Dought & clear, - She claimed that she was pregnant with a child from him and had an abortion, and he paid the expenses

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A woman who has a bad reputation and behaves badly claimed that she was pregnant from a friend of mine that she was pregnant. He is married with a young daughter and he swears that he has never had intercourse with her, although something happened between them, but it did not reach the level of intercourse. But she insisted that he was the father of the child in her womb. The solution was that she went to a doctor to abort the child, and because he was afraid of exposure and embarrassment that this woman could cause – because he is married and has a daughter, as I said – he paid for the abortion expenses. It turned out that she was pregnant with a child whose age was six days shy of three months. He deeply regrets what he did, and paying for the expenses of aborting a child whose conception he had nothing to do with.
My question is:
What is the Islamic ruling on this action? How can he repent from this deed? Is he regarded as a partner in the killing? How can he repent sincerely to Allaah from what happened? What should he have done, according to sharee’ah, when this girl claimed that he was the father of the child in her womb? I would like an answer soon. May Allaah reward you with good.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty)”
[al-Talaaq 65:2]
Your friend did not fear Allaah, so He did not grant him a way out. You say that he was intimate with that woman, but he did not have intercourse with her. This is taking lightly and being heedless about doing a haraam action with that woman, which is what led him to commit the second crime (abortion) and made him unable to ward off accusations against him and stand up to this woman properly, because he knew in his heart that he was not chaste and did not resist doing haraam things, even though Allaah has blessed him with a wife and a legitimate marriage. How can a wise man refrain from good, halaal pleasure and replace it with haraam and enjoy it?
If your friend had kept himself chaste, Allaah would have granted him a way out, but he transgressed the sacred limits of Allaah and was punished by being caused to fall into another sin. As one of the salaf said: One of the punishments of sin is further sin, just as the reward for good deeds is more good deeds.
Secondly:
So long as there is still some goodness in your friend, which is indicated by his regret for what has happened and his desire to repent, then he should note that repentance is not valid and accepted unless it meets three conditions:
1 – Regret for what he has done.
2 – Giving up the sin. So he must cut off all ties with this evil woman. It is strange that you say that your friend has a daughter. Would he like that for his daughter? No one would want this for their daughters.
So he cannot repent if he is still in touch with this woman or any other.
3 – He should resolve firmly never to go back to this sin again, and he should resolve to refrain from haraam things and protect himself and his family. He should beware lest he be tested with regard to the closest of people to him as a punishment for what he has done.
He should strive hard in acts of worship, and pray regularly on time with the congregation in the mosque if he was careless about that before. He should read Qur’aan a great deal and attend classes, and give a lot of money in charity.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)”
[Ta-Ha 20:82]
Let him make this sin the beginning of something good for him, by turning to Allaah and keeping away from sin. Many people may be better after sinning and repenting than they were before, if they repent properly and strive to better themselves.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.







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For children, - Anger (Ghadab) and Islam: Anger management skills and techniques in Islam

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Anger is one of the conditions of the soul, and possesses three states.
1.The state of excess, which is defined as what would put one outside the bounds of Islam religion and its laws.
2.The state of deficiency, which is defined as the state in which one fails to take a violent action even though it is necessary for his self defense.
3.The state of moderation, in which anger is stimulated in appropriate and permissible circumstances. Thus it is clear that the first and the second states are amongst the vices of the soul (diseases of soul), while the third is amongst ethical virtues produced by courage.
Excessive anger is a fatal disease, which can be considered as a type of temporary madness. When it subsides, it is immediately followed by remorse and repentance, which represent healthy responses of a rational person.
Anger (Ghadab), Bad Temper and Human Vice according to Islamic teachings
Anger is a secret weapon of man towards evil but in the state of excess, it results in the destruction of many noble qualities. It snatches away the wisdom of man and thus he becomes a brute beast devoid of any sense. Anger is a temptation and deception of Shaytaan. Anger is the root of all evils. Anger is a spark of fire that is always bursting. Anger is a very bad condition that weakens the person Imaan (Faith). Anger is the strong feeling caused by extreme displeasure and hostility.
Imam Ali (as)has said: "Anger is a stroke of madness, since the afflicted later feels remorse and regrets. If someone does not feel any remorse after anger, it means that his madness has become fixed."
Imam Ali (as) has also said: "Protect yourself from anger for its beginning is insanity and its end is remorse."
Moreover, absolute absence of anger is also a vice, which drags man into humiliation, subjugation and inability to defend his rights. In order to cure excessive anger, one must first remove its causes. These may be pride, selfishness, stubbornness, greed and other such vices. One must also consider how unseemly excessive anger is, and how evil its consequences may be.
Secondly, he must examine the benefits of forbearance and self-restraint and associate with people who possess these qualities. He must also realize that Allah's (SWT) power is supreme, and everything is under His command, which would make him realize his own weakness compared with the infinite power of Allah (SWT).
Thirdly, he should know that a person in a state of anger is not loved by Allah (SWT); moreover, he may do something in anger, of which he will be ashamed later on.
The opposite of anger is mildness and forbearance characteristics which count amongst perfect qualities of the soul. They make a person forgiving and merciful, although he may have complete power to take revenge.
Noble Qur'an says: Keep to forgiveness, and enjoin what is fair, and turn away from the ignorant. (7:199)
And Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)has said: "Forgiveness raises a man's station; forgive so that Allah (SWT) may honour you."







