Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * Is it permissible for his wife to take care of a non-mahram man who is paralysed?

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What is the ruling on a woman taking care of her husband’s paternal uncle who is elderly, because of his health situation?
He is paralysed and cannot take care of himself. This means that the wife will be changing his diapers and clothes, and looking after him in all ways, because his wife is also elderly and sick, and she cannot look after him, and all his relatives are also elderly.
Praise be to Allah.
If this old man does not have anyone such as a wife, sons or daughters who can take care of him, and there are no men who can take care of these matters, even in return for payment if he or whoever is looking after him can afford it, then there is nothing wrong with a non-mahram woman taking care of him, so long as she tries to avoid looking at or touching the private part. If that must be done, then it should be done using a barrier, such as gloves and the like.
If she does these things hoping for and seeking reward with Allah, acknowledging her husband’s rights, and helping one who is sick and paralysed, then she will be rewarded, in sha Allah.
And Allah knows best.

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Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * One of the wives is seeking the help of unjust laws to cause harm to the other wife; what is the ruling?

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I am the second wife of a righteous man, and I love him very much. Since weve got married, his first wife has thrown him out, and demands to be divorced. She has a terrible temper and jealosy, which makes it basicly impossible for her to accept this marriage. She demands him to divorce me, and he does'nt have the niya to do this. She has asked the kafir government for help, and even the police.
When she accepts, she says that she will have 3 days, and I will have 1 day . My husband works 8 hours a day so this gives me basically 8 hours with my husband before he has to go to her for her 3 days again.
Sometimes she puts the condition of me having 1 day and she has to have 2 days and my husband wants me to accept this so that she doesn't divorce him. its hard for me as my heart is not content with this. I have given up so many rights as it is so that she might come back to him. She says that he has kids with her therefore she has right to more days. wallahi this is opression . I dont have any other option than accepting this in order for her not to divorce him. what advice could you give me? it hurts so much. Many brothers have been tested with divorce, and if that is his qadr he should accept it. oppressing my rights will not give him sweetness in his first marriage.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Undoubtedly if one of the wives, whether it is the first wife or otherwise, strives to bring about the divorce of the other wife, that is haraam and is striving for the sake of falsehood, and for that which angers the Most Merciful and pleases the Shaytaan. This comes under the heading of covetousness and selfishness. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“And whosoever is saved from his own covetousness, such are they who will be the successful” [al-Hashr 59:9]. This indicates that the one who is motivated by covetousness and pursues his whims and desires is a loser.
It also comes under the heading of thinking negatively of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, and of weak faith in His will and decree, for all provision is in the hand of Allah, including the love of a husband for his wife, the time he spends with her, and his interest in her. All of that is included in the provision that is granted by Allah, and that which is with Allah cannot be attained by disobeying Him.
Al-Bukhaari (5152) and Muslim (1408) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to ask for her sister to be divorced so as to deprive her of what is rightfully hers and take it for herself; rather she will have what has been decreed for her.”
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
From this report we understand that it is not appropriate for a woman to ask her husband to divorce her co-wife so that she can have him to herself; rather she will have what has already been decreed for her, and the divorce of her co-wife will not detract anything from that which has been decreed for her, or add to it.
Al-Akhfash said: It is as if he meant that she seeks to deprive her of her husband’s goodness so that she can have it all to herself.
