Marital Life, - Before it is Too Late

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| It was completely unpredictable that something was going to happen and that my young, gentle cousin would experience the most difficult trial or that her two young children would become orphans in less than a moment.
As usual, her husband dined and performed the ‘Ishaa’prayer at home after a long, exhausting day at work. As he folded the rug on which he performed the prayer, he said to her, "May Allaah forgive me. I was occupied with work and did not pray at the mosque today." She carried the dishes of food and went to the kitchen. Before she had put them in the sink, she heard a bang and a crashing on the floor. She ran to find her husband lying motionless on the floor. Minutes later, the doctor arrived, turned his hands and sadly announced her husband's demise.
A few days earlier, l had offered condolences to my friend at the death of her husband who fell on the floor of the bathroom while he was performing ablution. He left behind two children; the older is three years old and the other is a newborn. Less than one month later, my husband prayed the funeral prayer over his neighbor whom he had met and greeted on the staircase that morning as the two were going to work. After every consolation, the question that emerged was regarding the last words that the husband said to his wife before he died. Was he pleased with her or not? I was astonished with myself and spoke to my husband about this. He smiled, and said, "Press inquisitiveness." Actually, it was not mere inquisitiveness; my questions were accompanied by intense fear and worry as well as intense certainty. I realized why the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, warned wives against letting the night pass while her husband is angry with her, and why he gave the glad tidings of Paradise for any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her.
I was terrified at the thought that a disagreement could arise between me and my husband and we would have a row, then he would go to bed, draw the cover over his head, sleep, and never wake up again. It would be impossible for me to make up with him and see a pleased smile of forgiveness on his lips and a look of tolerance in his eye. I did not ask any widow the questions that I had. I kept my concerns within myself and sought refuge with Allaah The Almighty from interfering in other people’s affairs. Since that time, a strange change took place in my life. When my husband goes to bed while I am busy with some housework, I leave the work and go to his bed in order to watch his breath and be certain that it is regular. When he delays a little after the usual time of coming home from work, I sit there trembling behind the door of the apartment as if I am waiting for someone who will tell me what I do not want to hear.
It has become the favorite jest of my husband when I talk to him, to put his hand on my mouth and imitate me saying: "Sweetheart, are you pleased with me," then he bursts into laughter. I have come to ask him this repeatedly after my shock to see the sudden death of three healthy husbands within just one month. The only good thing about these sad feelings is that they alerted me to the wisdom and eloquence of the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and made me keener to please my husband. They purified me from the remains of arrogance that sometimes caused me to think that I was not guilty when I really wronged him; and prevented me from thinking that he might die while being angry with me. It has become easy for me to apologize even though I used to find that was difficult for me to do. It has become my pleasure to please my husband after it was just a duty. My husband's waking up and peacefully returning home after work have become the happiest moments of my life after they used to be usual routine. I used to be indifferent to those moments as if I was saying, "It is a routine that he wakes up. It is ordinary routine that he returns home after work." His voice has become more lovable to my ears. When I tidy his study, prepare his food or arrange his clothes, I supplicate to Allaah The Almighty not to deprive me of this beautiful effort, the wonderful effort which indicates that my husband is still with me and that he is alive.
I did not want to keep such feelings to myself, I believe that it is a trust and responsibility to transfer it to each wife. How wonderful it is for a wife to go to sleep while her husband is pleased and content with her. If he dies during that night, it would relieve a little of her sadness to know that he was pleased with her. How wonderful it is for the wife to know that her husband was not angry with her or annoyed at some of her behavior when he died. Each Muslim wife, who knows the correct way, should expect the death of her husband at any moment and, therefore, she should not surrender to the feelings of fear and ask herself, "What will I do without him?" She has to love him more and do her best to fill him with feelings of satisfaction and happiness. She has to minimize their disputes, cherish the moments of affection and serenity and not allow them to pass. She has to do only what brings his satisfaction and avoid everything that displeases him.
Many wives are miserable with their husbands and because of them. This really happens. They may be unable to do anything but wish that death would separate them. However, I am sure that they would regret this when the wish is realized, long for the days of their life together and repeat in a sad voice an Arabic proverb that I have recently understood the wisdom of, "His cruelty is better than the emptiness of his place at home."
Moreover, I realized how hasty I was when I harbored enmity towards their saying, "The mere shade of a man is better than the shade of a wall," and considered it a disgraceful proverb that mocked women. The shade of the wall does not provide feelings of security, cordiality nor remove the loss of feelings of loneliness and silence. The shade of a wall is not a being that a woman can belong to or be a member in a family with. Without her husband, a woman is hanging in space. The shade of a man is the shade of a partner, even if he is a contradicting partner. Only a foolish woman wastes the privilege of having a husband and fails to protect herself with him from the coldness of loneliness and the bitterness of regret when it is too late. |

