Welcome to Islam, - * From a bathing suit to hijaab

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Somayyah was educated in a convent and as a teenager worked as a model and in cocktail lounges. Growing up in Ireland and Britain, she tried drugs and liquor and supported alcoholic and sometimes abusive parents.
Years later the 25-year old Irish woman moved to the Gulf Arab Emirate of Dubai where, through books loaned by friends, she learned about Islam.
“I would go to the beach in my bathing suit and listen to music on my walkman,” she said.
“One day I was going to the beach in a taxi driven by a Pakistani who had Quran on the radio. I got there and put one foot on the ground to get out.
“Then I looked at the taxi driver and said: ‘No, take me back home.’ I couldn’t go to the beach and take my clothes off.”
Now Somayyah, a school teacher who adopted the name of Islam’s first female martyr, will not leave her flat without covering herself from head to toe in Hijaab. Since she reverted her family has refused to see her.
In interviews, some said they reverted because they were disillusioned by changes in their own religious traditions.
Others said they were influenced by husbands or relatives or that they liked the sense of community.
“I had seen so many changes in the church that unsettled me,” said Kathy Grigg, an American in her mid-thirties whose family supported her reversion to Islam.
“Latin was dropped from the mass, women were not only no longer required to cover their heads in church but were permitted to wear pantsuits. Abstinence from eating meat on Fridays was dropped.”
“There was no more reverence. But to me, seeing a Muslim pray, to bow down on the ground…”
Dr. Bilal Philips, 49, a Canadian who had worked for the Saudi air force religious affairs department in Riyadh and who was well-known as a TV religious presenter, said he belonged to the communist movement in Canada and the United States.
“I became fed up. Basically I was searching for something meaningful,” he said of his reversion 24 years ago.
Some US military personnel were exposed to Islam when they served in the Gulf war.
Philips manned an Islamic information center in a tent at an air force base in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia. In the six months after the Gulf war 3,000 Westerners reverts at the center, 98 percent of them women, or US servicemen he said.
They gave up alcohol but wearing Muslim attire and praying five times a day clashed with military duties.
“You got out of uniform as quickly as you could and put Hijaab back on,” said one revert, Asma Markusson, a former US army reservist who grew up in Illinois wanting to be a nun.
As for prayers “I had to catch my prayers when I could.”
An organization called Muslim members of the military has now been set up in Washington to tackle such issues as prayer timings and wearing the Hijaab.
Markusson said that when she arrived in Saudi Arabia in 1990 she had “strange ideas” about Muslims.
“There was this chop-chop business,” she said, referring to amputations as Islamic punishment for crimes.
“And then what about all this harem stuff?” She now lives in Bahrain, one of two wives of a Saudi man.
Markusson gave up figure skating after she reverted. Others stopped wearing cosmetics and bathing suits.
Jumana Sharpe, British woman who is the second wife of a UAE national, lost her business.
“Putting on Hijaab has been difficult for me. I had my own beauty salon and it did cause a stir with my mostly Western clients,” she said.
Westerners who reverted say the hardest part is not the change in lifestyle but alienation from family and friends or discrimination when they return home wearing hijaab.
Some women say they have had objects thrown at them. Jan Lifke said her passport was held at a US airport because officials couldn’t believe she was an American!!
“My mother told me I was going to hell when I told her I reverted,” Markusson said.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * She feels attracted to some one other than her husband

