Family Issues, - The Ideal Muslim Woman and Her Parents

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She treats them with kindness and respect (birr)
One of the main distinguishing characteristics of the true Muslim woman is her respectful and kind treatment of her parents. Islam encourages respect towards and kind treatment of parents in many definitive texts of the Qur’an and Sunnah; any Muslim woman who reads these texts has no choice but to adhere to their teachings and treat her parents with kindness and respect, no matter what the circumstances or the state of the relationship between daughter and parents.
She recognizes their status and knows her duties towards them
From her reading of the Qur’an, the Muslim woman understands the high status to which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has raised parents, and that it is a status which mankind has never known except in Islam, which has placed respect for parents just one step below belief in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and true worship of Him. Manyayatof the Qur’an describe pleasing one’s parents as coming second only to pleasing Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and confirm that treating parents well is the best of good deeds after having faith in Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala).
( Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good, to parents . . .) (Qur’an 4:36)
So the Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings of her religion is kinder and more respectful towards her parents than any other woman in the world; this does not stop when she leaves the home to marry and start her own family, and has her own, independent, busy life. Her respect and kindness towards her parents are ongoing and will remain an important part of her behavior until the end of her life, in accordance with the Qur’anic teaching which has enjoined kind treatment of parents for life, especially when they reach old age and become incapacitated and are most in need of kind words and good care:
( Your Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one of both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, ‘My Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) ! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.’) (Qur’an 17:23-24)
The Muslim woman whose heart has been illuminated with the light of Qur’anic guidance is always receptive and responsive to this divine instruction, which she reads in theayatthat enjoin good treatment of parents. So her kindness and respect towards them will increase, and she will be even more devoted to serving them. She will do her utmost to please them, even if she has a husband, house, children and other responsibilities of her own:
( Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good - to parents . . .) (Qur’an 4:36)
( We have enjoined on man kindness to parents . . .) (Qur’an 29:8)
( And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him . . .) (Qur’an 31:14)
Anyone who looks into the Islamic sources regarding the kind treatment of parents will also find plenty of Hadith that reinforce the message of theayatquoted above and reiterate the virtue of kindness and respect towards one’s parents, as well as warning against disobedience or mistreatment of them for any reason whatsoever. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud said:
“I asked the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), ‘Which deed is most liked by Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) ‘ He said, ‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked him, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘Kindness and respect towards parents.’ I asked him, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘Jihadfor the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala).’”1
The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), this great educator, placed kindness and respect towards parents between two of the greatest deeds in Islam: prayer offered on time andjihadfor the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). Prayer is the pillar or foundation of the faith, andjihadis the pinnacle of Islam. What a high status the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) has given to parents!
A man came to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) to “makebay’ah” and to pledge to undertakehijrahandjihadin the hope of receiving reward from Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) did not rush to accept hisbay’ah, but asked him, “Are either of your parents alive?” The man said, “Yes, both of them.” The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked, “And do you wish to receive reward from Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) “ The man replied, “Yes.” So the kind-hearted and compassionate Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told him, “Go back to your parents and keep them company in the best possible way.”2
According to a report narrated by Bukhari and Muslim, a man came and asked the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for permission to participate injihad. He asked him, “Are your parents alive?” The man said, “Yes,” so the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told him, “So performjihadby taking care of them.”3
In the midst of preparing his army forjihad, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) did not forget the weakness of parents and their claims on their children, so he gently discouraged this volunteer and reminded him to take care of his parents, despite the fact that he needed all the manpower he could get for the forthcomingjihad. This is because he understood the importance of respect and kind treatment of parents, and knew its position in the overall Islamic framework that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has designed for the well being and happiness of mankind.
When the mother of Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas objected to her son’s embracing Islam, she told him: “Give up Islam, or I will go on hunger strike until I die. Then you will feel shame before the Arabs, as they will say that he killed his mother.” Sa’d told her, “You should know that, by Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) even if you had a hundred souls, and they left your body one by one, I would never give up Islam.” Then Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) revealed anayahwhich the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) recited to the Muslims, in which Sa’d was rebuked for the harshness of his reply to his mother:
( But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice [and consideration] . . .) (Qur’an 31:15)
The story of the devoted worshipper Jurayj, which was told by the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), is a vivid illustration of the importance of respecting one’s parents and being quick to obey them. One day his mother called him whilst he was praying, and he wondered, “My Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) , my mother or my prayer?” He chose to continue his prayer (rather than answering his mother). She called him a second time, but he continued praying and did not answer her. Then she called him a third time, and when he did not respond she prayed to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) not to let him die until he had seen the face of a prostitute. There was a prostitute in that locality who had committed adultery with a shepherd and become pregnant. When she realised that she was with child, the shepherd told her: “If you are asked about the father of the baby, say it is Jurayj, the devoted worshipper.” This is what she said, so the people went and destroyed the place where he used to pray. The ruler brought him to the public square, and on the way Jurayj remembered his mother’s prayer and smiled. When he was brought forth to be punished, he asked for permission to pray tworak’ahs, then he asked for the infant to be brought forth and whispered in his ear, “Who is your father?” The infant said, “My father is so-and-so, the shepherd.”4The people exclaimed “La ilaha illa-Allah” and “Allahu akbar!” They told Jurayj, “We will rebuild your prayer-place with silver and gold!” He said, “No, just rebuild it as it was, with bricks and mortar.” Concerning this story, which is reported by al Bukhari, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “If Jurayj had sound knowledge, he would have known that answering his mother was more important than continuing his prayer.”5Hence thefuqaha’suggested that if one is praying anafilprayer and one of one’s parents calls one, one is obliged to stop one’s prayer and answer them.
