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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Fathwa, - Her parents have poor relations with her spouse




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I am a American Muslim convert and have been married to a Muslim husband for 2 years. I became Muslim before marriage and although my parents were not unhappy about my conversion, they were confused with the changes it brought me. Despite this, I remained close to my family, and even talk to my Mother everyday day until a few months ago.
Since my parents met my husband, they have never had a very good relationship with him. I have always felt that they do not trust him. They think my husband changed me a lot and they don't understand why he doesn't open up to them and talk to them and feel as close to them as I am.
Recently my father got very angry with my husband because he felt that my husband was rude to my mother )he actually just didn't agree with her on something(. The problem is that he started physically and verbally attacking my husband. I was very scared because he did this in front of me and could have severely hurt my husband. I knew my father has a bad temper but this was extreme. He pushed and shoved and tried to nearly choke him. My husband told me I should not contact my family anymore. We are afraid that with contact the relationship will just get worse.
I haven't talked to my family for several months and although I am upset with their actions, I miss them. I'm not sure what to do. I miss my family, naturally because they are my family, and because I know that even if our parents mistreat us we must respect them. I am not sure what to do, Islamicly I need to listen to my husband, but I am afraid that by severing ties with my parents, who are getting older in age, that I will punished by Allah. What should I do?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
There is no doubt there are filial obligations upon children even if their parents are not Muslims. This, in fact, demonstrates the parents' right over their children. So, we advise the inquiring sister to reach an agreement with her husband concerning her obligation to visit her family, since failing to them may violate their rights for which she is accountable in Islam.
If your visit to your family will not produce harm in your religion and there is no legal justification to prevent you, then you have to do your best to convince your husband to allow you to visit your parents and treat them kindly, since this is your duty. If your husband refuses and persists that you have to obey him in such illegal action, then you are not obliged to obey him, since there should be no obedience to someone if such obedience constitutes disobedience to The Creator.
After all, we urge you to be kind and gentle with your parents, to return their offence in kind' to treat them mildly, and then, to overlook their wrong. This, Insha Allah, might constitute a good motive to make them embrace Islam.
Allah knows best.





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Family Issues, - Guidance for the Muslim Wife - Complete book. (Part 6)




