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Thursday, March 13, 2014

Dought & clear, - An illegitimate daughter is asking, Whose daughter am I?













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I'm an illegitimate child. I was conceived before my mother became Muslim. She became Muslim a few days before my birth. My parents married when I was 10 months old. My parents got divorced 2 years ago, after I disclosed sexual abuse by him. I have used my father's name since I was born and he has always accepted paternity of me. Do I need to change my name to my mother's name? I am 14 year old and have five siblings, all with my father's name. I read the answers on this site and all seemed to say that I should, but one answer by Shaykh 'Abd-Allah ibn Jibreen seemed to say the opposite. (Question Reference Number 5967) He stated that if the father accepts paternity, it is permissible to retain his name. Please clarify this issue for me.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: we confirm that the illegitimate child has nothing to do with his parents’ crime, and that he has all the same rights as any other Muslim, male or female. He must also fear Allaah so that he may become one of the people of Paradise with whom Allaah is pleased.
Secondly: the scholars differed as to whether or not the child may be attributed to his adulterous father, if the woman was not married.
What that means is: if the woman was married and had a child six months after being married, then the child should be attributed to the father, and he cannot deny the child unless he divorces his wife by means of li’aan. If a man claims that he committed zina with this woman and that this is his illegitimate child, no attention should be paid to him, according to scholarly consensus, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “The child is to be attributed to the husband and the adulterer deserves nothing.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2053; Muslim, 1457.
Ibn Qudaamah said: “The scholars were unanimously agreed that if a child is born to one man’s wife, and another man claims it is his child, the child is not to be attributed to the latter. The difference of opinion arises when a child is born outside of marriage.”
If the woman is not married, and she has a child as a result of zina, and the zaani (adulterer, man who committed zina) claims it is his child, should the child be attributed to him or not?
The majority of scholars are of the view that the child should not be attributed to him.
It was narrated from al-Hasan, Ibn Sireen, ‘Urwah, al-Nakha’i, Ishaaq and Sulaymaan ibn Yassaar that the child should be attributed to him.
This was also the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him).
Ibn Qudaamah also narrated this view from Abu Haneefah. He said: “ ‘Ali ibn ‘Aasim narrated that Abu Haneefah said: If a man commits zina with a woman and she gets pregnant from him, I do not see anything wrong with him marrying her even though she is pregnant, so as to conceal her (sin), and the child will be his child.” (al-Mughni, 9/122).
Ibn Muflih (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Our shaykh [Ibn Taymiyah] favoured the view that a man may attribute to himself a child who is the result of zina with an unmarried woman. al-Furoo’, 6/625
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The illegitimate child should not be attributed to the zaani according to the majority of scholars, but al-Hasan and Ibn Sireen said: he may be attributed to the zaani if the hadd punishment has been carried out on him, and he may inherit from him. Ibraaheem said: He may be attributed to him if the hadd punishment of flogging has been carried out, or if he becomes the owner of the woman with whom he had intercourse. Ishaaq said: He may be attributed to him, and he quoted something similar from ‘Urwah and Sulaymaan ibn Yassaar.
Shaykh al-Islam (Ibn Taymiyah) said: There are also two views among the scholars concerning the zaani claiming the child as his if the woman is not married. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The child is to be attributed to the husband and the adulterer deserves nothing.” So he said that the child belongs to the husband, not the zaani. But if the woman is not married then this hadeeth is not applicable. ‘Umar attributed children born in the jaahiliyyah to their fathers, but this is not the place to discuss this issue in detail.
Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/178
The majority of scholars quoted as evidence that the illegitimate child should not be attributed to the zaani the hadeeth narrated by Ahmad (7002), Abu Dawood (2265) and Ibn Maajah (2746) from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb from his father from his grandfather who said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled that whoever is born to a slave woman who was not owned by his father, or (was born to) a free woman with whom (the father) committed zina, then he cannot be attributed to him nor can he inherit, even if the one to whom he is attributed claims him as a son. He is the child of fornication whether his mother was a free woman or a slave.”
This hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood, and by al-Arna’oot inTahqeeq al-Musnad. It was quoted as evidence by Ibn Muflih to support the view of the majority.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled that the illegitimate child should not be attributed to the zaani and could not inherit from him, even if the zaani claimed him as his child.
Undoubtedly attributing the child to a particular person is a serious matter on which many rulings of sharee’ah depend, such as matters of inheritance, who is forbidden for marriage (mahrams) and who are his relatives.
The point is that the fatwa which says that the illegitimate child should not be attributed to the zaani is in accordance with the view of the majority of scholars.
With regard to Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him), perhaps he based his view on the other scholarly view which we have mentioned above.
Based on the view of the majority, the illegitimate child – whether male or female – should not be attributed to the zaani, and should not be described as his child. Rather he should be attributed to his mother; he is a mahram for her and may inherit from her like all her other children.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “With regard to the child who is born as a result of zina, he is the child of his mother, not of his father, because of the general meaning of the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The child is to be attributed to the husband and the adulterer deserves nothing’ – i.e., this is not his child. This is what the hadeeth means. If the man marries her after repenting, then the child has been conceived before marriage and repentance and is not his child; he cannot inherit from the man who committed zina even if he claims him as his child, because he is not his legitimate child.”
FromFataawa Islamiyyah, 3/370.
InFataawa al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem(11/146) it says: The child who is created from the sperm of the zaani cannot be called the child of the zaani.
And Allaah knows best.