The duty to treat one’s parents with kindness and respect sunk into the consciousness of the Muslims, so they hastened to treat their parents well both during their lives and after their deaths. There are many reports and Hadith that indicate this, for example the report thatdescribes how a woman of Juhaynah came to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said: “My mother made a vow (nadhr) to perform Hajj but she did not perform Hajj before she died. May I perform Hajj on her behalf?” He said, “Yes, go and perform Hajj on her behalf. If you knew that your mother had a debt, would you not pay it off for her? Pay off what is due to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), for Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) has more right to be paid off.”6
According to a report given by Muslim, she asked, “She owed a month’s fasting, so may I fast on her behalf?” The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Fast on her behalf.” She said, “She never performed Hajj, so may I perform Hajj on her behalf?” He said, “Perform Hajj on her behalf.”7
She is kind and respectful towards her parents even if they are not Muslim
The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) raised his teachings to a new peak when he enjoined his followers to treat their parents with kindness and respect even if they were adherents of a religion other than Islam. This is clear from the Hadith of Asma’ bint Abi Bakr al-Siddiq, who said: “My mother came to me, and she was amushrikat the time of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). I asked the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), ‘My mother has come to me and needs my help, so should I help her?’ He said, ‘yes, keep in touch with your mother and help her.’”8
The true Muslim who understands the meaning of this Qur’anic guidance and the teachings of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) cannot but be the best and kindest of all people towards his parents, at all times. This is the practice of theSahabahand those who followed them sincerely. A man asked Sa’id ibn Musayyab (RAA): “I understood all of theayahabout kindness and respect towards parents, apart from the phrase ‘but address them in terms of honour.’ How can I address them in terms of honour?” Sa’id replied: “It means that you should address them as a servant addresses his master.” Ibn Sirin (radhiallahu anhu) used to speak to his mother in a soft voice, like that of a sick person, out of respect for her.
She is extremely reluctant to disobey them
Just as the Muslim woman hastens to treat her parents with kindness and respect, she is also afraid to commit the sin of disobeying them, because she realises the enormity of this sin which is counted as one of the major sins (al-kaba’ir). She is aware of the frightening picture which Islam paints of the one who disobeys her parents, and this stirs her conscience and softens any hardness of heart or harsh feelings that she might be harboring.
Islam draws a comparison between disobedience towards one’s parents and the crime of associating partners with Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), just as it establishes a link between true faith in Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and respectful treatment of parents. Disobedience to one’s parents is a heinous crime, which the true Muslim woman is loath to commit, for it is the greatest of major sins and the worst of errors. Abu Bakrah Nufay’ ibn al-Harith said:
“Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked us three times, ‘Shall I tell you the greatest sins?’ We said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah.’ He said, ‘Associating partners with Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and disobeying one’s parents.’”9
Her mother comes first, then her father
Islam has encouraged respect and kindness towards parents. Some texts deal with the mother and father separately, but taken all together, the texts enjoin a healthy balance in children’s attention to their parents, so that respect to one parent will not be at the expense of the other. Some texts further confirm that the mother should be given precedence over the father.
So, as we have seen, when a man came to givebay’ahand pledge to take part injihad, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked him, “Are either of your parents alive?” This indicates that the Muslim is obliged to treat both parents equally well. Similarly, Asma’ was ordered to keep in contact with hermushrikmother.
A man came to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and asked him, “O Messenger of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), who among people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Then your father.”10
This Hadith confirms that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) gave precedence to kind treatment of one’s mother over kind treatment of one’s father, and the Sahabah used to remind the Muslims of this after the death of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Ibn ‘Abbas, a great scholar andfaqihof thisummah, considered kind treatment of one’s mother to be the best deed to bring one closer to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). A man came to him and said, “I asked for a woman’s hand in marriage, and she refuse me. Someone else asked for her hand and she accepted and married him. I felt jealous, so I killed her. Will my repentance be accepted?” Ibn ‘Abbas asked, “Is your mother still alive?” He said, “No.” So he told him, “Repent to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and do your best to draw close to Him.”
