Fathwa, - Her friend hates men, claiming Islam gives themsuperiority

Question
Assalamu alaikum. My friend hates boys much saying they r superior. islam gvs them importance etc. How can i advice her in light of islam. She has much wrong guesses. She startd hating from childhood when she saw teachers giving priority to males. Even she says she wont marry anyone. She says u cant make me lyk boys nor remove my hate. i hope u could help by telling how can i deal this islamically.] shes a good believer i hope[
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, is His Slave and Messenger.
Allaah, The Almighty, made man and woman complementary to each other and a means of tranquility for each other. Allaah, The Almighty, says )what means(:
• }And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.{]Quran 30: 21[
• }And We created you in pairs.{]Quran 78: 7[
Ibn Katheersaid: "]Pairs[ means male and female - each of them enjoying the other, and through this means procreation is achieved." ]End quote[
A woman's life cannot be stable without a man and vice versa. Therefore, if a woman hates the male gender as a whole, then it is something against the Fitrah )i.e. natural disposition( that Allaah, The Almighty, has created in women. Just because Allaah, The Almighty, distinguished men with some features not for women, this does not justify hating them. Allaah is the One Who has distinguished men with some features not for women, and He distinguished women with some features not for men. In addition, Allaah forbade His slaves from wishing for the things that He preferred others with, saying )what means(: }And do not wish for that by which Allaah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allaah of his bounty. Indeed Allaah is ever, of all things, Knowing.{]Quran 4:32[
Ibn Jareersaid in his Tafseer )interpretation of the Quran(: "Do not desire that by which Allaah has made some of you exceed the others. It is said that this verse was sent down because some women wished for the status and rights of men. Hence, Allaah, The Almighty, forbade His slaves to have such false desires and commanded them to ask Him for His bounty because desires cause envy and hatred without right cause." ]End quote[
This is what may have occurred to your friend and may be what led her to envy and to hate men under the claim that they were preferred to women. Yet she neglects the fact that women have a high status in Islam, as pointed out in Fataawa 163533, 81205and 87751, which are about the status of women in Islam and observing women's rights. Therefore, you should advise your friend and explain to her what we have mentioned above. We ask Allaah to guide us and her and give us success.
Allaah Knows best.

Social Concerns, - The Dayyooth is deprivedof Paradise

The purifiedSharee‘ahof Islam encourages good manners and forbids bad ones owing to the harm that affects individuals and societies when bad manners prevail.
The IslamicSharee‘ahcame to guard the purity of progenies and to protect people's honor against anything that would soil or transgress them. Therefore, it sets the severest forms of punishment for anyone who thinks of violating the honor of others. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}The ]unmarried[ woman or ]unmarried[ man found guilty of sexual intercourse - lash each one of them with a hundred lashes, and do not be taken by pity for them in the religion of Allaah...{]Quran 24:2[
This punishment is applied to unmarried persons. Married adulterers, however, receive the punishment of stoning to death under theSharee‘ah. The IslamicSharee‘ahalso prohibits marrying a person who is known for practicing illegal sexual intercourse. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}The fornicator does not marry except a ]female[ fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers.{]Quran 24:3[
Not only does theSharee'ahdo so, but it also raises the status of guarding honor so high that a person who is killed in defense of his honor will gain the degree of a martyr. The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:“A person who is killed in defense of his honor is a martyr.”
Moreover, theSharee‘ahbrings up its adherents on being protectively jealous about their honor: The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said about this attribute in a Companion of his:“Do you wonder at Sa‘d's jealousy? By Allaah, I am more jealous than him, and Allaah Is more jealous than me...”
Indeed, there is no good in a person who has no protective jealousy, for such a person moves towards Hell and distances himself from Paradise. He also makes his honor vulnerable to assault from anybody. This is theDayyooth, who is he who does not feel jealous when his honor is violated and who overlooks the indecency and immoral behavior of his family while he knows that it is wrong to do so. By doing this, he exposes himself to disgrace and humiliation.
Arabs and especially Muslims still venerate matters of honor. They respect the person who defends his honor and female family members, even if this means that he sacrifices his life and wealth. They guard their honor with whatever wealth they may have, for there is no value of any wealth when honor is lost. Moreover, if a person disregards this, he will be worthless in this world and in the Hereafter, and will be away from Allaah The Almighty. The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:“Allaah The Almighty will not look at three persons on the Day of Resurrection: a person who is undutiful to his parents; a masculine woman; and the Dayyooth."]Saheeh[
This incurable disease does not afflict anyone but the person who lacks a sense of honor and jealousy and whose faith is weak. He does not care about non-Mahram)i.e., marriageable( men visiting his womenfolk, intermixing with them, or them appearing unveiled before them.
In fact, a person would be utterly shocked at seeing such "men" buying clothes for their women that reveal more than they cover, or clothes that are transparent and display the charms of the body. They are happy that people look at the ‘Awrah)nakedness( of their wives or the women whom Allaah has made them responsible for. They boast of their liberation from decency and virtue, and behave immorally and indecently. Such a man is a corpse in the guise of a living person.
Al-Ghazaali, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,“If a person lacks proper manly fervor, he is unlikely to react appropriately towards any assault against his womenfolk or wife. He will submissively bear humiliation from evil people and will have low self-esteem. This may cause such a person to lack any feeling of protective jealousy regarding his womenfolk. In this case, his offspring may become adulterated. Therefore it is said: ‘Once protective jealousy dies down in the men of a particular nation, the chastity of its women will be weakened.’”
Ath-Thahabi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,“A man who realizes immorality in his wife and ignores it because he loves her, or because he owes her money that he is unable to pay back, or because he owes her a large dowry, or because he has young children from her, then there will be no good in him for he lacks jealousy. A person who possesses this attitude is the Dayyooth.”
The Mass Media Encourages theDayyooth
People may think that the mass media shape the Muslim’s personality in an upright manner, but the reality is the opposite. It is in fact one of the greatest encouragers of theDayyoothand a destroyer of protective jealousy. It broadcasts immoral pornographic scenes, obscene advertisements and lewd songs. It beautifies such dissolute men and women and presents them as examples. Women even chant their love of a specific actor or singer in front of their husbands, fathers and brothers, who have no reaction at all. In some media programs, a married woman or a girl may call to express her love and adoration of the actor, paying no attention to the reaction of her male relatives, perhaps, because she is certain they will not object.

