Fathwa, - Parents' interference in marriage

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Question
I was recently married but had not consummated my marriage and was waiting for my wife to send her immigration papers. What eventually happened is that my wife asked for divorce and the reason is due to her mother constantly talking about me in the negative? When I spoke to my father-in-law about this I found out that whatever me and my wife spoke of in private )through the internet or on the phone since these are the only 2 ways we could communicate( was known to them because she was informing them of everything happening. My question is that I was in a way forced into divorcing her because of her family's constant psychological torture to her. An example of which her mother would stop talking to her for long periods of time because she wanted this marriage to end. In any case I have not made any du3a against her family for ruining my marriage and betraying my trust in them to take care of my wife until her immigration papers are finished. What is the punishment for those who come between a man and his wife and force a divorce?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Allah the Exalted has legislated for His believing slaves the rulings that insure success and happiness here and the Hereafter if they put them into effect.
One of the most important matters the Shariah gives great attention to is marital relations. The Shariah contains many rulings pertaining to the marriage contract before and after it is established and how to solve disagreement if it occurs. The purpose of Shariah, as confirmed by the Muslim scholars, is either to bring benefits to the people or to complete them, or to protect people from harm or at least diminish such harms. So, the Shariah teaches us to reconcile relations between couples and to send two good mediators for this job. However, if it does not work then one may resort to separation as a last resort though it is not appreciated in Islamic Shariah. The Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( said:"If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden for her". ]Reported by four Imams of Books of Sunan[.
If the disagreement has reached point that they cannot continue the marriage and the wife is demanding divorce then a husband can ask for compensation. This kind of separation is called "Khul'a". Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(: }…Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allâh, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back )the Mahr or a part of it( for her Al-Khul' )divorce(. …{]2: 229[.
ImamBukharireported fromIbn Abbas )Radiya Allahu Anhu( that the wife ofThabit Bin Qaiscame to the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( and said:"O Allah's Messenger! I do not carp at Thabit concerning his religion or morals, but I fear dishonoring his rights'; then the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( said: "Will you give him back his orchard )i.e. which was given as her Mahr(?" She replied: 'Yes, and I returned it to him'; and the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( ordered Thabit to divorce her"]Reported by Imamal-Bukhari[.
It is strictly forbidden for the parents or anyone else to interfere in the matters of couples except for the purpose of making peace between them. So, what your wife's mother did is wrong and not permissible. The Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( said:"Whoever sows dissension among husband and wife is not one of us"]Abu Dawood[.
Also, it is not permissible for your wife to ask for divorce without any acceptable reason.
Despite the mistakes that are committed by your wife and her mother our advice is to avoid cursing them though it is permissible in Islam to curse those who are unjust. Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(: }Allâh does not like that the evil should be uttered in public except by him who has been wronged. …{]4: 148[.
Islam always encourages forgiveness and pardon. Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(: }And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives that would truly be from the things recommended by Allâh.{]42: 43[. He also Says )interpretation of meaning(: }…And to forego and give )her the full Mahr( is nearer to At-Taqwa )piety, righteousness, etc.(. …{]2: 237[.
So, do not curse them especially after the divorce has occurred. Know that Allah is not Careless about what the unjust are doing.
Allah knows best.








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Dought & clear, - Shar’i implications of husband’s zina with his wife’s mother before and after marriage

