Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * What is the reward for spouses treating one another kindly?

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What is the reward of a righteous wife for her religious commitment before Allaah, if she tries to her husband happy, loves him, helps him remain chaste, takes care of him and treats him as if he is her child with all compassion, and she does everything to make him happy, and obeys him in all things, and he is very happy with her, and always prays that Allaah will be pleased with her?
What is the reward of the man too, if he treats his wife in a similar manner?.
Praise be to Allaah.
I ask Allaah to preserve the love and happiness between you, and to fill the houses of all Muslims with that which has filled your house of good companionship and kind treatment. I give you many glad tidings of which our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke when explaining the reward of the wife who is as you described:
It was narrated from ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“If a woman does her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter whichever of the gates of Paradise you want.”
Narrated by Ahmad (1/191). The editors of al-Musnad said: It is hasan li ghayrihi (hasan because of corroborating evidence). It was classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Targheeb(1932).
It was narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Shall I not tell you about your men in Paradise?” We said: Yes, O Messenger of Allaah. He said: “The Prophet will be in Paradise, the Siddeeq will be in Paradise, the man who visits his brother who lives far away and visits him only for the sake of Allaah will be in Paradise. Shall I not tell you about your women in Paradise?” We said: Yes, O Messenger of Allaah. He said: “The loving and fertile one who, if she gets angry or is mistreated or her husband gets angry says, ‘Here is my hand in your hand, I shall not sleep until you are pleased.’”
Narrated by al-Tabaraani inal-Mu’jam al-Awsat(2/206). It was also narrated from a number of other Sahaabah, hence it was classed as hasan by al-Albaani inal-Silsilah al-Saheehah(3380) and inSaheeh al-Targheeb(1942).
And it was narrated from Husayn ibn Muhsin (may Allaah be pleased with him) that his paternal aunt went to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning some need and he met her need, then he said: “Do you have a husband?” She said: Yes. He said: “How are you with him?” She said: I do what he tells me, except what is beyond me. He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.”
Narrated by Ahmad (4/341). The editors ofal-Musnadsaid: Its isnaad may be understood to be hasan. al-Mundhiri said: A jayyid (good) isnaad. It was classed as saheeh by al-Haakim inal-Mustadrak(6/383) and al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Targheeb(1933).
Al-Manaawi said inFayd al-Qadeer(3/60):
i.e., he is the cause of your entering Paradise if he is pleased with you, and the cause of your entering Hell if he is displeased with you. So treat him well and do not disobey his commands with regard to that which is not a sin. End quote.
As for the glad tidings which came to the husband who treats his wife kindly, it is when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) testified that he had perfect faith which dictated that he should enter Paradise, and that he is superior to all people.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“The most perfect of the believers in faith is the one who is best in attitude, and the best of you is the one who is best in attitude towards his womenfolk.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1162); he said it is a hasan saheeh hadeeth. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
And Allaah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * Ruling on sexual fantasies

