Fathwa, - Wants to take Khul’ as she is not compatible with her husband

Share ::-

- -

- -

Question
Assalam alaykum, Let me first of all thank you for this great web site which help many muslims around the world. May Alah reward you for it Ameen. My question is as follow: I got married 2 months ago and from day one I noticed that I am not compatible with him. I tried my best but in vain. The man has good values and practices Islam as much as he can, but his personal hygiene and his eating and table manners put me right off. Moreover, His level of education is so low that we cant hold a basic conversation and if we do have a conversation, it is always me correcting him as he has not got a clue. When I first discuss marriage issues with him he said that I dont have to work and I do not want to work either, but from the first month I have been paying from my own expenses and lately he has been asking me for money!! ) I told him I have some money saved(. I do not like anything about him physically and I fear that I will disobey him and therefore displease Allah. My dilemma is I live in a non muslim country and I cant go back to my original country just yet but in another hand I do not want to live with this man. Can I ask for Khulo from this man and ask my wakeel ) my dad appointed the local Imam as his Wakeel( to look for a pious man for me who will be compatible with me so that I can live in Hallal until we make hijra back to a muslim country? Also, can you explain to me the form of Khulo and how should it be performed, and what do I have to say and my husband for the Khulo to be valid? Do we need witnesses for the Khulo as I dont want to embarrass the man in the community and keep the kholo between us until the iddah is over inshallah? Wa jazaka allahu ani kolla aljazaa.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
Since that man is as you mentioned that he has a good moral character and is religious, then we advise you not to hasten to ask for divorce or Khul’. The best things that should be taken into account in marrying a person is religion and a good moral character, and all the things which you mentioned can be solved.
Therefore, we advise you to be patient with him and advise him in a good and gentle manner about all those matters. You should clarify to him that he is obliged to spend on you and not to take from your money. The same thing applies to cleanliness and other habits which you do not like about eating. All this can be solved and if this happens there would be no problems.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86646and 85361.
It might be that if you separate from him and married another man, you might be in a greater problem with the new husband than your first husband, and then you would regret when regrets will be of no avail.
Therefore, we advise you to take the matter easy and seek the Help of Allaah and then the help of the righteous and pious people whom you think will help you in rectifying your husband.
After all this, if you don’t find a way for reconciliation and you fear to be negligent in regard to the rights of your husband, then you have the right to ask for Khul’. If a wife gives a compensation for her husband in return for him separating from her, and the husband pronounced Khul’ or other words which mean Khul’, then Khul’ has taken place. For Khul’ to be effective, it does not need the ruling of a )Muslim( Judge; it is desirable to have witnesses about it but this is not an obligation.
If a woman obtains Khul’ from her husband, it is not permissible for her to marry another man until her waiting period expires and it is not permissible for her to marry except with the permission of her guardian.
The authorization in the first marriage is not enough; rather, it is your guardian who should authorize him in marrying you off to the other man.
Allaah Knows best.








:: Share ::

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Fathwa, - She knew after marriage that her husband is Sufi

Share ::-

- -

- -

Question
Salam aleikum A year ago I married a man and after a time he told me he follows sufism. As I am a new muslim I didnt know what that was. He is following sheikh Amin bin Abdur Rehman under silsila idrisia in multan pakistan. I feel strongly in my heart that I cant follow his path that he is demanding me to so now we are separeted. Its the first talaq. I tried to get khula but he made one talag. I need help and advice about this matter. Am I going against Allah and His commands or am I doing right to refuse him? Please guide me urgently what to do please. Wa aleikum salam
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we thank and praise Allaah Who guided you to Islam and we ask Him to make you firm and steadfast on His Religion until the Day you meet Him.
We advise you to seek beneficial knowledge, perform good deeds and befriend righteous and pious women, as these are the best things that help a Muslim woman remain steadfast on her religion.
Most of the Sufi sects that exist today are established on disbelief ideologies, innovations and superstitions. If the sect which you mentioned in the question is so, then you are right in asking your husband to divorce you and you are right in separating from him. If he wants to take you back, you should not accept; rather, it is not permissible for you to return to him if he believes in some disbelief ideologies until he repents to Allaah.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86462, 82017and 83615.
Therefore, we advise you to marry a righteous husband, and it should be mentioned that it is permissible for a Muslim woman to propose herself to someone whom she wants to marry provided she abides by a good moral conduct and bashfulness when she does so. You may also seek the help of some Muslim sisters in this regard.







:: Share ::

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Welcome to Islam, - The concept of worship -III