‘Ata’ ibn Yassar, who narrated this report from Ibn ‘Abbas, said: “I went and asked Ibn Abbas, ‘Why did you ask him if his mother was still alive?’ He said, ‘Because I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) than kind treatment and respect towards one’s mother.’”11
Imam Bukhari opens his bookal-Adab al-Mufradwith a chapter on respect and kindness towards parents (birr al-walidayn), in which he places the section on good treatment of the mother before that on good treatment of the father, consistent with the teachings of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam).
The Qur’an evokes feelings of love and respect in the heart of the child, and encourages him or her to treat parents well. It refers to the mother being given precedence because of pregnancy and breast-feeding, and the pains and trials that she suffers during these two stages, in a most gentle and compassionate way. It recognizes her noble sacrifice and great tenderness and care:
( And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: [hear the command]: ‘Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is [your final] Goal.’) (Qur’an 31:14)
What supreme teaching! What humane, compassionate direction: “Show gratitude to Me and to your parents.” Showing gratitude to parents for what they have done for their child comes second only to showing gratitude to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), and is one of the best righteous deeds. What a high status this religion gives to parents:
Ibn ‘Umar saw a Yemeni man circumambulating the Ka’bah, carrying his mother. The man said to him, “I am like a tame camel for her: I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn ‘Umar?” He replied, “No, not even one contraction!”12
Every time ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (radhiallahu anhu) saw the reinforcements from Yemen, he asked them, “Is Uways ibn ‘Amir among you?” - until he found Uways. He asked him, “Are you Uways ibn ‘Amir?” Uways said, “Yes.” ‘Umar asked, “Are you from the clan of Murad in the tribe of Qaran?” Uways said, “Yes.” ‘Umar asked, “Did you have leprosy, then you were cured of it except for an area the size of adirham? Uways said, “Yes.” ‘Umar asked, “Do you have a mother?” Uways said, “Yes.” ‘Umar said: “I heard Allah’s Messenger(sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) say: ‘There will come to you with the reinforcements from Yemen a man called Uways ibn ‘Amir of the clan of Murad from the tribe of Qaran. He had leprosy but has been cured of it except for a spot the size of adirham. He has a mother, and he has always treated her with kindness and respect. If he prays to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) will fulfil his wish. If you can ask him to pray for forgiveness for you, then do so.’ So ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) to forgive me.” Uways asked Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) to forgive him, then ‘Umar asked him, “Where are you going?” Uways said, “To Kufah.” ‘Umar said, “Shall I write a letter of recommendation for you to the governor there?” Uways said, “I prefer to be anonymous among the people.”13
What a high status Uways reached by virtue of his kindness and respect towards his mother, so that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) recommended hisSahabahto seek him out and ask him to prafor them!
All of this indicates the high status to which Islam has raised the position of motherhood, and given the mother precedence over the father. At the same time, Islam has given importance to both parents, and has enjoined kindness and respect to both.
A woman may enjoy a life of ease and luxury in her husband’s home, and may be kept so busy with her husband and growing children that she has little time to spare for her parents, and neglects to check on them and treat them well.
But the true Muslim woman is safe from such errors, as she reads the recommendations of the Qur’an and Sunnah concerning parents. So she pays attention to them, constantly checking on them and hastening to treat them well, as much as her energy, time and circumstances permit, and as much as she can.
She treats them kindly
The Muslim woman who has embraced the values of Islam is kind and respectful towards her parents, treating them well and choosing the best ways to speak to them and deal with them. She speaks to them with all politeness and respect, and surrounds them with all honour and care, lowering to them the wing of humility, as commanded by Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) in the Qur’an. She never utters a word of contempt or complaint to them, no matter what the circumstances, always heeding the words of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) :
( Your Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one of both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) ! Bestow on them Your mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.’) (Qur’an 17:23-24)
If one or both parents are deviating from true Islam in some way, the dutiful Muslim daughter should, in this case, approach them in a gentle and sensitive manner, so as to dissuade them from their error. She should not condemn them harshly, but should try to convince them with solid proof, sound logic, wise words and patience, until they turn to the truth in which she believes.
The Muslim woman is required to treat her parents well, even if they aremushrikin. She does not forget that she is obliged to treat them well in spite of theirshirk. Although she knows thatshirkis the worst of major sins, this does not prevent her from treating her parents well according to the uniquely tolerantshari’ahof Islam:
( And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: [hear the command], ‘Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is [your final] Goal.’ But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice [and consideration], and follow the way of those who turn to Me [in love]: in the End the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth [and meaning] of all that you did.)(Qur’an 31:14-15)
Kindness and respect towards parents is an important matter in Islam, because it springs from the strongest of human ties, the bond of a child to his or her mother and father. But this bond, great as it is, must come second to the bonds of faith. If the parents aremushrikin, and order their son or daughter to join them in theirshirk, then the child must not obey them. There is no obedience to a created being in disobeying the Creator; no other bond may supersede that of faith and belief in Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). However, children are still obliged to honor and take care of their parents.
