For children, - Sincerity (Ikhlas) in Islam: Shaitan and the Pious Worshipper(Sincere Worship and Faith)

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In the tribe of Bani Israel, there once lived a pious worshipper. One day, the people informed him that at a certain location, there existed a tree that was being worshipped by a tribe. When he heard this, the man flew into a rage, picked up his axe and set out to cut down the tree.
Shaitan, appearing before him in the form of an old man, asked, "Where are you headed for?" Pious worshipper replied, "I intend to cut down the tree, which is being worshipped so that the people worship Allah (SWT) instead."
"Hold yourself till you hear what I have to say," said Shaitan to him.
The pious worshipper urged him to carry on. Shaitan continued, "Allah (SWT) has His own Prophets and if it had been essential to cut down the tree, He would have sent them to perform the task."
However, the pious worshipper did not agree with Shaitan and continued on his way.
"There is no way I shall let you do it," said Shaitan angrily, and he began to wrestle with the pious worshipper. In the ensuing contest, the pious worshipper hurled Shaitan onto the ground.
"Wait! I have something else to say to you", pleaded Shaitan.
"Listen! You are a poor man. If you could possess some wealth by means of which you could give alms to the other worshippers it would be much better than cutting the tree. If you refrain from cutting the tree, I shall place two dinars beneath your pillow everyday."
The pious worshipper said thoughtfully, "If you speak the truth, I shall give one dinar in charity while the other dinar I shall put to my use. This is better than cutting down the tree; in any case, I have neither been ordered to perform this task nor am I a Prophet to burden myself with unnecessary grief and anxiety."
Thus, pious worshipper acceded to the request of Shaitan who left him alone. For two days, he received the two dinars and utilized them, but on the third day, there was no sign of the dinars. Upset and distressed, he picked up his axe and set out to cut down the tree.
On the way, pious worshipper encountered Shaitan, who asked him: "Where are you headed for?"
"I am going to cut that tree." Replied pious worshipper
"There is no way you are going to do it," said Shaitan
Once again they began to contest, but this time Shaitan overcame him and hurling him to the ground, ordered, "Turn back or I shall sever your head from your body."
The pious worshipper said, "Leave me alone and I shall return, but tell me, how was it that I had managed to overcome you on the previous occasion?"
Shaitan answered, "On that occasion, you had set out only for Allah (SWT) and you were sincere in your intention as a result of which, Allah (SWT) subjugated me for you, but this time you were angry for your own self and for your dinars and so I could overpower you."
He (the Shaitan) said, 'By Your Glory, I shall seduce all of them (children of Adam) except Your sincere servants among them'. Noble Qur'an (38:82-3)
Lesson to learn from this Real Life Story, Sincere Worship and Faith:
Before any action we take, we must be clear in our minds that the action is in accordance with the commands of Allah (SWT). This can be done by constant thinking and true understanding of the aim of our life. We have to understand what Allah (SWT) really wants from us.
Say. Surely my prayer and my sacrifice and my life and my death are (all) for Allah, the Lord of the worlds. Noble Qur'an (6:162)

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Family Issues, - I did haraam - now a pious man has proposed marriage..

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Question:
I formed an illicit relationship with a married man. He promised to marry me, but every time I asked him to hurry up, he gave various excuses and stayed away from me for a while, then he came back to fulfil his desire. But I have repented to Allaah and I am begging Allaah to accept my repentance. But I will never forgive him because I am a young Muslim woman and I fear Allaah but he caused me to do something haraam. Now a chaste and pious man has come to propose marriage to me, but I feel guilty. Should I accept or not?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. This is the result of free mixing and negligence with regard to the matter of forming haraam relationships between men and women. How often has this negligence led us into calamity, regret and sorrow which afflict the one who has lost her honour, then the wolf drops her beside the road because she is no longer suitable for his use; there is no way that he will trust her when she agreed to commit immoral actions with him and he is not prepared to get married at all, rather his goal is cheap pleasure and spending time with the poor, heedless woman.
Her family will be afflicted by the calamity of losing honour if her relationship becomes known, and every believer in whose heart is any modesty will feel sad when he hears of such stories. The entire society in which immorality and evil are widespread will also be affected.
Secondly:
We praise Allaah that you have repented from these evil actions, and we ask Him to accept your repentance and to forgive you, and to divert evil and immorality away from you. But what happened to you is a lesson to others. How often the scholars and daa’iyahs have warned of the fitnah that men face in women, and that women face in men, and have spoken of the importance of adhering to the sacred limits set by Allaah with regard to speaking, listening, looking, shaking hands and being alone with a member of the opposite sex, so that honour will be preserved and chastity maintained at a time when the advocates of immorality are taking such matters lightly and promoting them, and calling them liberation, civility and progress. The matter is as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allaah wishes to accept your repentance, but those who follow their lusts, wish that you (believers) should deviate tremendously away (from the Right Path)”
[al-Nisa’ 4:27].
It is important that you continue to repent and regret what you have done, and beseech Allaah a great deal and turn to Him, so that Allaah may forgive you and conceal your sin in this world and the next.
There is nothing wrong with you accepting marriage to this pious man who has come to propose marriage to you, so long as you have repented to Allaah from what you have done. You do not have to tell him anything about the past, rather it is not permissible for you to tell him. Conceal yourself with the concealment of Allaah, as the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid these filthy actions that Allaah has forbidden, and whoever commits any of them let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inal-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. 663.
Muslim (2590) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah does not conceal a person in this world but Allaah will also conceal him on the Day of Resurrection.”
This is glad tidings for the one who repents and is concealed by Allaah in this world: that Allaah will also conceal him in the Hereafter. What matters is that does not persist in the sin and does not take advantage of the forgiveness and forbearance of Allaah, for if Allaah willed, He could expose his sin, for Allaah gives respite but does not forget.
And Allaah knows best.