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Family, - Mutual Rights - Good Companionship - III

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One day, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, told ’Aa‘ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, the lengthy Hadeeth of Umm Zar‘, which was narrated by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, and was explained by some scholars in volumes due to its enormous pearls of wisdom and meanings. After the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, told 'Aa‘ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, how Abu Zar' treated his wife Umm Zar', the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“I am to you like Abu Zar‘ to Umm Zar‘.”He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, meant by this that he was perfect in good companionship and intimacy, just like Abu Zar' was with Umm Zar'.
In happy and cheerful moments, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, brought happiness and cheer to his family. It was authentically narrated that on the day of ‘Eed the Abyssinian boys arrived and played with spears in the mosque. Just look at the perfect Sharee‘ah of Islam and its sublime mission! On that day of 'Eed which is characterized by happiness, the souls need a type of peace and affinity to remove the state of apathy and weariness. On that day, the Abyssinians entered the mosque of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and paraded with their spears. Just look where the parade was held; it was held in the second most sacred House of Allaah, the Mosque of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam!
The mosque was taken as a place where people played with spears on the day of 'Eed because it was a merry occasion. Islam is a religion of perfection that gives everything its due right and estimation. 'Aa‘ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, wanted to feel happy on that day. She, may Allaah be pleased with her, wanted to watch the Ethiopians parading with their spears. She, may Allaah be pleased with her, asked the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to let her see the parade, so how did the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, reply to her? Did he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, tell her that she was immature or that she was wasting her time? Did he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, start reminding her that Paradise and Hell were approaching? No. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, stood up on his noble feet to allow her to watch the Ethiopians, not for the purpose of watching for its own sake, but because he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, knew that this standing would please Allaah The Almighty. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who was the cream and most perfect of creation, kept standing to please Allaah without the least feeling of blemish or belittlement, because he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, felt that he was bringing affection, love and happiness to his family and translating his true love and perfect marriage by his standing. For that reason, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the best husband to his wife, and his behavior represents the perfect and best guidance for the Muslim who wants to live equitably with his wife.
His wife would prepare his food and drink, and when he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gathered with his family, beloved persons and wife under one roof, he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would not say unpleasant words to her. If he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, found the food delicious, he would praise and appreciate it and thank the one who prepared it after thanking Allaah The Almighty. If he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, found fault with it, he would not dispraise or criticize it, nor would he dispraise the one who cooked it.
Living equitably requires sacrifice, true love and mutual emotions that indicate perfection in marriage and intimacy. Therefore, the guidance of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is the most perfect guidance.
It was authentically narrated that 'Aa‘ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said that she would bring broth or milk to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and though he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the one who requested it, he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would insist that she drink before him. 'Aa‘ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was a noble woman and daughter of a noble man, so she did not accept drinking before the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and preserved his right. When she gave him the drink, he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would ask her to drink first, and when she refused, he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would insist by taking an oath that she would drink first. As a result, she would take the container and drink and after that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would put his mouth in the same spot that her mouth had been. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not do so without reason; rather, he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, wanted to let her know her value and to show her his love and affection. That is because just as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, sought closeness to his Lord through prostration and bowing to Him, he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, also sought closeness to Him through comforting his wife's heart, bringing her happiness and making her cheerful. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, sought closeness to Allaah by teaching the Ummah )Muslim nation( perfect manners and the best ways of treating families and wives.
