Fathwa, - A wife leaving her house to escape her husband’s abuse

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Question
Aslaam o Allaikum Sheikh, let me describe the situation first. One husband is very abusive, he alway torures his wife physically & mentally )beating wife very severly that even sometimes the wife gets bone fractures( and very often he didn't give his wife anything to eat for days. this is the matter from last 15 years. Now the wife has decided to have KHULAH )divorce( from her abusive husband and she has left her husband's house alongwith her 14 years old son and 11 years old daughter without telling him or his permission. The case has been already filed in the court for divorce against her husband. For the inner satisfaction, the lady is asking the religious view on her action what she did as mentioned above. specially on leaving her husband's house without his permission with the kids with kid's agreement. your kind urgent anser will be highly appriciated. Ma' Salaam.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
If what you mentioned in the question is really true that this husband has beaten his wife severely and that he used to harm her, then he is a transgressor and an unjust and a very sinful person. That is because beating the wife has some Sharee’ah conditions which one must not transgress. Indeed, we have issued Fatwa 84120clarifying these conditions, so please refer to it.
Without doubt, such a mistreatment from a husband to his wife is a clear injustice and an evident transgression. For more benefit on the obligation of having marital relations with one’s wife according to reasonable terms, please refer to Fataawa 88304and 86618.
As regards this wife going out of her husband’s home out of fear of his abuse and as a way of repelling his harm, then it is permissible for her to do so and she is not considered as a disobedient or rebellious wife by doing so, as she went out while having a sound reason. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 91788.
With regard to seeking the permission of the children, then this does not have any effect on the permissibility or prohibition ]of her leaving home without her husband’s permission[.
Hence, since this woman is harmed by staying with her husband, she has the right to ask for divorce even with compensation that she pays to him and this is what is called Khul’ as we clarified in 89039.
However, it is not permissible for a husband whose wife seeks Khul’ from him due to such harm to take compensation from her.
Allaah Knows best.

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Fathwa, - How children deal with domestic violence

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Women site, - Bashfulness -II

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The bashfulness of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with them:‘Uthmaan, may Allaah be pleased with him, was the most bashful after the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam; so much so that he, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said about him:“The most bashful person in my nation is ‘Uthmaan”he, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, also said about him:“Should I not be bashful of the one from whom the angles are bashful?”
‘Uthmaan, may Allaah be pleased with him, was so bashful that he never took off his clothes to take a bath; he would be at his house, behind closed doors, yet he was too bashful to undress himself.
Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:“Abu Moosaa Al-Ash’ari, may Allaah be pleased with him, was another very bashful companion who would wear layers of clothes prior to going to sleep lest he would become uncovered whilst sleeping”The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, advised one of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with him, saying:“Be bashful of Allaah with true bashfulness. He who is truly bashful of Allaah would guard the head and what it contains, the stomach and what it takes in and would remember death and the person’s bones wearing out. He who longs for the )reward( of the Hereafter will abandon the pleasures of this worldly life. He who does this is the one who is truly bashful of Allaah”The head contains the eyes, tongue and ears and thus one who is bashful of Allaah would guard these parts from committing prohibitions. Likewise, being watchful of what one’s stomach consumes is another sign of true bashfulness.
Aspects of praised and dispraised bashfulness:The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said explaining what results from being bashful:“Bashfulness brings nothing but goodness.”Once the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, passed by two people talking and one of them was blaming the other because he was very bashful and telling him that it is not good and reflects weakness to always be bashful, so the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, told him:“Leave him, as bashfulness is a part )reflecting true( belief”.
On the other hand, bashfulness becomes dispraised when a person is too shy to ask about matters in the religion which he is unacquainted with.
‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said:“May Allaah bestow His mercy upon the women of the Ansaar, their bashfulness did not stop them from learning their religion”Sometimes a person may not ask about matters in the religion for a certain reason and requests someone else to ask instead, as ‘Ali, may Allaah be pleased with him, did. He, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:“I was a man who discharged pre-seminal fluids a lot and was too shy to ask the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, about this, so I requested Al-Miqdaad to ask the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, instead. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, informed him that this only required him to perform ablution and that there was no need to perform Ghusl )i.e. ritual bath(. He, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, also told him that one needs to wash his private parts and his testicles and wash it off his clothes.”‘Ali, may Allaah be pleased with him, used to perform a Ghusl every time this happened to him, so much so that the skin of his back cracked and it became extremely difficult for him to continue doing so. He had to find out the ruling on this issue but was too shy to ask the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, himself because he was married to his daughter, and this is when he requested Al-Miqdaad, may Allaah be pleased with him, to do it on his behalf.
Along the same lines, some people become too shy to enjoin good and forbid evil. This is certainly un-Islaamic and unjustifiable. A common statement one hears is: “I was too embarrassed to say anything” This is dispraised weakness and is unacceptable in Islaam.
Committing prohibitions in the name of bashfulness:How does this happen? It is like a man claiming that he was too shy to turn down a woman when she extended her hand to shake his hand, so he could not turn here down! Is this bashfulness or immorality? Didn’t the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, say in this regard:“It is graver for one of you to shake hands with a )marriageable( woman than it would be for him to be struck on his head with a steel rod”.
Being too bashful to say or follow the truth:If someone borrows money from you, then you should not be too shy to record this loan because by recording it, one is following the instruction of the Quran.
Comparing the bashfulness of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, to the bashfulness of people today:We have mentioned above the bashfulness of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, and gave examples from their lives regarding this. The contrast between the two is striking, when one compares the examples of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, with the situation of people nowadays -- how impolite many people are, how some people expose their ‘Awrah )i.e. parts of the body that must be covered in Islaam(. Some women are too open and freely mix with men, talk to them and shake hands with them without any reservations. Some people use vulgar, impolite and indecent words in public gatherings. Another aspect reflecting the lack of bashfulness in our time are the plays in theaters, in which women walk on stage exposing their beauty to men.
In conclusion, even if bashfulness may have disappeared from the public sphere in our era, as Muslims we should strive hard to maintain and cultivate this noble quality.

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