Soul Purification, - Abandonment - II

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Abandoning the Disobedient and Heretical Innovators
Abandoning the disobedient and disbelieving innovators is required at all times unless they repent and return to the truth. Whoever reveres an innovator in religion would thereby be contributing to the destruction of the religion. When a man of those who denied the divine decree entered a place where Ibn Seereen, may Allaah have mercy upon him, was sitting and wanted to speak about his deviant beliefs, Ibn Seereen, may Allaah have mercy upon him, blocked his ears with his fingers and said to him, “Either you leave or I leave.”
Ibn Muflih, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “Publicly abandoning whoever commits sins, which are related to words, deeds or beliefs, is permissible.”
Ibn Tameem, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “Abandoning disbelieving innovators, disbelievers, immoral people and those who commit sins publicly, in addition to abstaining from greeting them is a communal obligation, but it is disliked for every single person to do this. Moreover, no one should greet an immoral person who commits sins publicly or an innovator in religion who openly invites to his innovations. On the other hand, the Muslim who does not commit sins publicly should not be abandoned for more than three days. Abandoning such people was made lawful to be a type of treatment rather than a means of destruction; consequently, it should remain within the proper limits so as not to destroy the person who was abandoned.”
The aim of the Sharee‘ah is to maintain people’s interests. Also, there are other factors that must be taken into consideration like how ‘strange’ Islam is at any given time, rampant ignorance, and the necessity of adopting leniency and kindness when calling people to Allaah The Almighty or when refuting any malicious allegation. This is necessary so that those who perished through disbelief would perish upon evidence, and those who lived in faith would live upon evidence. ‘Umar, Abu Ad-Dardaa’, may Allaah be pleased with them, and Ibraaheem An-Nakha‘i, may Allaah have mercy upon him, were of the opinion that one should not abandon his Muslim brother immediately if he committed a sin, because a person may sin sometimes but then return to Allaah The Almighty at other times. This is the best opinion that can accord with our current conditions, especially when we cannot force people to be good, not to mention the amount of rampant ignorance that exists in our time.
Hence, if we find that abandoning someone causes him to be more evil, then it is better to maintain relations with him along with calling him to Allaah The Almighty.
Abandoning the Husband
It is unlawful for a woman who believes in Allaah The Almighty and in the Last Day to abandon her husband or refuse to go to him if he wants to have sexual intercourse with her. In a Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“A woman who abandons her husband’s bed is cursed by the angels of Allaah The Exalted.”This Hadeeth was narrated by Ahmad and Al-Bukhaari, may Allaah have mercy upon them, and the narration of Muslim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, has the wording:“When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses and he ]the husband[ spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.”In another narration, it is mentioned:“… until she returns.”
It is improper for a wife to use her husband’s faults as an excuse to justify her negligence as there is no connection between the two matters. She should discharge her obligations and ask her rights from Allaah The Almighty.
The One who Starts by Greeting the Other is the Better One
If abandoning one’s Muslim brother is forbidden in principle, then three days are enough to rid oneself of any negative feelings. The Sharee‘ah considers that the better of two Muslims who are not on good terms is the one who starts by greeting the other. This meaning was practically interpreted by the righteous, who were keen on reconciling people to each other. Abu Al-Hasan Al-Madaa’ini, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn, the sons of ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, may Allaah be pleased with them, disagreed over something and abandoned each other. Three days later, Al-Hasan, may Allaah be pleased with him, came to his brother Al-Husayn, may Allaah be pleased with him, while the latter was sitting and kissed his head. When Al-Hasan, may Allaah be pleased with him, sat, Al-Husayn, may Allaah be pleased to him, said to him, ‘I did not come to you first because you are more deserving of this merit than me. Therefore, I detested having what you are worthier of.’”
The Harm of Abandoning one’s Fellow Muslims
It is known that abandoning one’s Muslim brothers without a Sharee‘ah-approved reason causes a great deal of harm to the society and the individual. Abandoning Muslims is detestable and incurs the anger of Allaah The Exalted against those who abandon each other. It also delays the forgiveness of Allaah The Almighty and is a trap of the devil through which he induces his followers to drive them to Hell. Mujaahid, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “The good deeds of the uncircumcised person and the one who abandons his Muslim brother unjustly are suspended until the former is circumcised and the latter repents.”
In a Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The doors of Paradise are opened on Mondays and Thursdays. Every slave who does not associate anything with Allaah The Almighty will be granted pardon except the person in whose heart there is rancor against his brother. It would be said: ‘Delay their pardon until they are reconciled.’”
In general, one must abandon sins, disobedience of Allaah The Almighty and everything that might lead to them. Also, and more specifically, he must also beware of abandoning the Quran and other acts of worship and obedience to Allaah The Almighty who Says )what means(:}And the Messenger has said, “O Lord! Surely, my people have taken to themselves this Quran as a thing abandoned.”{]Quran 25:30[

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Soul Purification, - Abandonment - I

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The Muslim society is a harmonious one where love and unity prevail. The Sharee‘ah encourages everything that strengthens the spirit of brotherhood among members of this society and prohibits anything that may negatively affect this spirit. One of the negative morals that has been prohibited by Sharee‘ah is abandonment.
