Dought & clear, - In the case of general supplication (du’aa’), it is not stipulated that it should be narrated in the Sunnah

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I heard one of the ignorant people offering supplication and one of the things that he said in his supplication was: “O Lord, do not make me dependent on any one or make me in need of anyone; make me independent of everyone, O You on Whom people rely and depend, Who is the One, the Only, the Self-sufficient, Who has no partner or son. O Allah, bring me back from misguidance to guidance and save me from every sin and trouble.” What is your opinion on this supplication?.
Praise be to Allaah.
You should differentiate between two types of supplication:
1. The first type is restricted supplication, by which we mean that it is connected to a certain time or place or act of worship, or that Islam specifies a certain number or virtue and similar restrictions, such as the supplications that are narrated at the beginning of prayer, the adhkaar of morning and evening, the du’aa’s for sleeping, eating and so on.
In this type of supplication it is essential to limit it to that which is narrated in sharee’ah, without adding or subtracting anything. It is not permissible to make up any kind of supplication to take the place of that which is narrated in the Sunnah.
This is what the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) taught to al-Bara’ ibn ‘Aazib (may Allah be pleased with him) when he said to him:
“When you go to bed, do wudoo’ as for prayer, then lie down on your right side, then say: ‘O Allaah, I have turned my face towards You and entrusted my affairs to You and relied completely upon You, out of hope and fear of You. There is no refuge or safe haven from You except with You. O Allah, I believe in Your Book which You have revealed, and in Your Prophet whom You have sent.’ Make these your last words. Then if you die that night, you will have died in a state of fitrah.”
He said: I repeated them in the presence of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him), and when I reached the words, ‘O Allah, I believe in Your Book which You have revealed’ I said: ‘I believe in Your Messenger whom You have sent,’ and he said: “No, ‘in Your Prophet whom You have sent.’”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (247) and Muslim (2710).
Al-‘Allaamah al-Mu’allimi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his bookal-‘Ibaadah(p. 524):
What a great loss is incurred by the one who forsakes the supplications that are proven in the Book of Allah or in the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), so he hardly calls upon Allah by them, and he goes to something else and recites it regularly. Is this not wrongdoing and transgression? End quote.
2. The second type is general supplication, which means asking Allah for needs both public and private, turning to Him and asking Him for what one needs and wants, such as supplication whilst prostrating, during the last third of the night and on the day of ‘Arafah and so on.
With regard to this kind of supplication, it is not essential that it be proven or narrated [in the texts], rather it is sufficient for the words of this supplication to be words that are acceptable and correct according to sharee’ah. There should be no transgression or overstepping the mark in supplication, and there should be no supplication that involves sin or severing the ties of kinship.
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(24/203-204):
The matter of supplication is broad in scope, so that each person may call upon his Lord for what he needs in ways that do not involve any sin.
As for the du’aa’s and adhkaar that are narrated in texts, the basic principle concerning them is that we should adhere to the wording and numbers that are narrated. The Muslim should pay attention to that and adhere to it and not add to the specified number or add to the wording, or subtract anything from that, or change anything. End quote.
It also says (24/275):
The du’aa’s that are narrated in the Qur'aan and Sunnah are those which it is prescribed to adhere to, pay attention to, memorise and publicise. As for the other du’aa’s which all people say, they are not like that, and the best that may be said concerning them is that they are permissible, but they may contain phrases that are confusing or incorrect. End quote.
It seems that the du’aa’ or supplication mentioned in the question comes under the heading of general supplication, and by examining its words and phrases, it seems that it is a permissible supplication and there is nothing wrong with it, and it does not seem to us that there was anything in it that is objectionable from a shar’i viewpoint; rather its words are sound and correct. So you should not denounce it or brand the one who says it as ignorant.
And Allah knows best.

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For children, - Masjidil Haram, the Qiblah is a symbol of Muslim Unity

