Dought & clear, - He had anal intercourse with a foreign woman but they have repented. Is it permissible forthem to get married?

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We had anal intercourse, but we repented and regretted. We love each other very much we cannot separate. We want to marry and live a happy life. Is it permissible for us to get married?
We follow the ibadhi madhab, and it prohibits marriage between a man and a woman who committed adultry even if they repent. The evidence for this is that Umar ibn al-khattab separated a man who married a woman during her ‘iddah and said: “they shall never be togeather”, another evidence narrated by Ali, A’esha, and albaraa ben azeb, that “if a man and awoman who committed adultry got married, their relationship remains adultry forever”. Trust cannot be there between two who tested each other before marriage. What is your opinion?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
You should understand that looking for the right opinion on practical fiqhi matters is something good, and it indicates that a person is seeking the truth that Allaah has enjoined. Even better than this is that a Muslim should look for the correct belief that will save him from the misguided sects which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke of. He said that there would be seventy-two sects, “all of which will be in the Fire” meaning that they are misguided and deserve this warning of Hell.
If you both regret what you did and have repented sincerely, then it is permissible for you to get married, and there is no reason why you should not do so.
As for what you say about ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab preventing the one who married a woman during her ‘iddah from ever marrying her, it seems – if this is a sound report – that this was a punishment (ta’zeer) to the one who committed a sin, and it was not a confirmation of a shar’i ruling that this is haraam.
What you have quoted from some of the Sahaabah, that they ruled that a couple who committed zina and then get married would remain adulterers forever, may be understood as applying to those who did not repent.
Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
It was narrated from Ibn Mas’ood that he said concerning the one who marries a woman after committing zina with her: They are still adulterers. Then he narrated that Saalim ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar was asked about a man who committed zina with a woman then married her. He said: Ibn Mas’ood was asked about that and he said:“And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves” [al-Shoora 42:25].
Ibn Hazm said:
The two opinions (of Ibn Mas’ood) are in harmony, because he only allowed marrying that woman after repentance. End quote.
Al-Muhalla(9/63)
And Allaah knows best.




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For children, - Anger management tips and techniques according to Islamic teachings

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Noble Qur'an says, "And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Shaitan (Satan), then seek refuge in Allah, He is hearing and knowing." (7:200) and Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "If a man gets angry and says, 'I seek refuge with Allah,' his anger will go away."
Therefore when someone is angry he should immediately say "A'udhu billahi minash shaitanir rajim." Meaning, I seek shelter in Allah (SWT) from the rejected Satan.
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as)said: "Verily, anger is a spark ignited by the Shaitan (Satan) in the human heart. Indeed, when anyone of you gets angry, his eyes become red, the veins of his neck become swollen and Shaitan (Satan) enters them. Therefore, whosoever among you is concerned about himself on account of it, he should lie down for a while so that the filth of Shaitan (Satan) may be removed from him at the time."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) has said, "Anger is from Shaitan, Shaitan is from fire; fire is put out by water; so when one is angry he should do Wudu (Ablution)."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) has said, when one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.
Be silent, don't speak. Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) has said, "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent."
Divert attention away from the cause of anger and participate in strenuous physical activity aiming at letting steam out and relaxing muscles.
Try to pinpoint the exact reasons why you feel angry. Once you identified the problem, consider coming up with different strategies on how to remedy the situation.
Forgive and forget. Remember the rewards and virtues of patience, mercy and forgiveness. Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; Allah loves those who do good. ( Noble Qur'an, 3:134)









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Personal, - A Day in the Life of a Muslim Woman - I

