Personalities, - Hazrat Sayedna Bilal Habashi

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Sayyid al-Mu’azzineen (Leader of the Mu’azzins), Imam al-Aashiqeen, The great devotee, faithful companion and Mu'azzin of the beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, Hadrat Sayyiduna Bilal al-Habashi Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu is a famous and exalted Sahabi who accepted Islam in its early days in Makkah al-Mukarramah. When he accepted Islam, the non-believers placed great difficulties upon him which he bore with great forbearance in his youth. His father's name was Rabah and his mother's name was Hamamah.
His birth place is Abyssinia (Ethiopia) and this is why he is known as Habshi (the old name for Abyssinia is Habsh). Born in the late 6th century, the preferred view is that Bilal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu was 43 years old at the time of Hijra but it has been suggested by some that he could have been as old as 53.
He was either a slave of a woman in Makkah who had made Umayyah bin Khalaf her agent in the matters of Hadrat Bilaal or Umayya Ibn Khalaf himself when he accepted Islam. The Kaafirs of Makkah persecuted him severely. When Hadrat Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu came to know about the pain and anguish which he underwent at the hands of the Kuffaar, he bought him and set him free. One of the many emancipated slaves of Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu, Bilal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu was known for his beautiful voice and was given the honour by the Holy Prophet Muhammad SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam of being the first Mu'azzin of Islam. He remained constantly in the company of beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam. He was at the service of the needs of beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam. Muhaddith Hakim and Hafidh Abu Nu'aym also regarded him as one of the Ashaab of al-Suffah.
After he had accepted Islam, he participated with beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam in the battle of Badr and in all other battles. He called the Adhaan and he was the Mu'azzin of Masjid al-Nabawi as long as he remained with beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam. His greatness and excellence is mentioned in numerous books of Ahadith.
VIRTUE
One day at the time of Fajr, beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam asked Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu, 'O Bilaal, Show me one action that you have done after accepting Islam, whose virtue is above all other actions, because I have heard your footsteps in Jannah'. Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu explains that I have not done any action whose virtue is more than the others. But it is true, that during the day or night, whenever I made Wudhu, I made it my duty to read some Nafl Salaah, and from amongst the Salaah I read, I verily read Tahiyyatul Wudhu (Salaat after Wudhu)" when beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam heard this, he said that it was because of this action that he had attained such status.
Hadrat Umar Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu used to mention
أبو بكر سيدنا وأعتق سيدنا
Hadrat Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu is our leader who freed our leader Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala.
In 'Hilyat al-Awliyaa', beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam mentions that he is Sayyid al-Mu’azzineen (leader of the Mu’azzins).
ENDURANCE OF DIFFICULTY ON THE ACCEPTANCE OF ISLAM
Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu was harassed and beaten the day long and during the night. He was tied in chains and lashed. On the next day, he was again made to lie on the hot desert sands which cause even greater injuries to the body of Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu, who was loved by Allah Ta'ala.
Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu used to be beaten by many people. When one would get tired, another would take his place. Sometimes it was Abu Jhal's turn and sometimes Umayyah bin Khalaf and others. Each of them would beat him until they got tired but no mercy was spared for the slave whom they so brutally injured and whose status in Jannah was to surpass that of many Arabs.
In the sweltering heat under the Arabian skies, Hadrat Bilal’s love for Allah shone brighter than the sun itself. So strong was it that he could not conceal it despite the punishment and torture afflicted on him by his cruel master.
There were times when a large boulder would be placed upon his chest as he lay on the scorching sand, his ribs being crushed under the weight. Yet the words ‘Ahad! Ahad! (There is only one Allah!)’ were constantly repeated by Hadrat Bilal, so strong was his faith and love.
His Jewish master would insult him and threaten him to denounce Islam, beat him, whip him and humiliate him on the streets of Makkah, but nothing was able to shake Hadrat Bilal’s heart.
FREEDOM
One day, it so happened that Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu was passing that way and saw Sayyidina Hadrat Bilal crying out, "Ahad! Ahad!", despite the immense torture he was being subjected to. As he watched, Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique’s heart became agitated upon seeing Hadrat Bilal under such persecution, and tears filled his eyes.
He then called Hadrat Bilal towards himself and advised him to utter Allah's name in solitude and not to utter it in the presence of his persecutor, or he would be subjected to further persecution and torture. Hadrat Bilal replied, "O Honoured One! You are the Siddique of Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, and therefore I accept your advice and will act accordingly."
