Fathwa, - A forced Khul' is invalid

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Question
I have been married for twenty years and have four childrens 2 girls,2 boys.My husband gave first talak last year did ruzu next day. he gave second talak on 16 feb 2013.since then we are staying seprate and he is not providing money for me and childrens. On 18 march he came in the night and started to force me in front of my children's and said if I don't do as he say then told me to write on a plain paper that I am asking him for khulla. As all my children were frightened and crying I wrote what he said. What is the ruling I dnt want to stay wid him is Talak already done or he has to give a third one. children are left with me if we seprate is he liable for their expenses...we have a house in joint name can I keep the house as he is threatening me to take the house away saying its in hades if I don't want to stay I will not be liable to anything but have to give him what he ask for and he is asking for fifteen lakhs.he already has done two nikahother then me. He alleges I am asking for talak when he has given me two talak by himself. please help me and my childrens in this situation as right in the light of Islamic Ruling.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
First of all, you should know that a Fatwa is not enough for matters of dispute; rather, it is more appropriate in such matters to resort to an Islamic court or to an authority that acts on its behalf, so that the judge hears the claims of both parties. The judge's ruling is then binding on both parties, in contrast to a Fatwa.
We can say in general that if your husband did not take you back after the second divorce and your 'Iddah )waiting period( ended, then you are irrevocably divorced from him and you are entitled to all of the rights of a divorcee, and your husband cannot take you back except through a new marriage contract. But if your husband took you back before the expiry of your waiting period, then you remain as his wife. If you want to separate from him because of him causing harm to you, then you may plea to an Islamic court and clarify the matter to them in order for them to divorce you from him and you will get all that you are entitled to.
If he forced you to ask for Khul’, the Khul’ is invalid unless it took place with the wording of divorce or he intended divorce with the wording of Khul’ )This is under the premise that Khul’ is a form of annulment of the marriage contract and not a divorce(, in which case the divorce is effective, but it is a revocable divorce ]i.e. he can take you back before the expiry of your 'Iddah[.
Ibn Qudaamahsaid: “If a man keeps his wife under undesirable conditions and harms her by beating her and making life difficult for her, or deprives her of such of her rights as financial support, staying overnight with her or the like, in order that she compensates him for her freedom, and she did so, then the Khul’ is invalid, and the compensation is rejected )i.e. unlawful(......And if the compensation is not in his possession, and we consider Khul’ to be divorce, the divorce is effective and he is not entitled to the compensation. If the divorce is performed less than three times, the husband may take his wife back, as it is the compensation that eliminates the opportunity to revoke the divorce; so if there is no compensation, he has the right to take her back. If we, however, consider the Khul' to be an annulment of the marriage contract, and the husband does not intend divorce when performing it, then the divorce does not take effect.” ]End of quote[
On the other hand, if you want to separate from him not because of injury but because of you have an aversion to him, you may ask for Khul’ in return for you renouncing some of your rights. For more benefit on the ruling of Khul’, please refer to Fatwa89039and133315.
Moreover, a father is obliged to support his children as long as they are still young and do not have money; this goes whether the parents are married or separated. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86603and83934.
Finally, if you have partial ownership of the house, your husband is not allowed to take it from you without your consent. The Prophetsaid: "The money of a Muslim is not lawful )for anyone else to take it from him( unless he gives it with his own proper consent."]Ahmad[
Allaah Knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Fathwa, - Her practicing husband turned extremely dissolute

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Question
Asalam-o-laikum My friend married her husband because he was Islamic as she is practicing herself. she has been married for the last 3 years but in-between that time they were seperated for a year )2012(. whilst they were apart he started dealing drugs, Drinking Alcohol and sleeping around. When he took her back, he promised that he would change, but didn't. Then this Sept 2013 she found a girls number on his phone and when she phones that girl, it came to light that he has been having an affair for the last year. she then went to her parents house and as soon as she moved out another girl moved in for 2 months. He has now been in touch with her again said he will change and that she should give him another chance. She has been giving him chance after chance after chance. he has been violent towards her and mentally abused her and also at one point he was drunk and forced himself upon her. Prior to getting married to her, he was a drug dealer and whilst he was in prison he started practicing. so she thought he had reformed. He always says he will never ever divorce he but at the same time will not take her back. She married him because he was practicing. my question is- she married him because he was practicing and now he isn't )Shaved his beard as well( is the marriage still valid? I really need to know this because I am really worried about my friend. she has been told different things.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His Slave and Messenger.
