Fathwa, - Her husband mistreats her and she thinks of suicide

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Question
bismillah assalaamu alaikum warahmatuhlahi wabarakatuh! i feel like im being raped when my husband sleeps with me especially after an orgasm. this feeling severely harms me. i have no formal education, live unlawfully in a foreign country and face arrest in my country for unpaid child support. my husband has not managed my affairs that he has control over and often marries other woman. i beg him for divorce and he refuses saying i have nothing which is from how he controls my affairs. i think i will kill myself since he wont divorce me so i can have release and permission to leave his house. i am wishing he would let me go. he mocks me and my feelings all the time. im so stressed i dont know what to do. the years keep passing worse then before with him. advise him please!!!!!!!!!! just because i orgasm does not mean dont divorce. i feel like the trapped starved to death cat the mean lady went to hell for because her cruelty.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
If a wife is harmed by staying with her husband, then she has the right to ask for this harm to be removed off her, and if this harm is not removed, she has the right to ask for divorce. For more benefit on the cases when a wife has the right to ask for divorce, please refer to Fatwa 88408.
If there is a sound reason for her to ask for divorce, and she did so, then her husband should accept her request for divorce ]and divorce her[. If he refuses, she may take her case to the Islamic judge or to an authority that deals with the personal matters of the Muslims, like Islamic Centers so that they would remove the harm off her by divorcing her from him or by getting Khul’ for her.
Nonetheless, a wife should not hasten to ask for divorce or Khul’ before balancing between the benefit of separating from her husband or staying with him because divorce is not always the best solution for her.
We would like to draw your attention to the following matters:
1- It is the right of the wife that her husband should live with her in kindness, and it is not kindness that a husband mocks his wife or harms her with any kind of harm. For more benefit on treating the wife kindly, please refer to Fatwa 86618.
2- It is permissible for a husband to marry more than one wife if he is able to fulfill the condition of being just between his wives. Nonetheless, the wife has the right to ask her husband to be just between her and his other wife and he is obliged to give her her right. However, she has no right to object to the right of her husband to marry more than one wife. For more benefit on polygamy, please refer to Fataawa 81469and 88728.
3- A Muslim woman should be patient upon the trials that she may encounter from her husband or from anyone else, as there is much good in being patient; for more benefit on the excellence of patience, please refer to Fatwa 85445. As regards suicide, it does not solve the problem; rather, it is the quickest way of losing this world and the Hereafter. For more benefit on the seriousness of committing suicide. Allaah Knows best.







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Islamic Articles, - A woman’s financial resources in Islam

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As the title’s specific nature indicates, in writing about a woman’s financial resources, I must not be vague, for every source is substantiated by evidence from the Quran, which Allaah The Almighty described, as Saying )what means(:"Falsehood cannot approach it from before it or from behind it; ]it is[ a revelation from ]a Lord Who is[ Wise and Praiseworthy."]Quran 41:42[
Moreover, I will do this to refute the malicious allegations of the defamers who exploit women’s issues to aim ineffectual arrows targeting the Sharee'ah of Allaah The Almighty. In reality, this sole aspect of women's rights in Islam – the financial one – is a challenge to all manmade laws in its justice; it can only force honest people to acknowledge that the Sharee'ah of Allaah The Almighty is indeed equitable and merciful.
What follows are a woman’s financial resources in Islam:
1- The financial maintenance that she is entitled to
This includes the costs of her housing, clothing, sustenance, as well as medical treatment, encompassing all her needs according to a generally acceptable standard.
The noble Sharee'ah has guaranteed her this right, through obliging her parents, then her male relatives, to provide for her from
her birth until her marriage, whence this responsibility is transferred to her husband. In case of his death or divorce, her parents or male relatives are once again financially responsible for her, if she needs someone to provide for her. Additionally, her right to pecuniary maintenance is coupled with an obligation on her guardian to protect her and preserve her honor, as is explained in detail, in sources of Islamic Fiqh.