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Family Issues, - Has your home also become a ' Hotel ' ?

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The home of today has become very much like a hotel. Strangers stumble in and out at odd hours, each one doing his own little thing. "The family" has now almost become just a fond memory. "The family" having meals together is a rare occasion. Just sitting together and chatting is even more rare. Part of the blame can be apportioned to the fast, demanding pace of life in the modern and "advanced" world we are living in. The other part can be attributed to the lack of will and the apathy on the part of members of the family to get together more often. Every one seems quite happy with leading his/her "own life".
Parents have a responsibility to bind the family. Upbringing plays an important part on how close off-spring will be with their parents and among themselves in later life. If they have grown up comfortably in a cold, detached home environment, the "hotel-type" home, they can hardly be expected to take much interest in family affairs later on.
Parents need to spend time with their children daily - Quality Time. Quality time means a time of day or night when neither of them or their children are tired or occupied with other things. Try to fix a time daily so that a regular pattern can be set. Sit down as a family. Talk. Discuss. Ask children about school. How did the day go. What did they learn. What was exciting, etc. Tell them about your own work, your day. Children are good talkers. They get excited. They need to express themselves; their feelings and emotions. Give them this opportunity to talk. They need it. You will be surprised how much you do not know about your child's life.
Parents should never regard this daily get-together as a small or unimportant part of their lives. It is VITAL. This togetherness will convince your children that you are interested in them. This will motivate and encourage them to perform better in all what they do.
This daily get-together will also lead to the BONDING OF THE FAMILY, which is so important for the family and the children, especially. Today the family unit is slowly disintegrating all over the world. What is more sad is that it is even happening to Muslim homes and families.
A strongly-bonded family will produce a stable and strong child. Otherwise the child will suffer psychological disorders that become progressively worse. Such a child eventually becomes a lost cause; a liability to his/her family and to society at large. The implications for society in a neglected child are enormous. This is very sad and unfortunate for the neglected child. It is also dangerous for the future of the child. Such a child will easily be influenced by outsiders and alien influences, as s/he will not find fulfilment in the home. Such a child could end-up becoming a drug-addict or even a criminal. Parents may be in for a rude shock and could possibly realise the harm only after it is too late to really reverse the damage. May Allah save our children from such a day.
A good way to get going with the family-evening is to assist children with their school work. Get them to bring their school bag and books along. Look at their work, even if you do not understand much! Ask them a few questions about the work they have learnt; from their books. Help them along with their Islamic Studies as well. Listen keenly to their Qur'an recitation lesson. Ensure they have learnt all Islamic Studies lessons for the next day. Get them to complete other school work.
Finally, talk to them for a few minutes about good manners, good behaviour, the importance of discipline and hardwork. Narrate to them some interesting anecdote from which they could learn a lesson or moral. If possible read to them for a few minutes from a good Islamic book or Kitaab. All of this will go a very long way to developing your child into a highly successful adult.

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Family Issues, - Falling pregnant is a great bounty of Allah Ta'ala