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THE RIGHTS OF THE PARENTS
The parents have great rights. After obedience to the Creator of the Universe, it is compulsory to obey the parents. Allah Ta'ala has commanded that parents should always be obeyed. If both or one of them becomes old in your lifetime, do not (regarding them as weak) even say "oof" to them nor reproach them. Always speak gently to them.
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: "Allah's pleasure lies in the pleasure of the parents and the displeasure of Allah lies in displeasing the parents." In another hadeeth Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that kindness to parents is greater than optional salaah, charity, fasting, haj, umrah and jihaad in the path of Allah. He also said that the person who spends the morning in such a condition that his parents are pleased with him, then two doors of Jannat are opened for him, and if only one of them, the mother or the father is alive, then one door of heaven is opened.
If he spends the morning in such a condition that his parents are displeased with him, two doors of hell are opened and if only the mother or the father is displeased then one door of hell is opened. This command applies to all conditions, whether the parents are just and kind to him or they are unjust and oppressive. In the hadeeth Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam repeated this statement thrice: "Even if the parents oppress him."
The attention of the previous ummat was also drawn to the rights of the parents because it is related to the nature of man. Allah Ta'ala addressed Musa Alaihi Salaam saying: "O Musa! The Muslim who does good to his parents and disobeys Me, then repents, I will note him down as a thankful and good servant and whoever obeys Me and disobeys his parents and then repents I will still regard him as disobedient."
Always beware of the curse of the parents, because Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said : "A mother's dua for her children is very swiftly accepted". At another instance he said: "Serve the mother because heaven lies below her feet". In these type of ahadeeth great emphasis is laid on obedience and service to parents. The reason for this is that they bore great hardships for your sake. How many sleepless nights they spent for you. If you became slightly ill, how much attention they paid to you. When you were in any slight difficulty they were prepared to undergo a thousand difficulties to remove one difficulty of yours. Their condition is explained in this couplet:
"If you were roused a little they became afraid, when you had a little fear they were placed in difficulty".
For your comfort they did not for a moment regard day as day and night as night. How much of sorrow did they have to experience to keep you happy. A slight change in your face would change all their joy into grief. One falling tear from your eye would strike their hearts like lightning.
Just as the parents desire your physical comfort, similarly they desire your spiritual well-being as well. Besides giving you good clothing they also disciplined you with good character and a sound education. It is for this reason that you should read books which teach you nobility, discipline, sympathy and house-keeping etc. and you are prohibited from books containing false stories, legends and subject-matter that besmirches the character. They do all this so that your character is not affected because they realize that children are a trust from Allah who have not only been entrusted to them for up-bringing but also for education and discipline. If they are deficient in their training then it is as if they are disregarding an important compulsion of Allah Ta'ala and are breaching Allah's trust. On the day of Qiyamat they will have lowered heads in front of Allah due to regret. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that every one is responsible for his subjects and the parents are guardians of their children. On the day of judgment they will be questioned as to how they educated their children. In view of this, they disregard their comfort to accommodate your comfort and peace. They have made arrangements for the tuition of a pious tutor from whose company you can benefit so that you can be called a well-mannered girl and be an example of nobility and character, thereby achieving the honour and respect of this world and the hereafter. Sisters, should we not appreciate all the efforts of the parents? Should we not obey them and serve them?
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that the one who forgets the favour of a human being is also ungrateful to Allah. If we disobey our sympathetic and kind parents and do not appreciate them nor serve them, who can be more ungrateful than us. The worst sin is to disobey Allah Ta'ala. He has emphasized obedience to parents and thankfulness to them in several places in the Holy Quran. Here are some of the verses:
"Your creator has commanded you to worship none besides Him, and be helpful and favourable to your parents. If one of them becomes old in your presence, do not even say "oof" to them nor reproach them but say noble words to them. Be humble to them and continue making this dua for them: O my nourisher, have mercy on them just as they nurtured me in my childhood".
In this verse it has been clearly mentioned that the greatest right of Allah upon anyone is to worship none besides Him, that is, not to ascribe any partner to Him. Then the rights of the parents are explained. When a child is delivered from the mother's womb the parents nurture the child in all ways. Thus He has emphasized their obedience and gratitude. In another verse He states:
"We have commanded man to obey Me and be thankful to his parents as his mother bore burden upon burden and kept him in her womb and his weaning is after two years. Remember that you have to return to Me."
In this verse the rights of the mother are more than the father, because the difficulty of bearing the child has been predestined for the mother. Hence the favour of the mother and her gratitude is more than the father.
In another verse Allah Ta'ala has mentioned this in more detail:
"We have commanded man to be kind to his parents. His mother bore him with great difficulty and problems and the period of his stay in the womb and weaning is 30 months. O my Guardian, grant me the ability to thank You for this favour which You have bestowed upon me and my parents, and that I do such pious actions which please You and grant my children also this ability. I turn towards You in obedience".
In this verse also, the mother's rights have been mentioned as being greater. For so many months she carried him in her womb, walked about with him, underwent great difficulties, breast-fed him for 2 years and cared for him in every possible way. She sacrificed all her comforts for his peace and comfort. The father also shared in many of these difficulties and made all the requirements for up-bringing available. There is no doubt that these duties are done naturally but the requirement of nature is that the children perceive the love and compassion of the parents and be grateful for their efforts and sacrifices. This is a virtue in this world also and in the hereafter it has great merits.
On one occasion whilst climbing the pulpit, Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, while placing his foot on the first step "Aameen". Then he placed his foot on the next step and said "Aameen" and then he placed his foot on the third step and said "Aameen" . On completion of the sermon he stepped down. The Sahaba Radhiallahu Anhum asked: "O Rasulullah, today we have witnessed something new which we did not experience before". Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam remarked "Jibraeel Alaihi Salaam appeared in front of me. When I put my foot on the first step he said "Woe to that person who witnesses the month of Ramadan and yet is not successful". I said Aameen. On the second step he said "Destruction to the person in whose presence your name is mentioned and he does not send salutations upon you. I said Aameen. When I placed my foot on the third step he said : "Destruction to the person in whose presence both his parents or one of them become old and they cannot make him enter jannat. I said Aameen."
Can there be any limit to the misfortune of a person whom Jibreel curses and Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says Aameen?
It is mentioned in a hadith that from among the doors of jannat, the best door is the father. If you desire, safeguard it otherwise destroy it. A Sahabi asked what the rights of the parents are. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam replied: "They are your heaven or your hell i.e. earning their pleasure is a means of gaining jannah and earning their displeasure is a means of entry into hell."
My sisters! Whatever details have been mentioned regarding the parents will also guide you in your new home. Wherever you get married, there too you will have to practice according to these guidelines to be successful.