Thus, in stark contrast to Western laws, the Islamic Sharee'ah has protected women from being financially insecure.
In Western societies, when a girl reaches the age of sixteen or a couple of years more, her parents are no longer responsible for her. This is well known and no one who writes against Islam denies it.
2- Her share in inheritance
The Quran has specified a woman’s share in inheritance according to her status; meaning, conditional on whether she is a wife, grandmother, mother, daughter or sister, the Chapter An-Nisaa’ )Women( lists her prescribed portion in great detail in its 11th, 12th and 13th verses as well as its last verse. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:"Allaah instructs you concerning your children ]i.e. their portions of inheritance[: for the male, what is equal to the share of two females. But if there are ]only[ daughters, two or more, for them is two thirds of one’s estate. And if there is only one, for her is half. And for one’s parents, to each one of them is a sixth of his estate if he left children. But if he had no children and the parents ]alone[ inherit from him, then for his mother is one third. And if he had brothers ]and/or sisters[, for his mother is a sixth, after any bequest he ]may have[ made or debt. Your parents or your children — you know not which of them are nearest to you in benefit. ]These shares are[ an obligation ]imposed[ by Allaah. Indeed, Allaah is ever Knowing and Wise. And for you is half of what your wives leave if they have no child. But if they have a child, for you is one fourth of what they leave, after any bequest they ]may have[ made or debt. And for them ]i.e. the wives[ is one fourth if you leave no child. But if you leave a child, then for them is an eighth of what you leave, after any bequest you ]may have[ made or debt. And if a man or woman leaves neither ascendants nor descendants but has a brother or a sister, then for each one of them is a sixth. But if they are more than two, they share a third, after any bequest, which was made, or debt, as long as there is no detriment ]caused[. ]This is[ an ordinance from Allaah, and Allaah is Knowing and Forbearing. These are the limits ]set by[ Allaah, and whoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger will be admitted by Him to gardens ]in Paradise[ under which rivers flow, abiding eternally therein; and that is the great attainment."]Quran 4:11-13[
Here, it is necessary to clarify two important facts: the first is that the wife is not legally responsible, according to Sharee'ah, to provide for herself or anyone else. Secondly, she is free to use her wealth in any permissible way she likes, because Islam has insured her against financial liability. Thus, her money is guaranteed to increase in the absence of any financial obligations that may reduce it, unlike Muslim men, who have financial responsibilities.
3- Dowry
Whether big or small, the dowry is one of the woman’s confirmed financial rights that her guardian is not entitled to overlook or relinquish, when giving her away in marriage. There is no financial limit to a dowry, which is an obligation on men to confer to women, as proved in the verse in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:"And give the women ]upon marriage[ their ]bridal[ gifts graciously."]Quran 4:4[ The dowry remains the private property of a woman, whether its payment is given to her in advance or is deferred, as Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:"But if you want to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount ]in gifts[, do not take ]back[ from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?"]Quran 4:20[
‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, as Caliph, once prohibited exorbitant dowries, but later changed his opinion. Masrooq, may Allaah have mercy upon him, relates:
"‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, ascended the pulpit of the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said: 'O people! Why do you inflate the dowries of women? At the time of the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his Companions, they would give up to four hundred Dirhams or less. Had it been an honor or an act of piety to pay more, you could not have preceded them. Therefore, I no longer want to hear of any man who gives as dowry more than ]that[.'He then descended the pulpit, when a woman from Quraysh came to him and said, 'O Commander of the Believers! You prohibited people from paying more than four hundred Dirhams as dowry for women?' He replied, 'Yes.' She asked, 'Have you not heard what Allaah revealed in the Quran?' He inquired, `Which part of it do you mean?' She replied, 'The verse where Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(: }And you have given one of them a great amount ]in gifts[.{’ Thereupon, ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, uttered, 'O Allaah, forgive me; all people know better than ‘Umar.' He ascended the pulpit again, and said, 'O people, I forbade you from giving dowry worth more than four hundred Dirhams; however, now, ]I say[ whoever wants to offer more than that from his wealth, let him do so.’” According to Abu Ya‘la, may Allaah have mercy upon him, ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, "A person who wants to willingly give more, let him do so."
