Dought & clear, - He thought of becoming a Christian; did he commit apostasy?

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I have been living in Britain for four years, and a few months ago I decided to become a Christian! But I did not do it. When I made that decision, I was saying to myself: If any of them asks me, what is your religion, I will say that I am a Christian and that Jesus is the “son of God” (I ask Allah to forgive me for that). But I also used to say to myself: No; Islam is the only true religion.
Then one day I heard an exhortation of yours on YouTube, and it moved me deeply. I cancelled that intention that I had made to become Christian; in other words, I did not go to the church and did not do anything of that nature.
My question is: are the words that I said to myself sufficient to have made me become a Christian? And therefore do I have to go to a mosque and utter the twin declaration of faith (shahaadatayn)?
Praise be to Allah
We praise Allah, may He be exalted, for having opened your eyes to the seriousness of what you did and your decision to turn to a religion other than Islam, and for His blessing you so that you changed your mind before it was too late. We would like to point out two things to you here:
Firstly:
What you did of deciding to become a disbeliever, and making your mind up to become a Christian constitutes apostasy from the religion of Islam, even if you did not actually enter the church or do any of the other actions that Christians do. Merely deciding to disbelieve constitutes disbelief in Allah, may He be exalted. The same applies to a person’s indecision as to whether he should turn to another religion or remain in Islam.
Imam an-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Deciding to become a disbeliever in the future constitutes disbelief in the present. The same applies to indecision as to whether to disbelieve or not; it constitutes disbelief in the present. That also applies to making disbelief conditional upon some future matter.
End quote fromRawdat at-Taalibeen, 10/65. Something similar was said inNihaayat al-Muhtaajand elsewhere. See also:Majma‘ al-Anhaar(a Hanafi book), 1/688
InHaashiyat al-Bujayrimi ‘ala al-Khateebit says:
Intending to disbelieve now or to disbelieve in the future constitutes disbelief in the present, because intending to be a Muslim forever is essential, so if he decides to disbelieve (in the future), he has already disbelieved.
InHaashiyat al-Jamal(5/122) it says something similar.
Secondly:
It is not one of the conditions of your repentance that you should announce that in the mosque or Islamic centre, especially since you made that decision in your own mind and it did not result in spreading disbelief or mischief among the Muslims. As that is the case, it is sufficient for you to repent sincerely to your Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, to utter the Shahaadatayn, and adhere to the religion of Allah, may He be exalted, in all your affairs, and to disbelieve in all other religions.
If you do ghusl before that, that would be good, in sha Allah.
We advise you to seek knowledge and devote yourself to acts of worship and obedience, because the one who does that will increase and strengthen his faith. You should also be keen to offer supplication (du‘aa’), for it is the weapon of the believer, by means of which Allah will ward off evil from you and will protect you, by virtue of your remembrance of Him, from the tricks of your enemy and His enemy.
And Allah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

For children, - Bahlool and the Thief, Bahlool Jokes, Bahlool and Humor, Islamic Jokes, Bahlool Wisdom

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Whenever Bahlool happened to have money in excess of his expenses, he used to save it by concealing it in one corner of a ruined and broken down house; this continued till the amount eventually reached a figure of three hundred dinars.
The next occasion when he had saved another ten dinars and had gone to the place to add it to his concealed savings, a trader who lived in the neighbourhood, found out about the hideout. As soon as Bahlool had left the hiding place, the neighbour dug up the money that was concealed beneath the ground.
The next time when Bulool came to the place, he found his money missing and immediately realized that it was the work of the trader. Bahlool decided to approach the trader.
"I wish to trouble you by telling you about my secret," Bahlool said to the trader. "I have placed my money in different places." Then he began enumerating the places till the entire figure reached three thousand dinars. "The place where I have placed three hundred and ten dinars is the safest of them all. I now wish to transfer all my money to this place in the ruined house." Saying this, he bid the trader goodbye and left.
The trader decided to return the three hundred and ten dinars to the place from where he had stolen the money with the intention that when Bahlool placed all his money there, he would steal the increased amount. Some days later, Bahlool returned to the ruins and found the three hundred and ten dinars in its original location. Taking out the money, he defecated there and covered it with earth.
Immediately after Bahlool had left, the trader rushed towards the spot and, removing the earth, sought to collect the entire money, only to find his hand dirtied by the excrement. He thus comprehended Bahlool's deception. A few days later Bahlool visited him.
"I want you to compute some figures associated with my money," said Bahlool. "How much does eighty dinars added to fifty dinars added to one hundred dinars, and this sum added to the dirty odour that emanates from your hands, sum up to?"
Saying this, he took to his heels. The trader rushed after him in hot pursuit, but failed to catch him.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Hadees, -

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- - Narrated 'Aisha (r.a) (the mother of the faithful believers) : Al-Harith bin Hisham (r.a) asked Allah's Messenger Sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam, "O Allah's Messenger! How is the Divine Inspiration revealed to you?" Allah's Messenger Sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam replied, "Sometimes it is (revealed) like the ringing of a bell, this form of Inspiration is the hardest of all and then this state passes off after I have grasped what is inspired. Sometimes the Angel comes in the form of a man and talks to me and I grasp whatever he says." 'Aisha (r.a) added: Verily, I saw the Prophet Sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam being inspired (divinely) and (noticed) the sweat dropping from his forehead on a very cold day as the Inspiration was over. [1:2-O.B]
From :
Sahih Al-Bukhari
The Book of Revelation
Hadith 2 - -

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M