Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * Her husband watches porn with the excuse of stressat work

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My husband has a high stress job and he says the only way he can relax is to engage in various sexual acts.. such as watching porn together or fantasising about threesomes.. or having sex on webcamera with someone watching.. i know all this is haram ,we have a very good relationhship otherwise.. but he pressureises me for these things and i do not want to refuse him as it creates tension in between us..i have tried talking and explaining patiently but this issue keeps coming up again and again.. i would like to add that the only thing that makes me refuse is the fear of it being prohibited in islam.. i am not forced in a nyway by him.. just a sort of pressure and if i refuse he is kind of cold towards me.. i am very worried and stressed about this.. please advise me what should i do.. and also tell me what is teh punishment for these acts.
Praise be to Allaah.
Watching pornographic websites and sexual activity is haraam; it is a disease, not a remedy. The one who does that is afflicted and he should seek to remedy himself by repenting and giving it up, not by making up excuses for himself. All sinners make up excuses for themselves. The one who drinks alcohol or takes drugs or commits adultery – they all claim that they are under pressure and that they cannot escape it except by doing something haraam.
In fact these haraam things only add to their worries and stress. One of the punishments of sin is feelings of stress and alienation, and darkness on the face and in the heart. The further away a person is from his Lord and the more he is indulging in sins, the further away the means of attaining happiness and peace of mind are from him, as Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (i.e. neither believes in this Quran nor acts on its orders, etc.) verily, for him is a life of hardship”
[Ta-Ha’ 20:124].
As for the people of faith and obedience, Allah, may He be exalted, says concerning them (interpretation of the meaning):
“Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”
[an-Nahl 16:97].
What you have to do is advise your husband to keep away from these haraam things, and tell him about beneficial remedies to treat stress and anxiety, one of the greatest of which is reading the Holy Qur’aan, which is the means of bringing relief and peace to the heart. See the answer to question no. 21677and 30901.
Perhaps you can also refer to the essay on “Dealing with worries and stress” on this website.
Secondly:
It is permissible for the husband to enjoy his wife however he wants, so long as he avoids intercourse at the time of menses and in the anus.
There are different way of enjoying intimacy that are not forbidden in Islam, but they are off-putting to people of good taste and sound natures; however they are permissible if the wife agrees to them.
If your husband calls you to do something haraam, you have to refuse and not be a party to sin and disobedience. If he calls you to do something permissible that you find off-putting and distasteful, then it is up to you whether you accept or refuse. If you decide to go along with it because you are afraid he will lose interest in you, you may do so, but it is better for you to fulfil his desires in proper ways that do not make either of you feel put off.
And Allah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Islamic Articles - Dought&clear, - * Will her deceased husband be punished because his mother delayed giving his wife her due share of the inheritance?