Your question is somewhat unclear in some places, so it is better that you ask orally a trustworthy scholar or consult an Islamic center in your country. Nonetheless, we will answer your question according to the way we understood it.
From the words of the husband that he will never divorce her, we understand that she is still his wife. If this is the case, then she is still legitimately his wife, and him being dissolute does not take her outside his marriage bond.
As regards his statement that he will not take her back, if he meant that he will not have sexual intercourse with her as a wife, then he is not permitted to leave her hanging, neither divorced nor married. He has to either keep her in kindness or divorce her in kindness.
However, this man should be admonished and reminded of Allaah, called to repent from those evil deeds, and be advised to have good marital relations with his wife. If he repents and accepts advice, then praise to Allaah, otherwise, it is better for his wife to ask him for divorce even in return for compensation that she pays to him. If he does not accept, she should take her matter to one of the Islamic centers. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 225223, 94383and 92681.
Finally, we would like to point out to the following matters:
1. It is not permissible for a man to have an intimate relationship with a non-Mahram woman, as this is one of the causes of corruption and a means that leads to immorality )fornication or adultery(.
2. It is not permissible for a wife to leave the marital home without her husband's permission unless she has a legitimate reason. The fact that her husband is having an affair with that girl does not make it permissible for the wife to leave her husband’s home without his permission.
3. It is not permissible for the husband to abuse his wife by beating and humiliating her; this is an injustice especially if the wife is obedient to him. Allaah says )what means(: }But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and Grand.{ ]Quran 4:34[
Allaah Knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

The Ideal Muslim and His Wife - Part2

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In this way, the female waywardness which we see in many so-called Muslim homes will be done away with. The man who sees his wife, daughters and sisters going out in the street with make-up, uncovered heads and bare arms, clothed but seeming naked, and does nothing to stop this disobedience of Islam, has surely lost his manhood, abandoned Islam and earned the wrath of Allah (S.W.T.). There is no way out of his predicament but sincere repentance which will wake him up, restore his manhood and set him back on the straight path.
Islam has set out standards for women, and has defined the kind of clothing she should wear when she goes out in the street or appears in from of men who are not-mahram. This type of clothing is known ashijab. The Muslim woman who has been nurtured in pure Islam and has grown up in its protective atmosphere accepts thishijabwillingly and with a deep sense of conviction, knowing that it is from Allah (S.W.T.), and that it is not a tyranny designed by men to satisfy their egotistical desires to control women, or a custom invented during the decadent Umawi (Umayyad) period, as is claimed by those worthless fools who have no sound proof from the Qur’an whatsoever.
In a report narrated by Bukhari, ‘A’ishah said: “May Allah have mercy on the early muhajir women. When Allah (S.W.T.) revealed: ". . .they should draw their veils over their bosoms. . ."(Qur’an 24:31) they tore their aprons and covered their heads and faces with them.” In another report, also given by Bukhari, she said: “They cut their waist-sheets at the edges and covered their heads and faces with the cut pieces.”
Safiyyah bint Shaybah said:
“While we were with ‘A’ishah we mentioned the women of Quraysh and how good they were. ‘A’ishah said: ‘The women of Quraysh are good but by Allah (S.W.T.) I have never seen any better than the women of the Anîar or any more convinced of the Book of Allah (S.W.T.) or with a deeper faith in the Revelation. WhenSurat al-Nurwas revealed "… they should draw their veils over their bosoms..."the men turned to their wives, daughters, sisters and other female relatives and recited these words to them. Not one of them failed to take her decorated wrapper and wrap it around her head and face, in acceptance of and belief in what Allah (S.W.T.) had revealed. The next morning they were behind the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) wrapped up in their veils, looking as if they had black crows on their heads.’”17
Many Allah (S.W.T.) have mercy on the women of the Anîar: how strong was their faith, how sincere was their Islam and how beautiful was their response to the Truth when it was revealed! Every woman who truly believes in Allah (S.W.T.) and His Messenger cannot do other than to adhere to the distinctive Islamic dress, regardless of whatever nakedness andtabarruj(wanton display) surrounds her. I remember a veiled Muslim student at the University of Damascus whose attitude was no less commendable than that of the women of the Ansar; when a visiting journalist asked her about herhijaband why she was putting up with it in the heat of summer, she quoted: "…Say:‘The Fire of Hell is fiercer in heat…’ " (Qur’an 9:81)
It is pure, sincere Muslim girls like this who will establish Muslim families, raise the next generation in a sound way and fill society with strong, productive men. Nowadays there are many such girls,al-hamdulillah!
