Family Issues, - I did haraam - now a pious man has proposed marriage..

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Question:
I formed an illicit relationship with a married man. He promised to marry me, but every time I asked him to hurry up, he gave various excuses and stayed away from me for a while, then he came back to fulfil his desire. But I have repented to Allaah and I am begging Allaah to accept my repentance. But I will never forgive him because I am a young Muslim woman and I fear Allaah but he caused me to do something haraam. Now a chaste and pious man has come to propose marriage to me, but I feel guilty. Should I accept or not?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. This is the result of free mixing and negligence with regard to the matter of forming haraam relationships between men and women. How often has this negligence led us into calamity, regret and sorrow which afflict the one who has lost her honour, then the wolf drops her beside the road because she is no longer suitable for his use; there is no way that he will trust her when she agreed to commit immoral actions with him and he is not prepared to get married at all, rather his goal is cheap pleasure and spending time with the poor, heedless woman.
Her family will be afflicted by the calamity of losing honour if her relationship becomes known, and every believer in whose heart is any modesty will feel sad when he hears of such stories. The entire society in which immorality and evil are widespread will also be affected.
Secondly:
We praise Allaah that you have repented from these evil actions, and we ask Him to accept your repentance and to forgive you, and to divert evil and immorality away from you. But what happened to you is a lesson to others. How often the scholars and daa’iyahs have warned of the fitnah that men face in women, and that women face in men, and have spoken of the importance of adhering to the sacred limits set by Allaah with regard to speaking, listening, looking, shaking hands and being alone with a member of the opposite sex, so that honour will be preserved and chastity maintained at a time when the advocates of immorality are taking such matters lightly and promoting them, and calling them liberation, civility and progress. The matter is as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allaah wishes to accept your repentance, but those who follow their lusts, wish that you (believers) should deviate tremendously away (from the Right Path)”
[al-Nisa’ 4:27].
It is important that you continue to repent and regret what you have done, and beseech Allaah a great deal and turn to Him, so that Allaah may forgive you and conceal your sin in this world and the next.
There is nothing wrong with you accepting marriage to this pious man who has come to propose marriage to you, so long as you have repented to Allaah from what you have done. You do not have to tell him anything about the past, rather it is not permissible for you to tell him. Conceal yourself with the concealment of Allaah, as the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid these filthy actions that Allaah has forbidden, and whoever commits any of them let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inal-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. 663.
Muslim (2590) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah does not conceal a person in this world but Allaah will also conceal him on the Day of Resurrection.”
This is glad tidings for the one who repents and is concealed by Allaah in this world: that Allaah will also conceal him in the Hereafter. What matters is that does not persist in the sin and does not take advantage of the forgiveness and forbearance of Allaah, for if Allaah willed, He could expose his sin, for Allaah gives respite but does not forget.
And Allaah knows best.

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Family Issues, - Has your home also become a ' Hotel ' ?

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The home of today has become very much like a hotel. Strangers stumble in and out at odd hours, each one doing his own little thing. "The family" has now almost become just a fond memory. "The family" having meals together is a rare occasion. Just sitting together and chatting is even more rare. Part of the blame can be apportioned to the fast, demanding pace of life in the modern and "advanced" world we are living in. The other part can be attributed to the lack of will and the apathy on the part of members of the family to get together more often. Every one seems quite happy with leading his/her "own life".
Parents have a responsibility to bind the family. Upbringing plays an important part on how close off-spring will be with their parents and among themselves in later life. If they have grown up comfortably in a cold, detached home environment, the "hotel-type" home, they can hardly be expected to take much interest in family affairs later on.
Parents need to spend time with their children daily - Quality Time. Quality time means a time of day or night when neither of them or their children are tired or occupied with other things. Try to fix a time daily so that a regular pattern can be set. Sit down as a family. Talk. Discuss. Ask children about school. How did the day go. What did they learn. What was exciting, etc. Tell them about your own work, your day. Children are good talkers. They get excited. They need to express themselves; their feelings and emotions. Give them this opportunity to talk. They need it. You will be surprised how much you do not know about your child's life.
Parents should never regard this daily get-together as a small or unimportant part of their lives. It is VITAL. This togetherness will convince your children that you are interested in them. This will motivate and encourage them to perform better in all what they do.
This daily get-together will also lead to the BONDING OF THE FAMILY, which is so important for the family and the children, especially. Today the family unit is slowly disintegrating all over the world. What is more sad is that it is even happening to Muslim homes and families.
