Fathwa, - Husband and wife disagree about their marital rights and obligations

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Question
For a husband and wife whether the Khul’ has taken place in the light of the letter reproduced below? )If yes, what is the next procedure to be followed? If no, what is to be done?( This is the letter exchanged between one wife )Mrs. XYZ( and one husband )Mr. ABC( }Mrs. XYZ wrote: "I Mrs. XYZ w/o Mr. ABC would like to take separation from my present husband Mr. ABC, as he is not willing to offer me pocket money of QR1000/- per month and the SIM Card )Mobile Card( which he deliberately and diplomatically removed from the mobile. This I would like because not only are my extra needs not fulfilled apart from food and shelter but also it is a matter of my dignity. This is valid if he doesn't give me the things I asked for otherwise this is invalid.” Signed by Mrs. XYZ.Upon this the husband wrote: "After providing all requirements of my wife which include food, required money, good furnished house, transportation, local telephone, clothes, full medical and any other day to day genuine requirements to live happily, it is not advisable for anideal husbandto provide pocket money of QR1000/- per month, SIM Card and a sum of QR xxx /month )asked verbally( to a wife. Therefore, I do hereby accept separation request of my wife Mrs. XYZ as per Islamic laws with immediate effect. Singed by Mr. ABC{.
Note: More over the discussion on separation was going on for last few days, then the husband requested the wife that if you don’t want to stay with me, why don’t you ask that in writing and the wife wrote the above letter in response, and husband replied as given above.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
Khul' is when a wife demands divorce from her husband in return for a compensation. What really happened in this case in not Khul', rather the case is that the woman is asking her husband to divorce her. If the husband really wrote that he divorces her and intended it, or uttered the word divorce when he wrote the term to her, then the wife is considered a divorcee. However, if he had not uttered it or intended it when writing it, then divorce does not take place according to the majority of jurists. That's because divorce by writing, is considered as a metaphor for divorce according to them, so it must be accompanied with intention.
Nevertheless, in case we suppose that divorce had taken place, if it is the first or second divorce, then it is a revocable one and he can take her back within the 'Iddah)a prescribed waiting period before divorce takes effect(, but if it is the third divorce then he cannot take her back until she marries another person who again divorces her.
However, if we suppose that divorce had not taken place, then this woman is still considered his wife.
Finally, we would like to draw your attention to the following matters:
It is not permissible for a wife to ask for divorce without a sound religious reason. What is mentioned in the question is not a valid reason for this woman to ask for divorce.
Marital life is a great bond, so it should not be broken for trivial reasons.
It is not permissible for a wife to burden her husband with demands and requests that he may not be able to fulfil, or which could be considered as extravagance.
The wife has the right of the fostering of the child before the age of seven. After the age of seven, the child is given the choice whether to stay with his mother or father. Since this child is eight years of the age, then he chooses with
It is more appropriate to resort to an Islamic court as it is more proper for it to study the issues in this case.Allaah knows best.












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Fathwa, - Wants troubled marriage to end

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Question
Egyptian husband refuses to marry in the mosque. We are both Muslims. Keeps saying yes but never does nothing to make it happen. I went out of town for few days found he been having online sex with women from all over and some in same cityHouston. I am so hurt and disappointed I told him to leave. He did for 4 hrs then come back. He doesn't love me just the green card. He uses me to come toUSAnow I know. He says his want life with me but does other thing. He also has orders not to check his cell phone or his cell bill with codes so I don't know who he talks to. I cannot forgive him. I am Mexican who was virgin marry him with lot of love now. I feel lost and want him to just go and look for another one better since its what he is looking for always. I want to know what Islam says about infidelity in men. I feel the love that helped me bring him toUSAnow is dead. Now I see what he is really like. He has no intention of having a real life with me or marriage much less children. So I asked him to leave and want him to just go away and leave me alone. I wan to forget his name his face and never look back. I feel that only his death. Would be enough to cover the pain he has put in my heart. I am very good wife. I cook for him so much. I take care of him. I taught him English and sent him to driving school and many things to help him be good in this country. Please I want to do something to stop the pain I feel. I need prayer and advice for this to go away. The best solution is for him to leave but he won't pay for divorce he wants me to pay for it.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
Dear sister, we feel deep sorrow after reading your story. It is apparent that the man is not serious in his words and actions. He neither fears Allaah nor does he respect the rights of other people as understood from the given details in your question.
As you know all the good and happiness lies in following the commands of Allaah and abiding by the rulings of Islam. Woe and destruction is for those who transgress the limits of Allaah and His Prophet.
Dear sister, it is strictly forbidden in Islam to mix with a marriageable man or to have relations or friendship with him. So, you have to cut all your contacts with him immediately if you are not married with him Islamicly. For details refer to our previous Fatwa: 84281.The conditions of a valid marriage are mentioned in our Fatwa: 83629.
If you married him Islamicly then you have to exhort him to avoid violating the rulings of Allaah such as having illicit relations with women, etc. Supplicate Allaah to grant him His fear and steadfastness on his religion.
If he neglects your rights besides violating the rulings of Islam then you may ask for divorce from him. In this matter it is better to consult any Islamic center in your area; they can provide you the proper help.
May Allaah bless you and ease your matters.
Allaah know best.








