Women site, - Magnifying Trivial Problems Demolishes Marital Life

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Magnifying the trivial problems of martial life wears it away and acts like a hammer that demolishes family life within seconds. Mrs. Jameelah Marzooq, a lecturer in instructive courses for brides, says,
Magnifying the trivial problems of matrimonial life and widening the range of problems between the spouses because of the slips of one or both of them enlarges the gap between them. Similarly, excessively blaming the other party for his/her minor slips and frequently speaking about faults in a critical way is a warning that problems between the spouses are going to be out of control. Of course, this may lead to many problems that may affect the martial life passively.
She calls for adopting flexibility in dealing with life’s affairs and avoiding the consequences of stubbornness, especially regarding the matters that are not on the list of priorities in marital life.
She adds,
Magnifying the minor problems of matrimonial life and paying excessive attention to them, usually leads to aggravating disputes between the spouses; rooting the disagreements between them. This also decreases the chances of attaining family stability and deprives the family from enjoying it. A wife who causes problems for no reason creates chances for deepening the spirit of disagreements within her matrimonial life and stirs up storms of disturbance as well as daily quarrels. This may weaken the communication within martial life and even destroy it completely. A husband who confides in his wife and then finds that she turns it into a host of problems, would inevitably avoid speaking to her or discussing anything with her in the future so as to avoid these kind of problems. Thus, the language of dialogue between the spouses diminishes and their bonds disintegrate.
The Way of Serving Chicken on a Plate
Jameelah Al-Marzooq related a story in this regard about a wife that left her husband’s house and stayed in her father’s house for more than two months following a disagreement over how she should serve chicken, saying,
The real examples that may be mentioned in this regard are like the case of a wife who prepared lunch during the second week of her marriage. She put the chicken on the plate of rice in a way that did not appeal to her husband who immediately started making problems, arousing disputes and disagreements over a trivial matter that is of no importance in the context of the martial life.
Toothpaste was About to Cause Divorce
She mentioned another story about toothpaste that was about to cause a divorce between the spouses, saying,
One day, a wife forgot to close the tube of toothpaste after using it, so it dried up by the next morning. This outraged her husband, who started attacking his wife with endless insults and criticism. Furthermore, he described her with the worst attributes and accused her of being careless, impolite, and ill-mannered. Another wife forgot to change the soap bar when it was almost finished, and her husband transformed this minor problem into a major one and heaped accusations and insults upon her.
Jameelah Al-Marzooq warned against exhausting ourselves psychologically and wearing ourselves out over trivial matters calling for disdaining such behavior and putting such problems aside. This is because the spouses are required to take care of and discuss matters that are related to the core of their matrimonial life. For example, they should discuss the life of their children and the way of securing the future of the family as well as the way of achieving the aspirations of the spouses in the best way.
Deliberation before issuing judgments or causing disputes over trivial things should be on top of the list of priorities of the spouses and they should take care of this important issue. Otherwise, this may lead to fights and disputes that could destroy the marital life.
Good Speech and Calm Dialogue are the Best Conditioner
Jameelah Al-Marzooq sees that good speech and calm dialogue are the best remedy for treating the problems before they get worse. Moreover, good speech is a successful solution for quenching the fire of anger before it turns into an outrageous volcano that may engulf the matrimonial life and make its skies clouded with continuous disagreements.
At the end of her speech, she reiterated her warnings against magnifying minor problems warning not to let them turn into bombs that kill compatibility between the spouses. She advised each husband and wife to try to pacify the other party when he or she gets angry or even leaving the partner until he/she calms down instead of meeting anger with anger.

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Women site, - Abuse of Wives: Reality orImagination?

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It is rare that societies are free of evil social phenomena, and this was the case even in the pure ages of the prophets, may Allaah exalt their mention. One such evil phenomenon is marital dispute and domestic problems. For example, husbands may abuse their wives or vice versa, parents may abuse their children or vice versa, children may abuse each other and so forth. While following up this issue in the press lately, I came to notice that there is stress on the issue of abuse of wives, either from male or female writers, or caricaturists, to the extent that readers have begun to think that there is no Muslim house that enjoys a tranquil and stable life. Thus, I wanted to express my own point of view in this regard:
One of the established rules that every Muslim, who loves his society and IslamicUmmah)nation(, should understand is the idea of social security and harmony. Among the prerequisites of these are unity and harmony. In order to achieve this, people should avoid disputes and conflicts so that life
It is true that some Muslim husbands abuse their wives and quarrel with them. However, the question is whether it is something that represents a phenomenon that deserves all this attention. I think that the answer of the sensible and just person would be a definite no, based on the statistical evidence.
Using the western society as a model for our conservative Muslim society is something that should be rejected by sensible and righteous Muslims. This is because the western society is mostly based on immorality and dissension. Here are some statistics that show how women suffer over there. For instance, in
The repetition of these things through caricatures, writings, and reportages indicate that this phenomenon is generalized to all classes of the society. Generalizing in rulings without having proper knowledge is something that our religion forbids. Thus, how about generalizing in something that
Marital problems are a norm set by Allaah The Exalted since He created man, and these problems are a test for the spouses. Many Quranic verses were revealed in this regard and there are whole chapters that examine this issue, such asSooratAt-Talaaq. Are all Muslim groups and individuals unable to accommodate a few of
Those who investigate the issue of wife abuse and marital disputes and problems, whether male or female writers or caricaturists, are one of two categories:
Some may do this out of good intention and in order to warn men against doing this. Those will be rewarded, Allaah willing.
Others may use these disputes as a means for achieving another goal, which is calling women to be rebellious and to deny lawful authority. This campaign that is carried out by so-called women’s liberationists contradicts theSharee‘ah.
7. I say to every Muslim who believes in Allaah The Almighty as his Lord, Islam as his religion, and Muhammad,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, as his prophet, not to worry about the rights of women in the western sense as the IslamicSharee‘ahhas guaranteed all her rights. One only has to know theSharee‘ahand grasp it so that he would find the comprehensive answer. Here is a simple example that shows that Islam gave man responsibility for women. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“I forbid the transgression of the rights of the two weak types: women and orphans.”Had there been an opportunity, I would have mentioned many other verses andHadeeths, but I know that everyone in our Islamic societies is already aware of them.

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Dought & clear, - Who is Allaah?.

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Who is Allaah?
Allaah is the Arabic word for "one God", the same as Eloh in Aramaic. Allaah is not the God of Muslims only. He is God of all creations, because He is their Creator and Sustainer.

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