A strongly-bonded family will produce a stable and strong child. Otherwise the child will suffer psychological disorders that become progressively worse. Such a child eventually becomes a lost cause; a liability to his/her family and to society at large. The implications for society in a neglected child are enormous. This is very sad and unfortunate for the neglected child. It is also dangerous for the future of the child. Such a child will easily be influenced by outsiders and alien influences, as s/he will not find fulfilment in the home. Such a child could end-up becoming a drug-addict or even a criminal. Parents may be in for a rude shock and could possibly realise the harm only after it is too late to really reverse the damage. May Allah save our children from such a day.
A good way to get going with the family-evening is to assist children with their school work. Get them to bring their school bag and books along. Look at their work, even if you do not understand much! Ask them a few questions about the work they have learnt; from their books. Help them along with their Islamic Studies as well. Listen keenly to their Qur'an recitation lesson. Ensure they have learnt all Islamic Studies lessons for the next day. Get them to complete other school work.
Finally, talk to them for a few minutes about good manners, good behaviour, the importance of discipline and hardwork. Narrate to them some interesting anecdote from which they could learn a lesson or moral. If possible read to them for a few minutes from a good Islamic book or Kitaab. All of this will go a very long way to developing your child into a highly successful adult.

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Family Issues, - Falling pregnant is a great bounty of Allah Ta'ala

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Once a woman has confirmed her pregnancy, she should express her gratitude before Allah Ta'ala as this is indeed a great bounty of Allah Ta'ala. This is such a boon that many people beseech Allah Ta'ala throughout their lives for pious children but Allah Ta'ala has destined otherwise. In fact one of the greatest Nabîes of Allah Ta'ala, Hadrat Ibrahim (Alayhis salaam) used to supplicate to Allah Ta'ala most profoundly and frequently. Even Hadrat Zakariyya (Alayhis salaam) used to supplicate for children most passionately and fervently during the latter part of his life.
Hence, a Muslim woman is required to express her gratitude unto Allah Ta'ala for this great bounty. Gratitude may be expressed in the following ways:
1. Recite the following Du’aa very frequently:
Allahummâ Lakal Hamdû Wa Lakash-Shukru
Translation: O Allah! All praises are due to You alone and I express my gratitude unto You alone (for granting me the honour of motherhood).
2. Allocate a fixed time for two Rak‘aat of Nafl Salaat. Whilst in Sajdah, make Du‘aa abundantly. Recite the following Du’aa as well:
Rabbi Hab Liy Min-Ladunka Zurriyatan-Tayyibah Innaka Sam‘iud-Du’aa
Translation: O my Lord! Bless me from your side with pure children. Verily You are all-hearing of the Du’aa.
3. Recite the following Du’aa as well:
Rabbi-j‘alniy Muqeema-Salaati wa min Zurriyatiy Rabbanaa wa Taqabbal Du’aa
Translation: O my Lord! Render me as well as my progeny as establishers of Salâh and accept our Du’aas.
4. Similarly, express your gratitude from the heart in such a manner that you stay happy and try to stay happy at all times. Try to forget all your past sorrows. Build your dreams and keep your hopes and spirits high. Ponder over the bounties of Jannat.
Instead of embroiling yourself in the daily disputes with the mother-in-law and sisters-in law and instead of involving yourself with the unbecoming behaviour of your husband, maintain strict silence. On the impending happiness of the birth of your child, maintain a friendly and trouble-free relationship with all. If you do tend to hurt anyone, apologise immediately and try to forget about the dispute. If you continue vexing others, the evil effects of this nature will fall on the unborn child as well. The conditions of the mother during pregnancy, in fact even her spirit and perceptions during this state has a profound effect on the unborn child.
Hence, a Muslim woman should express gratitude at all times especially during the period of her pregnancy. This gratitude should in turn develop in her the love of Allah Ta'ala. She should ponder that since Allah Ta'ala has blessed us with so many bounties, we should also devote ourselves to Him. To disobey such a majestic benefactor – by strutting about veil-less, watching television, videos, backbiting etc. – at any time and especially during pregnancy is not acceptable. Allah Ta'ala showers His bounties upon us and we in turn disobey Him!?
The first month of pregnancy
Remember that you are not a single entity now. Now a child is being nourished within your own body. With a bit of precaution on your part, this child may become healthy, intelligent, understanding, pious and religious. However, with your negligence and indifference, the child may turn out to be weak, sickly and incompetent.
