Family, - It’s all in a hug

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Kids aren't mind readers, but they are capable of reading our body language
When we hear about the tragedies in the world, such as the horrific tsunami; or about all of the people and children hurt in the worn-torn countries found all around the world; the millions of children who are starving to death or dying of AIDS ...we each should be much, much more thankful to our Creator for all that we have been blessed with and never, ever forget all those who are suffering in our du’aa )supplications(.
Making du’aa and remembering all those suffering should be a regular occurrence in our households, and with our families. Our children in the West, with all the available perks in life are completely oblivious to the suffering in the world unless we talk to them about it and remind them that for all that they have there are so many that have nothing. By the same token, we need to give ourselves a harsh reminder as well not to take things - specifically our families for granted, as we so often do.
Our children really need us to be there for them, not just to give them lunch – money or pay their allowances.... but to be their rock in the shakable and unsteady world they live in. Most importantly, we need to show them by words and actions, that we love them – at every opportunity we get.
A single action can say, and mean, a lot
We all have clear and concise memories of our parents – clear into our adulthood. We remember what they did, what they said, how they acted, even how they said things... and we also vividly recall what they didn't do or say. Sometimes just a single action in a particular moment can say, and mean a lot to a child, including and especially a teenager. Teenagers and tweens care a lot more about what we, their parent, think, than they would like to let on. So, while they may act like they could care less, there should be no doubt whatsoever that they care immensely.
Some kids, if they do not get adequate positive attention, act out with undesirable behavior to get any attention in any way possible even if it is negative attention from Mom or Dad. Something is always better than nothing, or not enough. Make the time, you may not have it later as we live our lives and get caught up in our own dramas, we often forget that our lives here are only temporary.
At any given time, Allaah Almighty forbid it for us, there could be a car accident, a burglary gone bad, an indiscriminate drive-by shooting or let's face it a hate crime committed against any person in our family. People pass away from house-hold accidents every day and then there is illness, which could strike any one of us. These circumstances are all beyond our control and are real.
Because we live with such uncertainty and because we must realize and make our children also understand that they are not invisible... we must make the time to spend with our family and show them we love them; not tomorrow, but today - right now, this moment, because we may not have that time later.
We all have the habit of putting things off, publicly and privately. It is easier, life is busy, and there never is enough time in a day. However, we should take notice to never procrastinate with our love. We cannot afford to take time for granted when it comes to our religion or our family. Time spent on these two vital aspects of our lives is valuable time that is been very well spent.
Start with a hug
I know some of you may not have been raised in a home that displayed affection and the thought of it, the action itself, may be awkward and a little strange. But even if you didn't receive it as a child, know that your children need it from you. Hugging is a whole lot easier than you think, and once you get in the habit of doing it several times per day, it will become natural and a comfort to you and your children.
Comfort in a cuddle!
I make du’aa that, if haven't already, you begin today by giving your kids a hug each day and tell them you love and care for them. It is such a comfort for a child, or wife or close friend for that matter, to be held close and enclosed in loving arms.
For anyone who may be skeptical about it, you should ask yourself why it seems scary to you. The Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, was known to be very affectionate and caring towards his children and he, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, is our best example and role model as is featured in the following Hadeeth: Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, related that Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: "The Prophet of Allaah, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, kissed Hasan ibn ‘Ali while Aqra` ibn Haabis was sitting nearby. Aqra` said, `I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.' The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, looked at him and said,`Those who show no mercy will be shown no mercy"']Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
After you have mulled that over for a while, then ask yourself: what do you really have to lose?









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Dought & clear, - If she committed zinaa when she was not Muslim and had a child, then she became Muslim, what should she tell other people and the child himself?

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WHAT TO DO IF YOU HAD A CHILD BY AN "ARAB" THEN A DEW YEARS LATER YOU BECOME MUSLIM AND WANT TO GET MARRIED WHAT DO YOU DO? WHAT DO YOU TELL THE CHILD ABOUT HER REAL FATHER? WHAT DO YOU TELL THE PEOPLE? OR DOES IT MATTER
Praise be to Allaah and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allaah.
Zinaa (fornication or adultery) is a crime that is forbidden by divine laws and rejected by all wise and sane people, even if they are not Muslim. Allaah has condemned those who do this in many aayaat of the Qur’aan and in numerous ahaadeeth of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He has threatened those who do this with severe punishment and disgrace in this world and the next – except those who repent, have faith and do righteous deeds, for Allaah will accept their repentance. The gate of repentance is open, but it is a condition of repentance that one should regret the deed and give it up. Islam wipes out whatever came before.
With regard to the child, he belongs to his mother, and should not be named after his father. This is the ruling concerning the illegitimate child: he should not be named after his father because he was conceived in fornication, not in wedlock. It is obligatory to take care of this child and bring him up with Islamic manners and morals. Because this immoral act has occurred, you must repent from it, but you should cover it up and not disclose it; you do not have to tell the people the truth. If the child wants to know the truth, you can tell him in an appropriate manner, and let him know that what happened was in the days of kufr (before you became Muslim), and that when a person repents and becomes Muslim, this wipes out whatever happened before. The child does not bear any responsibility for what happened, and as long as his mother has become Muslim, there is no grounds for rebuking or punishing her. It is obligatory to accept the will and decree of Allaah, and if this child does righteous deeds he will enter Paradise. No soul is made to bear the burdens of another. We ask Allaah to keep you safe and sound and to forgive you. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.









