Fathwa, - Distrust between spouses

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Salam, my husband cheated on me a few months ago. I am trying so hard to forgive and move on with our lives. I have been married for 5 years now and we have to kids. 1 and 3yrs. Ever since I found out that he cheated on me I am being so skeptical about most things for, eg if he,s at work, check the phone bill. He has locked his I-PAD for months now and I requested to him why he is locking his IPAD, he said just incase if it gets lost all personal info are there, eg bank etc. I said ok then, can you share the password with me? He said why do I need it? I told him ever since I found out he cheated on me I have been insecure and I don,t trust him at this point, sometime in the future I will. I told him he needs to earn back my trust. He asked me if he shares the password with me if that will solve the issues we currently are having? I told him NO, but unlocking or sharing your password with me will clear that doubt in my mind that I currently has. He said to me I either have 2 choices, 1-either I accept that he is not chaeting or lying to me and will not share his password or 2- divorce him. I think he is being very selfish and only thinks about himself. Yes, he has apologised for cheating on me and he said he takes full responsibility for but that doesn,t change the fact he hurt me, betrayed me and now he started curses at me. At this point we are just fighting and saying things to each other. I don,t know what to do at this point. Our parents knew he what he did and everyone thinks that everything is ok when its not. I cannot live a life accepting that its ok my husband. I need your help!!!!
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
You did not clarify to us what you mean by your husband cheating you, as some people may mean by this the marriage of a husband with a second wife, although there is nothing wrong Islamically with this. This term can also be used for a husband establishing an affectionate relationship with a non-Mahram )marriageable( woman, and this is forbidden as we clarified in Fatwa 81356.
Therefore, if what you meant is your husband establishing a forbidden relationship, and you are certain that he did this, then you should advise him in a soft and gentle manner and remind him of Allaah The Almighty as he might repent. If we presume that he persists in doing so and you are harmed by staying with him, then it becomes permissible for you to ask him for divorce or Khul’ )divorce initiated by a woman(. However, you should not hasten to do so as the preponderant ]greater[ benefit could be in being patient with him and trying to rectify him.
Of course, this is if you are sure that he did this. However, if you are just suspecting this, then this is forbidden. In principle, a Muslim is innocent and it is not permissible to spy on him or investigate about his matters; Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(: }O you who have believed, avoid much ]negative[ assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allaah; indeed, Allaah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.{ ]Quran 49:12[
In addition to this, by spying on him and investigating about him, you make yourself sorrowful and unhappy, and you may believe him if he tells lies to you and you may not believe him if he tells you the truth. Thus, it is wise not to spy on him and investigate about him.
Finally, we advise you to beware of Satan and his plots and endeavors in separating spouses.Jaabirnarrated that the Prophetsaid: “Indeed, Iblees )Satan( places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments ]for creating dissension[; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: 'I did such and such'. And he says: 'You have done nothing'. Then one amongst them comes and says: 'I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seeds of discord between him and his wife'. Satan goes near him and says: ‘You have done well!’” ]Muslim[
Allaah Knows best.

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Fathwa, - Mother leaving family's house during process of divorce

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My in-laws are going through a talaq my mother inlaw walked out of her house she shared with her husband last year September and moved in with her eldest son, this son always wanted to own the mother, 2 years ago the mother spoke ill about this son and his wife to the other siblings and caused friction amongst the other children but now she is living under their roof and we must just forget about what she had said. She has now gone to seek a talaq/fasag they have been married for 40 years he has 2 other wives, the thing I want to know is, is she allowed to go away on holiday away trips with this son and his inlaws as well as on trips with the senior club she belongs to now that they are in this process? Some of the other siblings have also alienated the father should adult children choose sides and should the mother inlaw not have been opened with that son whose she living with now as to what she had told the other siblings about them and how they treated her 2 years ago?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, is His slave and Messenger.
In principle, it is impermissible for a wife to leave her husband's house without his permission. In case of a revocable divorce, it is impermissible for her to leave her house except for a necessity.
Therefore, if your mother-in-law is still married to your father-in-law or if the divorced is revocable, then it is impermissible for her to leave the house, let alone travel, unless there is a necessity.
However, if the divorce is irrevocable or her husband gave his permission, then there is no problem in her traveling with her son or living with him. The fact that she spoke ill of him, or that he mistreated her, or that she caused friction between him and his siblings, does not prevent her from living with her son or traveling with him. But she must repent of what she has done.
On the other hand, all the children are obliged to be dutiful to their parents and it is impermissible for them to sever their relations with either of the parents, whether they remain married or get divorced.
Allaah Knows best.