Share ::-

- -

- -

In the second part of this topic the word Muhsin )a doer of good( was mentioned in one of the quoted verses of the Quran which is derived from Al-Ihsaan which is the performance of good; but what then is Al-Ihsaan )good deed( that attracts such a high position before Allaah and makes the slave deserving of such a great description?
The answer was provided by the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam )may Allaah exalt his mention( when he said, “Al-Ihsaan is to worship Allaah as if you see Him. And even though you do not see Him, He sees you!” )Muslim(. This narration means that man should worship Allaah, mindful of his closeness to Him and his standing before Him just as if he is seeing Him plainly. This state brings about Allaah-consciousness and love of Allaah and purifies ones acts of worship. Anas bin Maalik, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that a man said: “O Messenger of Allaah! Tell me a short word that could benefit me.” The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said:“Pray as if you are in your farewell prayer, for if you do not see Allaah, He sees you.”And the meaning of the phrase “if you do not see Him, He sees you” is that if one cannot worship Allaah as if one sees Him, he should then worship Him with the conviction that Allaah does see him and that none of his affairs is concealed from Allaah. Haarithah, may Allaah be pleased with him, related: “The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam told me:“O Haarithah! How do you find yourself this morning?”I replied: “A true believer.” then the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam told me:“Watch what you say, for every word has a reality, so what confirms what you claimed”I then said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I keep myself away from the )leisure of this( world, spend my nights in prayer and fast during my days. I am now as if I am looking at the throne of my Lord appearing. I am also as if I am looking at the inhabitants ofParadiseas they visit one another. And it seems as if I am looking at the dwellers of hell as they howl therein!” The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam then said:“You have indeed seen )what you claimed to have seen(. Therefore continue on your state of worship, O slave whom Allaah has illuminated his heart with faith!”
Al-Ihsaan is to observe prayer in the best form, moving closer to Allaah and beseeching Him secretly during the night when people are asleep, and it is also being benevolent to people. Allaah Says )what means(:“Verily, they were before thisMuhsins - plural of Muhsin )i.e. doers of good(. They used to sleep but little by night )invoking their Lord and praying with fear and hope(. And in the hours before dawn they were )found( asking )Allaah( for forgiveness. And in their properties there was the right of the beggar )who asked( and the poor )who do not ask others(.”]Quran 51:17-19[.
Al-Ihsaan also means striving against one’s soul, struggle against Satan, hypocrites and unbelievers. Allaah Says )what means(:“And many a Prophet fought )in Allaah’s cause( and along with him )fought( large bands of religious learned men. But they never lost heart for that which did befall them in Allaah’s way, nor did they weaken nor degrade themselves. And Allaah loves the patient ones. And they said nothing but, ‘Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and our transgressions )in keeping our duties to you(. Establish our feet firmly and give us victory over the disbelieving folk! So Allaah gave them the reward of this world, and the excellent reward of the hereafter. And Allaah loves theMuhsins )doers of good(.”]Quran 3: 146-148[.
It is also an aspect of Al-Ihsaan to spend in the way of Allaah whether one is rich or poor and to suppress ones anger and forgive the ignorant ones when they misbehave. Allaah Says )what means(:“Those who spend )in Allaah’s cause( in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger and who pardon men; verily, Allaah loves theMuhsins )doers of good(.”]Quran 3: 134[.
It is a part of Al-Ihsaan to surrender to the truth, to love it and to listen to the revealed Book of Allaah with sound and healthy minds and attentive ears. Allaah Says )what means(:“And when they listen to what has been sent down to the Messenger, you see their eyes overflowing with tears because of the truth they have recognised. They say, “Our Lord! We believe; so write us among the witnesses. And why should we not believe in Allaah and in that which has come to us of the truth )Islaamic monotheism(? And we wish that our Lord will admit us )inParadiseon the Day of Resurrection( along with the righteous people )Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, and his companions(. So because of what they said, Allaah rewarded them with gardens under which rivers flow )inParadise(, they will abide therein forever. Such is the reward of theMuhsins )doers of good(.”]Quran 5: 83-85[.
Allaah has promised a great reward for the Muhsins in this world and the next. He promises them protection and good things of this life when He Says )what means(:“Truly Allaah is with those who fear Him )keep their duty unto Him(, and those who areMuhsins )doers of good(.”]Quran 16: 128[.
Among the reward of good deeds is that it makes Muhsins win Allaah’s love. Allaah Says )what means(:“Verily, Allaah loves theMuhsins )doers of good(.”]Quran 3: 134[.
Among the rewards of good deeds is that Allaah will impart knowledge into the heart of the Muhsins, which will enable him to differentiate between lawful and unlawful things, and between truth and falsehood. Allaah Says about Yoosuf )what means(:“And when he )Yoosuf( attained his full manhood, We gave him wisdom and knowledge. Thus We reward those who areMuhsins )doers of good(.”]Quran 12: 22[.
Allaah also rewards Muhsins by praising them and making His slaves praise them as well. The Almighty Says about prophet Nouh )Noah( )what means(:“Salaam )peace( be upon Nouh )from Us( among the Alamin )mankind, jinn and all that exists(.”]Quran 37: 79[.
About the reward of the Muhsins in the hereafter, Allaah Says )what means(:“For those who have done Al-Ihsaan is the best )reward i.e.Paradise( and even more )i.e. having the honour of glancing upon the countenance of Allaah(. Neither darkness nor dust nor any humiliating disgrace shall cover their faces. They are the dwellers ofParadise, they will abide therein forever.”]Quran 10: 26[
The word “more” means having the prestige of seeing the Countenance of Allaah as it has been successively related in many narrations that the believers will see their Lord on the day of Judgement. As a matter of fact, having the privilege of seeing the Gracious Countenance of Allaah on the Last Day is a suitable reward for Al-Ihsaan, since Al-Ihsaan means to worship Allaah in this world as if one sees Him. Glancing at His Gracious Countenance plainly on the Day of Judgement then becomes the greatest reward for Muhsins. As regards the unbelievers, their eyes will be screened from seeing Allaah on that day, as their hearts were veiled from knowing Allaah and fearing Him in this world.








:: Share ::

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M