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Family Issues, - Guidance for the Muslim Wife - Complete book. (Part 5)




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ORGANISATION OF THE HOME
If the house is well-organized it will flourish even though the income is little and the poverty will not be apparent. If the house is not well organized, it will be full of misfortune and poverty, even if the inhabitants are wealthy. The most important factor is estimating the expenses and considering their occasions. There should be moderation in the expenses so that they do not exceed the income, nor should they be so minimal that it leads to miserliness. Allah Ta'ala has expressed contempt in the Holy Quran for those who are extravagant and those who are miserly. Love for wealth will make you hoard it and prevent you from spending it on your necessities. Spend according to your need. Do not desire what the wealthy possess. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: "In worldly matters look at the one lower than you, you will be satisfied, but in deeni matters look at those higher than you so that you can be encouraged to do pious acts." Keep everything in its proper place. Only keep those utensils outside which you require often. Keep the rest inside, only removing them when necessary. After the need is fulfilled return them to their places.




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Discover Islam, - Muslims: Pioneers of pharmacology




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Muslim pharmacy )Saydalah( as a profession and a separate entity from medicine was recognised by the beginning of the ninth century. This century not only saw the founding and increase in the number of privately owned pharmacy shops inBaghdadand its vicinity, but in other Muslim cities as well. Many of the pharmacists who managed them were skilled in the apothecary's art and quite knowledgeable in the compounding, storing, and preserving of drugs.
State-sponsored hospitals also had their own dispensaries attached to manufacturing laboratories where syrups, electuaries, ointments, and other pharmaceutical preparations were prepared on a relatively large scale. The pharmacists and their shops were periodically inspected by a government appointed official, 'Al-Muhtasib', and his aides. These officials were to check the accuracy in weights and measures as well as the purity of the drugs used. Such supervision was intended to prevent the use of deteriorating compounded drugs and syrups, and to safeguard the public.
This early rise and development of professional pharmacy in Islam - over four centuries before such development took place inEurope- was the result of three major occurrences: the great increase in the demand for drugs and their availability on the market, professional maturity, and the outgrowth of intellectual responsibility by qualified pharmacists.
The ninth century in Muslim lands witnessed the richest period thus far in literary productivity insofar as pharmacy and the healing arts were concerned. This prolific intellectual activity paved the way for still a greater harvest in the succeeding four centuries of both high and mediocre calibre authorship. For pharmacy, manuals on materia medica and for instructing the pharmacist concerning the work and management of his shop were circulating in increasing numbers. A few authors and their important works will be briefly discussed and evaluated.
Abu Hasan At-Tabari:
One of the contributors to Muslim Pharmacy was Abu Hasan 'Ali At-Tabari. He was born in 808. At about thirty years of age, he was summoned toSamarraby Caliph al-Mu'tasim )833-842(, where he served as a statesman and a physician. At-Tabari wrote several medical books, the most famous of which is his Paradise of Wisdom, completed in 850. It contains discussions on the nature of man, cosmology, embryology, temperaments, psychotherapy, hygiene, diet, and diseases - acute and chronic - and their treatment, medical anecdotes, and abstracts and quotations from Indian source material. In addition, the book contains several chapters on materia medica, cereals, diets, utilities and therapeutic uses of animal and bird organs, and of drugs and methods of their preparation.
At-Tabari urged that the therapeutic value of each drug be utilised in accordance with the particular case, and the practitioner should always choose the best of samples. He explained that the finest types of samples come from various places: black myrobalan comes fromKabul; clover dodder from Crete; aloes from Socotra; and aromatic spices fromIndia.