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For children, - Anger management skills and techniques inIslam













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Do you find it hard to forgive someone who has done you wrong? Do you often find yourself in heated arguments with the people with whom you are closest? Have you ever been so angry that you could not remember what you said or did? Have you ever gotten so angry that you resorted to physical violence, hitting people or breaking things?
If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, you might have an anger problem. These are just a few of the symptoms of anger addiction. This article offers the anger management skills and techniques according to Islamic teachings.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems - problems at work, in your personal relationships and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you are at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
Anger is complex, bodily and emotional response. Even before you begin to shout, hit or scream, your body functions changes drastically. Your brain goes into crisis mode and releases powerful chemicals, telling your body to prepare for attack. Your blood pressure skyrockets, your heart rate rapidly increases and all of the blood is directed toward unnecessary bodily processes. Your vision sharpens and your body literally prepares for battle.
This natural process enables human beings to be both courageous and outrageous. Our physical response to anger equips us to survive dangerous circumstances. Our brains and bodies mobilize quickly to respond to attacks by wild animals and rescuing others from danger. But the same effective response that allows human beings to escape a grizzly bear attack also drives us to hurt other people and destroy relationship. In addition to destroying relationships, constant anger can lead to serious health problems like persistent headaches, high blood pressure, heart disease and strokes. Anger, quite literally, can kill you.
Some people keep their anger buried deep inside. It's not good to hide your anger, so you should find a way to let it out without hurting yourself or others. As a matter of fact, the real problem is not anger itself; the real problem is the mismanagement of anger. Mismanaged anger and rage is the major cause of conflict in our personal as well as professional relationships. Because, never getting angry is impossible. Instead, remember that how you act when you are angry can make the situation better or worse. Don't let anger be the boss of you. Take charge of it! Stop anger before it destroys your life and the lives of those around you. Effective anger management skills and techniques benefit your health and your relationships.
Please note: Don't make decisions when you're angry and don't make promises when you're happy.










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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Fathwa, - Wants to divorce her gambling, drug-using husband













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Question
My husband and I have had many problems in the past about him gambling and drug use, which leads to him never being of home. I have left him to stay with my mum about 6-7 times and he refuses to stop, we have a 3yr old daughter together, and many people, including his parents, have told him to stop this behavior but he will not. He doesn't pray or fast and is not good to his family. I have recently moved back to my mum's house to stay, and I told him that I do not want to move back with him again. I told him that I want our marriage to end and that I want a divorce from him, but he will not accept this. He says no, that he loves me. I don't feel that I love him anymore. He has put me through so much; I can't give him another chance. What can I do? Is there anyway to divorce him in the Islamic way without him. I don't know what to do. I don't stop him from seeing his daughter; he is welcome anytime. Please advise me on what I should do or say. May Allah reward you.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
No doubt all that you have mentioned about your husband such as neglecting prayers, fasting, indulging in gambling etc., all are major sins. We ask Allah to grant him the guidance.
We advise you to continue advising him, asking Allah to guide him and requesting knowledgeable people as well to exhort him, probably he will return to the right path.
If he continues on his sins, you should take divorce. If he is not ready to divorce you then you should take Khula )divorce by giving him some money or something else.( If he does not agree to Khula then you should sue him in an Islamic Court there; otherwise consult an Islamic Centre or a Muslim organization in your area. They will take care of the matter and help you, Insha Allah.
Allah knows best.







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