Fathwa, - Irresponsible husband

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Question
I need an advice. I converted to Islam 4 years ago Al-hamdulillah. I married who I thought was a strong Muslim man. Turn's out he is extremely weak, he drinks, he doesn't pray. My problem firstly is the fact that 3 months after he had left his first wife he then in turns goes back home to her, and without discussing it with me. I have dealt with a lot from this man. I am still till this day a faithful Muslimah and have prayed for this man to change his ways. Even though I love him, I know he isn't changing his ways. Can I ask him for a divorce? I don't think he cares one way or the other anyway. Oh he had a child with this woman 16 months ago. She knows we are marred. She objects as loudly as I do. Next to the questions above this man has taken away most all my rights as it is. He comes to our home maybe once in 2 to 3 weeks, no financial help with the 3 children and myself. What to do? Is it valid or not?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we congratulate you upon embracing Islam and we ask Allaah to make you firm and steadfast on this religion until the day you meet Him.
If your husband is as you have stated in your question that he does not pray and he consumes intoxicants, then the least that can be said about him is that he is a dissolute person as both these sins are great major sins. This is so because some scholarsare of the view that a person who abandons the prayer goes out of the fold of Islam even if he abandoned the prayer out of laziness. If on top of abandoning the prayer and consuming intoxicants, he does not fulfil the rights of his family, then the matter is more serious.
Therefore, we advise you to admonish him in a good and soft manner, and supplicate to Allaah to guide him. You may seek the help of his righteous and pious relatives; it might be that they will succeed in influencing him and he will repent and become righteous, and this is good for you and your children. However, if he continues on this state neglecting the Rights of his Lord and the rights of his wife and children, then there is no good for you in staying with him, and it is more appropriate to ask for divorce.
If he refuses to grant you divorce, then you can take the matter to an Islamic court, and Allaah will grant you with a better husband than him.
Finally, we advise you to hold fast to your religion and be keen on nurturing your children according to Islamic morals and principles, and not be influenced by the wrong that this man is inflicting on you. One should not judge Islam by the bad behaviour of some Muslims.
We ask Allaah to make you and us firm on this true religion until the day we meet Him.
Allaah Knows best.







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Fathwa, - Wants a divorce but worried about her youngdaughter

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Question
I have no relation with my husband for more than three years. We are living in the same house but we don't even sit with each other. I hate him for what he is. I demanded divorce but he wants to keep torturing me and did not agree. I have a three years old daughter, if I go for 'Khula' I may lose her. I am educated and earning and more capable to look after her even now he is not paying anything for the daughter and me. I can't let him keep my daughter and ruin her future. If I go to the court he may harm us. Please advise what I should do.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
The husbands are obliged in Islamic legislation to treat their wives honourably. Allaah Says )which means(: }And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.{]Quran 4:19[. Allaah Says )which means(: }…And they )women( have rights )over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.( similar )to those of their husbands( over them )as regards obedience and respect, etc.( to what is reasonable.{]Quran 2:228[. So, if your husband is as you mentioned that he refuses to share the bed with you for all this period of time and left you suspended, neither widowed nor married, then he is indeed wrong. Despite this fact, we advise you to be patient and seek to reconcile with him, first by seeking Allaah's Help and then the help of the pious and righteous people. It might be that Allaah will reconcile between you in spite of the length of the period during which he refused to share the bed with you, and then you will live happily together; this is not impossible. So, we advise you to take into consideration your daughter's interest as divorce may badly affect her nurturing.
However, if it is not possible to reconcile, then do not hesitate to take the matter to an Islamic court which can relief you from this harm, and the judge will determine who is more appropriate and deserving of fostering the daughter when divorce takes place. However, if you fear that your husband will harm you after divorce, then you may inform the judge of this so that he will deter him from doing so.
Allaah Knows best.










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Personal, - Fornication and Adultery:Major Sins in Islam

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Chastity is defined as "controlling oneself from forbidden desires due to the love of Allaah The Almighty in response to His command, as well as for seeking His reward in return."
Islam has always been keen to establish chastity in the Muslim community and has thus legislated many laws that reduce the strong impact of these desires and control them; it has also encouraged remaining on the straight path and warned against transgressing the defined boundaries by following these base desires.
Islam has preserved people’s honor and protected lineages from being mixed. Therefore, fornication and adultery are forbidden and classified as major and destructive sins. Islam has even forbidden everything that could lead to these sins, such as immoral exchange of looks between the two sexes, depraved words, seductive moves, a man and a woman being in seclusion in a room, and anything else which could lead to this awful sin. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}"And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a great sin, and an evil way )that leads one to Hell unless Allaah forgives him(."{]Quran, 17: 32[
Islam does not have laws which contradict one another as is the case with man-made legislation which has set penal laws for adultery and fornication but has facilitated every means that lead to it. Moreover, there are some societies that see no harm in allowing fornication and adultery and have set no penal laws for those who commit them. Other societies differentiate between committing this act in the marital home and outside of it; they only consider committing it the marital home as a crime and not if it is committed away from it! Islam, on the other hand, comprehensively forbids fornication and adultery and everything that leads to it.
Allaah The Almighty commanded His Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to take a pledge from women who entered Islam to refrain from fornication and adultery. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}"O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the Bai`ah )pledge(, that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children… then accept their pledge."{]Quran, 60: 12[
Allaah The Almighty made the punishment for these sins vary from lashing to stoning to death, along with the humiliation which results from informing the community of the perpetrators of this sin. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}"The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment. ]This is for unmarried persons, but if married, the punishment is to stone them to death[."{]Quran, 24: 2[
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, set the penalty for adultery and fornication as follows:"If the parties )committing fornication( are unmarried, they should receive a hundred lashes and be put into exile for a year. If they commit adultery after they are married, they should receive a hundred lashes and then be stoned to death."]Muslim[
Since Islam has comprehensively forbidden fornication and adultery, it has also blocked all ways that lead to it. It does not have laws which contradict one another as is the case with man-made legislation which has set penal laws for adultery and fornication but has facilitated every means that lead to it. Moreover, there are some societies that see no harm in allowing fornication and adultery and have set no penal laws for those who commit them. Other societies differentiate between committing this act in the marital home and outside of it; they only consider committing it the marital home as a crime and not if it is committed away from it! Islam, on the other hand, comprehensively forbids fornication and adultery and everything that leads to it.
The evil consequences of fornication and adultery
Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,
"Fornication and adultery combine all evils; weakness in commitment to the religion, lack of piety, corruption of manhood and the decrease of praiseworthy jealousy. You will never find an adulterer or fornicator who is pious, fulfils his promises, is truthful in his speech, maintains friendship or has jealousy over his wife; he will be characterised by lies, deception, betrayal, accepting prohibitions and not being mindful of Allaah." All these characteristics are consequences of fornication and adultery.
There are also other consequences such as:
• Incurring the wrath of Allaah The Almighty.
• Corruption of one's wife and children.
• Poverty and gloominess of the face, which will be apparent to people.
• Darkness of the heart.
• Becoming insignificant in the eyes of people and in the sight of Allaah The Almighty.
• Loss of the characteristics of chastity and righteousness and becoming known as a sinful, betraying adulterer or fornicator.
• Not being classified as a believer in general.
• Being decried as an evil person.










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