The following day, Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu happened to pass that way, and again he witnessed the same sight.
Hadrat Bilal was once more uttering the cry of "Ahad! Ahad!" while the Jew was torturing him to such an extent that again his body became soaked in blood. Seeing this, Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique’s heart was filled with pain and he advised Hadrat Bilal, "Brother, why do you utter 'Ahad' in the presence of this persecutor? Utter it silently and secretly within yourself".
Hadrat Mawlana Rumi Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu says:
"When Abu Bakr advised him towards silence and secrecy,
Bilal repented again,
But when love overwhelmed, he swallowed the repentance.
It is the message of the troubled heart.
Without You there can be neither peace nor comfort."
Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique, on numerous occasions, gave Hadrat Bilal the same advice but on every occasion when he passed that way, he saw the same scene - the Jew persecuting Bilal who was all the time crying, "Ahad! Ahad!”
Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu finally went to Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam and related the story to him. When Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam heard the story, he was filled with sorrow and tears flowed from his blessed eyes. He asked, "O Siddique! What is the solution to this problem? How can we save Bilal from this calamity?"
Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu replied: "Ya Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, I shall buy Bilal. Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam agreed and said, "Let my share also be therein".
SubhanAllah! How great the fortune of Sayidina Hadrat Bilal, that Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam himself took part in purchasing him.
Hadrat Abu Bakr then approached the Jew while he was again torturing Hadrat Bilal. Hadrat Abu Bakr said to him, "Why are you beating this friend of Allah?" How long will you carry out this practice on this poor person?" Umayyah bin Khalaf retorted that, 'since you have instigated him (by teaching Islam to him) so you free him." Hadrat Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu answered, "Yes, I will free him. I have a black slave who is even stronger than him and who is in your religion. Will you accept this slave in exchange for him?" Umayyah bin Khalaf accepted the offer. Hadrat Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu exchanged the slaves and thus bought Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu and freed him before migration. It is also narrated that Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique paid the ransom and freed Hadrat Bilal. Besides Bilal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu he bought other slaves who were being beaten and harassed for accepting Islam and freed them also.
After this, Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, out of love and joy, embraced Hadrat Bilal and held him to his heart.
Hadrat Mawlana Rumi Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu says:
"Beloved Mustafa embraced Bilal and held him against his chest. The ecstasy Bilal felt! Who can ever imagine that?"
CONQUEST OF MAKKAH
When the Muslims finally conquered the city of Makkah, its people fled to their houses in fear and bolted the doors and windows. They feared that the Muslims would avenge themselves for the wrong done to them years ago.
The Muslims advanced towards the Holy Kabah and then Hadrat Bilal assured the people that they were safe. He announced out loud, "All those who lay down arms are safe. All those in the house of Abu Sufyan are safe. All those behind closed doors are safe."
BROTHERHOOD
After the migration Rasoolullah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam formed brotherhood between the Sahaaba Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhum Ajma’een which meant that two two brothers should be concerned about each other's difficulty and necessity. In this way all of them became Muslim brothers and they shared in the sorrow and grief of each other. Beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam made Hadrat Bilaal and Hadrat Ubaida bin Haarith (Radi Allahu Anhuma) brothers and a few Historians mention that beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam made Hadrat Abu Rawahah Khashami Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu the brother of Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu.
PARTICIPATION IN THE BATTLE OF BADR AND THE KILLING OF UMAYYA BIN KHALAF
A year after beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam and his beloved Sahaaba Radi Allahu Anhum Ajma’een migrated from Makkah Mukarramah to Madinah Munawwarah, the battle of Badr took place. Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu also participated in this battle with the other Sahaaba Radi Allahu Anhum Ajma’een. The leaders of the Mushrikeen of Makkah (who were the enemies of Islam and the Muslims - who forced the Muslims out of Makkah, who also oppressed Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu) were killed in this battle. Specially, Abu Jahl and Umayyah bin Khalaf who severely punished Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu were both killed in this battle.
THE BEGINNING OF ADHAAN AND THE APPOINTMENT OF HADRAT BILAAL RADI ALLAHU TA’ALA ANHU AS MU’AZZIN
In the second year after Hijrah, the announcing of the time of Salaat began and Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu was appointed Mu’azzin and always remained the Mu’azzin of beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam both in his presence and also during travel.
Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu stayed with beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam In Madinah Munawwarah, he was the Mu’azzin and even while travelling, he went with beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, and at the time of Salaah he used to give Adhaan. Very seldom beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam went somewhere and someone other than Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu called the Adhaan. Whenever beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam went to Masjid al-Qubaa, then Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu would give the Adhaan and when hearing him, the people living around the area knew that beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam was in the area.
Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu used to give the Fajr Adhaan from the roof of the house of a lady from the tribe of Banu Najjaar. Her home was joined to the Masjid. From the time of Sehri he used to sit on the roof waiting for the time of Fajr. When it was time to commence the Adhaan then he should stretch his limbs, and make the following Du'a after which he gave the Adhaan.
اللهم إنى أحمدك وأستعينك على قريش أن يقيموا دينك
'Oh Allah I praise you, and I desire that You become aid to the Quraysh to establish Your Deen'
The woman from whose roof he gave the Adhaan said that there was not a day that he did not mention this Du'a.[Sunan Abi Dawud, Vol. 2, Page 198, Hadith 519]
TREASURER OF BELOVED PROPHET SALLALLAHO ALAIHI WA SALLAM
Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu was the Muazzin of beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam and his treasurer. If anyone came to beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam with any necessity then he used to ask Hadrat Bilaal to carry out this task who would then make sure to get the necessary item and fulfill the need on behalf of beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam
Hadrat Bilal mentioned it to Abdullah Al-Hawzaani that if some Muslims came who did not have anything to wear, then Rasoolullah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam should order me to take a loan and purchase a cloth to clothe the needy.
Whilst doing this once Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu accumulated a heap of dates. Beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam asked Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu what is this? Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu answered I have accumulated this for you and your visitors. Beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said, 'Oh Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu, spend it and do not fear it becoming less'
ENDURANCE OF HUNGER
Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu was the special companion of beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam. It is for this reason he also endured difficulties. Beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said that undoubtedly, the fear he had for Allah was greater than anyone else. On one occasion thirty nights and days passed with him and Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu having had only that amount to eat which could be concealed under the armpits (side) of Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu.
COMPANIONSHIP WITH BELOVED PROPHET SALLALLAHO ALAIHI WA SALLAM
Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu was always present in the company of beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam. Hadrat Jaabir Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu mentions that at the time of Eid, he was present with beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam. Beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam started the Salaah without the Adhaan and Iqaamat and thereafter gave the Khutbah. Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu stood up and stood side by side with beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam while beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam stood up resting on him and after praising Allah, beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam delivered a lecture and reminded the people about the commands of Allah and encouraged the people to be obedient to Allah Ta'aala. Thereafter, he took Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu with him and addressed the women and ordered them to fear Allah and advised them and reminded them about the commands of Allah.
At one time Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu presented himself in the company of beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam It was morning and beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam was having meals. Beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam told Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu to join him. Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu mentioned to beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam that he was fasting. Beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam remarked, 'We are eating our sustenance and the sustenance of Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu is preserved in Jannah." Then he told Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu that the bones of a fasting person make Tasbeeh and the Angels request his forgiveness when something is eaten near him."[Mishkat al-Masabih]
HEARTBREAK & IMMENSE GRIEF
After the passing away of Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, Hadrat Bilal was overcome with immense grief. This death had completely shattered his heart and in this state, he decided that he could no longer stay in Madinah Sharif. He then gathered his belongings and left for Syria. He had just left the border of Madinah Sharif, when sleep overcame him. He found a tree to sleep under and took some rest there. In his sleep, Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam appeared in his dream and said, “Bilal, why did you leave me?” Hadrat Bilal immediately woke up and, without hesitation, made the journey back to Madinah Sharif.
When the people of Madinah saw Hadrat Bilal returning through the city gates, they were overwhelmed with joy. Word spread through the streets that Bilal, the Holy Prophet’s Muazzin had returned. As Hadrat Bilal made his way to the Holy Prophet’s Masjid, requests for him to do the Azan were ringing in his ears. People followed him through the streets, pleading for him to deliver the call to prayer once more. The blessed city had been deprived of his beautiful Azan for too long, and the people craved to hear it one last time.
However, since the passing away of Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, Hadrat Bilal’s grief had been so immense that he resolved that he would never do the Azan again, and so he refused the pleas of the people. As he advanced towards the blessed Masjid, he saw the two beloved grandsons of Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, Hadrat Hassan and Hussain. They too requested for him to do the Azan, and when he looked upon their blessed young faces, his love for them overwhelmed his heart. He knew he could never refuse them anything, and they were, after all, the grandsons of the one whose love had penetrated his heart through and through.