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Family, - The Virtue of Nurturing Girls - I

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This article in its two parts, Allaah willing, will be about a righteous good deed, and whoever performs it perfectly, according to its required conditions, will attain three things:
First: he will be veiled from Hell and never enter it.
Second: on the Day of the Greatest Terror, )i.e. the Day of Judgment(, he will be gathered in the company of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
Third: Paradise will be guaranteed for him, where he will be in the company of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
What an excellent and great reward this is! This great reward, O believers, requires that certain conditions be fulfilled perfectly.
What is this deed and what are its conditions?
I say, seeking the help of Allaah The Exalted, that it is to take care of girls, being in charge of them and looking after their affairs and interests. That is the position of our religion with the woman whom it honors, maintains, and guards; it encourages men to enter Paradise and receive great rewards should they take care of her and guard her.
How great the favors of Allaah The Almighty are on the daughters of Eve and how sad that some people show ingratitude and deny them!
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said in an authentic Hadeeth on the authority of the Mother of the Believers ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her:"Whichever )people( are tried by any of them )girls(, and he treats them kindly, they will screen him from the fire )of Hell(."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
He further said:"Whoever has three girls and is patient with them and clothes them from what he has, they will veil him from the fire )of Hell(."
That is the first reward that you, O slave of Allaah, would receive for that work, which is to be screened and veiled from the fire of Hell, and whoever is drawn away from the fire and admitted to Paradise has indeed attained his desire.
May Allaah make us all among those who attain that reward!
Concerning the second reward, which is to be gathered in the company of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, it was narrated on the authority of Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, that he said, “The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:‘Whoever looks after two girls until they attain the age of maturity, would come on the Day of Judgment with me and him being )as close to each other( as these )and he joined his fingers(.’”]Muslim[
As for the third reward, then consider the following texts:
It was narrated on the authority of Jaabir, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"‘Whoever has three daughters whom he gives refuge to, provides for and shows mercy to, Paradise is certainly guaranteed for him.”A man asked, “And )for( two, O Messenger of Allaah?” He replied:“And also )for the one who has( two )daughters(."]Ahmad[ ]Al-Bukhaari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad[
It was narrated on the authority of Abu Sa‘eed, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"No one has three or two daughters or sisters, and he fears Allaah regarding them and is kind to them, except that he will enter Paradise."
It was narrated on the authority of Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, that he said, “The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:‘Whoever has two daughters or sisters to whom he is kind as long as they are with him, he and I will be in Paradise )as close to each other( as these )and then he put two of his fingers together(.’”
What a great reward this is! And, what an excellent position this is!
However, such great rewards have heavy qualifications and various objectives that must be realized by great striving and patience.
What are these conditions and restrictions?
All the conditions are included in his )the Prophet's, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,( saying:"And he is kind to them."
To be kind to girls in such a way as to befit the Sharee‘ah is the all-inclusive condition and the greatest qualification. The narrations previously mentioned came to explicate and clarify in detail this general reference. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"…Whom he gives refuge to, provides for and shows mercy to."
Al-Haafith, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, "All these terms are included under the term "Ihsaan" )to be kind(."
What is the meaning of giving refuge to them? What is intended by providing for them? And, how should we show mercy to them?
Giving refuge has three facets:
First: Giving her refuge with a good righteous mother, to be an example for her to follow. The first stage of giving refuge to girls is to keep them with a righteous pious chaste mother to maintain and guard them. Have you not heard the advice of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:"Then, succeed )by choosing( the religious woman lest you would lose )good("?
Second: Giving her refuge in her boudoir, inside her house, which is to teach her to abide in her house and not to come out unless there is a necessity, an urgent need or an act of worship. In other words:"To attend the goodness and supplications of Muslims."
That is the significance of the statement of Allaah The Almighty )which means(:}And abide in your houses.{]Quran 33:33[
Allaah The Almighty commands women to abide in their houses, for it is more suitable to screen them and guard their lives.
)To be continued(








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