Women site, - Make-up of a successful wife – I

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Allaah Almighty Says what means: }O Mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person, and from him He created his wife, and from both of them He created many men and women and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual rights, and do not cut the relations of the wombs. Surely, Allaah is ever watching over you.{ ]Quran 4: 1[
The pious wife
Allaah calls on us numerous times in the Quran to be pious. And if we focus on meeting the expectations that Allaah has set for us, we can be assured of success. It is only through His grace that we have the opportunity for happiness in this life. If we allow other factors to discolor the vision Allaah has given us, we will not be able to achieve true success.
Allaah Says what means: }It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter than they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.{ ]Quran 33: 36[
Examples of pious wives
}And Allaah has set forth an example for those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh, when she said: `My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Pharaoh and his work, and save me from the disbelievers. And Mary, the daughter of Imraan who guarded her chastity; and We breathed into ]her garment[ through ]Jibreel[, and she testified to the truth of the Words of her Lord, and His Scriptures, and she was of ]those obedient to Allaah[!{ ]Quran 66: 11-12[
During the battle of Uhud the polytheists came towards Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, in large numbers with the intention of killing him. But, with some of the believers, He stood valiantly against them. Among them was a woman - Naseebah Um Imarah al-Ansaariyah. She stopped giving water to the wounded and started fighting with her sword and shooting arrows in defense of Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam. Her husband and son also attended the battle in defense of him. Naseebah suffered a deep wound and at a critical moment she asked the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam: "Invoke Allaah to allow me and my family to be in your company in Paradise." So the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, supplicated, "O Allaah, let them be in my company in Paradise." Upon hearing this she said, "I do not care what is going to touch me in this life, good or bad." She continued defending the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, until the number of her wounds reached twelve. The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, was reported to have said concerning her, "I did not look to my right or to my left except that I found her defending me."
The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, entered the Masjid and found a rope tied between two columns. So he, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, inquired, "For what reason has this rope been placed here?" He was told that his wife Zaynab had fixed the rope there in order to support herself when she became tired while performing the night Salaah )prayer(. He, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, then said:"Remove it, one of you should only pray as much as is easy for him and when you feel tired you should rest.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
It is also narrated that once `Aa`ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was given a gift of one hundred thousand Darhams. She was fasting when she received the money and she distributed the entire amount to the poor and the needy even though she had no provisions in her house. Shortly after, ]her[ maidservant said to her: "Couldn't you have ]at least[ bought meat for a Durham with which to break your fast?" `Aa`ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, replied: “If I had remembered, I would have done so."
Here, we have presented only a few examples which demonstrate how pious these female companions were. Dear sisters, how can we exemplify piety in our conduct towards our husbands if we are not truly pious? Can a vessel pour forth anything other than what it contains? Pious women fulfill the rights of their husbands almost effortlessly on a consistent basis because they truly fear the consequences of falling short. She is a pious lover of Allaah ever-ready to perform deeds which will bring about His reward and pleasure such as Salah, fasting, giving charity and pleasing her husband. When a woman's Eamaan reaches this level she will say as Naseebah Um Imaarah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said: "I do not care what happens to me in this world." She will not find it difficult to make sacrifices in order to please her husband; Allaah's pleasure will be the only motivation she needs.

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Women site, - Marrying Non-Muslim Women - Problems and Dangers - II