Hadrat Bilal then stood up on the Mimbar, assumed his position as the Muazzin and started to read the Azan. His voice, beautiful as it was, rang through the streets of Madinah Sharif, his pain and heartbreak evident in the painful tune. He read to his heart’s content, and in such a manner that there was not a person in the blessed city whose eyes were not wet with tears.
When Hadrat Bilal reached “Ash-hadu anna Muhammadur Rasulallah”, he broke down and could not continue. His pain and the pain of Madinah’s people was unbearable. Memories of the beautiful days when Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam sat amongst them penetrated their hearts with hurt and agony. The emptiness of their lives and their souls without Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam had devastated them and left them broken inside. Even the strongest amongst them who were usually able to suppress the pain could not hold back any longer.
STAY IN SYRIA
Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu then came in the presence of Hadrat Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu and said, 'Oh Khalifah of Rasoolullah, without doubt I have heard from beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam that the best action of a Mu'min is Jihaad in the path of Allah and I have intended now to spend my life in Jihaad till I die." Hadrat Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu said, 'Oh Bilaal! I swear by Allah and my right which is deserving to honored (it is for this reason) that during my lifespan you spend it in Madinah al-Munawwara and give Adhaan. Because I have become old and my time is near (death)." Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu then remained in Madinah Munawwarah.[Asad al-Ghabbah]
After Hadrat Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu, Hadrat Umar Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu became Khalifah, then Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu came to him and said the same thing again. Hadrat Umar Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu gave the same answer which Hadrat Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu had given, but Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu respectfully refused to stay any longer. Hadrat Umar Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu granted permission to him. Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu became a Mujaahid forever and went to Syria. During the Khilaafat of Hadrat Umar Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu when he went to Syria, then Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu gave Adhaan in his presence. The narrator says that on this day, Hadrat Umar Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu thinking of the days of beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam cried to such an extent which we never saw before.
MARRIAGE
While in Syria, Hadrat Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu got married but it is not known whether he had any children or not. The author of Asad al-Ghabbah states that at the time of death, Bilaal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu had no children.
PASSING AWAY OF THE PROPHET’S MU'AZZIN
The great devotee and Muazzin of Rasulallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, the courageous and beloved Abyssinian by the name of Hadrat Bilal Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu passed away in the 20th year after Hijrah in the middle of reading Adhan in Damascus, Syria between the years 638 and 642 (AD) at the age of 60 or 63 and there he is buried near 'Bab as-Sagheer'. When beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam proclaimed Prophethood, he was 30 years old. He spent the remaining 33 years of his life in the assistance of this Deen, persecuted severely for admitting his Islam and despite this, he continued to announce boldly, 'Ahad, the One Allah!'. He participated in the battles and endured both hunger and pain. He was not only a Mu’azzin, but was granted the status of being the leader of the Mu’azzins.
His respected stature during the birth of Islam is a perfect example of the importance of pluralism and racial equality in the foundations of Islam. May Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala be pleased with him forever... Aameen!!

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Women site, - Resolving Marital Conflicts: Strategies and Solutions

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What is the best solution when a married couple faces marital problems and conflicts? Contrary to popular practice, divorce or threatening a spouse with divorce is not the right solution.
The best solution is patience, endurance and realizing that it is natural for differences to arise between married people. It is also necessary for each spouse to bear with his/ her partner and to overlook some of the words and acts that may be displeasing. After all, one does not always know where one’s best interest lies; you may like to do something that turns out to be bad for you. Besides, there are times when you do something that you do not like to do but it turns out to be good for you. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them -- perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah Makes therein much good.{]Quran 4:19[
When the couple’s disagreement worsens, the ties between them start weakening. Then, the wife becomes disobedient, arrogant and negligent of her duties and her husband's rights. She may also deny her husband’s virtues. The remedy for this attitude in Islam is stated explicitly and it does not include divorce. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}But those ]wives[ from whom you fear arrogance -- ]first[ advise them; ]then if they persist[, forsake them in bed; and ]finally[, strike them. But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no means against them.{]Quran 4:34[
When dealing with the wife’s arrogance, first, the husband should advise her, admonish her, and remind of the husband’s rights over her and of the punishment of Allaah The Almighty. All this should be done tactfully and patiently, while adopting the approach of encouraging at times and dissuading at other times.
Forsaking the wife in bed is a punishment for her arrogance and disobedience. It is worthy noting that Allaah The Almighty Says, “forsake them in the bed” not out of it. This means that the husband should not let anyone notice that he is upset with his wife. The purpose of this punishment is to solve the problem and not to humiliate the woman or violate the privacy of their marriage relationship.
