Dought & clear, - Ruling on being intimate with a non-mahram woman without intercourse

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What is the ruling on being intimate with a non-mahram woman without intercourse in the vagina? Is anal intercourse regarded as sodomy?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is by Allah’s wisdom that when He forbids a thing He forbids the things that lead to it, because indulging in things that may lead to haraam may make the heart inclined towards it, in such a way that the individual develops a psychological conflict between falling into this sin or the suffering that results from standing in the middle of the road, so that he is not shunning the haraam thing entirely, with the peace of mind that comes from keeping away from it, nor is he committing the sin and fulfilling the desires of his self that is inclined towards evil. In most cases of this type, the person will fall into major sins that he thought he would never commit, major sins that corrupt his religious and worldly affairs, ruin his life, and destroy the blessing in his wealth and children, as a befitting punishment for his sin, because he moved away from his Lord and transgressed His sacred limits, and did not care that Allaah was watching him and was aware of what he was doing. The wise man is the one who is not careless about things that lead to real disasters that affect his religious commitment, which is a man’s capital and comes before any worldly consideration.
The one who thinks about this question will realize that it is impossible for a man to reach that level of evil and then be able to control himself and refrain from falling into that great sin, which is as nothing compared to the anger and wrath of Allaah and the corruption that it causes, all just for the sake of the short-lived pleasure that the sinner is trying to achieve, which will be followed by never-ending regret.
The Muslim has to understand things as they are and what they lead to, and not be tempted by the things that the Shaytaan makes attractive, or be deceived when the Shaytaan tries to make him think of evil actions as insignificant as a trick to make people join his party of losers. He has to fear Allaah his Lord in private and in public, and know that Allaah sees him and knows his intentions and his actions, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allaah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal”
[Ghaafir 40:19]
He should remember that what is with Allaah is better and more lasting, and that the Hereafter and its blessings are better for him than this world, and that the reward for being patient in abstaining from evil actions is Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, in which there is whatever a person could want of absolute and untainted pleasure.
For more information on the ruling please see question no. 27259
Secondly:
Anal intercourse, if done with a man, is homosexuality which is condemned in the Qur’aan and Sunnah.
It was one of the causes of the destruction of a nation, namely the people of Loot, the Prophet of Allaah.
With regard to anal intercourse with a woman: if this is with one's wife, it is not permissible, and is known as “lesser sodomy”, so how about if it is with a woman who is not permissible for him?
(a) What was narrated concerning sodomy:
Ibn Hazam said:
The action of the people of Loot is a major sin and a forbidden immoral action, like eating pork, dead meat and blood, drinking alcohol, committing adultery, and all other sins. Whoever regards it as permissible or regards any of the things we have mentioned as permissible is a kaafir and a mushrik, whose blood may be shed and whose wealth may be seized.
Al-Muhalla, 12/389
Ibn Qudaamah said:
The scholars are unanimously agreed that sodomy is forbidden. It was condemned by Allaah in His Book, and by the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And (remember) Loot (Lot), when he said to his people: ‘Do you commit the worst sin such as none preceding you has committed in the ‘Aalameen (mankind and jinn)?
Verily, you practise your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins)’”
[al-A’raaf 7:80]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “May Allaah curse those who do the deed of the people of Loot, may Allaah curse those who do the deed of the people of Loot, may Allaah curse those who do the deed of the people of Loot.”
Al-Mughni, 9/59
Ibn al-Qayyim narrated from his shaykh Ibn Taymiyah and from others that there was consensus among the Sahaabah that the one who does the deed of the people of Loot should be put to death, but they differed as to how that should be done.
Zaad al-Ma’aad, (5/40). For more details on the ruling see also question no. 10050.
(b) What was narrated concerning anal intercourse with a woman:
Anal intercourse with a woman is a major sin, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed the one who does that.
Abu Dawood (2162) narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Cursed is the one who has intercourse with his wife in her back passage.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood. This curse applies to one who has anal intercourse with his wife, so how about if the woman is a stranger (non-mahram) to him?
Al-Tirmidhi (135) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has intercourse with a menstruating woman or with a woman in her back passage, or who goes to a soothsayer, has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
If a man and wife agree to anal intercourse and do not stop after being punished (with a ta’zeer punishment), then they are to be separated.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked about a man who has intercourse with his wife in her back passage.
He replied:
Having anal intercourse with a woman is haraam, according to the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and this is the view of the majority of earlier and later scholars. Indeed, this is “lesser sodomy”. It was proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah is not too shy to tell the truth. Do not have intercourse with women in their back passages.” And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or how you will”
[al-Baqarah 2:223]
The tilth (harth) is the place from which the child is born [the vagina], because the tilth is the place of planting and sowing. The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife from behind, the child would be born with a squint, then Allaah revealed this verse, and Allaah allowed the man to have intercourse with his wife in all positions, so long as it is in the vagina only. Whoever has intercourse with her in her back passage, and she obeys him in that, they should both be punished, and if they do not stop, then they should be separated, as an immoral man and the person with whom he commits immoral actions should be separated, and Allaah knows best.
Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/104, 105
With regard to having intercourse with a non-mahram woman in her back passage, the scholars differed as to whether this is zina (fornication) or sodomy.
Seeal-Mabsoot, 9/77;al-Faakihah al-Dawaanah, 2/209;Mughni al-Muhtaaj, 5/443;al-Insaaf, 10/177;al-Furoo’, 6/72
The view favoured by Shaykh al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) is that having intercourse with a non-mahram woman in her back passage is considered to be zina (fornication). He said: Zina means having an unlawful sexual relationship in the front passage or the back passage.Manhaj al-Saalikeen, p. 239.
We ask Allaah to keep us safe from evil and to purify our hearts of evil thoughts, and to help us to be steadfast in adhering to His religion and obeying His commands.
And Allaah knows best.