The sincere Muslim is responsible for his womenfolk’s adherence to the Islamic teachings regarding her going out, and thehijabwhich is the badge of the Muslim woman. The day when a husband lets his wife or his environment take over and dispenses with this Islamic ruling without being able to stand up to them, is the day he says good-bye to both his religion and his manhood.
The husband’s responsibility for his wife does not stop with her outward appearance, but also includes her worship and conduct. He is responsible for her if she omits some act of worship, or if she neglects or deliberately ignores her duties towards Allah (S.W.T.). He is responsible for her good behavior and completion of her duties. Any shortcomings on her part will detract from her husband’s manhood, diminish his Islam and damage the role ofqawwamwith which Allah (S.W.T.) has honored him.
Islam considers women to be a trust which has been given to men for safe-keeping. As the wife is usually influenced by her husband, he may take her with him to Paradise or lead her to Hell. Therefore Allah (S.W.T.) ordered the believing men to protect both themselves and their families from the Fire and gave a terrifying picture of the awful fate that awaits them if they neglect their responsibilities towards their wives and families and fail to compel them to adhere to the truth:
"O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are [appointed] angels stern [and] severe, who flinch not [from executing] the Commands they receive from Allah, but do [precisely] what they are commanded." (Qur’an 66:6)
The role ofqawwamover women which Islam gives to men cannot truly be fulfilled unless the husband is a successful leader of his family. The Muslim husband does not assert his manhood through roughness, cruelty, violence and harsh words. This is the manhood of ignorance (jahiliyyah); Islamic manhood is something else altogether. The Islamic ideal of manhood is: a strong and likeable personality; a noble attitude; tolerance and forgiveness of minor mistakes; strong adherence to the laws of Allah (S.W.T.) and determination to apply them to every member of his family; brilliant leadership in guiding his family to the truth; generosity without being extravagant; a thorough understanding of his responsibilities in this world and the next; and a clear idea of the ideal Muslim home. These are the characteristics of the true Muslim as Islam wants him to be.
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1 Reported by al-Nisa’i, with a îa sahih isnad.
2 Reported by al-Nisa’i and Ibn Majah, with a îa sahih isnad.
3 Reported by al-Hakim, who said it is îa sahih according to the conditions of Bukhari and Muslim.
4 Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, with a îa sahih isnad.
5 “Iyyakum wa khadra’ al-diman” (literally, “Beware of the greens of dung”) is a well-known saying in Arabic. It is a proverb, not a Hadith of the Prophet (S.A.W). [Author]
6 Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a Hasan îa Sahih hadith.
7 Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a hasan îa sahih hadith.
8 Reported by Abu Dawud, al-Nisa’i and Ibn Majah. Ibn Hijr said in al-Isabah: “Its isnad is Sahih.”
8 The words with which Muslims should greet one another are “al-salam ‘alaykum” (peace be upon you), not “Hi,” “Hello,” or “Good morning.”
10 Reported by al-Tirmidhi who said: it is a hasan gharib hadith.
11 Al-Haythami, 4/316; al-Muntakhab 4/393; Kanz al-‘Ummal, 7/302. Al-Haythami said: It was narrated by Abu Ya‘la, and its narrators are those who narrated in Sahih (Bukhari), except for Muhammad ibn ‘Amr ibn ‘Alqamah, whose hadith is hasan
12 A sahih hadith, narrated by Ahmad and Abu Dawud.
13 Reported by al-Nisa’i via Yazid ibn Ruman from ‘A’ishah. See also different reports from her in Fath al-Bari, Bab al-‘idayn (chapter on the two Eids).
14 Reported by al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak; he said it is îa sahih according to the condition of Bukhari and Muslim
15 Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a Hasan îa sahih hadith.
16 See Fath al-Bari, commentary on Sahih Bukhari
17 See al-Hilyah, 1/106; Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, 3/394; al-Kanz, 8/305.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M