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Normal and everyday activities become acts of worship if they are done for the sake of pleasing Allaah. The regular and consistent deeds are the best among these deeds. `Aa`ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said that Allaah’s Messenger, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said:"The deeds most loved by Allaah are those done regularly, even if they are small.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ This means that we do not need to do anything spectacular in our day to obtain rewards from Allaah, but we should establish some type of routine that incorporates not only the prayer but also reciting the Quran, Du’aa` )supplication(, Thikr )mention of Allaah(, and other good deeds. This will increase the serenity, patience, and enthusiasm of the believer.
Early morning
This article is the first in a series aimed at bringing the spiritual side in the everyday life of a married Muslim woman:
Wake at night to perform Tahajjud.The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said:"The best )most rewarding prayer after the obligatory prayer is Tahajjud, night prayer.”]Ahmad and Muslim[ It is best to do this toward the last third of the night as the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said:“Allaah descends every night in the last third of the night ]in a way that befits His majesty[ and says: Is there anyone invoking Me that I may respond to his invocation? Is there anyone asking of Me so that I may grant him his request? Is there anyone asking My Forgiveness, so that I may forgive him?"]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ It is even better if the husband and wife perform the Tahajjud together as the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said:“When a man wakes his wife up at night and they perform two Rak'ah together, they are written down among the men and women who remember Allaah."]Abu Daawood[ After this prayer, one can return to bed until the Fajr prayer.
Upon awakening in the morning, say this Du`aa`:"Al-Hamdu Lillaah, praise be to Allaah who brought me to life after giving me death, and to Him is the resurrection."]Al-Bukhaari[ One should also greet the other members of the household who are awake. The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said:"O my son )to Anas(, when you enter to where your family is, say Salaam. It is a blessing on you and on the people of your house."]At-Tirmithi[
When getting dressed, say this Du`aa`:"AI-Hamdu Lillaah, praise be to Allaah, who clothed me with this, and who provided me with it, without any power or might of mine.”]Abu Daawood[
Make Wudu or Ghusl )except for menstruating or postnatal women(:
Du`aa` when entering the bathroom:“In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, I seek refuge in You from the male and female devils."]Abu Daawood[
Be sure to use the left hand in the bathroom:“`Aa`ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said that the right hand was used by Allaah’s Messenger for his ablution and for taking food, and his left hand was used in the toilet and the like.”]Abu Daawood[
Say “Bismillaah” and make Wudu )ablution(. It is also encouraged to use the Miswak or toothbrush, although it is not an obligatory aspect of Wudu. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said:“If I had not found it difficult for my followers, I would have ordered them to clean their teeth with Miswak for every prayer.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
Du`aa` after finishing Wudu:“I testify that there is no god but Allaah, Alone, having no partner; and I testify that Muhammad, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, is His servant and Messenger, O Allaah, make me of those who continually repent and purify themselves.”]At-Tirmithi[
Du`aa` when leaving the bathroom,")I ask for( Your forgiveness."]Abu Daawood[
Perform Fajr Prayer: 2 Rak'ah of Sunnah and the two obligatory Rak’ah )except for menstruating or post-natal women(. It is important to remember that the prayer should be completed soon after the time has begun. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, was asked which deed was loved most by Allaah, The Exalted. He, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said:"The prayer which is performed at its time."]Al-Bukhaari[ Even if a woman is busy with another task, she should interrupt this and perform her Prayer .
A woman should try to develop Khushoo` )sincere submission( in prayer since this will be the first thing that she will be accountable for on Judgment Day. The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said:"When you stand up for your Prayer , make it as if it was your last Prayer ; do not say a word for which you will have to make an excuse the coming day; and build no hope on what is in the hands of men."]Ahmad[
It is often asked if women need to make the Athaan and Iqaamah if they are leading the Prayer or praying by them selves. This is not required for women, although they may do it if they wish. In terms of the manner of performing the prayer, a woman's prayer is no different from that of a man's.
Recite the Quran.Early morning is often a good time to recite the Quran, especially if the children are still sleeping and the house is quiet. This allows one to fully concentrate and obtain the most benefit. The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said:")The recital of( the Quran at dawn is always witnessed - the angels of the night and the angels of the day witness it."]At-Tirmithi[ If one's spouse is available, this would be the ideal time to strengthen the marriage by reciting the Quran together and praising Allaah for His blessings. The issue of women touching the Quran during menstruation is often debated. Most scholars say that a woman should not touch the Quran during this time. However, even if she does not, she may still recite from memory or listen to tapes if she fears she may forget the Quran. This should be an incentive to memorize larger portions of the Quran, which can also be done during this early morning time.
Work on a project that will benefit the Muslim community in some way.Before the children awake and after reciting the Quran, it would be a good time to put energy into some project of interest to which one is committed. This may include such things as acquiring more Islamic knowledge by reciting or listening to tapes, writing articles, preparing for circles, developing some type of program )such as a Children's circle, Muslim scouting program, etc.(, keeping in touch with other sisters through e-mail, social service projects, etc. There are many opportunities for sisters to benefit themselves )through Allaah's rewards( and the community.
Mid and late morning
Prepare a healthy breakfast for the family. It is important to remember that the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, used to eat a very healthy food such as dates, cucumbers, bread, meat, milk, etc…. Much of the unhealthy food that we have now was obviously not available at the time of the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam. It is best to avoid processed foods and to use items that are the most natural. Allaah Knows what is best for His Creation and He has provided us with all that we need. We should take care of our children's physical needs in the best manner possible. Cleanliness is also an important element of the Islamic faith and should be observed in all matters, especially in food preparation and eating.
Du`aa` when beginning the meal."O Allaah! Bless whatever You provided for us and save us from the punishment of the Hellfire. Bismillaah."The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, told a boy who was attending a meal with him:"... Mention the name of Allaah, and eat with your right hand and eat of the food that is nearer to you."]Al-Bukhaari[ Spend some time in conversation during the meal since this was encouraged by the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam.
Duaa after finishing the meal"Praise be to Allaah, who gave us to eat and to drink and made us Muslims."]Abu Daawood and At-Tirmithi[ It is important to remember not to overeat due to the unhealthiness of this behavior for physical and spiritual reasons. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said:"The son of Adam fills no vessel more displeasing to Allaah than his stomach. A few morsels should be enough for him to preserve his strength. If he must fill it, then he should allow a thin his food, a third for his food, a third for his drink and leave a third empty for easy breathing."]At-Tirmithi[ Overeating can lead to laziness and lethargy, and make acts of worship seem laborious, making it more likely that one will delay or avoid them.
Spend quality time with the children.Older children may need to be sent off to school, while younger children will continue to require the attention of their mother. Raising children is the most important and most honorable role for a woman. It is essential to include quality time with the children in a busy daily schedule. This should be given priority over household chores and other activities, although it should not interfere with obligatory acts of worship. Quality time may include such things as reading books about Islam, teaching Arabic, reciting the Quran together, playing games, going to the park, and much more. The emphasis should be on the children's spiritual, intellectual, emotional and physical development. Doing this early in the day also makes it more likely that children will be content to play with themselves later on, freeing time for other activities.
Perform Ad-Dhuhaa prayer:Abu Hurayrah said:"My friend )the Prophet( advised me to observe three things, not to abandon them till I die; to fast three days a month, to perform two Rak’ah of Dhuhaa )forenoon( Prayer , and to perform Witr before sleeping."]Bukhaari and Muslim[ This is one of the forgotten Sunnah of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, that needs to be revived. Two or more Rak’ah should be prayed some time after the sun rises until a few moments before noon. The preferred time is when it is extremely hot, which usually occurs around the hour before noon. A mother has a wonderful opportunity to renew this Sunnah by teaching her children from a very young age. Have a peaceful and blessed morning!





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