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Another aspect is the fact that the Qiblah is a sign of the spiritual unity of all Muslims worldwide under the law of one God. In his poem, The Outpourings of the Soul, Dr. Mohammed Iqbal, the Islamic poet-philosopher, wrote:
Under the religion of monotheism, do people unite.
While disunited, glory you cannot gain.
Your Prophet just came to save you from that plight.
To make you one nation, so you do remain.
Your Qiblah is one and the Book you recite,
Without that unity, your efforts are in vain.
The Qiblah is important because it gives us a sense of unity, uniformity and discipline. If there were no Qiblah, we would pray as isolated groups without being connected to one another. The Qiblah gives us a focus; a common sense of purpose; a direction.
One of the verse of Glorious Qur'an states as: "To Allah belong the east and the West: Whithersoever ye turn; there is the presence of Allah." Glorious Qur'an (2:115)
In consideration of the above verse the question that comes to mind is: If Allah (SWT) is present wherever we face, what then is the need to face the Qiblah (during the prayers)?
(The order for) facing the Qiblah is not at all intended to confine the presence of Allah (SWT) in a particular direction. However, since man is a material entity and thus, must necessarily face a direction while offering his prayers, it has been ruled that all should face one particular direction during their prayers.
This is with the objective of realizing unity and harmony amongst the Muslims, and preventing confusion, disorder and scattering amongst them.
Just reflect how scathing and disorderly it would be if each person were to offer his prayers in a different direction and the people were to establish scattered rows (for the prayers)?
Incidentally, the direction that has been stipulated as the Qiblah [the direction towards the Holy Kaabah (Kaaba)] is a region that is not only holy but also one of the most ancient bases of monotheism and so, directing oneself towards it serves to awaken the monotheistic reminiscences (within oneself). [Tafseer-e-Namunah, vol. 1, pg. 415.]

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Family Issues, - Loss of a child and Misacarriage

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Sayyidina Abdullah bin Mas'ud(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, "Whoever sends forth three children that never reached puberty, they will be for him [and her] a strong fortress [in the hereafter]." Abu Dharr said, "I sent forth two." The Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, "And it held good for two also, Sayyidina Ubai bin Ka'ab(radhiyallahu anhu) said that: "I sent forth one,did the order hold good for one also." The Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, "Yes, it stood for one also[subject to SABR]."[Ahmad, Tirmidhi, and Ibn Majah]
Sayyidina Abu Moosa Asha'ari(Radhiyallahu anhu) says that the Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wassallam) has said that if a small child dies, Allah tells the angels that they have taken away the child and the heart of His devotee.The angels will say ,'Yes,the same has been done.'Then Allah will ask,"What His Devotee has said."The angels will say that he recited: " Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi ra ji oon" ( We belong to Allah and we are to return to Him.). Then Allah will say,"Build a house for his devotee in Paradise and name it, 'The House of Praise."[Tirmizi]
Sayyidina Anas(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that the Muslim, whose three young children die, will be admitted by Allah to Paradise. The occasion for his securing forgiveness, will be the Mercy and Benevolence, which Allah has on these children.[Bukhari]
Sayyidina Anas(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that whosoever patiently bore the loss of his three children, hoping to be rewarded, will be admitted to Paradise. A woman stood up and asked, 'What about one whose only two children died", The Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that this glad tiding was for that person also. The woman felt sorry that she did not ask about the death of one child.[Nisai]
Sayyidina Atba bin Abdul Salmah(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that, one, whose three young children died, would be awaited for- by his dead children, at all eight gates of Paradise, that he might enter from any gate, he would like. [Ibn Majah] In Tibraani, this hadith is narrated by Sayyidina Abu Dhar(radhiyallahu anhu)
Sayyidina Abu Hurairah(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that, it is not permissable for the fire to touch the person, whose three young children have died. He will pass over the Bridge of Siraat only for the sake of formailty.[Bukhari, Muslim]
Sayyidina Abu Hurairah(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that the young children of Muslims are entitled to Paradise. On the Day of Judgement, they will put the garment of their parents and will not leave them, till Allah admits them to Paradise.[Muslim]
Sayyidina Abu Saeed(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said to the women, that whosoever, among them has sent three of her children(ie.passed away), will have them as a cover over the fire. A woman asked, if there were only two, the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, they too will do likewise.[Bukhari, Muslim]
Sayyidina Ali(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that: "The miscarried child will pester its glorious and mighty Lord for protecting its two parents from the Fire until it is told, 'O miscarried child that pesters its Lord! Enter your father and mother into Paradise.' Then it will drag them with its umbilical cord until it makes them enter Paradise."[Ibn Majah, Abu Ya?la]
In al-Bukhari, Nasa'i and Ahmad, the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasalam) said, "Allah Glorious and Mighty says, 'There is not for My believing servant any other reward, when I seize His dearly beloved among the people of this world and he(she) bears it expecting compensation, except Paradise.'"
Sayyidina Mu?adh(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that: "By the One in Whose hand is my soul, truly the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother with its umbilical cord to Paradise, provided she had shown the patience for the sake of reward from Allah."[Ibn Majah,Ahmad]
And he(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said : "Your little ones are the larvas (da?aamees) of Paradise. They will meet their parents and grab them by their garments or their hands to no end, other than that Allah will enter them Paradise."[Muslim]
Abu Huraira(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that Allah's Messenger(sallallahu aliyhi wassallam) said "The miscarried fetus that I send before me is dearer to me than a rider whom I leave behind."[Ibn Majah]
Sayyidina Abdullah bin Abbas(radhiyallahu anhu) says that once the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wassallam) said that the (lady), whose two young children had died and she patiently bore the loss,would be admitted to the Paradise by Allah. Sayyidina Ayesha (radiyallahu anha),asked if only one child had been lost. The prophet (sallallahu alaihi wassallam) said the same, held good for one child also. Sayyidina Ayesha(radhiyallahu anha) then asked if anyone had lost no child ,than the Prophet (sallahu alaihi wassallam) said that for his community,he would himself go ahead, for no calamity greater than his death would come to the community.[Tirmizi]
Sayyidina Umme Salma(radhiyallahu anha) says that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wassallam) said that if any devotee suffers a loss and he(she) recites the following duaa, then Allah rewards him(her) and also compensates him(her) (with a better substitute): "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi ra ji oon. Allhumma ajurni fi musie-bati wakhluf li khairam minha."(We belong to Allah and we are to return to Him. O Allah, give me strength to bear patiently this loss and grant me a better substitute).
Sayyidina Abu Salma(radhiyallahu anha) says that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wassallam) said that whenever any of them suffers a loss, he(she) should pray as follows : "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi ra ji oon. Allhumma indaka ah-tasibu musie-bati fa-ajirni biha wa-abdilni khairam minha." (We belong to Allah and we are to return to Him. O Allah, I expect reward from You for this loss. So You reward me and make up my loss.)[Tirmizi]