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Dought & clear, - An illegitimate daughter is asking, Whose daughter am I?

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I'm an illegitimate child. I was conceived before my mother became Muslim. She became Muslim a few days before my birth. My parents married when I was 10 months old. My parents got divorced 2 years ago, after I disclosed sexual abuse by him. I have used my father's name since I was born and he has always accepted paternity of me. Do I need to change my name to my mother's name? I am 14 year old and have five siblings, all with my father's name. I read the answers on this site and all seemed to say that I should, but one answer by Shaykh 'Abd-Allah ibn Jibreen seemed to say the opposite. (Question Reference Number 5967) He stated that if the father accepts paternity, it is permissible to retain his name. Please clarify this issue for me.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: we confirm that the illegitimate child has nothing to do with his parents’ crime, and that he has all the same rights as any other Muslim, male or female. He must also fear Allaah so that he may become one of the people of Paradise with whom Allaah is pleased.
Secondly: the scholars differed as to whether or not the child may be attributed to his adulterous father, if the woman was not married.
What that means is: if the woman was married and had a child six months after being married, then the child should be attributed to the father, and he cannot deny the child unless he divorces his wife by means of li’aan. If a man claims that he committed zina with this woman and that this is his illegitimate child, no attention should be paid to him, according to scholarly consensus, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “The child is to be attributed to the husband and the adulterer deserves nothing.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2053; Muslim, 1457.
Ibn Qudaamah said: “The scholars were unanimously agreed that if a child is born to one man’s wife, and another man claims it is his child, the child is not to be attributed to the latter. The difference of opinion arises when a child is born outside of marriage.”
If the woman is not married, and she has a child as a result of zina, and the zaani (adulterer, man who committed zina) claims it is his child, should the child be attributed to him or not?
The majority of scholars are of the view that the child should not be attributed to him.
It was narrated from al-Hasan, Ibn Sireen, ‘Urwah, al-Nakha’i, Ishaaq and Sulaymaan ibn Yassaar that the child should be attributed to him.
This was also the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him).
Ibn Qudaamah also narrated this view from Abu Haneefah. He said: “ ‘Ali ibn ‘Aasim narrated that Abu Haneefah said: If a man commits zina with a woman and she gets pregnant from him, I do not see anything wrong with him marrying her even though she is pregnant, so as to conceal her (sin), and the child will be his child.” (al-Mughni, 9/122).
Ibn Muflih (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Our shaykh [Ibn Taymiyah] favoured the view that a man may attribute to himself a child who is the result of zina with an unmarried woman. al-Furoo’, 6/625
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The illegitimate child should not be attributed to the zaani according to the majority of scholars, but al-Hasan and Ibn Sireen said: he may be attributed to the zaani if the hadd punishment has been carried out on him, and he may inherit from him. Ibraaheem said: He may be attributed to him if the hadd punishment of flogging has been carried out, or if he becomes the owner of the woman with whom he had intercourse. Ishaaq said: He may be attributed to him, and he quoted something similar from ‘Urwah and Sulaymaan ibn Yassaar.
Shaykh al-Islam (Ibn Taymiyah) said: There are also two views among the scholars concerning the zaani claiming the child as his if the woman is not married. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The child is to be attributed to the husband and the adulterer deserves nothing.” So he said that the child belongs to the husband, not the zaani. But if the woman is not married then this hadeeth is not applicable. ‘Umar attributed children born in the jaahiliyyah to their fathers, but this is not the place to discuss this issue in detail.
Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/178
The majority of scholars quoted as evidence that the illegitimate child should not be attributed to the zaani the hadeeth narrated by Ahmad (7002), Abu Dawood (2265) and Ibn Maajah (2746) from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb from his father from his grandfather who said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled that whoever is born to a slave woman who was not owned by his father, or (was born to) a free woman with whom (the father) committed zina, then he cannot be attributed to him nor can he inherit, even if the one to whom he is attributed claims him as a son. He is the child of fornication whether his mother was a free woman or a slave.”
This hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood, and by al-Arna’oot inTahqeeq al-Musnad. It was quoted as evidence by Ibn Muflih to support the view of the majority.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled that the illegitimate child should not be attributed to the zaani and could not inherit from him, even if the zaani claimed him as his child.
Undoubtedly attributing the child to a particular person is a serious matter on which many rulings of sharee’ah depend, such as matters of inheritance, who is forbidden for marriage (mahrams) and who are his relatives.
The point is that the fatwa which says that the illegitimate child should not be attributed to the zaani is in accordance with the view of the majority of scholars.
With regard to Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him), perhaps he based his view on the other scholarly view which we have mentioned above.
Based on the view of the majority, the illegitimate child – whether male or female – should not be attributed to the zaani, and should not be described as his child. Rather he should be attributed to his mother; he is a mahram for her and may inherit from her like all her other children.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “With regard to the child who is born as a result of zina, he is the child of his mother, not of his father, because of the general meaning of the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The child is to be attributed to the husband and the adulterer deserves nothing’ – i.e., this is not his child. This is what the hadeeth means. If the man marries her after repenting, then the child has been conceived before marriage and repentance and is not his child; he cannot inherit from the man who committed zina even if he claims him as his child, because he is not his legitimate child.”
FromFataawa Islamiyyah, 3/370.
InFataawa al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem(11/146) it says: The child who is created from the sperm of the zaani cannot be called the child of the zaani.
And Allaah knows best.








