ‘alaykum.”
Thus, if they say “al-saam ‘alaykum”, we should reply, “wa ‘alaykum”, which means: and the same to you, may death be upon you. This is what is indicated by the Sunnah.
But if we initiate the greeting of salaam with them, our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade us to do this.
(Majmoo’ Fataawaa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 2/97, 98).
And Allaah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M