Dought & clear, - Why is the legacy mentioned first in the aayah, “after payment of legacies that you may have bequeathed or debts” [al-Nisa’ 4:12]?.

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| Why is the word wasiyah (legacy, will, bequest) mentioned in the Qur’an before the word dayn (debt?) when we know that the debt must be paid off before the legacy is given?
Praise be to Allaah.
Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “What is the reason why the legacy is mentioned before the debt, when the debt takes precedence according to scholarly consensus, i.e., the debts of the deceased must be paid off from his estate before his will is executed… this may be answered in five ways:
1 – What is meant is that these two issues take precedence over the issue of inheritance, and the order in which they are mentioned is not indicative of which one is more important. Hence the bequest was mentioned first.
2 – Because the legacy is less binding than debt, it is mentioned first to show that it is nevertheless important, as when Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“What sort of Book is this that leaves neither a small thing nor a big thing…”
[al-Kahf 18:49]
…
4 – The legacy is mentioned first because it is the share of the poor and needy, and the debt is mentioned second because it is the share of the lender who can seek it with force and who has a strong argument to support his case.
5 – Because the legacy is something that is initiated by the person, it is mentioned first, whereas the debt is something that is well established and clear whether he mentioned it or not.
Seeal-Jaami’ li Ahkaam al-Qur’aanby al-Qurtubi, vol. 5, p. 74.
Some scholars added two extra points:
“The legacy is mentioned first because the legacy is an act of kindness and upholding family ties, unlike the debt which usually results from a kind of neglect. So the phrase starts with the legacy because it is of greater virtue.
And it was said that the legacy is mentioned first because it is something that is given for nothing in return, whereas the debt is given in return for something. So payment of the legacy is harder for the heirs than payment of the debt, and paying the legacy may be thought of as a form of waste, unlike the debt which the heir will pay with condifence.” |

Dought & clear, - Rulings on revitalizing disusedland.