The Muslim woman is kind and respectful towards her parents in all circumstances, and she spares no effort to make them happy, as much as she can and within the limits of Islam. So she checks on them from time to time, offers her services, visits them often and greets them with a cheerful smile, a loving heart, delightful gifts and words of kindness.
This is how she cares for them during their lives. After their death, she shows her love and respect by praying for them, giving charity on their behalf, and paying off whatever debts they may owe to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) or to other people.
Treating parents with kindness and respect is one of the essential attitudes of Muslim men and women. This noble attitude should be ongoing and should continue, no matter how complicated life becomes, no matter how high the cost of living rises, and no matter how many burdens or responsibilities a person has.
This attitude is an indication of the rich emotions that still exist in Muslim lands,al-hamdu-lillah, and it is proof of the gratitude which Muslim men and women feel towards the older generation which has made so many sacrifices for them when they themselves were most in need of kind words, consolation and a helping hand.
This attitude will protect a person, man or woman, from hard-heartedness and ingratitude. What is more, it will open to them the gates of Paradise.
Footnotes:
1.(Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 2/176, Kitab al-salat, bab fadl al-salawat al-khams.
2.(Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 191, bab birr al-walidayn.
3.See Riyad al-salihin, 191, bab birr al-walidayn
4.This child is one of the three who spoke in the cradle. The other two are ‘Isa ibn Maryam (Jesus the son of Mary) and the child who was with his mother among the people of al-Ukhdud (the ditch). [Author]
5.See Fath al-Bari, 3/78, Kitab al-’aml fi’l-salah, bab idha da’at al-umm waladaha fi’l-salat, and 5/136, Kitab al-mazalim, bab idha hadama ha’itan falyabni ghayrahu.
6.See Fath al-Bari, 4/64, Kitab juz’ al-sayd, bab al-hajj wa’l-nudhur.
7.Sahih Muslim, 8/25, Kitab al-siyam, bab qada’ al-sawm ‘an al-mayit.
8.(Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/13, Kitab al-birr wa’l-silah, bab silat al-walid al-mushrik.
9.(Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/15, Kitab al-birr wa’l-silah, bab tahrim al-’uquq.
10.(Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/4, Kitab al-birr wa’l-silah, bab birr al-walidayn.
11.Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/45, bab birr al-umm.
12.Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/62, bab jaza’ al-walidayn. See Sahih Muslim, 16/95, Kitab fada’il al-sahabah, bab min fada’l Uways al-Qarani.

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There is nothing wrongwith offering du‘aa’ together after a lectureDought & clear, -

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Is it permissible to offer du‘aa’ together, such as if the imam offers du‘aa’ after giving a lecture, for example?
Praise be to Allah.
|Du‘aa’ is one of the best acts of worship by means of which the Muslim may worship his Lord. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord said: ‘Invoke Me, (i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism)) (and ask Me for anything) I will respond to your (invocation). Verily! Those who scorn My worship (i.e. do not invoke Me, and do not believe in My Oneness, (Islamic Monotheism)) they will surely enter Hell in humiliation!’”
[Ghaafir 40:60].
It was narrated from an-Nu‘maan ibn Basheer, that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Du‘aa’ is worship. Your Lord said:‘Invoke Me, I will respond to your (invocation).’” Narrated and classed as saheeh by at-Tirmidhi, 2969; also narrated by Abu Dawood, 1479; Ibn Maajah, 3828; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
Here we should point out an important matter about which many people are confused, namely the difference between “making dhikr together” and “offering du‘aa’ together”. The former has no basis in Islam; there is no proof that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) remembered his Lord (i.e., dhikr) with his Companions in unison, or that he would remember his Lord (recite dhikr) and his Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) would repeat after him.
But with regard to offering du‘aa’ together, there is a basis for doing so in Islam, and it may take many forms. In Qunoot an-nawaazil (du‘aa’ of qunoot at times of calamity) and qunoot in Witr prayer, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would offer du‘aa’ and his Companions would say Ameen behind him. The majority of scholars are of the view that the worshippers should say Ameen to the du‘aa’ of the khateeb on Friday, and when praying for rain (istisqa’), and there are many other various ways of offering du‘aa’ together.
With regard to innovated (bid‘ah) ways of offering du‘aa’ together, there are several forms:
1. When a Muslim calls together a group of people solely for the purpose of offering du‘aa’
It was narrated that Abu ‘Uthmaan said: A governor wrote to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, saying: Here there are some people who gather together and offer du‘aa’ for the Muslims and the governor. ‘Umar wrote back to him saying: Come (to me) and bring them with you. So he came, and ‘Umar said to the doorkeeper, Bring me a whip. When they entered upon ‘Umar, he began to strike their governor with the whip.
Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah in hisMusannaf, 13/360. Its isnaad is hasan.