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We got married three and a half years ago, and he is very good and very religiously committed. We worship Allaah together as much as we can, praise be to Allaah. But the problem started with me from the beginning of the marriage. Whilst having intercourse he had to tell me sexual stories and I would use my imagination, because I could not reach climax otherwise. In order to feel satisfied I have to fantasize. The problem with me is that I feel guilty every time after having intercourse, because the images that I fantasize about stay with me– I never imagine myself with any other person at all, only people whom I do not know. I told him about this problem and he did not get angry, but I feel like it is a kind of betrayal. What should I do? Please advise me. What is the Islamic ruling?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Sexual fantasies are among the thoughts that cross a person’s mind because it is something that is stored in the subconscious which is affected by the environment in which he lives and the scenes that he sees. These are thoughts that occur to most people, especially the youth, but they vary from one person to another with regard to their type, strength and effect.
Islamic sharee’ah is the sharee’ah of the fitrah (natural state of man) and it is in harmony with human nature, and it takes into account the psychological fluctuation that Allaah has made a part of the human make-up. So it does not go beyond human limitations or impose impossible burdens.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allaah burdens not a person beyond his scope”
[al-Baqarah 2:286]
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has forgiven my ummah for whatever crosses their mind so long as they do not speak of it or act upon it.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2528) and Muslim (127).
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said commenting on this hadeeth:
Whatever crosses a person’s mind, so long as he does not dwell on it or continue to think of it, he is forgiven for it, according to scholarly consensus, because it does not happen voluntarily and he has no way of avoiding it.
Al-Adhkaar(p. 345).
Passing fancies come under the heading of that which crosses a person’s mind, which is forgiven according to the hadeeth quoted above. So if a person imagines haraam things that came to his mind unbidden, there is no blame or sin on him, rather he has to ward them off as much as he can.
Secondly:
If a person dwells on haraam thoughts and calls them to mind, then the fuqaha’ differed as to how to view this situation – is it covered by that forgiveness or does it come under the heading of thinking and resolving 9to do something haraam) for which a person may be called to account?
This issue was discussed by the fuqaha’ in the following manner:
If a man is having intercourse with his wife and is thinking of the charms of another woman, so that he imagines he is having intercourse with her, are those thoughts and fantasies haraam? The fuqaha’ differed concerning that.
The first view is that it is haraam, and that the one who deliberately brings haraam images to mind whilst having intercourse with his wife is sinning.
Ibn ‘Aabideen al-Hanafi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The view that is closest to the spirit of our madhhab is that it is not permissible, because imagining that woman as if he is having intercourse with her is imagining oneself committing a sin with a woman who is not permissible for him.
Haashiyat Radd al-Muhtaar(6/272).
Imam Muhammad al-‘Abdari, who is known Ibn al-Haaj al-Maaliki (may Allaah have mercy on him), said:
A man should refrain from thinking such thoughts and tell others to avoid this behaviour too, i.e., this obnoxious characteristic that has unfortunately become very common, which is when a man sees a woman whom he likes, he goes to his wife and has intercourse with her, and starts to imagine that woman whom he has seen.
This is a kind of zina (adultery) because of what our scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) have said about the one who takes a tankard and drinks water from it, but he imagines that it is alcohol that he is drinking – so that water becomes haraam for him.
What we have mentioned does not apply only to men, rather it also includes women, and it applies even more so to them, because what is common nowadays is that they go out or look out from windows, and if they see someone whom they like, they start thinking about him, then when they have intercourse with their husbands they bring that image that they have seen to mind, so each of them may be committing zina in some sense – we ask Allaah to keep us safe from that.
He should not only avoid that himself, he should also draw his family’s and other people’s attention to it, and tell that this is haraam and is not permitted.
Al-Madkhil(2/194, 195).
Ibn Muflih al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Ibn ‘Aqeel stated inal-Ri’aayah al-Kubrathat if a man imagines the image of another woman who is forbidden to him whilst having intercourse with his wife, he is sinning, but a passing thought that he cannot prevent does not constitute a sin.
Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah(1/98).
The evidence for this opinion is the view favoured by a number of scholars, that if thoughts that cross the mind become entrenched and may turn into something that one resolves to do, then they come under the heading of things for which one is accountable, and that haraam fantasies that a person deliberately calls to mind are not covered by forgiveness, because they have been thought of deliberately and the person will be called to account for that.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The reason why passing thoughts are forgiven is what we have mentioned above, that they cannot be avoided. But it is possible to avoid dwelling on them. Hence dwelling on them is haraam.
Al-Adhkaar(345).
The second view is that it is permissible, and that there is no sin on the one who does that. This is the view of a number of later Shaafa’i scholars, such as al-Subki and al-Suyooti.
They said: That is because there is no resolve or determination to sin in fantasies. He may imagine that he is having intercourse with that woman, but there is no resolve in his heart or any plan to do that, rather he may refuse if given the opportunity to do it.
It says inTuhfat al-Muhtaaj fi Sharh al-Minhaaj(7/205, 206) – which is a Shaafa’i book:
Because when he thinks of that or imagines it, it does not occur to him to actually commit zina or do any of the things that lead to it, let alone resolve to do it. All that is happening to him is that he imagines something reprehensible as something good. End quote.
See:al-Fataawa al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kubra(4/87).
It seems that the correct view is the view that such fantasies are makrooh, even if we do not say that they are haraam. That is for the following reasons:
1- Many psychologists regard sexual fantasies as a psychological disorder if they dominate a person’s thinking to such an extent that he cannot enjoy any pleasure except through these fantasies, and that may lead to abnormal sexual fantasies.
2- Islamic sharee’ah teaches the principle of sadd al-dharaa’i’ or blocking the means that may lead to haraam things and closing every door that may lead to evil. It is to be expected that sexual fantasies may lead to a person committing haraam deeds. A person who frequently imagines something and wishes for it will inevitably develop the motive to do it and will try to do it a great deal. So he starts by looking at haraam images, and his eyes become accustomed to looking at haraam things, then he will try to fulfil his fantasies.
3- Most of these fantasies comes to people’s mind by haraam means in people’s minds, such as permissive satellite channels and by watching scenes of decadent societies from kaafir lands all over the world, where there is no modesty and watching sex scenes is becoming a daily habit, as is obvious to anyone who live or works in those countries.
4- Finally, such fantasies may lead to spouses losing interest in one another, so the wife is no longer attractive to her husband, and vice versa, which leads to marital problems, and then sufferings and problems start.
For all of these reasons, our advice to everyone who is tested with such fantasies is to hasten to put a stop to them and rid himself of them. The following means may be of help:
1 –Completely avoiding everything that may provoke such fantasies, such as haraam movies and TV shows which are shown on satellite TV, as well as avoiding reading stories that generate such fantasies. We have already discussed on our site the fact that it is haraam to read such sexual stories. See the answer to question no. 34489.
Al-Ghazaali said inIhya’ ‘Uloom al-Deen(1/162):
The way to ward off distracting thoughts is to cut off their source, i.e. avoid the means that could create these thoughts; if the source of such thoughts is not stopped, it will keep generating them. End quote
2 – Regularly reciting the adhkaar that are prescribed in sharee’ah, especially that which is said before having intercourse: “Allaahumma jannibna al-shaytaana wa jannib al-shaytaana ma razaqtana(O Allaah, keep the Shaytaan away from us and keep the Shaytaan away from that with which You bless us).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (141)and Muslim (1434).
3 – Focusing on the present enjoyment instead of that which is absent. In both spouses there is that which will keep the other from thinking of haraam things. If each spouse focuses on the attractions of the other, they will not be distracted by fantasies of other things.
4 – Imagine if your husband had fantasies like you do, would you accept that? Wouldn’t that make you feel unhappy? How can you accept to make your husband feel like that? Try to use this thought to get rid of what you are feeling.
5 – Consult psychologists. There is nothing wrong with your going to a female psychologist or family doctor and asking her for advice; you may find something to help you in sha Allaah.
I ask Allaah to guide and bless you and your husband.
And Allaah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Fwd: Scholar Alert - [ Hipertention, Diabetic foot syndrome ]