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Najimudeen M

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Dought & clear, - Can those who have committed homosexual acts be forgiven, and is it permissible forsuch a person to get married?

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Could inform me regarding the Islamic view about people who have committed homosexual acts, but have repented and abstained from such acts. Should they be stoned to death? Can they be forgiven? And are they allowed to marry people of the opposite gender?
Praise be to Allaah.
Undoubtedly the sin of homosexuality is one of the worst sins; indeed, it is one of the major sins (kabaa’ir) that Allaah has forbidden. Allaah destroyed the people of Loot (peace be upon him) with the most terrifying kinds of punishment because they persisted in their sin and made this evil action commonplace and acceptable among themselves. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“So when Our Commandment came, We turned (the towns of Sodom in Palestine) upside down, and rained on them stones of baked clay, in a well-arranged manner one after another; Marked from your Lord” [Hood 11:82-83].
Then Allaah says, warning those who come after them of the nations who do the same deed as they did (interpretation of the meaning):
“and they are not ever far from the Zaalimoon (polytheists, evildoers)” [Hood 11:83]
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And they indeed sought to shame his guest (by asking to commit sodomy with them). So We blinded their eyes (saying), ‘Then taste you My Torment and My Warnings.’” [al-Qamar 54:37]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever you find doing the action of the people of Loot, kill them, the one who does it and the one two whom it is done.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 2727; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer wa Ziyaadatihi, no. 6589).
Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Kill the one who does it and the one to whom it is done.” (Reported by the four authors ofSunan. Its isnaad is saheeh. At-Tirmidhi said it is a hasan hadeeth).
Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq judged in accordance with this, and he wrote instructions to this effect to Khaalid, after consulting with the Sahaabah. ‘Ali was the strictest of them with regard to that. Ibn al-Qasaar and our shaykh said: the Sahaabah agreed that [the person who does homosexual acts] should be killed, but they differed as to how he should be killed. Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq said that he should be thrown down from a cliff. ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said that a wall should be made to collapse on him. Ibn ‘Abbaas said, they should be killed by stoning. This shows that there was consensus among them that [the person who does homosexual acts] should be killed, but they differed as to how he should be executed. This is similar to the ruling of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning the person who has intercourse with a woman who is his mahram [incest], because in both cases intercourse is not permitted under any circumstances. Hence the connection was made in the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) who reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Whoever you find doing the deed of the people of Loot, kill them.” And it was also reported that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has intercourse with a woman who is his mahram, kill him.” And according to another hadeeth with the same isnaad, “Whoever has intercourse with an animal, kill him and kill the animal with him.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 2420; Abu Dawood, 4464; al-Tirmidhi, 1454; al-Haakim, 4/355).
This ruling is in accordance with the ruling of sharee’ah, because the worse the haraam action is, the more severe the punishment for it. Having intercourse in a manner that is not permissible under any circumstances is worse than having intercourse in a manner which may be permitted in some circumstances, so its punishment is more severe. This was stated by Ahmad in one of the two reports narrated from him. (Zaad al-Ma’aad, part 5, p. 40-41).
The same applies to the sin of lesbianism. There is no doubt among the fuqahaa’ that lesbianism is haraam and is a major sin, as stated by al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him). (Al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, part 24, p. 251).
With regard to the specific type of punishment mentioned in the question – stoning to death – this kind of punishment is for the adulterer who is married. The shar’i punishment for the crime of homosexuality is execution – by the sword, according to the most correct view – as was narrated in the discussion above about the differences among the scholars as to how this execution should be carried out. As far as lesbianism is concerned, there is no hadd for it, but it is subject tota’zeer[unspecified punishment to be determined at the discretion of the qaadi]. (al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, part 24, p. 253).
But if the person who does this evil deed, or any other action which is subject to a hadd punishment, repents, gives up that sin, seeks forgiveness, regrets what he has done and intends never to go back to it – Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about that, and he answered:
If he truly repents to Allaah, Allaah will accept his repentance, and he does not need to confess his sin to anyone so that the hadd punishment would be carried out on him.
(Majmoo’ al-Fataawaa, part 34, p. 180).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse ¾ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance” [al-Furqaan 25:69-71].
If he repents sincerely towards Allaah, there is no reason why he should not get married, and indeed it may be obligatory in his case, as a protection for him and in accordance with what Allaah has permitted. And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.







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