If the problem is not solved, stricter measures may be the answer. Some people are not affected by gentle advising and they grow more arrogant when they are treated kindly. When such people are treated strictly, they become calm and quiet.
Every sensible man realizes that if temporary sternness could bring back discipline, and prevent the family from breaking up, it would be better than divorce and separation. This is a positive form of discipline, yet it is not meant to be applied for the sake of revenge or humiliation. It is a means to put matters right and to reform the married couple’s situation.
If the wife fears her husband’s contempt or evasion, she should apply the following verse: Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them -- and settlement is best.{]Quran 4:128[ The solution is by making settlement but not by divorce or separation. Settlement may be giving up some of the financial or personal rights in order to retain the marriage relationship.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And settlement is best.{]Quran 4:128[ Indeed, settlement is better than disagreement, aversion, arrogance and divorce.
This is a quick review and a brief reminder of one of the aspects of the religion of Allaah The Almighty and how to apply its rulings. How far do we apply it? Why do people disregard the role of the two arbitrators in attempting to settle a marital conflict? Is it because they abstain from reforming themselves or is it that they wish to separate families and children?
In most cases, we see ignorance, injustice, lack of consciousness of Allaah The Almighty, desertion of many of His rulings, and tampering with His prescribed punishments.
It was narrated by Ibn Maajah, Ibn Hibbaan and others that theProphet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Why are some of you tampering with the prescribed punishments of Allaah while I am still living among you?”
Last resort for solving conflicts:
When all the possible means of treatment prove ineffective and it becomes impossible to maintain marital ties, as the aims and wisdom of marriage stipulated by Allaah The Almighty are not achieved,Sharee‘ah)Islamic legislation( has made a way out for this problem. However, many Muslims are ignorant of the method ofdivorce legislated by theSharee‘ahlegislated and they continually repeat the words of divorce without considering the limits that are set by Allaah The Almighty and HisSharee‘ah.
Divorce is prohibited when it occurs during the woman’s menstrual period, or during a period of purity in which an incident of intercourse takes place. A three-fold divorce, which is when the husband says that he divorces his wife all three times in one time, is also prohibited. These three kinds of divorce are prohibited and the person who does this bears a sin but the divorce is effected, according to the soundest opinions of scholars.
TheSunnidivorce that Muslims should understand is the divorce for one time that occurs during a period of purity in which no incident of intercourse takes place or divorce during pregnancy. Divorce that takes place during such a period is a remedy, as it takes place after the husband has taken his time to think. While waiting for the time of purity where no intercourse took place, a husband thinks carefully and he may change his mind. His heart may be awakened and perhaps Allaah The Almighty will decree for them a different matter.
The period of ‘Iddah)waiting period( is either counted by the month, the number of times when menstruation took place, or if it is to last until the pregnant divorcee has delivered her baby -- is a chance for family reunion that may return love and affection.
Muslims are often ignorant of the fact that the divorcee should stay in her husband’s home without going out if her divorce was still revocable. Allaah The Almighty Says that these are the wives’ houses, in order to confirm their right to stay in them. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Do not turn them out of their houses,{]Quran 65:1[ Staying at the house of the husband gives him a chance to revoke the divorce and paves the way for arousing the feeling of love and the memories of their mutual life. In this case, the woman would seem far as she is divorced, but she would be close to the husband’s sight.
This ruling aims at calming the storm and encouraging responsible reconsideration of the situation and deliberation of the affairs of the household and the children. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}O Prophet, when you ]Muslims[ divorce women, divorce them for ]the commencement of[ their waiting period and keep count of the waiting period, and fear Allaah, your Lord. Do not turn them out of their ]husbands'[ houses, nor should they ]themselves[ leave ]during that period[ unless they are committing a clear immorality. And those are the limits ]set by[ Allaah. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allaah has certainly wronged himself. You know not; perhaps Allaah will bring about after that a ]different[ matter.{]Quran 65:1[

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Women site, - Tips for a Happy Marriage

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1-Make your wife happy and you will be happy:
You must give to take. This is one of the laws of life, and if you give happiness to your wife, you will receive happiness. You should know that the first one to benefit from your wife’s happiness is you. That is because if you succeed in making her happy, she will spare no effort to make you happy and return the favor. The woman is a delicate and sensitive creature who refuses to take without giving, because she inclines by nature to giving and sacrificing for the sake of those whom she loves.