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From: Google Scholar Alerts <scholaralerts-noreply@google.com>
Date: Sun, 22 Mar 2015 15:34:18 +0000
Subject: Scholar Alert - [ Hipertention, Diabetic foot syndrome ]
To: aydnajimudeen@gmail.com

Scholar Alert: [ Hipertention, Diabetic foot syndrome ]

Healthcare utilization of people with Type 2 diabetes in Germany: an
analysis based on health insurance data
N Müller, T Heller, MH Freitag, B Gerste, CM Haupt... - Diabetic Medicine, 2015
... antihypertensives. This is not surprising when a hypertension
prevalence of 83% is taken into
account. ... All rights reserved. with Type 2 diabetes mellitus: a
population-based cohort study. ...
anti-diabetic medication in the United Kingdom: a population-based analysis. ...

Hypertension in type 2 diabetes mellitus: effect of the disease and
treatment on development of peripheral artery disease
JD Solanki, AH Makwana, HB Mehta, PA Gokhale... - ... Journal of Diabetes in ..., 2015
... sure control and risk of macrovascular and microvascular complica-
tions in type 2 diabetes
(UKPDS 38). ... Ganesh J, Viswanathan V. Management of diabetic ACEI
users. ... Preserving renal
function in adults with hypertension and diabetes: a consensus
approach: National Kidney ...