Abu ‘Umar said: This hadith is one of the best hadiths about the divine decree, according to the scholars who have knowledge of the Sunnah. It indicates that no one will obtain anything except that which has been decreed for him.
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“Say: ‘Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us’” [at-Tawbah9:51]. So this matter is quite clear to the one whom Allah has guided, praise be to Allah.
End quote fromat-Tamheed(18/165)
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This indicates that it is emphatically prohibited for a woman to seek the divorce of a co-wife, and emphasises that she should be content with whatever Allah has decreed for her.
End quote fromFath al-Baari(9/127)
Secondly:
Undoubtedly her efforts to harm her husband, and her seeking help from the kaafir police against him are also obviously haraam. It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to do such a thing, which is the result of the Shaytaan toying with her.
The same applies to her efforts to cause harm to her co-wife with regard to division of the husband’s time, and to make the husband give her less than is her right, or to make him incline towards the first wife, either for fear of her efforts to seek divorce from him, relying on the kaafir laws that will help her to do that, or to put pressure on the husband because of his children, or other similar reasons, or abusing other weak points that she sees in her husband and is exploiting in order to get something that is not permissible for her, such as her husband being more inclined towards her or favouring her with regard to division of his time, or trying to bring about the divorce of her co-wife.
The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever harms others, Allah will harm him, and whoever causes hardship to others Allah will cause hardship to him.”
Narrated by Imam Ahmad (15755), Abu Dawood (3635), at-Tirmidhi (1940) and Ibn Maajah (2342); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.
It is not permissible for the husband to respond to her covetousness or her wishes; rather he must strive to treat his wives equitably as much as he can. However we do not think that he should let the matter go as far as divorce; rather he should try to ward that off and put things straight, and he should be keen to keep his wife and look after his children, and spare them from living without a father, especially in that kaafir land.
If it is not possible for him to treat his wives equitably, because of the circumstances mentioned, or for other reasons that may prevent him from doing that, then we do not advise you to let your relationship with your husband reach the level of all or nothing, by saying “Either me or her”, or “Either give me my rights in full or divorce me,” or “Either this or that,” and so on.
Rather the wise person tries to achieve the best of two options and ward off the greater of two evils, to achieve whatever he can of that which serves the best interests and ward off whatever he can of harm, to the best of his ability.
Undoubtedly staying with a husband whom you love and he loves you, and who finds comfort in you and you in him, even if that is once every three or four days, is better for you than striving to seek divorce and live without a husband, especially in a country like yours.
The worst-case scenario is: imagine if your husband had four wives, not just two, what would you do? Would you ask him to divorce all his other wives, so that he would have more time for you, as his first wife is doing? Or what would you do?
Be tolerant with your husband and give him a break, so that he can manage the situation and solve the problem, for kindness is never introduced into a thing but it makes it more fair-seeming, and it is never removed from a thing but it makes it ill-seeming. When Allah wills good for the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them, and if He wills ill for them, He removes kindness from among them. Faith is based on two strong foundations: patience and tolerance. Patience enables a man to bear what he faces of the pains and troubles of life, and helps him to cope with religious duties, and to resist the whims and desires of the self and natural impulses.
Through tolerance one will be able to show one’s good side and will be able to resist whims and desires, and will strive to purify oneself and increase one’s faith.
May Allah make things easy for you, set things straight between you and your husband, suffice you against the evil of that which is worrying you, and reconcile you and your husband on the basis of the best of that which Allah loves and is pleased with.
And Allah knows best.