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I am a married woman with kids.My husband treats me very well and takes care of me well.Recenetly one of his relatives a guy almost about 10 years younger than I am and I became very close and before I knew it he fell in love with me.I told him that its not on but his feelings for me grew and grew. I asked him to make Istikaara namaaz and ask Allahs guidance and he did so and he performed his namaaz thrice and all 3 times he got a positive answer with me.I dont see him but I know that since his a very decent boy and sincere. I have also grown to have feelings for him but I try and hide it all the time.Is it possible for me to make istikaara whilst married and also what do we do? Please make duaa for me and help me in this very diffcult situation as I dont want to cause any pain to my husband and my family.
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has caused men to be attracted to women, and women to be attracted to men, and this inclination sometimes results in haraam relationships such as zina, and sometimes it results in permissible relationships such as marriage. Allaah has made the wife a covering for her husband and has made the husband a covering for his wife. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“They are Libaas [i.e. body-cover, or screen, or Sakan (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with them)] for you and you are the same for them”
[al-Baqarah 2:187]
One of the blessings that Allaah bestows upon some spouses is that He creates love and compassion between them, and helps each of them to do that which causes harmony to grow in the family and ward off disputes and arguments. This is a very great blessing indeed, which is not appreciated by anyone but those whose family relationships are disrupted and disputes and arguments arise amongst them, which turn the marital relationship into an unbearable hell. If that happens, each spouse starts to dream of a stable family life, and the man wishes for a wife with whom he can live in peace, and the wife wishes for a man with whom she can live in peace.
From your question, it may be understood that Allaah has bestowed all these blessings upon you, so what you should do is be grateful to Allaah for this great blessing and strive to preserve it and the family with which Allaah has blessed you, for millions of women wish that they could be in the good situation in which you are, but you do not appreciate its value.
You should note that it is not permissible for a woman to form a relationship with a non-mahram man. If she is married, then such a relationship is even more haraam, because it is a transgression against the husband’s rights and honour.
Based on this, it is not permissible for you and this evil lover to pray istikhaarah, because istikhaarah is only prescribed in cases where it is not clear if the matter is good or bad, and the Muslim does not know where his interests lie, so he prays istikhaarah asking that Allaah will help him to attain that which is good if it is good, or divert it from him if it is bad. But if a Muslim prays istikhaarah with regard to disobeying Allaah or going against His commands, this is a sin for which he has to repent to Allaah.
To explain further: if a Muslim woman prays istikhaarah about marrying someone other than her husband when she is still married to her husband, then in fact she is praying istikhaarah about wrecking her home and family, and praying istikhaarah about hurting her children, and praying istikhaarah about divorcing a husband who is treating her well and taking good care of her. So she is praying istikhaarah about betraying him and stabbing him in the back by tearing apart his family, so that his home and hers will be destroyed at her hands. She is praying istikhaarah about responding to great kindness and good treatment with a great wrong and denying the rights of one who has treated her well.
All of these factors and many others apply to the istikhaarah prayer that you offered.
As for the positive result that you say your friend got, undoubtedly this is a case of the shaytaan making following one's whims and desires appear attractive. The Muslim should not pray istikhaarah about doing something that is haraam, so how can he pray istikhaarah and claim that he got a positive result?!
Moreover, after praying istikhaarah the Muslim should resolve firmly either to do it or not to do it. Whatever Allaah makes easy for him is what is good, but if he waits until he feels good about it or sees a dream and the like, these are usually illusionary matters on which no shar’i ruling can be based.
Based on the above, you should push away all whispers from the shaytaan that have to do with this matter, and do not give evil any way of reaching you or your family or children. You should realize that you have fallen into a trap of the shaytaan, because he has made you attractive to this young man and has made him attractive to you so that he may achieve what is his greatest dream, namely the destruction of a stable, believing Muslim family and the divorce of two spouses who love one another, and the neglect of their children.
Thwart the plans of the shaytaan by not letting this young man destroy your life and your family. Cut off all means that may enable him to continue to have any place in your life.
One of the ways in which you can ward off these devilish whispers is to ask yourself the following questions and answer them honestly:
1. If this young man is righteous, then how can he accept to destroy the home of his Muslim brother and split up his family?
2. If this person really loves you, why is he striving to wreck your home and destroy your family? Does he love you or does he love himself and is only looking out for his own interests and desires?
3. If this young man were to get what he wants and you were to get divorced from your husband – Allaah forbid – what would be the fate of your children who are a trust about which Allaah will question you on the Day of Resurrection?
4. What guarantee do you have that this young man will treat you as nicely after marriage as he does now? It should be noted that many marriages that are based on “love” are doomed to failure after only a few months, because they are based on a weak foundation, not on a foundation of pleasing Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
5. Do you expect that trust will last between you after you get married? If he loves you although you are married, then how can you be sure that he will not fall in love with someone else who is also married or not married? How can he trust you if you destroyed your home for his sake? This pattern may be repeated when you are married to him. These doubts will persist and will be a cause of anxiety for both of you. You have both accepted something haraam and you have not refrained from establishing a haraam relationship even though there is a legitimate marriage contract between you and your husband, so who can guarantee that it will not happen again?
With regard to your request for a du’aa’, I ask Allaah, the Most High, the Almighty, by His grace and favour, to make goodness easy for you and to ward off all evil from you, and to continue to bless you and your family with stability and love, and to keep you and your husband and children safe, and to ward off from you the whispers of the shaytaan and his making falsehood attractive.
And Allaah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * Is it permissible to engage in coitus interruptus or to use a condom?

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On the first night after getting married, can one use contraception ( e.g condom ) or should this not be allowed. This is because it may be possible (by the will of Allah) for my future wife to get pregnant, but we may not choose to have children so early in our marriage.Please advise.
Praise be to Allaah.
It is permissible to engage in coitus interruptus if a person does not want a child, and it is also permissible to use a condom, but that is subject to the condition that the wife gives her permission for that, because she has the right to full enjoyment and also to have a child. The evidence for that is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: We used to engage in coitus interruptus at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). News of that reached the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he did not forbid us to do that. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 250; Muslim, 160
Although that is permitted, it is nevertheless makrooh and intensely disliked. Muslim (1442) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about coitus interruptus and he said: “That is the secret burying alive of infants.” This indicates that it is strongly disliked.
Al-Nawawi said:
Coitus interruptus means intercourse in which, when ejaculation approaches, the man withdraws and ejaculates outside the vagina. It is makrooh in our view in all circumstances and with all women, whether the woman consents to that or not, because it is a means of preventing offspring. Hence in the hadeeth it is called “the secret burying alive of children,” because it cuts off the means of producing offspring, like killing a newborn by burying him or her alive. With regard to it being haraam, our companions said that it was not forbidden…
These ahaadeeth and others, when taken in conjunction, may be understood as meaning that it is makrooh, but not strongly so, and the reports in which permission is given for that may be understood as meaning that it is not haraam; they do not mean that it is not makrooh.
It is better for the Muslim not to do that, unless there is a need for it, such as if the woman is sick and cannot cope with a pregnancy or it would be too difficult for her or would cause her harm. Also, coitus interruptus cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to have a lot of children, and it also means that the woman’s pleasure is incomplete.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M