[PDF] a phase i/ii study of biweekly capecitabine and irinotecan plus
bevacizumab as second-line chemotherapy in patients with metastatic
colorectal cancer
M Ozaka, M Ogura, T Yamaguchi - Drug Design, Development and Therapy, 2015
... 1+ within 2 weeks before enrollment; uncontrolled hypertension;
uncontrolled diabetes; clinically
significant ... tendency of aggravation of BV-related adverse events,
including hypertension,
proteinuria, and ... 25 (56.8) 5 (11.4) stomatitis 18 (40.9) 1 (2.3)
hand-foot syndrome 23 (52.3 ...

[HTML] Early Intervention for Low-Temperature Burns: Comparison
between Early and Late Hospital Visit Patients
MSS Choi, HJ Lee, JH Lee - Archives of Plastic Surgery, 2015
... disease, and the remainder of the patients suffered from one or
more diseases such as diabetes
mellitus, hypertension, or cerebrovascular ... Risk factors of
treatment failure in diabetes foot ulcer
patients. ... Predictive factors for successful limb salvage surgery
in diabetic foot patients ...

[HTML] Anatomical Characteristics and Surgical Treatments of Pincer
Nail Deformity
DJ Jung, JH Kim, HY Lee, DC Kim, SI Lee, TY Kim - Archives of Plastic
Surgery, 2015
... Seven patients had underlying disease, including chronic kidney
disease, hypertension, diabetes
mellitus, Buerger's disease, and angina. ... be associated with
complications in older patients and
smokers, as well as in patients with diabetes mellitus, chronic ...
Surgery of the foot. ...

Evaluation of tissue accumulation levels of advanced glycation end
products by skin autofluorescence: A novel marker of vascular
complications in high-risk patients ...
S Yamagishi, K Fukami, T Matsui - International Journal of Cardiology, 2015
... dysfunction and heart failure in high-risk patients such as
diabetes, end-stage renal disease and
hypertension. ... SAF, but not chronic kidney disease (CKD), was
associated with macroangiopathy
in 418 type 2 diabetic patients independent of diabetes duration [42]. ...

Entanglement of Sepsis, Chronic Kidney Disease, and Other
Comorbidities in Patients Who Develop Acute Kidney Injury
M Heung, JL Koyner - Seminars in Nephrology, 2015
... factors. Comorbidities - such as chronic kidney disease, diabetes
mellitus, liver
disease, cardiac disease and cancer - may contribute to the development of these
syndromes and complicate their management. Recognition of ...

Case of dermatophyte abscess caused by Trichophyton rubrum: a case
report and review of the literature
M Inaoki, C Nishijima, M Miyake, T Asaka, Y Hasegawa... - Mycoses, 2015
... He had hypertension that was not being treated at the time of
first visit ... of collagen disease, three
cases of nephrotic syndrome, three cases of bullous pemphigoid and
three cases of diabetes
mellitus ... Faergemann et al.[9]a, 72/M, Leg, foot, < 1 cm, Multiple,
+, sole, nail, N/A, T. rubrum ...

Interactions between plasma homocysteine and arterial stiffness in
chronic kidney disease in community-dwelling individuals: The
Maine-Syracuse Study
MF Elias, GE Crichton, WP Abhayaratna - Journal of Human Hypertension, 2015
... Serum homocysteine, folate, vitamin B12 levels and arterial
stiffness in diabetic patients: which
of them ... Diabetes-Metabolism Research and Reviews 2009; 25(1):
70-75 ... homocysteine levels,
aortic stiffness and wave reflection in patients with arterial
hypertension, isolated office ...

Assessing accurate BP measurement: Size and technique matter!
N Coogan, A Marra, EA Lomonaco - Nursing2015, 2015
... The patient's forearm must be supported at the level of the right
atrium. * The patient should sit
with feet flat on the floor and back supported. ... 1. CDC. Vital
signs: prevalence, treatment, and control
of hypertension--United States, 1999-2002 and 2005-2008. ... Jones DM, et al. ...