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There is a woman who is married, and her husband committed zina several times with her mother, but this wife does not know. What should she do with her mother and her husband? She is confused about her situation.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is not permissible for anyone to claim that someone else has committed zina unless that is proven in the way dictated by sharee’ah, such as a confession of the zaani, or the testimony of four men of good character who witnessed the act of zina. The one who claims that someone committed zina with no proof has committed slander, which is a major sin for which a person deserves eighty lashes; this is the hadd punishment for slander.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever. They indeed are the Faasiqoon (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allaah).
5. Except those who repent thereafter and do righteous deeds; (for such) verily, Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[al-Noor 24:4-5]
Secondly:
If the questioner has proof of what is mentioned in the question, that the husband committed the sin of zina with his wife’s mother, then it should be noted that they both deserve the punishment and wrath of Allaah, and they deserve to be punished in this world. As the woman is married, she deserves to be stoned to death. If he was married then he deserves the same, and if he committed zina before he was married, then the punishment is one hundred lashes.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment.”
[al-Noor 24:2]
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: A Muslim man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he was in the mosque and called out to him, saying: O Messenger of Allaah, I have committed zina. He turned away from him, so he came around to face him and said to him: O Messenger of Allaah, I have committed zina. He turned away from him, until he had repeated that four times. When he had testified against himself four times, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called him and said: “Are you insane?” He said: No. He said: “Are you married?” He said: Yes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Take him and stone him.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6439) and Muslim (1691).
“Married” refers to one who has previously been married and consummated the marriage, even if divorce took place after that or the husband or wife died.
Imam Ahmad said – according to one report narrated from him – concerning the one who does that: He is to be executed whatever the case, i.e., the one who commits zina with one of his mahrams is to be executed, whether he was married or not, and whether the mahram was a mahram through blood ties, marriage or breastfeeding.
Ibn Qudaamah said: This is also the view of Jaabir ibn Zayd, Ishaaq, Abu Ayyoob and Ibn Abi Khaythamah. End quote.Al-Mughni(12/341).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If the evil deed was done with a mahram, this is the worst of evil deeds, and the one who did that is to be executed in all cases, according to Imam Ahmad and others.
Rawdat al-Muhibbeenp. 374.
Does the fact that he committed zina with her mother mean that it is haraam for him to marry her daughter, or that the marriage should be annulled? There is a difference of opinion among the scholars concerning that. The most correct view is that it does not make the marriage haraam and the marriage should not be annulled.
The ruling on this matter has been stated and explained in detail in the answer to question no. 78597.
Thirdly:
What the wife must do now is:
1. Not act or make any decision about this matter unless she has definitive proof.
2. Advise her mother – if the accusation of zina is proven – that it is essential to repent sincerely.
3. Advise her husband to repent sincerely if he committed zina with her mother after she got married. It is essential to keep him away from her mother in living arrangements and meetings so that this deed will not be repeated. If he does not repent from this action then she should hasten to get divorced, and it is not permissible for her to stay with him, because Allaah has forbidden marriage of a zaani to a chaste believing woman.
We understand what a severe calamity has befallen this sister. How great is a woman’s grief, and difficult it is for her to bear it if her husband commits zina, and it is a thousand and one times more difficult to bear it when her mother commits zina, so how about if it is her husband who is committing zina with her mother? This is indeed a calamity!
We ask Allaah to relieve her distress and take away her sorrow, and to bless her with patience and wisdom.
But before making any major decision, we advise her to think long and hard about the consequences.
If she decides to leave her husband, then in that case can she live in the same house as her mother, who is the one who did that and wrecked her marriage?
We think, if she has no suitable place to go and no mahram who can take care of her, that staying with her husband and advising him to repent and mend his ways is easier for her than getting divorced and living in her mother’s house.
This sister should weigh up the consequences of her decision. Some evils are easier to bear than others.
And Allaah knows best.







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Dought & clear, - Attributionof an illegitimate child and rulings that result from that