2. People gathering to offer du‘aa’ in unison
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Dhikr recited together in unison, in secret or openly, where a specific du‘aa’, narrated in texts or otherwise, is repeated, whether that is done by everyone or one of them prompts the others, with or without raising the hands – all of these are actions that require a shar‘i basis from the Qur’an or Sunnah, because that comes under the heading of worship, and acts of worship are based on tawqeef (i.e., they should be limited only to that which is mentioned in the Qur’an and saheeh Sunnah) and on following (the Qur’an and saheeh Sunnah), not on innovations and inventions. Hence we looked in the texts of the Qur’an and Sunnah, and we did not find any evidence to support this form of dhikr. Hence we can be sure that there is no basis for it in sharee‘ah. Anything for which there is no basis in sharee‘ah is an innovation (bid‘ah). Therefore dhikr and du‘aa’ that are done in communal form are innovations and every Muslim who follows the example of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) must refrain from and avoid them, and adhere to what is prescribed.
Based on that, offering du‘aa’ together in unison, whether it is du‘aa’ at any time or following a certain activity, such as after reading Qur’an or after an exhortation or lesson – all of that is innovated.
Tasheeh ad-Du‘aa’, p. 134, 135
With regard to the du‘aa’ of a lecturer or teacher at the end of his lesson, and the audience saying Ameen to his du‘aa’, it seems to us from the Sunnah of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that this is permissible, and indeed mustahabb (encouraged).
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) rarely left a gathering without offering these supplications for his companions: “O Allah, give us a share of fear of You that will prevent us from disobeying You, (a share) of obedience to You that will help us to reach Paradise, and (a share) of certainty that will enable us to withstand the calamities of this world; cause us to enjoy our hearing, sight and strength so long as we are alive, until we die; avenge us against those who wrong us; support us against those who wrong us; do not make our calamity in our religious commitment; do not make this world our main concern and all that we know about; do not send against us those who will show no mercy to us.”
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 3502; classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh at-Tirmidhi.
An-Nawawi included it in his bookal-Adhkaar, in a chapter entitled “Du‘aa’ of a person in a gathering for himself and those who are with him.”
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
Sometimes, after giving a lecture or a lesson, the lecturer offers du‘aa’ and raises his hands; should we sit with him during the communal du‘aa’ or should we leave after the lecture, before the du‘aa’?
He replied:
There is nothing wrong with offering du‘aa’ after a lecture, exhortation or reminder; there is nothing wrong with offering du‘aa’, calling upon Allah to help and guide those present, and to grant them good intentions and good deeds. But I do not know of any evidence for raising their hands in such cases, and I do not know of any report to that effect from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) except some texts that speak in general terms of raising the hands when offering du‘aa’, and say that it is one of the means of having the supplication answered. But I do not remember any report from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to suggest that after he had exhorted or reminded the people, he would raise his hands and offer du‘aa’. If he used to do that, the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) would have reported it, because they did not omit anything but they reported it (may Allah be pleased with them). So it is preferable and more on the safe side not to raise the hands in such cases, unless there is evidence to that effect. With regard to the speaker offering du‘aa’ for them after he has finished speaking, and saying. “May Allah forgive us and you” or “May Allah guide us and you,” or “May Allah cause us and you to benefit from what we have heard,” and so on, there is nothing wrong with that, and if they say Ameen, there is nothing wrong with that either. End quote.
Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, tape no. 610.

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Dought & clear, - Eating food that is made for ‘Ashoora’

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Is it permissible to eat the foods cooked by Shiites in Aashooraa? They say that these foods are made for Allah’s sake but its reward is for Al-Hussein, may Allah be pleased with him!
It will be embarrassing if I do not accept this food. It may even expose me to danger, as I am in Iraq, and you know how Sunnis here are treated.
Praise be to Allah
What the Shi’ah do on ‘Ashoora’ of slapping their cheeks, striking and cutting their heads, shedding their blood and making special foods, is all bid’ah and reprehensible innovation, as has been explained in the answer to question no. 4033and 9438. It is not permissible to take part in that, or to help those who do it, because that is cooperating in sin and transgression.
And it is not permissible to eat this food that they have prepared for their innovation and misguidance.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This is an abhorrent evil and reprehensible innovation which must be abandoned; it is not permissible to take part in it and it is not permissible to eat the food that is offered.
And he said: It is not permissible take part in it or to eat of these meats or drink these drinks [prepared for this occasion]. If the meat has been slaughtered for anyone other than Allaah, among Ahl al-Bayt [the Prophet’s family] or anyone else, then it is major shirk, because Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“. Say (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم): ‘Verily, my Salaah (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allaah, the Lord of the ‘Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists).
163. ‘He has no partner. And of this I have been commanded, and I am the first of the Muslims’”
[al-An’aam 6:162-163]
“Verily, We have granted you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) Al‑Kawthar (a river in Paradise).
2. Therefore turn in prayer to your Lord and sacrifice (to Him only)”
[al-Kawthar 1-2]
End quote fromFataawa al-Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz(8/320).