You can follow these steps to make your wife happy:
·Consult her in your affairs
·Be gentle with her
·Give her orders in a kind manner, without haughtiness and arrogance
·Provide her with enough money to meet her needs and the home appliances she needs.
·Joke and play with her from time to time
·Dedicate part of your time to her and never let your work distract you from entertaining her
·Let her know that you love her and feel protective about her
·Give her gifts
·Take into consideration her physical and psychological tensions and endeavor to solve her problems
·Overlook her simple faults and avoid overburdening her with demands
2-Pay attention toyour personalhygiene:
Personal hygiene is one of the most important things that make both man and woman lead a happy life together. Neglecting this aspect makes each of the spouses repel the other. We have seen many marital disputes and problems that led to divorce because the husband is negligent regarding cleaning his mouth, body or armpits, or due to his insistence on smoking or leaving the bathroom unclean after using it, or other behavior that indicate that the man does not care much for his personal hygiene.
Islam is the religion of cleanliness:
Ibn Al-Jawzi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,
I have noticed that many people neglect their personal cleanliness. Some of them do not clean their teeth after eating with a toothpick; some do not wash their hands thoroughly from the smell of meat and fats after eating; some almost never use the Siwaak )tooth stick(, apply Kohl, remove the armpit hair, and so on. This negligence has evil worldly and religious impacts. As for the religious evils, the believer is commanded to clean himself and take a bath on Fridays to prepare himself before the gathering of Friday Prayer. He is also forbidden from entering the mosque if he had eaten garlic, and the Sharee‘ah commanded us to clean the finger joints, trim the nails, use the Siwaak, shave the pubic hair, and so on.
With regard to the worldly evils, some of those who neglect their personal cleanliness speak to me from a close distance, unaware of the harm they are causing. When they start speaking to me, I can not turn away from them because they wish to confide something to me and I therefore suffer greatly because of the smell of their mouths.
This also may make one’s wife feel disgust; however, she may prefer not to tell her husband, but it ends up in her aversion towards him.
Ibn‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, used to say, “I like to adorn myself for my wife, just as I like her to adorn herself for me.”
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the cleanest of all people and his smell was the best. No one ever smelled an unpleasant smell from him.
The wise people said, “Whoever cleans his clothes, his worries diminish, and whoever maintains a good smell, his mind becomes sounder.”
Moreover, people love the person who preserves his personal cleanliness for his cleanliness and good smell.
Finally, such a man pleases his wife, since women are the counterparts of men and they dislike uncleanliness just as men dislike it. However, a man can show patience with what he dislikes, but the woman may fail to do so.]summarized fromSayd Al-Khaatir[
3-Get rid of worries:
Worry is the bitter enemy of happiness, and whoever lives while being captured with worries can never enjoy happiness.
Some people may fear that their marriage would collapse, but they should know that worry is useless and will not solve the problem. On the contrary, worry worsens the problems and paralyzes the mind. In fact, worry is a problem in itself and we should treat it first before treating the other problems.
Worry that is related to marriage is usually due to three causes:
A-Fear of inability to provide for the family
B-Fear of financial problems
C-Fear of any change in the wife’s conduct in such a way the leads to separation
D-Fear of inability to achieve sexual adjustment or satisfying the wife’s sexual needs
E-Fear of a sudden death that may destroy the family
This kind of worry is needless and it only obsesses the wavering people who rely on the means rather than Allaah The Almighty. One is only required to work and then leave the results to Allaah The Almighty along with absolute satisfaction with the Divine Decree and Judgment. Then, there is no harm in utilizing the available means along with complete reliance on Allaah The Almighty and asking Him to bestow safety and security upon one’s family.
4-Avoid irritability:
Completely avoiding anger is very difficult; however, the wise man should not be irritable, or allow any act or behavior to provoke him. A reasonable man should not surrender to anger in such a way that turns it into one of his characteristics, because this will destroy his happiness and fill his life with misery and sorrow. If anger exceeds the proper limits, it will make one deal with others unjustly and cruelly.
The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The strong man is not the one who is undefeatable in a fight , but the strong man is he who controls himself in a fit of rage”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
The majority of divorce cases take place under the influence of anger. Then, when the man calms down, he regrets what he has done.
However, this divorce may be irrevocable which means that regret will be of no use and the man will lose his beloved wife forever, unless another man marries and then divorces her. There is no doubt that this is very difficult for any man with dignity.

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