Hence, your life should not be the same as it was before you fell pregnant. Every moment should be passed with caution and concern over the well-being of yourself as well your child. Therefore, pay careful attention to the following points:
1. Be careful with your diet. Chew your food thoroughly before swallowing. Avoid over-eating and abstain from food that can cause constipation.
2. Eat green, fresh vegetables, like salads, cucumbers etc. in abundance. Make sure that they are clean and washed before use.
3. Drink lots of sour-milk and milk. Drink as much milk as your digestive system can handle. Milk is a very blessed form of nutrition. After consuming other types of food, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) would utter:
Allahummâ At‘imnâ Khayran-Minhu
Translation: O Allah! Grant us food better than this (in Jannat).
However, milk is of such a blessed nature that there is no food better than milk since after drinking milk Rasûlullâh ? recited the following Du’aa:
Allahummâ Bârik Lanâ Fîhî wa Zidnâ Minhu
Translation: O Allah! Bless us in this and increase it for us.
In other words, whilst drinking milk, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not ask for something better (as he did in the case of other foods), because there is no better food than milk. This is why he beseeched Allah Ta'ala for Barkat (blessing) and increase in it.
In short, a pregnant woman should drink lots of milk because Allah Ta'ala has placed the vitamins and proteins required by the human body in milk.
If pure or raw milk is detrimental to you, consume it in other forms like Lassî (curds), sour-milk, custard, Khîr etc. This is beneficial to the mother as well as the child.
4. Abstain from tea, coffee, Pân (betel leaf), oil, Ghee, chillies and oily foods. Besides affecting the digestive system, these foods are detrimental to the muscles and nervous system of the mother and may also affect the child.
5. Ensure that you refrain from all types of medication during pregnancy especially pain-relievers. If you are really desperate, consult a reliable female (or male) doctor explaining your pregnancy and conditions to her. It should not be such that you are prescribed medication that is injurious to pregnant women. Some medication clearly states on the lable that it is not advisable for pregnant women. Hence, if you are really desperate to use some medication, make sure you scrutinize the lable and make thorough investigation before use.
6. In the first three months and the last month, in fact from the seventh month onwards, avoid sexual contact with your husband. This at times, adversely affects the mother and the child.
7. Avoid sleeping late. Try to get at least eight hours of peaceful sleep. This will ensure that your body and mind is well rested. This in turn is beneficial for the child as well and it may simplify delivery of the child.
8. Avoid excessively hard work and picking up very heavy objects as this may lead to a miscarriage. If your cruel mother-in-law or hard-hearted sister-in-law compels you to pick up heavy objects or forces you to carry out some difficult task, then excuse yourself very politely and explain to them that this task is beyond you and that you will pay a labourer to carry out this task.
However, if your cruel mother-in-law or hard-hearted sister-in-law fails to take pity on your condition, explain your helplessness to your husband and with his permission, go to your mother's house to rest. If you are a sister-in-law to another woman (your brother's wife), don’t be cruel to her as well. The moment she falls pregnant, try to make her comfortable and relaxed at all times. Your benevolence won’t be directed to your sister-in-law alone but you will be showing mercy to a sinless child, a priceless gem, a blossoming flower, the coolness of your brother’s eyes, a luminance of this worldly life and a source of perpetual reward for the hereafter. The degree of happiness and comfort of your sister-in-law or daughter-in-law will, Inshâ Allah Ta'ala, determine the well-being, health, robustness and happiness of the new arrival.

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Ahle sunnathwal Jamath, - Esaal e Sawaab

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To put simply, Esal e Sawab is nothing other than to ask Allah for the forgiveness of our sins, and to raise the spiritual status of the deceased. This may be achieved through various practices, such as the offering of du’as [supplications], to recite the Qur’an, to offer Qurbani [at Eid al Adha], and also, to perform a compulsory Hajj [fard] on the behalf of the deceased.
As this chapter will seek to demonstrate, Insh Allah, by using the Qur’an and the Sunnah as evidence, and by examining the fatwawa’s of the scholars of Islam, we shall indeed discover that this is not an innovative practice [bid’a], but something that has been practiced by Muslims throughout the centuries, and secondly, which is permissible.
Evidence from the Qur’an
Allah (Almighty.) has ordered the Muslims (believers) that you pray for your parents as follows:
O’ My Lord [Allah (Almighty.], have mercy on my parents like they have bought me up through my childhood.
(Surah Isra, Verse 24)
Allah (Almighty.) has praised those Muslims who ask for forgiveness of the deceased. They ask for forgiveness in the following manner:
O’ Allah (Almighty.) forgive us and forgive our Muslim brothers and sisters who have passed away.