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Thirty-two years ago an illegitimate child was born to a foreign kitaabi woman (i.e. Jewish or Christian woman). He is a young man of very good character and with a good heart. When he reached the age of 25, he started to look for his parents. He found his mother, and he found me, the father, a week ago. It has been proven by DNA testing that I am the father. I got married 31 years ago to a Muslim woman, and I have a daughter and two sons from her, and I have 4 grandchildren. Praise be to Allaah Who guided me, I came back to fear of Allaah and I am religiously-committed: I pray and give zakaah, and I did Hajj and ‘Umrah 3 years ago, my wife and I. I ask Allaah to guide me always and help me to repent.
I hope that you can advise me: is he a mahram for my wife and daughter? Is he a brother to my children? Should I regard him as one of the family? I hope that you can explain everything that has to do with the matter.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We ask Allaah to pardon us and you, and to help us to repent properly and turn to Him, and to bless us with good and righteous offspring by His grace and bounty.
Remember that repentance and guidance are the best things that a person may be blessed with in this world; they are the greatest blessings that Allaah can bestow upon us. So we must be grateful to Allaah for them, and strive to renew them. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray to Allaah for forgiveness and repent to him one hundred times every day, as was narrated by Muslim (2702).
Secondly:
With regard to the attribution of illegitimate children, the fuqaha’ have discussed this issue in detail and they said that one of two scenarios must apply to the woman with whom zina is committed:
1 – Either she is married, in which case any child who is born to her is to be attributed to the husband and not to anyone else, even if she is certain that he is the child of the one with whom she committed zina, unless the husband disowns the child by means of li’aan, in which case the child is not attributed to the husband, rather he is to be attributed to his mother and not to the zaani (adulterer).
2 – Or she is not married. If an unmarried woman has a child, the scholars differed as to whether the child should be attributed to his father, the zaani, or to his mother. There are two opinions, which have been discussed and the evidence for them quoted, in the answer to question no. 33591. See also the answers to questions no. 117, 2103and 3625. There it says that the correct view is that this attribution is not valid, so it is not permissible to attribute the illegitimate child to the zaani, rather he should be attributed to his mother, even if there is certainty that this child was fathered by this zaani.
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(20/387):
The correct scholarly view is that the child is not to be attributed to the man who had intercourse with the woman, unless intercourse took place within the framework of a valid or invalid marriage or something that may be taken as a marriage contract or concubinage or something that may be taken as concubinage. In such cases, the child may be attributed to the man who had intercourse with the woman, and they may inherit from one another. But if it was a case of zina then the child cannot be attributed to the zaani. Based on that, he cannot inherit from him. End quote.
It also says inFataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(22/34):
With regard to the illegitimate child, he is to be attributed to his mother, and he comes under the same rulings as any other Muslim if his mother is a Muslim. He is not to be blamed or put to shame for his mother’s crime or the crime of the one who committed zina with her, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And no bearer of burdens shall bear another’s burden”
[Faatir 35:18]
End quote.
Thirdly:
It is well known that attribution of lineage affects many rulings such as rulings on breastfeeding, custody, guardianship, maintenance, inheritance, qasaas, the hadd punishment for stealing, slander, testimony etc. Because the more correct view is that the illegitimate child cannot be attributed to the zaani, none of the rulings mentioned above can be proven to apply to the father of the illegitimate child, rather many of them apply to the mother.
But the illegitimate father (the zaani) is still affected by the rulings forbidding marriage. According to the majority of scholars, the rulings forbidding marriage still apply between the illegitimate child and his father and his father’s relatives.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
It is haraam for a man to marry his illegitimate daughter, or his illegitimate sister, or his (illegitimate) son’s daughter, or his daughter’s daughter, or his brother’s daughter, or his sister who is illegitimate. This is the view of most of the fuqaha’. End quote.
Al-Mughni(7/485).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about an illegitimate daughter –can she marry her father?
He replied:
Praise be to Allaah. The view of the majority of scholars is that it is not permissible to marry her. This is definitely the correct view. End quote.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa(32/134).
It says inal-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah(36/210):
It is haraam for a man to marry his illegitimate daughter, because of the clear meaning of the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters…”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23]
because she is his daughter in a real sense and in linguistic terms and she was created from his water (i.e. sperm), so the illegitimate son is forbidden (in marriage) to his mother.
This is the view of the Hanafis and of the Maalikis and Hanbalis. End quote.
Fourthly:
Based on the above, it is not permissible for this illegitimate son of yours to marry your daughters, so they are his like sisters. The same applies to your wife.
But that does not mean that he is a mahram for them in the sense that they may be alone with him and take off their hijab in his presence. Prohibition of marriage does not always mean that one is a mahram in the sense that it is permissible to be alone with the person etc. This is an additional ruling which applies only to the shar’i mahrams, so attention must be paid to that.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Zina means that a person is forbidden in marriage, but it does not make the person a mahram or make it permissible to look (at a member of the opposite sex). End quote.
Al-Mughni(7/482).
This does not mean that you should not treat this young man kindly and strive to bring him to Islam and make him a member of the family, but he should not be attributed to his illegitimate father, and the issue of the daughters of the family observing hijab in front of him should not be taken lightly. We ask Allaah to bless you and guide you.
And Allaah knows best.









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