But if your refusing to accept their food will pose a danger to you, then there is nothing wrong with accepting it so as to ward off harm.
And Allaah knows best.

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Dought & clear, - Ruling on celebrating ‘Aashooraa’ or taking it as a day of mourning

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What is the ruling on what people do on the day of ‘Aashooraa’, such as wearing kohl, taking a bath (ghusl), using henna, shaking hands with one another, cooking grains (huboob), showing their happiness and so on…? Has any saheeh hadeeth to that effect been narrated from the Prophet peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or not? If there is no saheeh hadeeth to that effect, does doing these things constitute bid’ah, or not? What about the things that the other people do, such as mourning, grieving, going without anything to drink, eulogizing, wailing, rending their garments, etc.? Is there any basis for that or not?
Praise be to Allah
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked this question and he replied as follows:
‘Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. Nothing to that effect has been reported in any saheeh hadeeth from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or from his Companions. None of the imaams of the Muslims encouraged or recommended such things, neither the four imaams, nor any others. No reliable scholars have narrated anything like this, neither from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), nor from the Sahaabah, nor from the Taabi’een; neither in any saheeh report or in a da’eef (weak) report; neither in the books ofSaheeh, nor inal-Sunan, nor in theMusnads. No hadeeth of this nature was known during the best centuries, but some of the later narrators reported ahaadeeth like the one which says “Whoever puts kohl in his eyes on the day of ‘Aashooraa’ will not suffer from eye disease in that year, and whoever takes a bath (does ghusl) on the day of ‘Aashooraa’ will not get sick in that year, etc.” They also narrated reports concerning the supposed virtues of praying on the day of ‘Aashooraa’, and other reports saying that on the day of ‘Aashooraa’ Adam repented, the Ark settled on Mount Joodi, Yoosuf returned to Ya’qoob, Ibraaheem was saved from the fire, the ram was provided for sacrifice instead of Ismaa’eel, and so on. They also reported a fabricated hadeeth that is falsely attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), which says, “Whoever is generous to his family on the day of ‘Aashooraa’, Allaah will be generous to him for the rest of the year.”
(Then Ibn Taymiyah discussed the two misguided groups who were in Koofah, Iraq, both of whom took ‘Aashooraa’ as a festival because of their bid’ah). The Raafidi group made an outward show of allegiance to the Ahl al-Bayt although inwardly they were either heretics and disbelievers or ignorant and bound by whims and desires. The Naasibi group hated ‘Ali and his companions, because of the troubles and killings that had occurred. It is reported inSaheeh Muslimthat the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “In (the tribe of) Thaqeef there will be a liar and an oppressor [???].” The liar was al-Mukhtaar ibn Abi ‘Ubayd al-Thaqafi, who made an outward show of allegiance to and support of the Ahl al-Bayt, and killed ‘Ubayd-Allaah ibn Ziyaad, the governor of Iraq, who had equipped the party that killed al-Husayn ibn ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with them both); then he (al-Mukhtaar) made it clear that he was a liar, by claiming to be a prophet and that Jibreel (peace be upon him) brought revelation to him. People told Ibn ‘Umar and Ibn ‘Abbaas about this, and said to one of them, “al-Mukhtaar ibn Abi ‘Ubayd is claiming to receive revelation [annahu yanzilu ‘alayhi].” He said, “He is telling the truth, for Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):‘Shall I inform you (O people) upon whom the shayaateen (devils) descend [tanazzalu]? They descend upon every lying, sinful person.’ [al-Shu’ara’ 26:221].” [Translator’s note: the words translated as “receive revelation” and “descend” both come from the same root in Arabic]. They said to the other: “Al-Mukhtaar is claiming that he receives inspiration.” He said, “he is telling the truth.‘… And certainly, the Shayaateen (devils) do inspire their friends (from mankind) to dispute with you…’ [al-An’aam 6:121 – interpretation of the meaning].” As for the oppressor , this was al-Hajjaaj ibn Yoosuf al-Thaqafi, who was opposed to ‘Ali and his companions. Al-Hajjaaj was a Naasibi and al-Mukhtaar was a Raafidi, and this Raafidi was a greater liar and more guilty of fabrication and heresy, because he claimed to be a prophet…
There was much trouble and fighting between these two groups in Kufa. When al-Husayn ibn ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with them both) was killed on the day of ‘Aashooraa’, he was killed by the sinful, wrongdoing group. Allaah honoured al-Husayn with martyrdom, as He honoured other members of his family, and raised his status, as He honoured Hamzah, Ja’far, his father ‘Ali and others. Al-Husayn and his brother al-Hasan are the leaders of the youth of Paradise. High status can only be attained through suffering, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him said, when he was asked which people suffer the most. He said, “The Prophets, then righteous people, then the next best and the next best. A man will suffer according to his level of faith. If his faith is solid, he will suffer more, but if his faith is shaky, he will suffer less. The believer will keep on suffering until he walks on the earth with no sin.” (reported by al-Tirmidhi and others). Al-Hasan and al-Husayn achieved what they achieved and reached the high status they reached by the help and decree of Allaah. They did not suffer as much as their forefathers had, for they were born and raised during the glory days of Islam, and the Muslims respected and honoured them. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) died when they were still young, and Allaah blessed them by testing them in such a manner that they would be able to catch up with the rest of their family members, as those who were of a higher status than them were also tested. ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib was better than them, and he was killed as a shaheed (martyr). The killing of al-Husayn was one of the things that caused fitnah (tribulation) among the people, as was the killing of ‘Uthmaan, which was one of the greatest causes of fitnah, because of which the ummah is still split today. Thus the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three things, whoever is saved from them is truly saved: my death, the killing of a patient khaleefah, and the Dajjaal (‘antichrist’).”