(Surah Hashir, Verse 10)
The above mentioned verses demonstrate that if anyone prays on behalf of another person, the latter will receive the [spiritual] benefits - Allah Willing. This also demonstrates that if it was the wrong action Allah would not have ordered us to pray for other people, nor would He have stated that those who ask for forgiveness for the deceased, receive praises from Allah.
Evidence from the Sunnah
Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim write that:
A man came to the Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless Him and grant Him peace] and said ‘My mother has suddenly died and she did not leave any will, but I suspect that if she did that then she would have told me to give something to charity. Now if I offer something in charity on her behalf, will she get the reward?’Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless Him and grant Him peace] said ‘Yes’. Then the man said that I make you, the Prophet, as my witness, that I offer my garden full of fruits to charity.
(Bukhari Muslim, Chapter Al-Wasiha)
This hadith, as can be clearly read, proves that to offer a charity on behalf of the deceased will result in the deceased obtainig a benefit.
Imam Bukhari writes that:
Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless Him and grant Him peace] has said, The status of the deceased is raised(during their time in the grave), and the deceased ask Allah (Almighty.) why has this happened, Allah (Almighty.) replies that your son has prayed for your forgiveness. (Al-Adab, Al-Mufid Chapter Excellency of the Parents by Imam Bukhari)
From this particular hadith, it can be understood that not only charity, but the offering of prayers (making duas) and the giving of alms, will also benefit the deceased.
After providing evidence from the primary and secondary sources, we shall now move onto the evidences provided by some of the scholars on this topic.
Hafidhh Ibn Taymiyyah writes:
From the authentic Hadith, there is evidence pointing out that the deceased person will gain rewards from all the good deeds carried out on his/her behalf by others. Some people raise the objection that a person can only gain reward from their own actions, and refer to the Qur’an [for evidence]. This is not correct. Firstly, because a Muslim recieves the reward of those deeds that he /she has never done themselves [for example]: like Allah says in the Qur’an that the Angels of the Throne of Allah, glorify Allah and ask for forgiveness on behalf of all the Muslims. It is also evident from the Qur’an: [that] Allah (The Almighty) ordered Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless Him and grant Him peace] to pray for his Ummah, since his du’a is the peace of mind for the Ummah. In the same way the d’ua is offered in the funeral prayer, also when visiting the grave and offering d’ua for the deceased.
Secondly, we know that Allah (Almighty.) rewards us through the deeds of other people, which are carried out on our behalf. An example is where the Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] said “Whenever a Muslim prays for other Muslims, Allah (Almighty.) appoints an Angel to say Amin”, i.e., the angel asks Allah (Almighty.) for the acceptance of the prayer. Sometimes Allah (Almighty.) blesses the participants of the funeral prayer in response to the prayer from the deceased and vice versa.
(Mujmua Al-Fatawa vol:7, page 500 & vol:24, page 367) Published by Hafidhh Ibn-e-Taymiyyah in Saudi Arabia
Hafidhh Ibn Qayyam writes:-
“If a Muslim recites Qur’an, performs Hajj, offers du’a, gives in charity on the behalf of the deceased, then the deceased gets the benefits of it. Some innovators say that the deceased do not get any such reward, which is wrong according to the authentic Hadith. The proof is in the Qur’an that Allah (Almighty.) has praised those who ask for forgiveness for their Muslim brothers. Authentic Hadith proves that Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] replied to a question saying that to offer alms on behalf of a deceased person earns benefit. Some individuals suspect that the earlier Muslims did not do Esal-e-Sawab. This is because of their own ignorance or lack of knowledge. The earlier Muslims did not do these to show off. The Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] himself gave permission to offer Alms, so it is right to say that Esal-e-Sawab is right. The ayah in the Qur’an which states that only the own deeds are rewarded, means that he is righteous to get rewarded, which means that he is righteous to receive reward, but a present from someone else is also rewarded to the deceased by Allah (Almighty.).
(Kitab-ur-Rooh; by Hafidhh Ibn-ul-Qayyam Chapter 16)
Qadi Shawkani writes:
According to the Sunni faith, a deceased receives rewards from others praying, performing Hajj, offering Alms, but the “Mutazala” refuse to accept this. if it is wrong to offer these to the deceased, then Islam would not have allowed us to say “Salaam” (peace be to you) to the deceased when visiting or entering the graveyards. (Nal-Al-Autar, chapter: Janaiz by Qadi Shawkani).
These above references prove our argument for Esal-e-Swab and that the suspicion that people harbour in that it has no basis in either the Qur’an or the Sunnah, is not true.