The Meaning of Abandonment
Abandonment means forsaking others, and this may occur in different ways:
- Physically, as mentioned in the Quranic verse where Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}forsake them in bed{]Quran 4:34[
- Morally, by the tongue and heart, as mentioned in the Quranic verse where Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And the Messenger has said, “O Lord! Surely, my people have taken to themselves this Quran as a thing abandoned.”{]Quran 25:30[
- Physically and morally, as meant in the Quranic verse )which means(:}And ]endure[ patiently what they ]the disbelievers[ say, and abandon them with gracious abandonment.{]Quran 73:10[, or as meant in the Quranic verse )what means(:}And uncleanliness abandon.{]Quran 74:5[
Types of Abandonment and Its Islamic Ruling
In principle, abandoning Muslims is prohibited; however, in some cases it is permissible. The ruling of abandonment varies according to the case of the abandoned person.
Abandoning the Wife
Abandoning the wife is permissible in certain cases if she becomes arrogant or is feared to become so. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}But those ]wives[ from whom you fear arrogance - ]first[ advise them; ]then if they persist[, forsake them in bed.{]Quran 4:34[ The wife is only to be abandoned in bed. This is supported by a Hadeeth on the authority of Mu’aawiyah ibn Al-Qushayri, may Allaah be pleased with him, where he said: “I said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, what right can any wife demand of her husband?’ He replied:‘You should feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself. You should not strike her on the face, and do not revile her or abandon her except in bed.’” ]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan Saheeh[
Abandoning the wife in bed means not having sexual intercourse with her and sleeping with one’s back turned to her. According to Islamic scholars, this abandonment should not exceed one month as mentioned by Al-Qurtubi, may Allaah have mercy upon him. Nevertheless, it should be preceded by advising one’s wife and reminding her of Allaah The Almighty. Also, one should clear up any doubts with his wife leniently and gently. Furthermore, he should supplicate for her earnestly repeating the supplication that is mentioned in the verse )what means(:}And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”{]Quran 25:74[
Abandoning One’s Fellow Muslims
Abandoning one’s fellow Muslims is a grave major sin if it lasts for more than three days, and if it is not for a Sharee‘ah-approved reason as this leads to the severing of relations as well as harm and corruption. This is supported by many Hadeeths like that one on the authority of Abu Ayyoob Al-Ansaari, may Allaah be pleased with him, where the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“It is not lawful for a Muslim to abandon his brother for more than three nights ]such that[, when they meet, they turn their backs to each other - and the better of the two is the one who is the first to greet the other.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
In a Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“It is not lawful for a Muslim to abandon his Muslim brother for more than three days; and whoever does so and then dies, will enter Hell.”]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan[
In a Hadeeth on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“It is not right for a Muslim to abandon another Muslim for more than three days. Then if he meets him and gives three salutations, receiving during that time no response, the other bears his sin.”]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan[
In a Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Khiraash As-Sulami, may Allaah be pleased with him, he said that he heard the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, say:“Abandoning one’s brother for a year is like shedding his blood.”]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Hence, it is prohibited for a Muslim to abandon his Muslim brother for more than three days because this leads to social disintegration. However, there are exceptions to this rule. Abandonment is permissible if it would rectify religiously the abandoned person or the one who abandons; otherwise, it is prohibited. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and the honorable Companions abandoned the three who did not join them in Jihaad, for fifty days until revelation descended and affirmed that their repentance had been accepted. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And ]He also forgave[ the three who were left behind ]and regretted their error[ to the point that the earth closed in on them in spite of its vastness and their souls confined them and they were certain that there is no refuge from Allaah The Almighty except in Him. Then He turned to them so they could repent. Indeed, Allaah The Almighty is the Accepting of Repentance, the Merciful.{]Quran 9:118[
Abandoning One’s Kindred
Abandoning one’s kindred is a grave major sin, even if it is for less than three days, as this implies severing ties of kinship. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The tie of kinship is suspended from the Throne, and says, ‘Whoever maintains me, Allaah will maintain relations with him, but whosoever severs me, Allaah will sever relations with him.”Also, Allaah The Almighty commanded us to maintain ties of kinship Saying )what means(:}And fear Allaah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs.{]Quran 4:1[
However, the person who maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who does so because his relatives do so with him. One can maintain his ties of kinship in different ways like giving gifts, visiting, and sending greetings and letters. Moreover, one can maintain ties of kinship with his non-Muslim relatives by giving money and the like, as stated by Imaam Al-Khattaabi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, and others. If one finds any of these ways difficult for him, then he should adopt another way or the ways that he is able to since Allaah The Almighty does not charge a soul except with that which is within its capacity. When some people were about to sever ties of kinship with their non-Muslim relatives because they did not adopt Islam, Allaah The Almighty revealed )what means(:}Not upon you, ]O Muhammad[, is ]responsibility for[ their guidance, but Allaah guides whom He wills. And whatever good you ]believers[ spend is for yourselves, and you do not spend except seeking the countenance of Allaah. And whatever you spend of good - it will be fully repaid to you, and you will not be wronged.{]Quran 2:272[
Moreover, Allaah The Almighty commands us to be dutiful to our parents even if they are disbelievers for He Says )what means(:}But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in ]this[ world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me ]in repentance[. Then to Me will be your return, and I will Inform you about what you used to do.{]Quran 31:15[
Imaam Ath-Thahabi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, considered severing ties of kinship as a grave major sin, regardless of the reason why it is done.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Dought & clear, - He has taken on the responsibility and feels anxious and depressed.