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Family Issues, - Guidance for the Muslim Wife - Complete book. (Part 14)

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SOME EXEMPLARY INCIDENTS
Sisters, the etiquettes of how to lead a pious life mentioned in the previous pages is not merely hypothetical, but in fact some Muslim women have practised upon these etiquettes and presented an example for us. The world remembers these women till today and they will be remembered till the day of Qiyamat. A few incidents will be narrated to serve as an example.
FATHIMA -AZ-ZAHRA RADHIALLAHU ANHA
Rasulullah's (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) daughter was drowned in the fear of Allah. She used to sob bitterly in salaat, yet she did not falter in serving her husband. Today many women boast of their worship while trampling all the rights of the husband. Thereafter they have hope in their worship leading them to salvation. This is erroneous. This incident clearly explains why.
One day Hadhrat Fathima was ill. In this condition she performed ablution and stood up for salaat. Hazrat Ali Radhiallahu Anhu also woke up and went for salaat. When he returned after completing his salaat, he found Fathima Radhiallahu Anha grinding flour with the hand-mill. Hadhrat Ali Radhiallahu Anhu said: "O daughter of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), rest for a while. Do not let your illness deteriorate."
Fathima Radhiallahu Anha smiled and said: "Both these duties are not so difficult so as to aggravate any illness. To worship Allah and to serve the husband are the best cures for any sickness. If one of them become the cause of death, what better death can there be?"
Together with the worship of Allah, how much importance did Fathima Radhiallahu Anha attach to serving her husband. Also note that Rasulullah's (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) daughter was merrily grinding flour and regarded it as her good fortune.
THE SECOND DAUGHTER OF RASULULLAH SALLALLAHU ALAIHI WASALLAM
Some women lose hope looking at the oppression of their husbands. They should tread the path of piety and have hope in Allah's mercy that one day this oppression will cease and they will be in comfort. Allah most certainly rewards one for being patient. An incident of this nature is that of one of Rasulullah's (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) daughters.
A daughter of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was married to Abu Lahab's son. When the chapter of Abu Lahab was revealed in the Quran, Abu Lahab became very angry because his destruction was mentioned therein. He instigated his son to divorce Rasulullah's Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam daughter. He (the son) first went to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and hurled abuse at him and thereafter divorced his daughter. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and his daughter were greatly perturbed. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was so disturbed that he cursed Abu Lahab's son saying : "May Allah destroy him by means of a dog". When does the cry of an oppressed go in vain? Abu Lahab's son was destroyed in a most dreadful manner.
There were many people travelling on a journey. At nightfall they camped at a place. Abu Lahab's son slept on a high boulder in fear of Rasulullah's Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam curse. At night while he was sleeping, a dog came and sniffed at all those who were sleeping. Then it sniffed at Abu Lahab's son and tore him to pieces. Rasullulah's (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) daughter was rescued from this oppression and was then married to Hadhrat Usman Ghani Radhiallahu Anhu.
There is some solace for oppressed women in this incident and a great lesson for oppressive husbands. Oppression and transgression should be refrained from as they are disliked by Allah.
THE DAUGHTER OF SAEED
Hadhrat Saeed bin Musayyab had a beautiful daughter who was a hafizah and aalimah. The caliph of that time desired her for his son, but Saeed refused because the prince was not pious. In his (Saeed's) sight wealth had no reality. Upon this refusal, Saeed was severely punished by the caliph but he did not accept the proposal.