Origins and Development
The origin of Esal-e-Swab is in the Qur’an but it is carried out in different manner in different communities. For example, to preach Islam to invite others to the Deen is proven but the methods are different for different situations. For example Islamic circles are held on Saturday’s or Sunday’s some but it is not mentioned in the Qur’an or Hadith that they should be held on these evenings. In the same way, the origin of Esal-e-Swab is in the Qur’an and Hadith and to call it an innovation is not right. Now we will discuss a few things concerning with Esal-e-Swab to which according to some people are, innovations
1) When a person dies, Muslims offer Alms, “Sadaqa”, on his behalf and pray in congregation. In these gatherings Islamic teachings are preached; This serves as a way to preach or spread Islam.Through these gatherings, the deceased receive benefit because Muslims pray for his/her fogiveness and others get knowledge of Islam. The poor get benefit from these Alms or charity. As you can see if you look at it from any angle, it is not an innovation.
2) Some people raise the question that a day should not be fixed for this, in that fixing such a day is “Haram” in Islam. The answer to this question is that “fixing a day” is Haram, Esal e sawaab will be haraam if it is said that outside of this day it will not be Esal-e-Sawab, (like Qurbani, Hajj and Salaah times are fixed), but Esal-e-Sawab on a fixed day is just for convenience of relatives and friends for “Du’a”. Like any Islamic conference, the date of it is fixed in advance. Alternatively, like Salaah “Jamat” time is unlike fixed. No one can become an innovator because of this. in the same way, to fix a day for “Du’a” for the deceased is not an innovation.
In Islam is it permissible for a person to fix a time, or date for voluntary (Nafal) prayer?
Imam Bukhari writes one day after the Fajar prayer, the Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] asked Bilal [May Allah bless him and grant him peace], tell me what good deeds you do because I heard your foot steps in Jannat. Bilal replied the only thing I do is after I make Wudu I pray Nafal how much Allah (Almighty.) wills me to do.
(Bukhari: Chapter of Salaah)
Hafidhh Asqalani writes in his commentary on this Hadith. We can understand from this Hadith that it is permissible for a person to fix a time for his/her voluntary prayer. (Fath-ul-Bari Book of Salaah)
There is a prayer (Du’a) said for the deceased for this we can fix a time that suits our self. We can give charity for them, keep fast for them and also we can get together and read Qur’an for them. For the people who get together and read Qur’an, we could be hospitible by providing for them by giving food and drink. This is all done with the intention of Sawab (blessings). For example, when Islamic circles are held, there are usually refreshments held after and this is carried out with the intention of blessings. This is one way of doing Esal-e-Sawab. There are many other ways of doing Esal-e-Sawab. One of them is urs.
URS
Urs, is done annually for a saint by his disciples (Mureeds). They hold this Urs in the mosque near the grave of the saint. They recite the Qur’an and various scholars give lectures on different topics of Islam. The audience are allowed to question the scholars on anything they wish. At the end a du’a is said and then hospitality is done for the people. The hospitality is solely done for the blessings.
Some people consider this an innovation (bidah) and regard it to be forbidden (haram). They object to this and ask questions such as “Why once a year?” The other objection they have towards this is that the Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] curses those who build mosques on the grave. Therefore, the objection they hold is that if a mosque is not allowed to be built on the graves, how can we hold a gathering such as urs there. The answer to the first question regarding “Why once a year?” is:
Imam Tabari, Hafidhh-Ibn-Kathir and Qurtabi write:
The Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] used to go to the graves of the martyrs of Uhd once a year and also recite the verse of the Holy Qur’an on excellence of patience. The Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] used to pray for them. When the beloved Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] passed away himself, the Khalifs, Abu-Bakr [May Allah bless him and grant him peace], Umar [May Allah bless him and grant him peace], Usman [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] and Ali [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] used to do the same thing.
[Tafsir Tabari, Tafsir Ibn-Kathir and Tafsir Qurtabi by Imam Tabari, Hafidhh Ibn-Kathir. Imam Qurtabi commentary of Surah Ra’d Verse 20.]
From all this we can conclude or understand that going to the grave of a saint once a year is permissible and is not an innovation (bidah). Also to lecture in a gathering is just another way of doing Dawah (work propagating Islam).
As for the answer to the second question. To build a mosque on the grave. The meaning of the Hadith is not to prostrate to the grave. There is proof in the Qur’an of building a mosque for saints near the grave.