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Firstly, I am a young man, 20 years old, and am studying in the Faculty of Medicine. My father died recently, most of the responsibilities have fallen on my shoulders. I have a brother who is older than me but he is disabled. A few days ago I went through a psychological crisis. I started feeling afraid of sickness and death, and thinking that I would die that day, and other such strange thoughts. I went to a psychiatrist and he said to me: “You are suffering from anxiety and depression.” He gave me some medicine but I am not taking it.
I started to follow the teachings of Islam, praise be to Allaah, and I turned to Allaah and now, praise be to Allaah, I feel much better. I am also reading Qur’aan and praying in the mosque. My question is: in this situation do I need to take medicine or not? Is this from the Shaytaan or is it a nervous disease?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The believer cannot do without his Lord. He is the only One Who can bring benefits or ward off harm. By turning to Allaah you did the right thing.
Death is a reality, and Allaah has decreed it for every soul, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Everyone shall taste death”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:185]
No matter how hard a person tries, he can never ward off that which Allaah has willed and decreed for him, namely death.
But fear should not prevent a person from worshipping and obeying Allaah, rather it should do the opposite. Fear should motivate one to worship and obey Allaah. Fear – as Ibn Qudaamah said – is the whip of Allaah with which He drives His slaves to persist in seeking knowledge and acting upon it, so that they may attain the status of being close to Allaah.
Fear may cause a person to become worried, anxious or ill, which may in turn cause him to despair of the mercy of Allaah; in this case his fear is not something good, it is bad.
It should be noted that a lot of worry and psychological stress is caused by not being content (with the will and decree of Allaah). We may not get what we want, and even if we do get what we want that may not make us feel content as we had hoped; the idea that we had in our minds before getting it was better than the reality.
Even after getting what we want we may still suffer from anxiety and fear of losing that blessing. There is no remedy for this apart from accepting the decree of Allaah, thanking Him for His blessings and patiently bearing the difficulties and calamities that Allaah has decreed for us.
Your situation may require a doctor, but you should note that most people’s diseases are not physical, rather they are psychosomatic.
Dr al-Faarez says: It became clear that for four out of five patients their sickness had no physical basis at all, rather their sickness stemmed from fear, anxiety, resentment and selfishness, and a person’s inability to create harmony between himself and life.
Look at how Ya’qoob (peace be upon him) wept for his son Yoosuf (peace be upon him) and lost his sight. Look at how distress overwhelmed ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) when the people slandered her by telling lies about her, and she kept weeping so much that she said: “I though that grief would tear me apart.” Agreed upon.
Dr Hassaan Shamsi Pasha said:
In the event of anxiety, secretion of a substance called adrenaline increases in the blood, the blood pressure rises, the heart rate increases, and a person feels heart palpitations or may feel as if something is sinking to the bottom of his chest.
He may become paranoid and rush from one doctor to another, wondering what is wrong with his heart, when there is nothing wrong in his body but he still suffers pain in his stomach and has indigestion, or bloating in his abdomen, or frequent urination or headaches.
You have to have faith and fear Allaah; always recite dhikr and wirds that are prescribed in sharee’ah, because this is one of the greatest remedies that will get rid of the thoughts that are going around in your mind and the things that hearts grieve over.
Some of the du’aa’s narrated from the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that deal with such matters include the following:
1 – It was narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-hammi wa’l-hazani wa’l’ajzi wa’l-kasali wa’l-jubni wa’l-bukhli wa dala’ il-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal(O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from worry, grief, incapacity, laziness, cowardice, miserliness, from being heavily indebt and from being overcome by men(.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6008.
2 – It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person who is afflicted by anxiety or sorrow says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka wa ibnu ‘abdika wa ibn ammatika naasiyati bi yadika maadin fiyya hukmuka ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw asta’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’a qalbi wa nooar sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi(O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You with which You have named Yourself, or, or You have taught to any of Your creation, or You have revealed in Your Book, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)’, then Allaah will take away his anxiety and sorrow, and will replace it with joy.”
It was said: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we not learn it?” He said: “Yes, whoever hears it should learn it.”
Narrated by Ahmad, 3704; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani inal-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 199.
3 – It was narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (S) said: “The prayer of Dhu’l-Noon which he said when he was in the belly of the fish: ‘Laa ilaaha illa Anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zaalimeen(none has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allaah), Glorified (and Exalted) be You [above all that (evil) they associate with You]! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers’ [cf al-Anbiya’ 21:87]. No Muslim man calls upon Allaah with these words concerning any matter but Allaah will answer him.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3505; classed as saheeh by al_Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3383.
And Allaah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M