Then Shaykh al-Islam (may Allaah have mercy on him) mentioned a little about the biography of al-Hasan and his just character, then he said:
“Then he died, and Allaah was pleased with him and honoured him. Some groups wrote to al-Husayn and promised to support and help him if he went ahead and declared himself khaleefah, but they were not sincere. When al-Husayn sent his cousin [son of his paternal uncle] to them, they broke their word and gave help to the one they had promised to defend him against, and fought with him against [al-Husayn’s cousin]. Those who were wise and who loved al-Husayn, such as Ibn ‘Abbaas and Ibn ‘Umar and others, advised him not to go to them, and not to accept any promises from them. They thought that his going to them served no useful interest and that the consequences would not be good. Things turned out just as they said, and this is how Allaah decreed it would happen. When al-Husayn (may Allaah be pleased with him) went out and saw that things were not as he had expected, he asked them to let him go back, or to let him join the army that was defending the borders of Islam, or join his cousin Yazeed, but they would not let him do any of these things unless he gave himself up to them as a prisoner. So he fought with them, and they killed him and some of those who were with him, and he was wrongfully slain so he died as a shaheed whose martyrdom brought him honour from Allaah, and so he was reunited with the good and pure members of his family. His murder brought shame on those who had wrongfully killed him, and caused much mischief among the people. An ignorant, wrongful group – who were either heretics and hypocrites, or misguided and misled – made a show of allegiance to him and the members of his household, so they took the day of ‘Aashooraa’ as a day of mourning and wailing, in which they openly displayed the rituals of jaahiliyyah such as slapping their cheeks and rending their garments, grieving in the manner of the jaahiliyyah. But what Allaah has commanded us to do when disaster strikes – when the disaster is fresh – is to bear it with patience and fortitude, and to seek reward, and to remember that all things come from Allaah and we must return to Him, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):“… but give glad tidings to al-saabiroon (the patient ones), who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly, to Allaah we belong and turly, to Him we shall return.’ They are those on whom are al-salawaat (the blessings) (i.e., who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones.” [al-Baqarah 2:155-157].
It is reported inal-Saheehthat the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “he is not one of us who strikes his cheeks, rends his garments and prays with the prayer of Jaahiliyyah.” And he said: “I have nothing to do with those who strike [their cheeks], shave [their heads] and rend [their garments].” And he said: “If the woman who wails does not repent before she dies, she will be raised up on the Day of Resurrection wearing trousers made of tar and a shirt of scabs.” Inal-Musnad, it is reported from Faatimah bint al-Husayn, from her father al-Husayn, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no man who suffers a calamity, and when he remembers it, even if it is old, he says ‘Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon(Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return),’ but Allaah will give a reward equal to the reward He gave him on the day he suffered the calamity.” This is how Allaah honours the Believers. If the disaster suffered by al-Husayn, and other disasters, are mentioned after all this time, we should say “Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon(Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return),” as Allaah and His Messenger commanded, so as to be given the reward like that earned on the day of the disaster itself. If Allaah commanded us to be patient and steadfast and to seek reward at the time of the disaster, then how about after the passing of time? The Shaytaan made this attractive to those who are misled, so they took the day of ‘Aashooraa’ as an occasion of mourning, when they grieve and wail, recite poems of grief and tell stories filled with lies. Whatever truth there may be in these stories serves no purpose other than the renewal of their grief and sectarian feeling, and the stirring up of hatred and hostility among the Muslims, which they do by cursing those who came before them, and telling many lies, and causing much trouble in the world. The various sects of Islam have never known any group tell more lies or cause more trouble or help the kuffaar against the Muslims more than this misguided and evil group. They are even worse than the Khawaarij who went beyond the pale of Islam. They are the ones of whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “They will kill the people of Islam and will leave alone the people who worship idols.” This group cooperated with the Jews, Christians and mushrikeen against the members of the Prophet’s household and his believing ummah, and also helped the mushrik Turks and Tatars to do what they did in Baghdaad and elsewhere to the descendents of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), i.e., the ‘Abbaasid rulers and others, and the believers; the Turks and Tatars killed them, enslaved their women and destroyed their homes. The evil and harm that they do to the Muslims cannot be enumerated by any man, no matter how eloquent he is. Some others – either Naasibis who oppose and have enmity towards al-Husayn and his family or ignorant people who try to fight evil with evil, corruption with corruption, lies with lies and bid’ah with bid’ah – opposed them by fabricating reports in favour of making the day of ‘Aashooraa’ a day of celebration, by wearing kohl and henna, spending money on one's children, cooking special dishes and other things that are done on Eids and special occasions. These people took the day of ‘Aashooraa’ as a festival like Eid, whereas the others took it as a day of mourning. Both are wrong, and both go against the Sunnah, even though the other group (the Rafidis) are worse in intention and more ignorant and more plainly wrong… But Allaah commands us to be just and to treat others well. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Those of you who live after my death will see many disputes. I urge you to adhere to my Sunnah and the sunnah of my rightly-guided successors (al-khulafa’ al-raashidoon) who come after me. Hold onto it as if biting it with your eyeteeth. Beware of newly-innovated matters, for every innovation is a going astray.” Neither the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) nor his rightly-guided successors (the khulafa’ al-raashidoon) did any of these things on the day of ‘Aashooraa’, they neither made it a day of mourning nor a day of celebration.
