Family Issues, - Love Her...

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Love her .when she sips on your coffee or tea. She only wants to make Sure it tastes just right for you.
Love her when she "pushes" you to pray. She wants to be with you in Jannah (Paradise).
Love her when she asks you to play with the kids. She did not "make" them on her own.
Love her when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have, she chose you
Love her when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You Have them too.
Love her when her cooking is bad. She tries.
Love her when she looks disheveled in the morning. She always grooms herself up again.
Love her when she asks to help with the kids homework. She only wants you to be part of the home.
Love her when she asks if she looks fat. Your opinion counts, so
Tell her she's beautiful.
Love her when she looks beautiful. She's yours so appreciate her.
Love her when she spends hours to get ready. She only wants to look her best for you.
Love her when she buys you gifts you don't like. Smile and tell her it's what you've always wanted.
Love her.when she has developed a bad habit. You have many more and With wisdom and politeness you have all the time to help her change.
Love her when she cries for absolutely nothing. Don't ask, tell her
Its going to be okay.
Love her.when she suffers from PMS. Buy chocolate, rub her feet and back and just chat to her.
Love her.when whatever you do is not pleasing. It happens and will pass.
Love her.when she stains your clothes. You needed a new thobe (kurta) anyway
Love her when she tells you how to drive. She only wants you to be safe.
Love her when she argues. She only wants to make things right for both of you.
Love her she is yours. You don't need any other special reason!!!!
All this forms part of a Woman's Character. Women are part of your Life and should be treated as the Queen.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) advised concerning the Woman: treat the women well. The best of you are those who are the best in the treatment of their wives.
No one honours the woman except an honorable man. And no one Humiliates her or holds her in contempt except one who is evil, vile, Wicked and depraved. Don't wait for that special occasion, take time Now to make her feel Special in Every Way.

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Personal, - Your Role in Treating Enuresis