Social Concerns, - What Do Scholars Say about Intermixing? - I

• Imaam Ash-Shaafi‘i, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said in his book Al-Umm, "I do not like women to be buried with men in a single grave as long as there is no necessity. However, if this is necessary, then the man should be in front and the woman in the back along with a separator of dust between them."
Imaam Ash-Shaafi‘i, may Allaah have mercy upon him, hated mixing men and women even if they were dead in the grave not feeling the presence of one another, so, what should we say about college students who sit with the boy’s thigh stuck to his girlfriend’s thigh while they are alive, with desire running in their veins and each of them wants the other?
• Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said in At-Turuq Al-Hukmiyyah fi As-Syaasah Ash-Shar‘iyyah:
Some Islamic jurists rightly stated that it is allowable for the ruler )concerned authorities( to spoil the clothing of women who impermissibly expose their adornment with ink or so if this is suitable. This is considered the least financial punishment, as the Commander of the Believers ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, prevented women from walking with men or intermixing with them in the roads.
Shaykh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said in Al-Fataawa )15/297(,"Unlike the man, the woman should be protected and preserved; hence, she was specified with the command to wear the Hijaab )Islamic covering( and refrain from showing her adornment before non-Mahram )marriageable( men. Therefore, she, unlike the man, must abide in her house and must abide by Hijaab, because the appearance of women without necessity causes temptation, and men are in charge of them."
• Shaykh Ahmad Shaakir, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,
Imaam Ahmad, may Allaah have mercy upon him, narrated on the authority of Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, that she said, “O Messenger of Allaah, why are we not allowed to perform Jihaad )armed struggle( like men? Why do we receive half the share of inheritance available to males?” Thereupon, Allaah The Almighty revealed )what means(:}And do not wish for that by which Allaah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allaah of his bounty. Indeed Allaah is ever, of all things, knowing.{]Quran 4:32[
Shaykh Ahmad Shaakir, may Allaah have mercy upon him, commented on this Hadeeth )narration( saying, "This Hadeeth refutes the allegations made by the contemporary liars who are keen on spreading immorality among the believers to be as immoral as the non-Muslims. They encourage women to leave their houses to enlist in the army, where their arms and thighs are exposed and their front and back are shown, intending, in fact, to entertain the young soldiers who are deprived of women in the army; in imitation of the dissolute Jews and Westerners, may the successive curses of Allaah be upon them until the Day of Judgment."
• Dr. Saalih ibn Fawzaan Al-Fawzaan said in his book Rulings Pertaining to Muslim Women:
Today, the enemies of Islam - rather, the enemies of humanity, including the disbelievers and hypocrites who have a disease in their hearts -- are embittered by the chastity and honorable status of the Muslim woman under Islam.
That is because the enemies of Islam want women to serve as a tool of destruction and a trap by which they can seduce and prey on those who have weak faith and those who have a perverted nature, after getting her to fulfill their frenzied desires. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Allaah wants to accept your repentance, but those who follow ]their[ passions want you to digress ]into[ a great deviation.{]Quran 4:28[
The Muslims who have a disease in their hearts want the woman to be a cheap commodity displayed before lascivious ‎people. They want her to be an object, exposed before their eyes so they can enjoy her beauty or reach of her what is uglier than that.
That is why they endeavor to get the woman out of her house to work side by side with men, or to serve men as a nurse in hospitals, a stewardess on board planes, a teacher or professor in mixed schools, an actress or singer in theaters, or a broadcaster in the mass media where she would seduce men by her voice and beauty.
Immoral magazines have taken seductive ‎pictures of girls as a means for promoting and marketing themselves. Similarly, some businessmen and companies exploit such pictures to promote their products.
These conspiracies led women to abandon their natural and true duty inside her house, which forced husbands to hire foreign female maids to raise their children and take care of the affairs of their households, and this has resulted in great evil and much temptation.