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| What constitutes revitalizing disused land (al-mawaat)? What are the rulings on that?
Praise be to Allaah.
Al-Mawaat is that which has no soul. The meaning here is land which has no owner.
The fuqahaa’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) defined it as land which is not being used for a specific purpose and which is not owned by anyone whose ownership is protected by sharee’ah.
Two things are exempted from this definition:
(1) Land which has come under the protected ownership of a Muslim or a kaafir via purchase, as a gift or any other means.
(2) Land which serves the interests of owners whose ownership of land is protected, such as roads, courtyards and waterways, or lands which serve the interests of city dwellers, such as graveyards, garbage dumps, places designated for Eid prayers, woodlots and pastures. None of these may be acquired by revitalizing the land.
So if the land is not owned by a person whose ownership is protected, and it is not serving a specific purpose, and someone revitalizes it, then he becomes the owner of it, because of the hadeeth of Jaabir which was attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever revitalizes dead (disused) land, it becomes his.” This was narrated by Ahmad and al-Tirmidhi, who classed it as saheeh. There are other ahaadeeth which are similar in meaning, some of which are narrated inSaheeh al-Bukhaari.
Most of the fuqahaa’ of different regions agreed that possession of disused land may be taken by revitalizing it, although they differed as to the conditions attached to that, except for the disused lands of the Haram (sanctuary of Makkah) and of ‘Arafaat, which cannot be taken possession of by revitalizing them, because that would make it too difficult to perform the rituals and because he would be taking land which may have to be used during the Hajj.
Revitalizing disused land may take several forms:
(1) If a person encloses it with a solid wall to keep others out, of the kind that is usually used for that purpose, then he has revitalized it, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever encloses land with a wall, it becomes his.” This was narrated by Ahmad and Abu Dawood from Jaabir, and classed as saheeh by al-Jaarood; a similar report was narrated from Samurah. This indicates that enclosing the land is one of the things by which a person earns the right to ownership. What should be borne in mind is what the word haa’it (wall) refers to in linguistic terms; if a person merely places stones, piles of dirt or a small wall around the land which does not keep anyone out, or he digs a ditch around it, then he does not take possession of it, but he will have more right to revitalize it than anyone else, and he is not permitted to sell it unless he revitalizes it.
(2) If he digs a well on the disused land and reaches water, then he has revitalized it. If he digs a well but does not reach water, then he does not take possession of the land thereby, but he will have more right to it than others, because he has started to revitalize it.
(3) If he brings water to the disused land from a spring or river, then he has revitalized it thereby, because the water is of more benefit to the land than a wall.
(4) If he drains water from disused land which was covered with water, because of which the land was not suitable for farming, and he drains the water so the land then becomes fit for that use, then he has revitalized it, because this is of more benefit to the land than the wall by building which, according to the report, one takes possession of the land.
Some of the scholars think that revitalizing disused land should not stop there; rather the matter should be referred to ‘urf (custom) and what the people count as revitalizing land, because through this revitalizing process he will become the owner of the land. This was the view of a group of Hanbali imams and others, because sharee’ah made revitalizing the land the condition for taking possession of it, but it did not define precisely what was meant by revitalizing. So we should refer to what is regarded as revitalizing land according to custom.
The Muslim ruler has the right to give land to one who will revitalize it, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave land to Bilaal ibn al-Haarith al-‘Aqeeq, he gave land in Hadramawt to Waa’il ibn Hajr; and he gave land to ‘Umar, ‘Uthmaan and a number of the Sahaabah. But the recipient does not become the owner of the land just because he has been given it, unless he revitalizes it, but he has more right to it than others, so if he revitalizes it, it becomes his, and if he is unable to revitalize it, the ruler can take it back and give it to someone else who is able to revitalize it. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) took back land from those who were unable to revitalize it.
Whoever reaches a permissible thing first – apart from disused land – such as game [animals or birds for hunting] or wood, then he has more right to it.
If water that is permissible for everybody (i.e., water that is not owned by anybody) passes through people’s lands, such as a river or the water of a wadi, then the owner of the higher land has the right to use the water for irrigation and to withhold it until it reaches the ankles, then he should let it flow to people further on, and so on in turn. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Irrigate (your land), O Zubayr, then withhold the water until it reaches the walls between the pits round the trees” (agreed upon). ‘Abd al-Razzaaq quoted Mu’ammar al-Zuhri as saying, “We looked at the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), ‘then withhold the water until it reaches the walls between the pits round the trees,’ and it came up to the ankles.” In other words, they worked it out from the story and found that it came up to the ankles, so they made that the standard for deciding how much the first one should take, then the next one, and so on. Abu Dawood and others narrated from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled concerning the waterway of Mazoor (a well known wadi in Madeenah) that the (owner of the) higher (land) should withhold the water until it reached the ankles, then the (owner of the) higher (land) should let it flow to the lower (land).
But if the water is owned, it should be divided among the owners based on the size of their land, and each of them may dispose of his share as he wishes.
The leader of the Muslims has the right to protect the grazing lands of the flocks belonging to the Bayt al-Maal (treasury) of the Muslims, such as horses used for jihad and camels given in charity, so long as that will not harm the people by making things difficult for them. Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) protected (the land of) al-Naqee’ for the horses of the Muslims. It is permissible for the ruler to protect the grass of disused lands for the camels given in charity, the horses of the mujaahideen, the cattle given as jizyah (tax paid by non-Muslim subjects of the Islamic state) and lost animals, if there is a need for that and if that will not cause hardship to the Muslims. |

Dought & clear, - How to deal with papers on which Allaah’s name is mentioned.

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| What is the sharia's ruling about personal names found in newspapers etc that include either the prophet's name or Allah's name (Abdullah, AbdulKarim)? How may these papers be disposed of or destroyed?
Praise be to Allaah.
These papers on which Allaah’s name is mentioned should be kept and protected against being handled with disrespect until you have finished with them. When you have finished with them and no longer have any need of them, they should be buried in a clean place, or burnt, or kept in a place where they will be protected against disrespect, such as in a cupboard or on shelves, etc. |