He was also precise in describing his therapeutics. He said, 'I have tried a very useful remedy for the swelling of the stomach; the juices of the liverwort )water hemp( and the absinthium after being boiled on fire and strained to be taken for several days. Also, powdered seeds of celery )marsh parsley( mixed with giant fennel made into troches and taken with a suitable liquid, release the wind in the stomach, joints and back )arthritis(.'
To strengthen the stomach and to insure good health he prescribed 'black myrobalan powdered in butter, mixed with dissolved plant sugar extracted from liquorice and this remedy should be taken daily.' For storage purposes he recommended glass or ceramic vessels for liquid )wet( drugs; special small jars for eye liquid salves; lead containers for fatty substances. For the treatment of ulcerated wounds, he prescribed an ointment made of juniper-gum, fat, butter, and pitch. In addition, he warned that one Mithqaal )about 4 grams( of opium or henbane causes sleep and also death.
The first medical formulary to be written in Arabic is Al-Aqrabadhin by Saboor bin Sahl, who died in 869 AH. In it, he gave medical recipes stating the methods and techniques of compounding these remedies, their pharmacological actions, the dosages given of each, and the means of administration. The formulas are organised in accordance with their types of preparations into which they fit, whether tablets, powders, ointments, electuaries or syrups. Each class of pharmaceutical preparation is represented along with a variety of recipes made in a specific form; they vary, however, in the ingredients used and their recommended uses and therapeutic effects. Many of these recipes and their pharmaceutical forms are remindful of similar formulas given in ancient documents from the Middle East and the Greco-Roman civilisations. What is unique is the organization of Saboor's formulary-type compendium purposely written as a guidebook for pharmacists, whether in their own private drugstores or in hospital pharmacies.
Hunayn bin Is'haaq:
He was an Arab scholar who died in 873 AH. His translations of Plato, Aristotle, Galen, Hippocrates, and the Neoplatonists made accessible to Arab philosophers and scientists the significant sources of Greek thought and culture.
Hunayn was a Nestorian Christian who studied medicine in Baghdad and became well versed in ancient Greek. He was appointed by Caliph Al-Mutawakkil to the post of chief physician to the court, a position that he held for the rest of his life. He travelled to Syria, Palestine, and Egypt to gather ancient Greek manuscripts. From his translators' school in Baghdad, he and his students transmitted Arabic and )more frequently( Syriac versions of the classical Greek texts throughout the Islamic world. Especially important are his translations of Galen, most of the original Greek manuscripts of which are lost.
Hunayn's book of the Ten Treatises on the Eye was completed in 860 AH. After finishing the ninth treatise, the author felt the need for a closing treatise to be devoted to compounded drugs for eye medication. He extracted some recipes from earlier treatises and added more prescriptions recommended by Greek authors.
As one obvious example of the uses and therapeutic values of using compounded drugs, Hunayn gave that of the theriac - the universal antidote against poisoning. Hunayn, who knew Greek, defined the Greek word theriac as an animal that bites or snaps. Since these antidotes were used against animal bites, the word eventually was applied to all antidotes, especially when snake flesh was incorporated.
Hunayn corrected the translation in Arabic of the major part of Dioscorides', Materia Medica, undertaken by his associate Istifaan bin Basil )about mid ninth century( in Baghdad. Due to the influence of this work, several books of materia medica were written in Arabic. Dioscorides definitely influenced the writing and direction of Sabur's formulary, which has been mentioned earlier.
Hunayn’s Herbal Treatise established the basis for Arabic pharmacology, therapy, and medical botany. It also provided a description of the physical properties of drugs, types, and means of testing their purity, and usefulness. As a result, Muslim pharmacology advanced beyond the Greco-Roman contribution. In turn, this helped and influenced a similar development in Europe through the Renaissance.



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