Allah says in the Qur’an
They said, build over their cave any building. Their lord knows well about them. Those who prevailed in their affair said, we swear that we shall erect over them a mosque.
(Surah Al-Kahaf-V 21)
Imam Tabari, Hafidhh-Ibn-Kathir and Imam Qurtabi writes:
When the people of the cave went into the cave, some people said, who were close to the entrance of the cave, build a mosque so we can worship Allah (THE ALMIGHTY) The people who said this were Muslims.
[Tafsir Tabari, Tafsir Ibn-Kathir Surah Kahf Verse 21]
Therefore, from this we can prove that building a mosque near the grave of a pious person is permissible.
Hafidhh Asqalani writes:
If a person built a mosque near the graves of pious people, and that person’s intention is solely for the blessings of Allah (Almighty.), and at the time of prayer, not to prostrate or face the grave, it is permissable to build a mosque near the grave of a saint and is not forbidden.
[Fath-ul-Bari, Chapter of Masajid]
From the above we can understand the true meaning of the Hadith which points out not to prostrate to the graves. It does not mean not to build a mosque near the graves. It basically means not to face the graves whilst praying.
Imam Tabari and Hafidhh-Ibn-Kathir write, in the 88th year of Hijra, the room of Aisha [May Allah bless Her and Grant Her peace] where there are graves of the Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] Abu-Bakr [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] and Umar [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] were joined to the mosque of the Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace]. (Tareeh Tabari and Tareeh Hafidhh Ibn-Kathir, Chapter of Government (Valid-Ibn-Abdul-Malik by Imam Tabari and Hafidhh Ibn-Kathir)
At the time of this, some companions and students (Tabeen) were alive and since then, no one has objected to this, which means it is allowed to have a mosque near the grave.
Some people assert that it is not allowed to visit the grave with that the intention that someone wants to see the grave. We ahle sunnah say that it is right to go and visit the grave with the intention that you are going to see the grave. The evidence is as follows.
Qadi Shawkani writes that:
After the Prophet’s (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) death, Bilal settled in Syria. He had a dream where he saw the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) and the Prophet said what kind of friend are you that you do not come and visit my grave? The next morning, Bilal made a journey to Madina to see the Prophet’s (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) grave. At that time the companions were alive and they did not object to this. This narration is authentic.
[Nal lul Autar chap on Hajj by Qadi Shawkani].
Vows
Some people make false accusation, that Ahl-us-Sunnah wa’l Jama in making vows to pious people (Anbiyaa and Awliyaa), but the Ahl-us-Sunnah make vows only for Allah and no one else. Vow is worship. We believe that if someone worships something other than Allah he is a Mushrik, and a Kafir, that is, a non-believer.
Then the following question is raised: What is the meaning when the Ahl-us-Sunnah Jamaat go to the graves of the pious and make Vows to them?
When the Ahl-Sunnah-wa’l Jama makes Vows like this to Allah they do it in the following manner. ‘O Allah, if You make our sick people better, we will feed ten poor people, and the Sawaab (Deeds) from it we will give to so and so pious person’. Sometimes the person makes a Vow to Allah and then slaughters a sheep and gives the meat to the poor and then makes Du’a that the Sawaab from this goes to pious people who have passed away.
Some people say that this is Kufr and Shirk.
Muhammad Bin Abdul Wahhab Najdi wrote:
'Vows is Kufr for the pious'.(Kashf-al-Shubhat Chapter on Vows by Shaykh Najdi)
He did not differentiate the Vows of worship and the Vows of gift. The Vows of the pious mean the gift of Sawaab (Deeds) not Vows of worship that can only be for Allah.
Imam Ahmad Rad’a writes:
When we slaughter an animal for Aqiqah, the slaughtering of the animal is for Allah and the meat is for the people. Or when we have visitors we slaughter the lamb, cow, chicken, etc. We do it not for worship but for the hospitality of the visitors. So in the same way when a person goes to the pious graves or slaughter an animal, the intention is for the meat to be given to the poor and the Sawaab to go to the pious grave. We cannot think that any Muslim can make Vows as worship for any pious person or slaughter animals to respect and worship of the pious. But if somebody does it with the intention of worship there is no doubt that he is a non -Muslim.
[Fatawa Radhaviyyaa, by Moulana Ahmad Raza Khan Rahmatullah, Fatawa Shaami, Fatawa Aalam Ghiri, chapter of Vows]
Some people have raised the question that is it Bid’ah to read the Qur’an and say Du’a on food during an Esal-e-Sawaab gathering.