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Islamic Articles, - Dought & clear, - * Where is Paradise and where is Hell?

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Where are Paradise and Hell located? Some people say that Hell is in the interior of the earth. Is that true?
Praise be to Allah.
What has been stated by the scholars is that Paradise is in the seventh heaven and Hell is in the lowest level of the earth.
Al-Bukhaari (7432) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If you ask of Allah, then ask Him for al-Firdaws, for it is the middle of Paradise and the highest part of Paradise, and above it is the Throne of the Most Gracious.”
Al-Bayhaqi narrated inal-Ba‘th wa’n-Nushoor(455), with a da‘eef isnaad from Ibn Mas‘ood that he said: Paradise is in the seventh, highest heaven and Hell is in the seventh, lowest earth. Then he recited the verses (interpretation of the meaning):“Nay! Verily, the Record (writing of the deeds) of Al-Abrar (the pious who fear Allah and avoid evil), is (preserved) in ‘Illiyyeen” [al-Mutaffifeen 83:18]and“Nay! Truly, the Record (writing of the deeds) of the Fujjar (disbelievers, sinners, evil-doers and wicked) is (preserved) in Sijjeen” [al-Mutaffifeen 83:7]. Al-Bayhaqi said immediately after that: The hadith of al-Bara’ ibn ‘Aazib and Abu Hurayrah about the punishment of the grave, and what they narrated from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) about the location of the soul of the believer and of the disbeliever are indicative of that. End quote.
Al-Haakim (8698) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn Salaam that Paradise is in the heaven and Hell is in the earth. Classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, and adh-Dhahabi agreed with him.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
‘Atiyyah narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas, who said: Paradise is in the seventh heaven and Hell is in the seventh earth. This was narrated by Abu Nu‘aym.
Ibn Mandah narrated from the hadith of Abu Yahya al-Qattaat from Mujaahid, who said: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas: Where is Paradise? He said: Above seven heavens. I said: Where is Hell? He said: Beneath seven seas, one above the other.
Ibn Abi’d-Dunya narrated with his isnaad from Qataadah who said: They used to say that Paradise was in the seventh heaven and that Hell was in the seventh earth.
Some of them quoted as evidence for that the fact that Allah, may He be exalted, told us that the disbelievers will be shown to the Fire morning and evening, i.e., during the barzakh period [between death and the resurrection] and He told us that no gates of heaven will be opened to them. This indicates that Hell is in the earth.
End quote fromat-Takhweef min an-Naar(p. 62-63).
Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Where are Paradise and Hell?
He replied: Paradise is in the highest of ‘Illiyyeen and Hell is in as-Sijjeen, and as-Sijjeen is in the lowest earth, as it says in the hadith: “When the person is dying, Allah, may He be exalted, says: ‘Record the book of My slave in Sijjeen in the lowest earth.’” As for Paradise, it is above, in the highest of ‘Illiyyeen. It is proven from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that “The Throne of the Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, is the roof of Jannat al-Firdaws.”
End quote fromFataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb(4/2)
The shaykh also said:
The location of Hell is in the earth, but some of the scholars said that it is the oaceans, and others said that it is in the centre of the earth. What appears to be the case is that it is in the earth, but we do not know exactly where it is in the earth.
The evidence that Hell is in the earth is the verse in which Allah, may He be exalted, says: (interpretation of the meaning):“Nay! Truly, the Record (writing of the deeds) of the Fujjar (disbelievers, sinners, evil-doers and wicked) is (preserved) in Sijjeen” [al-Mutaffifeen 83:7]. Sijjeen is the lowest earth, and Hell is in the earth.
There are hadiths that have been narrated concerning this, but they are da‘eef (weak). There are also reports from the early generations, such as Ibn ‘Abbaas and Ibn Mas‘ood, and this is the apparent meaning of the Qur’an. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“Verily, those who belie Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and treat them with arrogance, for them the gates of heaven will not be opened, and they will not enter Paradise until the camel goes through the eye of the needle (which is impossible)” [al-A‘raaf 7:40]. Those who disbelieve in the signs of Allah and are too arrogant to believe in them will undoubtedly be in Hell.
And Allah knows best.
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Islamic Articles, - Dought & clear, - * Should he marry his cousin in secret?

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I am a 20-year-old young man. Some times ago, my cousin came to live at our home, the problem it is that she does not put the hijab and sometimes, we are alone at the house and she calls me to the fornication but I resist and I spoke to her about marriage. His father, besides not commanding the hijab to his daughter the hijab refuses to marry her because of its studies and I am afraid of giving in to his(her,its) temptation. I would want to know if we can get married in secret, without informing his father because she told me that he will never agree to marry her before the end of her studies, is before 5 years and I am afraid of fornicating with her and besides making it several times later.
Praise be to Allah.
The presence of your cousin with you in the house, when she does not wear hijab and you see her and are alone with her is something that is haraam and is not permissible. When Islam forbade women to show their adornments and take off the hijab, and made it haraam for a woman to be alone with a non-mahram man, it forbade these things so that the matter would not develop further, as appears to be the case from your question.
What you must do is fear Allah, your Lord, and take precautions to keep yourself safe and far away from sin.
Either this woman should leave and live somewhere else, but it should be close to your family so that your father will be able to check on her at any time and be reassured of her welfare.
Or you could marry her, but it should be a valid marriage with the permission of her father. With regard to the idea that her father refuses to let her get married before she has completed her studies, if you have not heard that directly from him, then you should ask her father for her hand in marriage. That will undoubtedly be better than the situation you are in at present. We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to help and guide you both.
With regard to what you are asking about, namely marrying her in secret, this is not permissible for the following reasons:
Firstly: the approval of her guardian is one of the conditions of marriage being valid, as has been explained previously in fatwa no. 7989. If you marry her without the knowledge of her guardian, this will make the marriage invalid.
Secondly: marriage must be witnessed or announced openly, but you want it to be a secret marriage that no one knows about. A secret marriage that is not witnessed or announced openly is also an invalid marriage. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
As for getting married in secret, in which the parties agree to conceal it and not bring anyone to be witness to it, this is invalid according to most scholars, and it comes under the heading of illegal sexual intercourse. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“All others are lawful, provided you seek (them in marriage) with Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) from your property, desiring chastity, not committing illegal sexual intercourse”
[an-Nisa’ 4:24].
And Allah knows best.

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