Saeed had a student who was extremely poor. He used to come regularly to Saeed's gathering. Once he remained absent for a few days after which he came. Saeed asked him the reason for his absence. He said that his wife had passed away and had to remain absent as a result. Saeed consoled him. When he began to depart Saeed asked him if he desired another wife. The student said: "Hadhrat, who will give their daughter to a pauper like me." He uttered these words with extreme remorse. Saeed consoled him and promised to get him married immediately. He (Saeed) brought his daughter and the nikah was performed. In the evening he took his daughter to the student's house where they could meet.
It is significant to note that the girl was so pious that after rejecting the king's proposal she did not object to marrying a poor person. She was happy and served her husband peerlessly. If the parents of today can demonstrate simplicity and piety like Saeed, these innocent girls will find good homes. The reason for them not getting married is because they cannot find a wealthy home. In this way many a girl is wasting her valuable youth.
THE DAUGHTER OF SHUJA KIRMANI
Hazrat Shuja Kirmani was a great saint of his time and was related to the royal family. The king of Kirman requested Hazrat Shuja to marry his daughter to the prince. Upon his request Shuja asked for 3 days respite during which he remained in the mosque. On the final day he saw a mendicant performing salaat. When he completed his namaaz, Shuja requested him to marry his daughter. The saintly mendicant replied that he was a pauper and that he could not get married. He only had 3 dirhams (silver coins). Notwithstanding this meagre amount, Shuja accepted him as his son-in-law. What happened thereafter is worth noting.
When the girl went to her husband she saw a piece of dry bread lying in a bowl. She asked him about it. The husband replied that it was yesterday's left over bread which he had kept for tonight. The bride was shocked to hear this and asked permission to return to her father's house. The husband said that he knew a girl from the royal family could not live with him. However the bride replied that she was not returning because of his poverty, but due to the weakness of his Iman (faith) because he kept yesterday's bread for today. She said: "I am totally surprised at my father who, for twenty years did not get me married because he was in search of a pious and religious person and when he did get me married, then it was to someone like you who does not have trust in Allah as the Provider and makes arrangements for tomorrow from today".
The mendicant was surprised to hear this, and asked: "How can this error be forgiven". The bride said : "Either keep the piece of bread or keep me". The mendicant immediately gave the bread away as charity.
THE INCIDENT OF A WOMAN
In conclusion, an incident relating the consequences of an evil woman will be narrated. When girls get together they normally gossip, backbite, carry tales, express jealousy and sometimes even slander. They make mountains out of a mole-hill and begin doubting the slightest movements of their husbands and sometimes even accuse them. This is highly dangerous. Allah greatly dislikes the innocent being accused.
There was a woman in the time of Imam Malik (Rahmatullah Alaih) who used to give ghusl (bath) to deceased women. She bathed the body of a woman and while washing her private parts she thought to herself that this private part has committed adultery i.e. she accused her. Allah was greatly displeased. For others to learn a lesson, the woman's hand immediately adhered to the private part of the deceased woman. After great attempts it was still not freed. People tried all methods but eventually gave up hope and went to Imam Malik (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) who was the most learned person of that time. They narrated the incident to him. He said that the woman who was giving a bath must be lashed because she has slandered the deceased. Consequently when this was done, her hand was released. All men and women shuddered upon hearing this.
Sisters, do not think that accusing someone is different from accusing your husband jokingly. Nonetheless a false accusation is a major sin and the punishment for it is severe. Due to this doubt and accusation, mistrust is created. A minor incident can have such severe repercussions that many a marriage can be destroyed. If there is any doubt, great wisdom and tact must be used to rectify the situation.
May Allah make all women lead their lives according to His will. (Ameen)

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