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For children, - Anger management skills and techniques inIslam

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Do you find it hard to forgive someone who has done you wrong? Do you often find yourself in heated arguments with the people with whom you are closest? Have you ever been so angry that you could not remember what you said or did? Have you ever gotten so angry that you resorted to physical violence, hitting people or breaking things?
If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, you might have an anger problem. These are just a few of the symptoms of anger addiction. This article offers the anger management skills and techniques according to Islamic teachings.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems - problems at work, in your personal relationships and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you are at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
Anger is complex, bodily and emotional response. Even before you begin to shout, hit or scream, your body functions changes drastically. Your brain goes into crisis mode and releases powerful chemicals, telling your body to prepare for attack. Your blood pressure skyrockets, your heart rate rapidly increases and all of the blood is directed toward unnecessary bodily processes. Your vision sharpens and your body literally prepares for battle.
This natural process enables human beings to be both courageous and outrageous. Our physical response to anger equips us to survive dangerous circumstances. Our brains and bodies mobilize quickly to respond to attacks by wild animals and rescuing others from danger. But the same effective response that allows human beings to escape a grizzly bear attack also drives us to hurt other people and destroy relationship. In addition to destroying relationships, constant anger can lead to serious health problems like persistent headaches, high blood pressure, heart disease and strokes. Anger, quite literally, can kill you.
Some people keep their anger buried deep inside. It's not good to hide your anger, so you should find a way to let it out without hurting yourself or others. As a matter of fact, the real problem is not anger itself; the real problem is the mismanagement of anger. Mismanaged anger and rage is the major cause of conflict in our personal as well as professional relationships. Because, never getting angry is impossible. Instead, remember that how you act when you are angry can make the situation better or worse. Don't let anger be the boss of you. Take charge of it! Stop anger before it destroys your life and the lives of those around you. Effective anger management skills and techniques benefit your health and your relationships.
Please note: Don't make decisions when you're angry and don't make promises when you're happy.










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