There are certain aspects to the above question. Firstly we believe that the food is not part of the Esal-e-Sawaab gathering. Imam Ahmad Raza Qaadri writes:
If someone puts food before an Esal-e-Sawaab meeting and he has the intention of reading Qur’an and du’a on it, then this is allowed. If someone states that the deceased cannot get sawaab because there is no food in the Esal-e-Sawaab then they are wrong. (Fatawa Radawiyah Chapter on Janaza)
Secondly, we cannot say that having food before the Esal-e-Sawaab gathering is bid’ah, as Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] put food, milk and water in front of him, and then he did du’a and read something on the food.
Hafidhh Ibn-Kathir writes :
One day Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] was invited to someone’s house. Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] accepted the invitation and he bought a lot of companions with him to the house. There was a very short amount of food for the people. The Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] said to bring the food out. Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] read whatever Allah wanted on the food and du’a was also done on the food and the food was given to the people. After the people had eaten the food, there was still the same amount of food left as it was before the people started to eat.
(Tareekh Ibn Kathir & Siraat un Nabi Chapter of Mujizat)
From this narration it proves that to do Du’a on food is not an Innovation but it is Sunnah and is only done for the purpose of Barakah [blessing] and so the food does not be short.
The meaning of Esal-e-Sawaab gatherings is to spread Islam and teach Islam and to offer food to the people who join the gathering is not bid’ah.
(Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Surah Al-Shuara, under verse 214)
Hafidhh-Ibn-Kathir writes:
When Allah Almighty revealed this verse of the Qur’an which states ‘ O Beloved, warn your nearest Kinsmen’, the Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] said to Ali ‘O Ali, sacrifice a goat and cook that meat and bring milk and fruit with the cooked to my house for a party’. At the party, Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] said ‘I am a Prophet of Allah, I have been sent to guide you to the right path, so become a Muslim’. When the family heard this, they started to laugh and they left the house. This happened for three days continuously.
[Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Surah Al-Shuara, under verse 214]
From the above references it is clear that, to prepare food for blessings is allowed and to hold the gatherings for the spread and teaching of Islam and to invite people to eat the blessed food is not bid’ah.
In our times especially in the western countries, Muslims have become very lazy and they do not attend the Mosque to perform Salaah. Therefore, it is good to organise a gathering and to prepare food for the gathering and to invite Muslims and offer them food and to teach about Islam and their duties. The people who carry out this job are the praiseable people because they are spending their money and time in Allah Almighty’s way. Their intention is to please Allah Almighty and it is very surprising that people say that this is bid’ah and you will get bad deeds if you do this and this is a waste of money. We pray for all the Muslims who have passed away for their forgiveness and we also pray for those people who organise different kinds of gatherings to guide and remind Muslims for their duties and we also pray to Allah Almighty that may He accept and reward this work. (Amin)
Imam Tabari and Hafidhh-Ibn-Kathir write, in the 88th year of Hijra, the room of Aisha [May Allah bless Her and Grant Her peace] where there are graves of the Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] Abu-Bakr [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] and Umar [May Allah bless him and grant him peace] were joined to the mosque of the Prophet Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant him peace]. (Tareeh Tabari and Tareeh Hafidhh Ibn-Kathir, Chapter of Government (Valid-Ibn-Abdul-Malik by Imam Tabari and Hafidhh Ibn-Kathir)
At the time of this, some companions and students (Tabeen) were alive and since then, no one has objected to this, which means it is allowed to have a mosque near the grave.
Some people assert that it is not allowed to visit the grave with that the intention that someone wants to see the grave. We ahle sunnah say that it is right to go and visit the grave with the intention that you are going to see the grave. The evidence is as follows.
Qadi Shawkani writes that:
After the Prophet’s (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) death, Bilal settled in Syria. He had a dream where he saw the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) and the Prophet said what kind of friend are you that you do not come and visit my grave? The next morning, Bilal made a journey to Madina to see the Prophet’s (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) grave. At that time the companions were alive and they did not object to this. This narration is authentic.
[Nal lul Autar chap on Hajj by Qadi Shawkani].
Vows
Some people make false accusation, that Ahl-us-Sunnah wa’l Jama in making vows to pious people (Anbiyaa and Awliyaa), but the Ahl-us-Sunnah make vows only for Allah and no one else. Vow is worship. We believe that if someone worships something other than Allah he is a Mushrik, and a Kafir, that is, a non-believer.
Then the following question is raised: What is the meaning when the Ahl-us-Sunnah Jamaat go to the graves of the pious and make Vows to them?