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My husband died before the marriage was consummated, and I have an inheritance with his mother, but she is depriving me of it and will not give me the value of that share. Almost one year has passed; am I obliged to give zakaah on it? I do not know how much it is.
Also, will my husband be punished or kept from being granted bliss in his grave because of the delay in sharing out of the inheritance? In order for him not to be punished, do I have to let him off with regard to my mahr and my inheritance?
Praise be to Allah.
Taking possession and gaining ownership of the wealth is one of the conditions of zakaah being obligatory; there is no zakaah on wealth when possession and ownership thereof is not established, because when possession and ownership are not established, the owner of the wealth cannot dispose of it in his own interests, so it is more appropriate that no one else should be entitled to any rights over it before possession and ownership are established.
The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked:
My father died – may Allah have mercy on him – and he left behind in his estate some money that was deposited in bank accounts. Because the division of this money to the heirs was not completed until after more than two years had passed since the death of our father for a number of reasons, some of which were beyond our control and others were due to the fact that some of the heirs live abroad and were late in appointing someone to attend court, and it took some time for those banks to decide about division of the estate, no zakaah has been paid on that money since the death of our father, may Allah have mercy on him. As a little more than two years have passed since then, should the zakaah be paid on the shares of all the heirs put together or should it be paid on each share on its own, and what is the rate of zakaah?
The committee replied:
If the situation is as described, then no zakaah is due on the wealth of your father for the two years during which the estate was not divided, because it was not possible for each of the heirs to take possession of his share, for reasons that were beyond the control of the heirs, and because some of the heirs were far away and they were scattered, which was a cause of the delay in the division of the estate being carried out, as you mentioned. So the share of each heir comes under the ruling on wealth the ownership of which is not established, and one of the conditions of zakaah being valid is that possession and ownership should be established. But when each heir has taken his share of the estate, if one full year passes and it reaches the minimum threshold (nisaab), then zakaah becomes due at the rate of one quarter of one tenth (2.5%). End quote.
Based on that, you do not have to pay zakaah on any inheritance which you have not been able to take possession of or have it at your disposal, or know the value thereof, because your ownership is not established and you are not able to dispose of it in your own interests or in the interests of anyone else. If you do become able to take possession of it or dispose of it, then you must pay zakaah on it from the time when you become able to dispose of it, if it reaches the minimum threshold, when one full year has passed.
Secondly:
Your husband will not be punished for what his mother does of delaying your inheritance or depriving you of the inheritance to which you are entitled, so long as he did not leave instructions to that effect or ask his mother to deprive you of the inheritance, and he did not approve of that during his lifetime, because he has no control over this wealth after his death. When he died, it passed to his heirs and it is now the property of his heirs, and is not his property. So he will not be accountable for what others do with his wealth. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned” [al-Baqarah 2:286].
Al-Bukhaari (6442) narrated that Ibn Mas‘ood said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Which of you loves the wealth of his heir more than his own wealth?” They said: O Messenger of Allah, there is no one among us but his own wealth is dearer to him than that of his heir. He said: “Verily his wealth is that which he has sent on ahead (by spending it in charity and good causes, so the reward for it is stored up for him), and the wealth of his heir is that which he has kept back.”
After his death it is described as his heir’s wealth.
Al-Haafiz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Everything that the deceased leaves behind becomes the property of the heir.
End quote fromFath al-Baari(11/260)
And Allah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Islamic Articles - Dought&clear, - * He was the cause of his grandfather losing his Social Security pension; is he liable for that?

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Ten or more years ago, my paternal grandfather was not working because he was old, and he was given a sum of money every year by Social Security. Then I registered a company in his name, and I registered employees too, then after that he lost the Social Security pension that he used to get every year, because of the company I registered in his name. Of course all the money earned by the company was for me, because I was a government employee and I was not allowed to open a company. Hence I had no choice but to use my grandfather's name, which I did with his consent. Please note that my grandfather did not understand anything because of his great age, as he had reached the age of nearly eighty years. Then he died (may Allah have mercy on him) approximately 5 years after the date of registering the company. After he died, I fired all the workers who had been under his sponsorship, and I shut down the company.
My question now is:
Am I liable for his pension during these five years that he used to get from Social Security, that was withheld from him by Social Security because of my registering a company in his name and changing his profession from pensioner to businessman?
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
If your grandfather had given you permission to do that, and he was in his right mind and aware of the consequences that would result from his giving you permission, then you are not liable for what resulted from that of his being deprived of his pension.
Al-Kaasaani said: The one who is given permission is not liable for the consequences of an action for which he was given permission.
End quote from Badaa’i‘ as-Sanaa’i‘, 7/305
As-Subki said: Approval of a thing means approval of what results from it.
End quote fromal-Ishtibaah wa’n-Nazaa’ir, 1/152
Ibn al-Qayyim said: The one who is given permission to do an action is not liable for the consequences result from it.
End quote fromI‘laam al-Muwaqqi‘een, 2/33
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: A person is not liable for anything that may result from an action for which permission was given; if no permission was given, then he is liable.
End quote fromManzoomah fi Usool al-Fiqh, p. 15
Secondly:
If your grandfather was not aware of anything at the time when you registered the company in his name, then his consent is not valid, according to sharee‘ah.
As you were the cause of his losingof his Social Security pension, then you are liable for his pension for the five years during which he stopped receiving it. Liability usually occurs when damage is caused to something or its owner is caused to miss out on its benefits.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: Damage is of two types: damaging something that exists or causing the loss of benefits of something that did not come about when it should have been there.
End quote fromal-Fataawa al-Kubra, 5/406
The total sum of money should be distributed to his heirs in accordance with the shares dictated by sharee‘ah.
And Allah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M