But “when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah, he saw the Jews fasting on the day of ‘Aashooraa’. He said, ‘What is this?’ They said, ‘This is the day when Allaah saved Moosa from drowning, so we fast on this day.’ He said, ‘We have more right to Moosa than you,’ so he fasted on that day and commanded [the Muslims] to fast on that day.”
Quraysh also used to venerate this day during the Jaahiliyyah. The day on which people were ordered to fast was just one day. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah it was Rabee’ al-Awwal, and the following year he fasted ‘Aashooraa’ and commanded the people to fast. Then in that year fasting in Ramadaan was made obligatory and fasting on ‘Aashooraa’ was abrogated. The scholars disputed as to whether fasting on that day (‘Aashooraa’) was waajib (obligatory) or mustahabb (encouraged). Of the two best known opinions, the more correct view is that it was waajib, then after that whoever fasted it did it because it was mustahabb. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not tell ordinary Muslims to fast on ‘Aashooraa’, but he used to say, “This is the day of ‘Aashooraa’; I am fasting on this day and whoever wishes to fast on this day may fast.” And he said: “Fasting on ‘Aashooraa’ expiates for the sins of one year and fasting on the day of ‘Arafaah expiates for the sins of two years.” When, towards the end of his life, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard that the Jews took the day of ‘Aashooraa’ as a festival, he said, “If I live until next year, I will certainly fast on the ninth” – to be different from the Jews, and not to resemble them in taking the day as a festival.
There were some of the Sahaabah and scholars who did not fast on this day and did not regard it as mustahabb, but thought it makrooh to single out this day for fasting. This was reported from a group of the Koofiyeen (scholars of Kufa). Some other scholars said that it was mustahabb to fast on this day. The correct view is that it is mustahabb for the one who fasts on ‘Aashooraa’ to fast on the ninth day [of Muharram] too, because this was the ultimate command of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as he said: “If I live until next year, I will certainly fast on the ninth as well as the tenth.” This was reported with a variety of isnaads. This is what is prescribed in the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
As for the other things, such as cooking special dishes with or without grains, or wearing new clothes, or spending money on one’s family, or buying the year’s supplies on that day, or doing special acts of worship such as special prayers or deliberately slaughtering an animal on that day, or saving some of the meat of the sacrifice to cook with grains, or wearing kohl and henna, or taking a bath (ghusl), or shaking hands with one another, or visiting one another, or visiting the mosques and mashhads (shrines) and so on… all of this is reprehensible bid’ah and is wrong. None of it has anything to do with the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or the way of the Khulafa’ al-Raashidoon. It was not approved of by any of the imaams of the Muslims, not Maalik, not al-Thawri, not al-Layth ibn Sa’d, not Abu Haneefah, not al-Oozaa’i, not al-Shaafa'i, not Ahmad ibn Hanbal, not Ishaaq ibn Raahwayh, not any of the imaams and scholars of the Muslims.
The religion of Islam is based on two principles: that we should worship nothing besides Allaah Alone, and that we should worship Him in the manner that He has prescribed, not by means of bid’ah or reprehensible innovations. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):“… So whoever hopes for the Meeting with his Lord, let him work righteousness and associate none as a partner in the worship of his Lord.” [al-Kahf 18:110].
Righteous deeds are those which are loved by Allaah and His Messenger, those which are prescribed in Islam and in the Sunnah. Thus ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) used to say in his du’aa’: “O Allaah, make all of my deeds righteous and make them purely for Your sake, and do not let there be any share for anyone or anything else in them.”
(The above is summarized from the words of Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah – may Allaah have mercy on him.Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 5). And Allaah is the Guide to the Straight Path.

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