Fathwa, - Her husband refuses to divorce her without taking compensation

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Question
my husband is refusing to give me talaak just to punish me. he has agreed for the court divorce though. we have not been living together for the past 8 months n hes staying with another woman who he had an affair with, thus the reason for our separation. now he wants money from me n threatens that unless i give me half of my weath, he wont give me a talaak. beleive me, ive approached many isl organisation, granting a khula is not an easy process. it sounds easy, but wen a woman ask for a khula, the ulamas have a field day. im so frustrated i dont know where to turn to. ive submitted all doc n answered all question but still i feel because im a woman, i have to be patient n wait. my ex has been summoned n did not appear. the muslim council tell me they will keep calling him. n this may take months if not years. im at my wits ends. pls advise
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
You did not clarify to us whether that woman became his second wife or he is still in illegal relationship with her. If she is his wife, it is not permissible for you to ask for divorce just because of this reason as he is Islamically permitted to marry a second wife. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88007and 83644.
However, if he lives with her illegally, ]i.e. without marrying her[ then he should be advised that it is forbidden for him to continue this relationship with this woman, as this advise may lead him to repent and cut the relationship with her, and then the reasons of dispute between you and him will be over.
Nonetheless, if he insists on this illegal and illicit relationship, you are permitted to ask him to divorce you and it is not permissible for him to keep you hanging )neither divorced nor married( just in order to harm you as this is an injustice. Allaah Says )what means(: }…and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress ]against them[. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself.{]Quran 2:231[. He is obliged either to keep you in kindness or divorce you in kindness.
We advise you to continue contacting the Islamic council in your country, and you may seek the help of some of your relatives, or some trustworthy people to urge the people who are running the council to try to remove the harm off you ]by getting you a divorce from your husband[. Nevertheless, you should be patient and earnestly supplicate Allaah to make a way out to your difficulty.
As regardsKhul')to ask for divorce in return for compensation(, the scholarsstated that if it is the wife who is disobedient, then it is permissible for her husband to take compensation from her even if it is more than the dowry provided she agrees to it, and if this does not cause harm to her. However, if it is the husband who is disobedient, and the wife gives him money out of fear to be harmed by him or due to him being unjust to her or due to him harming her, then it is not permissible for him to take compensation and if he had taken from her something on this basis, he should give it back to her.
Anyway, if your husband insists on the money and you are not greatly harmed by giving it to him, then it might be good for you to give it to him in order to obtain divorce from him and the harm will be removed off you if it cannot be removed except by divorce.
Of course, all the above is based on the fact that your husband did not initiate divorce to you, because if he uttered divorce to you, then it is valid even if the procedures of the court are not yet finished.Allaah Knows best.











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Fathwa, - Dowry items of a wife who left her husband’s house and asks for divorce

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Question
MY WIFE LEFT MY HOUSE AND TOOK MY CHILD ALSO WITH OUT MY PERMISSION AND AFTER 1 YEAR SHE FILED A CASE IN THE COURTAND SOUGHT KHULA.I WANT TO ASK THAT HER DOWER MATERIAL STILL LYING WITH ME AND AS PER ISLAM WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING WITH HER MATERIAL WHICH SHE BROUGHT AT THE TIME OF MARRIAGE
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
Khul'is seeking divorce in return for compensation, so if a woman asks for divorce and the husband was not the cause for her asking divorce, then he is permitted to take a compensation for divorcing her, which is something agreed upon between them. Therefore, if you agreed with your wife for this compensation to be what you called the dowry items, then it is permissible for you to take that, otherwise it remains her property.
The following matters should be mentioned:
1- A woman is not permitted to leave her husband's house without his permission. If she does so without any valid reason, then she is a disobedient wife.
2- A wife is not permitted to ask for divorce except for a religious reason.
3- Divorce leads to serious consequences on the family, especially if the spouses have children. It is for this reason that whenever reconciliation is possible, one should resort to it. Allaah Says )what means(: }…and settlement is best.{]Quran 4:128[.
Allaah Knows best.










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Dating in Islam, - Muslim Dating? – Part 1

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Muslim Dating: The Reality of our Ummah – Part 1
When people ask “do Muslims date?” A big chunk of Muslims will quickly respond with a “Hell No!” Because remember that Hadeeth about Shaytaan being the third? Ya, so of course Muslims don’t date, commit adultery or drink alcohol or have gay sex or break any other Quranic tenet. Muslims are perfect angels with no faults.
But if you’ve lived among a large Muslim population, befriended Muslims or visited a Muslim majority country, you will learn that things are not very different than what we see here (in America) among the mainstream culture. Muslims indulge in all of these acts, but the only difference is all is done in secrecy, in a hush-hush secret alternative reality where it’s better to sweep your shame under the carpet than dreadfully advertise your sins.
One doesn’t need to travel to the Middle East to witness the phenomenon. Take a short trip to the beautiful city of Toronto and its neighboring suburbs where a Muslim majority is present in the high school scene. You will find the percentages of Muslim individuals involved in dating, sex, drinking, drugs, etc is high, which is no different than a school with a Judeo-Christian majority.
If you’ve ever visited fatwa sites like Islam QA or Islamonline cyber counseling/fatwa section you will learn that our Muslim youth aren’t living a sin-free life. I remember a young man once wrote the site asking for advice about his ‘problem.’ You see this young man, an aspiring Sheikh, was attracted to men and he didn’t know how to keep his faith and battle his desires. Another girl wrote asking what to do with a man she loves and is on the verge of committing adultery with him because her practicing beautiful Muslim family won’t allow her to marry him.
Young men and women write daily to these outlets asking for a solution. They grew up hearing that it’s haraam to do this and that, yet an alternative was never presented. And when their sins are revealed they are shunned from the community, especially if female.
I know a number of pious and well regarded youth in my community who live double lives. A simple facebook or myspace check will tell you all. It’s very sad that everyone around them, including their young fellow Muslim friends, are aware of this double life but the parents are in the dark. I don’t pity the parents because they CHOOSE not to understand their children. Parents assume their child would never be like so and so’s bad child. But I got news for them, THEY DO and sometimes they are worse!
Some religious scholars will advise youth to fast or play sports. But in the day and age we live in , is that really enough? Has it been effective thus far? I don’t think so.
I think it’s time for the Muslim Ummah collectively to stop turning a blind eye and face REALITY. Obviously their previous ‘plan’ hasn’t worked. Our Ummah collectively aren’t becoming more Godly but they are turning away from their religion all together. The way we deal with our children needs to change NOW.
First action item on the list: Change parental attitudes and priorities.






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