Social Concerns, - What Do Scholars Say about Intermixing? - II

• Shaykh Ibn Baaz, may Allaah have mercy upon him, answering the advocates of permissiveness and necessity of intermixing between the sexes:
In answer to the Director of San‘aa’ University, Abdul-‘Azeez Al-Muqaalih, who wrote an article in As-Siyaasah newspaper in 24/7/1404 AH, calling for intermixing between the sexes in educational institutions, arguing that both men and women used to perform prayer in the same mosque during the lifetime of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, Shaykh Ibn Baaz, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said:
There is no doubt that this call represents a serious violation of the Islamic Sharee'ah )Islamic legislation(, because the Sharee'ah does not call for intermixing between the sexes but rather forbids it and stresses such forbiddance. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
•}And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as ]was[ the display of the former times of ignorance.{]Quran 33:33[
•}O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves ]part[ of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allaah Forgiving and Merciful.{]Quran 33:58[
•}And tell the believing women to reduce ]some[ of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which ]necessarily[ appears thereof and to wrap ]a portion of[ their head covers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allaah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.{]Quran 24:31[
•}And when you ask ]his wives[ for something, ask them from behind a partition. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts.{]Quran 33:53[
There are many other verses in the Quran calling women to remain in their houses for fear of temptation, as long as there is no necessity for them to leave the house.
It was narrated on the authority of Usaamah ibn Zayd, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:“I am not leaving behind me a more harmful temptation for men than women.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
It was also narrated on the authority of Abu Sa‘eed Al-Khudri, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:“The world is sweet and green )alluring(; and verily, Allaah is making you succeed each other, generation after generation in order to see how you act. So, beware of this world and beware of women, for they were the first trial of Banu Israel.”]Muslim[
It is known that when male and female students sit at the same desk, this causes temptation, particularly when the female students do not adhere to the Hijaab )Islamic covering(. There was no intermixing between men and women during the lifetime of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam -- neither in the mosque nor in markets; rather, rows of women were always behind those of men. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:“The best of the men's rows )in prayer( is the first row and the worst ‎is the last; and the best of the woman's rows is the last and the worst is the first.”The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, also used to command his Companions to wait for a while until the women had left the mosque. He also commanded women not to walk in the middle of the road, and used to go to the women to preach to them after the men at the conclusion of the ‘Eed prayer because they were at a distance, unable to hear the Khutbah )sermon(.
• Shaykh Ibn Baaz, may Allaah have mercy upon him, also said in answer to Al-Jazeerah newspaper, issued in 15/4/1403 AH, where some writers suggested mixed education in elementary schools:
This is a very dangerous and evil suggestion. It was narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn Al-‘Aas, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:“Command your children to perform prayer when they are seven years old, and beat them for )not offering( it when they are ten, and separate them in beds.”]Abu Daawood[
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, commanded us to prevent boys and girls from sharing the same bed after the age of ten because such intermixing may lead to immorality.
• Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah have mercy upon him, was asked the following question:"I am a young man from a rich family. I study at a mixed school and this helped me establish shameful relationships with girls. I have committed many sins and I want to know what I should do to get rid of my misery. Is there repentance for me? What are the conditions of repentance?"
In his response to this question, Shaykh ibn ‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah have mercy upon him, called upon rulers to protect their people from the causes of evil and temptation, particularly the Fitnah )trial( of intermixing between the sexes. In addition to sincere intention and true determination, this can be achieved through establishing schools, institutes, and universities only for girls. Women have the right to learn just as men, but they must be separated from men.
Abu Sa‘eed Al-Khudri, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported, “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and ‎said, "O Messenger of Allaah! Only men benefit from your‎‏ ‏teachings, so please devote some of your time to us; a day on which we may come ‏to you so that you may ‎teach us about what Allaah The Almighty has taught you." The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said‏:“Gather on such-and-such a day at such-and-such a ‎place."They gathered and he went to them ‎and taught them what Allaah The Almighty had taught him”. ]Al-Bukhaari[
This apparently proves that a special place should be dedicated to the education of women, since the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not tell them to attend with men.
• Dr. Muhammad Ismaa‘eel Al-Muqaddim said in his book ‘Awdat Al-Hijaab:
The example of those who underestimate the matter of prohibited intermixing between men and women under the pretext that they are habituated to adherence to chastity and virtue, is that of a people who put an amount of gunpowder near a lighted fire and then claim that there will not be an explosion because there is a warning written on the gunpowder that it should not burn. This is merely illusion that is removed from reality because it contradicts the nature of things. Those who invented intermixing are now suffering from its catastrophic results and calling to have it cancelled.