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Is it possible that I could have a role?
Yes, dear caregiver, you are the one who plays the greatest role in treating your child's enuresis )bed-wetting(, particularly if it goes back to psychological causes.
Below is an outline of your role as clarified by physicians:
- To habituate your child to depend on himself from an early age until he gets accustomed to facing problems and tries to solve them under the supervision of his parents. A child who is habituated to depending on himself from a very early age rarely suffers from this problem.
- Habituate the child, from a very early age, to use the toilet correctly. These days, thanks to easy-to-use diapers, mothers slacken in training their children to use the toilet at an early age.
- Do not rebuke or beat your child as this may lead to negative reactions on the child’s side, or, perhaps, his insistence on wetting his bed as an objection to the rebuke and hitting. So, it is important to stop punishing the child and showing anger to him because of his bed-wetting problem, since showing anger because of this leads to tension and trouble, with which the enuresis continues.
- To accept this behavior as being natural and explaining it to the child gives him a feeling of security. Parents should alleviate the negative feelings about that condition and convince him that he is not the only one and that many children do the same, and that soon he will get over it.
- To provide the child with warm feelings, compassion and support. The parents should tell the child that they love him and by no means should they be angry with him.
- To encourage and even praise the child whenever he is able to control his urination.
- To put a monthly table and mark with red stars the nights on which he could control his urination. This way motivates him and helps him evaluate the situation and endeavor to overcome the problem with eagerness to receive the reward in the event of success.
- Serve dinner to the child at an early time and do not give him drinks after six in the evening, i.e. 2 to 3 hours before he goes to bed -- especially drinks that contain caffeine because it is a diuretic; however, do not leave the child thirsty.
- Do not give him foods that contain large amounts of water; such as watermelon, cucumber, and so on, before going to bed.
- Help the child have enough sleep during the night, and have an hour of sleep during the day, as this will help overcome the problem of deep sleep.
- It is necessary for the child’s food to be healthy and free of excessive spices, salts and sugars.
- Get the child to go to the toilet to urinate directly before sleep and awaken him during the night to go to the toilet for the same purpose.
- To observe the times at which the child urinates in bed and awaken him from sleep some minutes before those times to urinate. In this respect, the parents have to make it easy for the child to go to the toilet to urinate by keeping the toilet light switched on and making the child’s room near to the toilet, if it is possible. At the same time, this procedure should not be made a burden on the child. An adult should accompany him to the toilet if he is afraid of going alone at night.
- Switch on a faint light in the child's room to help him go to the toilet or change his clothes at night.
- Do not talk about the child’s problem with others in the child’s presence and do not make a comparison between him and his peers who do not face the same problem.
- Do not attribute to the child characteristics which he does not like and tackle the problem in secret.
- Be keen on the child's cleanliness and urge him to take a bath and change his clothes.
- It is better if the child sleeps alone on a separate bed.
- It is better to put bedding to absorb liquids, so that the child would be more comfortable.
- See a doctor to be sure whether this problem goes back to physical causes, and abide by the guidelines of the physician with regard to taking the medicine regularly at its due time.
- Train the urinary bladder to increase its capacity by getting the child to drink great quantities of liquids during the day and asking him to defer urination for some time, with increasing the time for which he should hold urine throughout many weeks, during which he would become able to control urination in a better way.
- If the child wakes up wet and weeping, the parent should change his clothes quietly, calm him and embrace him and sit by his side until he goes back to sleep.
- Provide a good family atmosphere for the children, and good communication. Parents should not quarrel in their children’s presence, and the children should feel they live in a house full of happiness and love.
- Boost the child's self-confidence by saying that the problem will inevitably get better with time; and if we succeed in solving it, the results would be better.
- Do not let the child listen to disturbing news particularly directly before bedtime.
- Limit the time the child sits in front of the TV and choose the programs he watches.
- Read relaxing stories to children before sleep to calm them.
- Alert his older siblings not to ridicule him because of this habit since this harms him and complicates his situation.
- Give the child the freedom to discuss his status with his physician if he is capable of doing so.
- Provide coverings and underclothes near the child, and encourage him to change them by himself in case of involuntary urination so that he feels responsible for this problem.
- Make the child change his bedsheet every time he fails to control urination.
- The family should ensure a quiet atmosphere in the house, particularly before the child goes to bed.
If the involuntary urination is traced to a psychological cause, it should be identified. We have mentioned that the child's enuresis is an indicator of a problem from which he is suffering. So, it is of great importance to know the specific nature of that problem. Knowing the cause that lies beyond his feeling of annoyance, depression, terror, and so on, helps us treat the causes of our children's displeasure. In this way, we would obtain a radical solution for the problem.
A lot of parents are mistaken when they think that the treatment of the children's enuresis is only to habituate the child to control urination. Whoever thinks, or does so, will not solve the root of the problem. Bed-wetting, as we have previously clarified, indicates a problem, and its disappearance does not mean that the problem itself has disappeared; in so much as it means that only its outward symptoms have disappeared. Some specialists say that it is true that the child may stop bed-wetting, but unless the problem underlying his annoyance is principally solved, he will express it through other abnormal behaviors. In this way, he only replaces one means of expression with another.
For example, he may become more introverted, more secluded, achieving less at school, to the end of this chain of undesirable behavior. Hence, the parents should look for the causes lying behind their children's suffering and try to improve the psychological atmosphere in which they live. It is of no use to order them to stop bed-wetting, while the family quarrels or their persecution remain the same, given that if these problems are solved, the bed-wetting would automatically diminish and it will be easy for us to try to stop it completely.

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Personal, - The Impact of Fasting on Blood Pressure

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Question:
I have a question regarding a drop in blood pressure: does it affect fasting? Please give me some details on the issue, and what are the cases of high blood pressure that could prevent a person from fasting?
Answer:
Assalaamu ‘Alaykum,
Perhaps you meant to ask about the impact fasting has on blood pressure. Blood pressure should not prevent a person from fasting unless it is high enough to require medication to maintain its level and one cannot wait until he breaks his fast to take such medication. Normally, such high blood pressure )diastolic 140( is accompanied by the failure of vital organs, like the kidneys, the retina, the heart or the lungs, and thus one cannot wait until she breaks his fast to consume the medication. This is also the case when the blood pressure is very low. However, normal blood pressure does not prevent one from fasting.
Does being a person with an abnormal blood pressure necessarily mean that he cannot fast? The answer to this is no, because he can schedule his medicine to be consumed after she breaks the fast. She can take all the needed doses from sunset to dawn, before she starts to fast. However, she must only do so after consulting her physician, because circumstances differ from one patient to another, and it also depends on the type of medication one must take. All these matters are usually stated on the prescription.