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Family & Society, - * The Way to Reform Society

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Good manners, respecting others, and ensuring their rights result in friendly bonds between people, and removes dislike and grudges from their hearts. In this way the hearts become pure, sympathetic, and kind; so feelings of love and brotherhood prevail. The Messenger of Allahsaid: “He is not from my nation, he who does not respect our elderly, have mercy upon our young, and honor our scholars.” ]Musnad Ahmad[
Good moral conduct is the path to beneficial knowledge:
Allah The Exalted Says )what means(: }Allah will raise those who have believed among you and those who were given knowledge, by degrees. And Allah is acquainted with what you do.{ ]Quran 58:11[
We are so much in need today for beneficial knowledge that leads us towards the progress, glory, and dignity that we have lacked for a long time. At the same time, this would achieve for us the satisfaction of our Lord and knowledge that is not a result of ]following[ the inseparable two: whims and ignorance. Good manners save us from such things.
A student of knowledge – any type of knowledge –cannot obtain it without acquiring good manners first. Should a person obtain some knowledge without obtaining good manners, it shall have negative consequences on him in this life and in the Hereafter, because he risks being a bad scholar.
Our predecessors frequently cautioned about taking knowledge from someone who lacks good manners.
One of the righteous predecessors said, “One who seeks religious knowledge and does not have good manners is likely to tell a lie about Allah ]The Exalted[ and His Messenger.”
Another person said, “Through good manners, knowledge can be understood, and through knowledge, deeds are soundly performed.”
Good manners are a necessity
Good manners are necessary for every Muslim with Allah The Exalted, the Prophet Muhammadand with all creation. Allah The Exalted Says )what means(: }And speak to people good ]words[{ ]Quran 2:83[
When there is interaction between a Muslim and another person, each one should fulfill the criterion of rights and obligations; and it is necessary to understand the principles needed for interacting with others. This is what is meant ]here[ by good manners. This can only be gained through acquiring knowledge. Some would say good manners are a kind of etiquette; but in reality they are a Sharee‘ah )Islamic legislation( and religion and a way by which to draw nearer to Allah The Exalted; and they are subject to the five basic Sharee‘ah rulings. Good manners are an obligation upon every Muslim to seek and to abide by ]in everyday life[. Good manners constitute the following five basic Sharee‘ah rulings: that which is obligatory, forbidden; recommended, and that which is permissible, and that which is disliked.
• Obligations are known through good manners:
Through good manners a Muslim knows what his obligations are in worship, in daily practices, in his interaction with others and in his conduct. The Messenger of Allahsaid, “May Allah have mercy upon a man who is forgiving if he sells, ]who is forgiving[ if he buys, and ]who is forgiving[ if he collects money due to him that he had lent out.” ]Al-Bukhari[
• Good manners are the nation's image:
We require good manners so that a youth respects his elders, a student respects his teacher, a teacher respects his students, offspring respect their parents; a wife respects her husband. The Messenger of Allahsaid, “He is not from my nation he who does not respect our elders, have mercy upon our young, and honor our scholars.” ]Musnad Ahmad[
• Good manners are the result of the Da‘wah of the Prophets:
Good manners are the means to every virtue, and they are one of the purposes for sending messengers and the result of their Da‘wah )call to Islam(.
The Messenger of Allahsaid:
• “I was sent to perfect righteous manners.” ]Ahmad[
• “A believer reaches with his good manners the rank of one who is fasting and praying throughout the night.” ]Ahmad[
• “There is nothing heavier in the scales ]of the Hereafter[ than good manners.” ]Abu Dawood[
• “I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for he who leaves arguing even if he is right; and a house in the center of Paradise for he who does not lie even when he jokes; and a house in Upper Paradise for the one who has good manners.” ]Abu Dawood[
When you realize the value of good manners in Islam and how Islam gives much importance to it then know that acquiring good manners is comprised of two stages:
First:The manners that parents teach their children
Second:The manners that a person acquires as he grows up
Parents should teach their children basic manners, so that they become an essential part of their lives and they can easily acquire them as they grow up. Should teaching a young child good manners be ignored, it is very difficult to achieve that after he has grown up.
Allah The Exalted Says )what means(: }O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is people and stones…{ ]Quran 66:6[
Ibn ‘Abbassaid )that protecting them in the verse means(: “Educate them and teach them good manners.”
The manners required for a person when he is grown is to supplement what was missed, and this is what is required, because it is necessary for the reformation of the soul. With a righteous soul the body becomes sound; rather, a person’s whole life and affairs become sound.
Allah The Exalted Says )what means(: }He has succeeded who purifies it ]the soul[, And he has failed who instills it ]with corruption[.{ ]Quran 91: 9-10[

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M