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Permissible, but…!
Dr. Nasr Fareed Waasil, former Mufti of Egypt, says that theSharee‘ahhas permitted marrying foreign women from the People of the Book, meaning, Jewish and Christian women. However, this marriage has to fulfill several conditions, the first of which is that such a woman has to be religiously and morally committed in a way that makes the man feel secure about his family and honor and about his children, and that they will not be subjected to anything that corrupts their religion and upbringing in the future. Moreover, the Muslim man who wants to marry a foreign woman has to take into consideration the woman's origins so he will not find himself harming his country and community unknowingly, especially in this age that is riddled with temptations, conspiracies and plots that aim at afflicting and weakening Islamic countries and spreading spies throughout the Islamic world and recruiting people of weak faith to harm the security and future of their peoples.
Dr. Nasr Fareed Waasil adds: A person who intends to marry a foreign woman has to think carefully and consider cautiously his future and the future of his children. Although theSharee‘ahhas permitted this kind of marriage and laid conditions for it, jurists have differed about it. Those who rejected it were considering the general welfare of the Muslims. Nowadays, we are in dire need of this general outlook because the number of Muslim spinsters has increased and, also, the children's upbringing has become very difficult and requires the constant presence of the mother. Consequently, if this mother is not a Muslim woman, we can never feel secure about their future or the establishment of the Islamic creed in their hearts and souls. All this makes us prefer marrying Muslim women to marrying non-Musilm ones, especially because the latter mostly results in problems of custodianship as a foreign wife may rebel against her life sooner or later, even if she bore it and tried to show her husband her contentment and coexistence with the new society. This will have a disastrous effect on the future of the children who will be lost between two conflicting parents who settle their disputes via courts and lawsuits.
Dr. Nasr Fareed Waasil advises every Muslim man who intends to marry a foreign, non-Muslim woman to think a hundred times before concluding such a marriage, and to especially think about the future of his children. He should take into consideration the necessity of them having a religious upbringing and teaching his children the values, teachings, and principles of Islam as well as the customs and traditions of his conservative community, which undoubtedly differ completely from others.
Dr. ‘Abdus-Saboor Shaaheen, a professor at Cairo University and caller to Islam, says: It is true that Islam does not forbid marriage to women of the People of the Book, but the Muslim must consider his goals behind this marriage. His goal should be the formation of a stable family and having righteous children who are committed to their religion. If this is his purpose for marriage, could it be achieved if he marries a foreign non-Muslim woman? Reality and logic say that this is impossible. In many cases, the Muslim wife fails to bring up religious generations that adhere to their religion because of the scarcity of awareness and the absence of correct religious concepts in many of the children in our time. If this is the case with the Muslim woman, what should we expect of a non-Muslim woman? Undoubtedly, the gap will widen and the loss will be deeper and more harmful. It is not only likely but also expected and in fact a reality that the child resulting from such a marriage will be completely isolated and kept away from his religion because the mother is the first and foremost person who is responsible for the children’s upbringing.
He wonders, sorrowfully: Where are the prophetic principles and directions which the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, ordered us to abide by when we intend to marry or choose a wife, or when we accept to give our daughters in marriage? Glorious Quranic verses stress the fact that a believing woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please us. Also, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"A woman is married for four reasons: her beauty, her money, her noble ancestry and her religiousness. So, be victorious by ]marrying[ the religious woman - otherwise, you will be a loser."The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, also said:“If someone comes to you seeking marriage ]to your daughter[ and you approve of his religiousness and morals, marry him ]to her[. If you do not do so, there will be a Fitnah ]great trial[ on earth and great corruption."These verses andHadeethsare directed to women as well as men to show them that it is necessary to choose the religious spouse and prefer the religious person to the beautiful, wealthy or the powerful. However, the problem is that our choices have deviated from the principles upon which marriage should be based, and this is the reason behind the social and economic problems from which we suffer today. If our religion orders us to choose the religious and the stronger in faith, could this include non-Muslim women?
He adds, “We have to wake up before we find ourselves afflicted with a disaster and find that we have generations of youth who belong to non-Muslim countries and nationalities which may also be conflicting with Islam. There are wicked schemes to recruit our sons as a fifth column and make the new generations feel they belong more and are more faithful to the countries of the foreign mothers. All of this comes as part of the hostile campaign against Islam and Muslims. Should we not wake up before we find ourselves bringing up our enemies at our own hands?”

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Women site, - Marrying Non-Muslim Women - Problems and Dangers - I