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Once a woman has confirmed her pregnancy, she should express her gratitude before Allah Ta'ala as this is indeed a great bounty of Allah Ta'ala. This is such a boon that many people beseech Allah Ta'ala throughout their lives for pious children but Allah Ta'ala has destined otherwise. In fact one of the greatest Nabîes of Allah Ta'ala, Hadrat Ibrahim (Alayhis salaam) used to supplicate to Allah Ta'ala most profoundly and frequently. Even Hadrat Zakariyya (Alayhis salaam) used to supplicate for children most passionately and fervently during the latter part of his life.
Hence, a Muslim woman is required to express her gratitude unto Allah Ta'ala for this great bounty. Gratitude may be expressed in the following ways:
1. Recite the following Du’aa very frequently:
Allahummâ Lakal Hamdû Wa Lakash-Shukru
Translation: O Allah! All praises are due to You alone and I express my gratitude unto You alone (for granting me the honour of motherhood).
2. Allocate a fixed time for two Rak‘aat of Nafl Salaat. Whilst in Sajdah, make Du‘aa abundantly. Recite the following Du’aa as well:
Rabbi Hab Liy Min-Ladunka Zurriyatan-Tayyibah Innaka Sam‘iud-Du’aa
Translation: O my Lord! Bless me from your side with pure children. Verily You are all-hearing of the Du’aa.
3. Recite the following Du’aa as well:
Rabbi-j‘alniy Muqeema-Salaati wa min Zurriyatiy Rabbanaa wa Taqabbal Du’aa
Translation: O my Lord! Render me as well as my progeny as establishers of Salâh and accept our Du’aas.
4. Similarly, express your gratitude from the heart in such a manner that you stay happy and try to stay happy at all times. Try to forget all your past sorrows. Build your dreams and keep your hopes and spirits high. Ponder over the bounties of Jannat.
Instead of embroiling yourself in the daily disputes with the mother-in-law and sisters-in law and instead of involving yourself with the unbecoming behaviour of your husband, maintain strict silence. On the impending happiness of the birth of your child, maintain a friendly and trouble-free relationship with all. If you do tend to hurt anyone, apologise immediately and try to forget about the dispute. If you continue vexing others, the evil effects of this nature will fall on the unborn child as well. The conditions of the mother during pregnancy, in fact even her spirit and perceptions during this state has a profound effect on the unborn child.
Hence, a Muslim woman should express gratitude at all times especially during the period of her pregnancy. This gratitude should in turn develop in her the love of Allah Ta'ala. She should ponder that since Allah Ta'ala has blessed us with so many bounties, we should also devote ourselves to Him. To disobey such a majestic benefactor – by strutting about veil-less, watching television, videos, backbiting etc. – at any time and especially during pregnancy is not acceptable. Allah Ta'ala showers His bounties upon us and we in turn disobey Him!?
The first month of pregnancy
Remember that you are not a single entity now. Now a child is being nourished within your own body. With a bit of precaution on your part, this child may become healthy, intelligent, understanding, pious and religious. However, with your negligence and indifference, the child may turn out to be weak, sickly and incompetent.
Hence, your life should not be the same as it was before you fell pregnant. Every moment should be passed with caution and concern over the well-being of yourself as well your child. Therefore, pay careful attention to the following points:
1. Be careful with your diet. Chew your food thoroughly before swallowing. Avoid over-eating and abstain from food that can cause constipation.
2. Eat green, fresh vegetables, like salads, cucumbers etc. in abundance. Make sure that they are clean and washed before use.
3. Drink lots of sour-milk and milk. Drink as much milk as your digestive system can handle. Milk is a very blessed form of nutrition. After consuming other types of food, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) would utter:
Allahummâ At‘imnâ Khayran-Minhu
Translation: O Allah! Grant us food better than this (in Jannat).
However, milk is of such a blessed nature that there is no food better than milk since after drinking milk Rasûlullâh ? recited the following Du’aa:
Allahummâ Bârik Lanâ Fîhî wa Zidnâ Minhu
Translation: O Allah! Bless us in this and increase it for us.
In other words, whilst drinking milk, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not ask for something better (as he did in the case of other foods), because there is no better food than milk. This is why he beseeched Allah Ta'ala for Barkat (blessing) and increase in it.
In short, a pregnant woman should drink lots of milk because Allah Ta'ala has placed the vitamins and proteins required by the human body in milk.
If pure or raw milk is detrimental to you, consume it in other forms like Lassî (curds), sour-milk, custard, Khîr etc. This is beneficial to the mother as well as the child.
4. Abstain from tea, coffee, Pân (betel leaf), oil, Ghee, chillies and oily foods. Besides affecting the digestive system, these foods are detrimental to the muscles and nervous system of the mother and may also affect the child.
5. Ensure that you refrain from all types of medication during pregnancy especially pain-relievers. If you are really desperate, consult a reliable female (or male) doctor explaining your pregnancy and conditions to her. It should not be such that you are prescribed medication that is injurious to pregnant women. Some medication clearly states on the lable that it is not advisable for pregnant women. Hence, if you are really desperate to use some medication, make sure you scrutinize the lable and make thorough investigation before use.
6. In the first three months and the last month, in fact from the seventh month onwards, avoid sexual contact with your husband. This at times, adversely affects the mother and the child.
7. Avoid sleeping late. Try to get at least eight hours of peaceful sleep. This will ensure that your body and mind is well rested. This in turn is beneficial for the child as well and it may simplify delivery of the child.
8. Avoid excessively hard work and picking up very heavy objects as this may lead to a miscarriage. If your cruel mother-in-law or hard-hearted sister-in-law compels you to pick up heavy objects or forces you to carry out some difficult task, then excuse yourself very politely and explain to them that this task is beyond you and that you will pay a labourer to carry out this task.
However, if your cruel mother-in-law or hard-hearted sister-in-law fails to take pity on your condition, explain your helplessness to your husband and with his permission, go to your mother's house to rest. If you are a sister-in-law to another woman (your brother's wife), don’t be cruel to her as well. The moment she falls pregnant, try to make her comfortable and relaxed at all times. Your benevolence won’t be directed to your sister-in-law alone but you will be showing mercy to a sinless child, a priceless gem, a blossoming flower, the coolness of your brother’s eyes, a luminance of this worldly life and a source of perpetual reward for the hereafter. The degree of happiness and comfort of your sister-in-law or daughter-in-law will, Inshâ Allah Ta'ala, determine the well-being, health, robustness and happiness of the new arrival.

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