Here it should be noted that the dowry is not only the right of a Muslim wife, but also of a Jewish or Christian wife, as well as a believing female bondservant. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:"So marry them with the permission of their people and give them their due compensation{, that is, dowry, }according to what is acceptable."]Quran 4:25[
4- Her earnings
According to the scholars’ consensus, a woman is permitted to work if she needs to or when her community requires her skills, such as if she is qualified to be a physician or a teacher for females. Moreover, even if it is not a profession related to women, she is allowed to do any home-based work, such as writing books or useful articles. So long as her dignity is protected and her honor preserved, and she does not neglect her family duties, a woman can have such jobs. In fact, the noble Sharee'ah praises a person who is in charge of more than one task, and fulfills each with perfection and honesty, promising him or her a great reward from Allaah The Almighty.
Furthermore, according to the opinion of the majority of scholars, all of a woman’s income is her own private property, as they opine that the following verse proves, in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:"And for women is a share of what they have earned."]Quran 4:32[
5- Investment
Considering a woman is independent of financial liability under the Islamic Sharee'ah, she has the right to make investments with her money. For instance, she can employ an honest person who is skillful in trade, to invest her wealth on her behalf. Some scholars of Fiqh consider that the permission of her guardian, father or husband is a condition; but, this is not for the sake of controlling her, rather it is meant to protect her from malicious rumors )concerning her relationship with male employees(. Any and all profits that then result from her investment, along with her capital, are all hers.
These are some of the financial rights that Islam has granted Muslim women. I would like to draw attention to an article by Dr. Ismat Ghunaym who, aside from shedding light on this issue, also illustrated the difference between how Islam treats women and how the West does.
This is noteworthy, because despite what we hear from people in general, women in Western societies are still receiving discriminatory treatment, whereas rights as those mentioned above have been conferred to women in Islam nearly fifteen centuries ago and will continue so until the Day of Resurrection. Further, they are extracted from divine decree and not manmade laws, such as those in the West, that grant a woman only some of her rights and, even then, violate her dignity, such as when they were employed for the entertainment of soldiers in World War II.
Even before that, since time began, the People of the Book have historically viewed the woman as inferior to a man, because she was the one who enticed Adam into eating the forbidden fruit. Hence, a woman is considered sinful by nature. The Christian concept of original sin emerged, with Hawaa’ )Eve(, may Allaah exalt her mention, considered guilty for her principal role. For that reason as well, a Jew thanks his Lord every morning, for not creating him a woman. In fact, some of their earlier scholars condemned the woman, who, from their point of view, is the biggest source of sin and temptation.
Tertullian once addressed women, saying: “You are the Devil's gateways; you are the unsealer of that ]forbidden[ tree: you are the first deserter of the divine law.” In fact, a council in Rome debated over whether a woman had a soul or immortality, later decreeing that she had neither and was an impure animal. Rather, she was obliged to worship and serve, and her mouth muzzled in order to prevent her from laughing and talking, as she was deemed the snare of the devil. This opinion remains influential even in some circles today, as women are still prohibited from entering some Greek monasteries.
Even at the beginning of the modern age, Western women were in a deteriorated state. In 1790 AD, a woman was sold in the markets of England for two shillings because the church refused to continue providing for her sustenance. Even until 1882, women would not be entitled to own real estate or have the freedom to legally sue someone.
Moreover, education was considered a source of disgrace, as Elizabeth Blackwell was boycotted, disdained and considered impure, even by some fellow women, when she was studied at New York’s Geneva Medical College in 1847. Hence, where were the financial rights of women, let alone their good status in society?






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