These are very important matters that a Muslim should pay attention to. Sometimes the wife needs to feel happy in her home, so if the Muslim wants to make her so he should adopt the guidance of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Sometimes she wants to feel happy outside the house, so we find that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would go out with his wife to Qubaa' and race her. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his wife started running, and she would beat him. Later, when she gained weight, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, raced her again and this time he beat her, saying: “Tit for tat.” All these things represent love and kind treatment in lifestyle.
Whenever man looks at, reflects upon or studies well the guidance of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, he will surely find good companionship in its perfect manner and best form, since he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the most perfect man in living equitably with his family. Muslim homes will never be happy until these warm emotions are observed. Look at the man who treats his wife with these true feelings and emotions and how Allaah blesses his family and wife. He surely leads a happy and serene life, since whoever fears Allaah, carries out His orders and lives in kindness with his wife, Allaah rewards him by granting them a happy life and good companionship. The same thing applies to the woman who fears Allaah and lives in kindness with her husband. They will only hear and see what makes them happy. Therefore, a Muslim should abide by the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in fulfilling this great duty.
There is another very important point that we should consider, namely, the lack of reward for not reciprocating good companionship. In other words, it is very difficult for the husband to show affection, mercy and kindness to his wife while the wife in return shows misbehavior, harm, contempt or disobedience. Similarly, it is very difficult for the wife to show warm emotions, kind feelings and good manners to her husband, while he in return treats her with painful, harsh and hurtful sentiments that devastate her. So, what should Muslim spouses do?
Some scholars have said that the greatest and most perfect reward for good companionship takes place when the husband who observes good companionship with his wife is mistreated, or when the wife who observes good companionship with her husband is mistreated. This is the truest form of good companionship. One day, a man said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I maintain kinship ties with my relatives, but they sever them; I give them, but they deprive me; and I pardon them, but they are rough to me.” The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:“If you are as you say, it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes.”]Muslim[ This means that the man was the winner as he had gained the reward. Allaah who does not allow the reward of those who do good deeds to go astray.
Spouses who treat one another kindly are expecting a good reward and a happy end from Allaah The Almighty. A husband should not wait for a reward from his wife; he should wait for that from Allaah The Almighty. Every Muslim who wishes to possess good and perfect manners should not hope for reward from other people; rather, he should always be watchful of Allaah and abide by His Laws, not to have his goodness or kindness rewarded with a similar attitude, but to gain appreciation from Allaah who is above the seven heavens. He should do so in order to find his kind words, manners and good treatment written in the record of his good deeds on a Day when the contents of the graves will be scattered and that which is within the breasts exposed. If the man adopts good manners and proves to be a kind husband while his wife is evil and harms him, he should be patient. Perhaps Allaah will compensate him with something better.
Talking about Zakariyya )Zachariah(, may Allaah exalt his mention, Allaah Says )what means(:}And amended for him his wife.{]Quran 21:90[ Some scholars commented on this verse saying that when Allaah tested Zakariyya, may Allaah exalt his mention, by depriving him of offspring, he earnestly turned to Allaah in supplication. Allaah Says )what means(:}]This is[ a mention of the mercy of your Lord to His servant Zechariah. When he called to his Lord a private supplication. He said, “My Lord, indeed my bones have weakened, and my head has filled with white, and never have I been in my supplication to You, my Lord, unhappy. And indeed, I fear the successors after me, and my wife has been barren, so give me from Yourself an heir.”{]Quran 19:2-5[
Prophet Zakariyya, may Allaah exalt his mention, supplicated to Allaah at the age of one hundred and twenty without despair of His Mercy. He supplicated to Allaah at the end of his life to grant him a child, and Allaah fulfilled his need and more out of His Bounty. It always happens that when a person supplicates Allaah with certainty in troubles and hardships, Allaah answers his supplication and grants him even more than what he asked for. Thus, Allaah says )what means(:}And amended for him his wife.{]Quran 21:90[ Allaah granted him Yahya )John(, may Allaah exalt his mention, and amended his wife. Some scholars said that his wife would insult and harm him and that she was ill-mannered and harsh with him; yet, he, may Allaah exalt his mention, remained patient with her until the end of his life. Accordingly, Allaah compensated him by granting him a child and making his wife religiously observant who lived equitably with him.
Hence, if the man lives equitably with his wife and finds good in her, he should praise Allaah The Almighty; otherwise, he should be patient, fully believing that Allaah does not allow the reward of the person who does good deeds to go astray. This also applies to wives whose good companionship is returned with ill-treatment by their husbands. She should expect that Allaah would compensate her for her patience and comfort her pains, and compensate her in her religion, life and the Hereafter.






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