When the Ahl-Sunnah-wa’l Jama makes Vows like this to Allah they do it in the following manner. ‘O Allah, if You make our sick people better, we will feed ten poor people, and the Sawaab (Deeds) from it we will give to so and so pious person’. Sometimes the person makes a Vow to Allah and then slaughters a sheep and gives the meat to the poor and then makes Du’a that the Sawaab from this goes to pious people who have passed away.
Some people say that this is Kufr and Shirk.
Muhammad Bin Abdul Wahhab Najdi wrote:
'Vows is Kufr for the pious'.(Kashf-al-Shubhat Chapter on Vows by Shaykh Najdi)
He did not differentiate the Vows of worship and the Vows of gift. The Vows of the pious mean the gift of Sawaab (Deeds) not Vows of worship that can only be for Allah.
Imam Ahmad Rad’a writes:
When we slaughter an animal for Aqiqah, the slaughtering of the animal is for Allah and the meat is for the people. Or when we have visitors we slaughter the lamb, cow, chicken, etc. We do it not for worship but for the hospitality of the visitors. So in the same way when a person goes to the pious graves or slaughter an animal, the intention is for the meat to be given to the poor and the Sawaab to go to the pious grave. We cannot think that any Muslim can make Vows as worship for any pious person or slaughter animals to respect and worship of the pious. But if somebody does it with the intention of worship there is no doubt that he is a non -Muslim.
[Fatawa Radhaviyyaa, by Moulana Ahmad Raza Khan Rahmatullah, Fatawa Shaami, Fatawa Aalam Ghiri, chapter of Vows]
Some people have raised the question that is it Bid’ah to read the Qur’an and say Du’a on food during an Esal-e-Sawaab gathering.
There are certain aspects to the above question. Firstly we believe that the food is not part of the Esal-e-Sawaab gathering. Imam Ahmad Raza Qaadri writes:
If someone puts food before an Esal-e-Sawaab meeting and he has the intention of reading Qur’an and du’a on it, then this is allowed. If someone states that the deceased cannot get sawaab because there is no food in the Esal-e-Sawaab then they are wrong. (Fatawa Radawiyah Chapter on Janaza)
Secondly, we cannot say that having food before the Esal-e-Sawaab gathering is bid’ah, as Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] put food, milk and water in front of him, and then he did du’a and read something on the food.
Hafidhh Ibn-Kathir writes :
One day Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] was invited to someone’s house. Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] accepted the invitation and he bought a lot of companions with him to the house. There was a very short amount of food for the people. The Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] said to bring the food out. Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] read whatever Allah wanted on the food and du’a was also done on the food and the food was given to the people. After the people had eaten the food, there was still the same amount of food left as it was before the people started to eat.
(Tareekh Ibn Kathir & Siraat un Nabi Chapter of Mujizat)
From this narration it proves that to do Du’a on food is not an Innovation but it is Sunnah and is only done for the purpose of Barakah [blessing] and so the food does not be short.
The meaning of Esal-e-Sawaab gatherings is to spread Islam and teach Islam and to offer food to the people who join the gathering is not bid’ah.
(Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Surah Al-Shuara, under verse 214)
Hafidhh-Ibn-Kathir writes:
When Allah Almighty revealed this verse of the Qur’an which states ‘ O Beloved, warn your nearest Kinsmen’, the Prophet [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] said to Ali ‘O Ali, sacrifice a goat and cook that meat and bring milk and fruit with the cooked to my house for a party’. At the party, Muhammad [May Allah bless him and grant Him peace] said ‘I am a Prophet of Allah, I have been sent to guide you to the right path, so become a Muslim’. When the family heard this, they started to laugh and they left the house. This happened for three days continuously.
[Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Surah Al-Shuara, under verse 214]
From the above references it is clear that, to prepare food for blessings is allowed and to hold the gatherings for the spread and teaching of Islam and to invite people to eat the blessed food is not bid’ah.
In our times especially in the western countries, Muslims have become very lazy and they do not attend the Mosque to perform Salaah. Therefore, it is good to organise a gathering and to prepare food for the gathering and to invite Muslims and offer them food and to teach about Islam and their duties. The people who carry out this job are the praiseable people because they are spending their money and time in Allah Almighty’s way. Their intention is to please Allah Almighty and it is very surprising that people say that this is bid’ah and you will get bad deeds if you do this and this is a waste of money. We pray for all the Muslims who have passed away for their forgiveness and we also pray for those people who organise different kinds of gatherings to guide and remind Muslims for their duties and we also pray to Allah Almighty that may He accept and reward this work. (Amin)

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