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Personal, - An Urgent Message to My Muslim Sisters in Ramadan

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Women andTaraaweehPrayer:
Ramadanis distinguished over other months by theTaraaweehprayer. Praise be to Allaah The Almighty, many women and girls are keen to performTaraaweehprayer in the mosques. However, dear sister, if you want to have your full reward, you should observe the following points and advise your daughters and sisters to observe them:
1-Girls and women should abide by theSharee‘ah-approvedHijaaband Islamic dress code when they go out to pray. They should not wear trousers, tight or short dresses, or fashionable apparel. They should wear a wide and clean dress for prayers.
2-The cloak should be thick, not transparent, not brocaded, not colored and not likely to attract attention.
3-The head cover should be large, long, not transparent and free from all forms of embroidery that attracts attention.
4-They should not wear any perfume or incense. Unfortunately, this action is widespread among women who perform prayers in mosques to the extent that their fragrance can be smelt from a long distance. In an authenticHadeeth, the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Any woman who wears perfume and passes by men so that they smell her perfume, she is an adulteress and every eye that looks at her is an adulterous eye."The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, also said:“Any woman who applies incense should not witness the ‘Ishaa' prayer with us.”]Abu Daawood[ Ibn Nufayl, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said that this refers to the late ‘Ishaa'. This does not mean, however, that women should not care about their personal hygiene or change their clothes everyday to avoid having a foul odor which may cause offense.
5-They should not move a lot from one place to another, or pass in front of those who are praying or make a fuss. They should not laugh in the mosque like some girls do, stirring and disturbing the women who are praying. They should not discuss worldly matters or things pertaining to the market while theImaamis talking or in the intervals between the prayers.
6-They should not carry pagers or mobile phones during the prayer, for angels hate music, and it distracts people and preventsKhushoo‘)submission( in prayer, especially with those strange mobile ring tones. Knowing that it is prohibited to listen to musical instruments in people's houses, what would the ruling be on listening to them in the House of Allaah?
7-They should not crowd around the mosque door when they are leaving to avoid intermixing with men. They should wait a little until the place is quiet and temptation no longer exists. They should not speak loudly with one another when they leave the mosque; rather, they should remain calm.
8-Some mothers go out to perform prayers and leave their young children in the house alone. These children might do dangerous things. We advise our sisters and mothers not to leave children alone in the house, so that the mother would not be shocked when she returns. We address every woman who seeks the reward of Allaah The Almighty that, in principle, it is preferable for women to perform prayer in their houses and that the reward for praying in the house is greater than the reward of praying in the mosque. It was narrated that the wife of Abu Humayd As-Saa‘idi, may Allaah be pleased with her, came to the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and said, “O Messenger of Allaah! I love to perform prayer with you.”He,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,replied:“I know that you love performing prayer with me, but performing prayer in your bedroom is better than performing it in your room; performing prayer in your room is better than performing it in ]any other part of[ your house; performing prayer in your house is better than performing it in the mosque of your people; performing prayer in the mosque of your people is better than performing it in my mosque.”Thereupon, she ordered for a prayer area to be made in the remotest and darkest place in her house where she remained performing prayer until she died. ]Saheeh Ibn Khuzaymah[
9-Some of our girls, may Allaah guide them, go out for the purpose of performingTaraaweehprayer in the mosque, but after the prayer is over they go off with some of their friends to the markets or other evil place where their parents do not expect them to go. The mother should take care of her adolescent girls and be sure that they are actually leaving to perform prayer and nothing else.
Finally, I would like to say that devils from mankind - while the devils from the Jinn are chained - will not leave you to enjoy the month ofRamadan. Rather, they will try to fill the gap that their brothers have left to ruin that month with television series, movies, video clips, quizzes, cheap songs and worthless programs. Thus, watch out for yourself and your house and do not let that month pass without benefiting from it, and be careful not to squander its reward. InRamadan, there is no time for such nonsense because it is too precious to be wasted. We ask Allaah The Almighty to makeRamadana good and blessed month for us and for all the Muslims. I wish for you all that is good inRamadan.

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