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Fathwa, - Her brother-in-law controls her husband's life

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Salaam. I have an issue I need advice on. My brother in law is fully controlling my husbands life. He is making him stay away from home and sending him 80 miles away from home to work. He is not getting paid and is being told each Tim he will get paid. But 3 months has passed by and yet no payment. Therefore he cannot support me and is leaving me home alone I have no family where I live either. He wants to have his own business and study for his life. But his brother is stopping him as he wants him to work for him only. Recently his brother has told him to move to another city and isn't giving him an option. Not that long ago I was in hospital and I had miss carried a baby I needed my husband for emotional support yet his brother would not leave him to stay with me and forced him to go away to work. I am left for many nights per week alone while he stays away from home. When he wants to stay with me he gets shouted at. Has my husbands brother islamically got this power over him and is it allowed for any of his brothers to tell him what to do? Also is there any authentic evidence for any answers. Jazakhallahkhair.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His Slave and Messenger.
If what you have mentioned is true, then that brother has wronged your husband and his attitude is unfair and oppressive. Allaah, The Exalted, created Man and honored mankind with reason, distinguishing Man from all other creatures. He blessed Man with )the faculties of( hearing, sight, heart, mind and understanding in order to choose what benefits him in the worldly life and the Hereafter. Allaah, The Exalted, says )what means(: }And We have certainly honored the children of Adam and carried them on the land and sea and provided for them of the good things and preferred them over much of what We have created, with ]definite[ preference.{]Quran 17:70[Al-Qurtubireported thatAt-Tabarisaid, “The correct opinion is that the preference was in blessing Man with the mind, which is the decisive factor in deeming a person competent for religious assignments. The faculty which distinguishes man from all other animals is his mind, by means of which Man knows his Lord, understands His words, relishes His blessings, and believes in His Messengers...” Allaah, The Exalted, says )what means(: }And Allaah has extracted you from the wombs of your mothers not knowing a thing, and He made for you hearing and vision and intellect that perhaps you would be grateful.{]Quran 16:78[
In principle, all people are free, as‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaabsaid, “Since when do you enslave the people when their mothers bore them as free men?” Therefore, it is impermissible for your brother-in-law to humiliate and control his brother in such a manner, and it is impermissible for your husband to accept such treatment.
You should advise your husband to work and cooperate with his brother – if he wishes - without incurring such hardship upon himself. You can also ask someone to advise your brother-in-law and ask him to fear Allaah and treat his brother justly and give him the salary he deserves in order for him to provide for himself and his family.
Moreover, your brother-in-law should not assign work to your husband in such an unreasonable way, not allowing his brother to have time to take care of himself and his family. The Prophetmade a bond of brotherhood betweenSalmaanandAbu Ad-Dardaa'...Salmaansaid toAbu Ad-Dardaa’‘Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so, you should give to everyone his due right.Abu Ad-Dardaa'came to the Prophetand reported the whole story. The Prophetsaid:‘Salmaan has spoken the truth.’” ]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[

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Hajj & Umrah, - Mistakes inSa‘y)Walking between As-Safa and Al-Marwah(

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·Raising one's hands as one does in prayer upon ascendingAs-SafaorAl-Marwah.
TheSunnah)tradition(, however, is to raise them as the one who supplicates Allaah The Almighty does, praise Allaah, exalt Him and supplicate while facing the direction of theKa‘bah.
·Jogging or walking fast between the two mountains ofAs-SafaandAl-Marwahin every round.
This is a mistake, because theSunnahis to do so between the two green signs and then walk normally in the rest of the round.
·Women jogging or walking fast between the two green signs.
This is against theSunnah, because this is an action specific to men.
·Reciting the verse in which Allaah The Exalted Says )what means(:}Indeed, As-Safa and Al-Marwah are among the symbols of Allaah.{]Quran 2:158[ in every round whenever he comes to As-SafaorAl-Marwah.
TheSunnah, however, is to do so at the beginning ofSa'ywhen the pilgrim approachesAs-Safamountain, as proven to be done by the Prophet,.
·Some pilgrims think that the round ofSa'ystarts withAs-Safamountain and also ends with it. In other words, the pilgrim startsSa'yfromAs-Safamountain toAl-Marwahand then returns toAs-Safaagain to complete one round. The correct, however, is that makingSa'ystarting fromAs-Safaup toAl-Marwahis deemed a complete round; and doing so fromAl-MarwahtoAs-Safais deemed another round.
·Specifying a certain supplication for each round. It was not narrated that the Prophet,, said a certain supplication in each round.
Some people voluntarily makeSa'ybetweenAs-SafaandAl-Marwahwhile they are not pilgrims. TheSunnah, however, states that it is recommended to perform voluntary acts for Tawaafonly.

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