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Some scholars of Islam, sociology and education have warned against the high rates of marriage to foreign non-Muslim women in Arab and Islamic countries. They have stated that this phenomenon has dangerous social, educational and religious consequences as it exacerbates the problem of spinsterhood in the Arab countries. It also yields generations of Muslims who have a weak sense of belonging to their religion, country, and language in addition to other cultural factors and social characteristics of the Muslim community. Recent studies and statistics confirmed that the interest of young Muslim men in marrying foreign women is increasing; the studies also revealed many problems that result from such marriages.
Dr. Naadiyah Ridhwaan, head of the Department of Sociology at theSuez CanalUniversity, believes that young Muslim men resort to this kind of marriage because of the disorder in the concepts of values, morals and principles that has occurred in the Arab and Islamic community. Unlike before, marriage is no longer built on the bases and choices that are governed by social customs, traditions and religious values. The opportunity and the desire to immigrate to a foreign country and acquire a foreign nationality are from the paramount factors that drive young men to marry foreign women. This is not the only reason; the negative effects that result from the demand of excessive dowries and the complications which a young man encounters when he intends to marry a young woman from his country and religion represent another reason that makes him marry a foreign woman, who has no list of complications like that of an Arab Muslim woman. This is not only because of her upbringing and customs, but also because of her desire to have a permanent residency permit in a particular country.
Dr. Naadiyah Ridhwaan adds,
Such marriages result in many social problems in addition to numerous familial problems among the family of the groom himself. The degree of understanding and the social relationship that connects the family of the groom with the foreign wife are limited, if they exist in the first place, due to differences in customs and traditions. Then, when they have children, they will certainly acquire their "foreign" mother’s traits, and will thus be strangers to the society of their father and his family. Moreover, the ongoing comparison that the foreign mother or the children themselves draw between the father's society and the mother's original community will create psychological disruption and disturbance in the children; whether in terms of belonging, be it national, social, psychological or otherwise. Things worsen because this rupture remains with them throughout their life to the extent that they do not know to which of the two societies they belong.
Psychological Formation
Dr. Musheerah ‘Abdul-Hameed Al-Yoosufi, professor of Psychological Health in Az-Zaqaazeeq University, agrees with her and adds that among the reasons that make young Muslim men resort to that kind of marriage are their weakness and the absence of their confidence in their civilization and culture due to their ignorance and unawareness of the essence of this great civilization, which lit the darkness of ignorance that was prevailing in the West in the medieval ages. These young men are dazzled by the civilizational and technological progress of the countries of these girls. Added to this is the “freedom”, which they enjoy in their clothing and mentality, which attracts the young men to them, especially in light of the mental and intellectual void, in which they live because of their being far from or obliged to keep away from their religious and civilizational roots.
Dr. Musheerah adds that there is no doubt that the upbringing, the surrounding environment and the social customs and traditions form the individual’s psychology, which is consequently reflected on his actions and behavior. Therefore, if the husband was brought up in an environment or society that is totally different from that of his foreign wife, the consequences and negative effects would appear when the veils and barriers between them are removed through marriage and when the differences in thought and behavior appear. Here, marital disagreements will arise even though each of them may be keen on hiding them to achieve the goal of that marriage, which is based on the personal interest of each of the spouses.
Dr. Musheerah warns of this kind of marriage which creates psychologically disturbed generations that experience a violent conflict between the civilization, customs, and values of the father and those of the mother. Hence, young men who are about to marry foreign non-Muslim women have to be warned against the negative effects of such a marriage, whether on the marital life itself or the children who are the fruit of that marriage. At the same time, we have to qualify those who have already married foreigners and inform them of the religious, social and psychological differences in order to avoid any of the consequences which might be reflected on the society in general and the children who come from this marriage in particular.
A Source of Anxiety
As this marriage may result in certain judicial problems, especially in relation to the issue of guardianship and the wife kidnapping the children and fleeing with them outside the country, it was necessary to seek a legal opinion here: Dr. Anwar Raslaan, Dean of the Faculty of Law at Cairo University, confirms that marrying foreign women is a constitutional right that is guaranteed by the constitution in most Islamic countries, but nearly all of its experiences have proved to be a failure and its victims are the children who become prey to loss and vagrancy. Foreign mothers sometimes flee with the children abroad without prior warning, despite the fact that preventing the wife from traveling is a preventive measure and a right of the husband as long as the child has not reached the age of maturity. However, the husband has to have the logical proof and the decisive documents to persuade the court that the decision of preventing the wife from traveling is in the interests of the children. Also, making a passport for the child or adding him in the passport of his mother cannot be done except with the express approval of the husband.
Dr. Anwar Raslaan adds, “The problems that result from this kind of marriage make us warn people about it as it is surrounded with dangers and problems as well as other issues which render it a source of anxiety, disturbance and dispute in courts instead of being a source of tranquility, affection, and mercy as described by Allaah The Almighty in the verse )what means(:}And of His signs is that He Created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He Placed between you affection and mercy.{]Quran 30:21[”

- PUBLISHED by" NajimudeeN_M-INDIA "

For children, - Learn to control your anger and bad temper as per the teachings of Islam: Do Fingers Grow Back?

A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement,
his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny
paint.
The man ran to his son, knocked him away and hammered the little boy's
hands into a pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he
rushed his son to the hospital.
Upon taking a closer look, the man saw that his little boy had etched
the words, " I LOVE YOU DAD" on the truck.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he
finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he
innocently said, "Daddy, I am sorry about your truck." Then he asked,
"But when are my fingers going to grow back?"
Think about the story the next time you see someone spilled milk at a
dinner table or hear a baby cry. Think first before you lose your
patience and become angry with someone you love. Trucks can be
repaired. Broken bones and hurt feelings often cannot.
Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and
the performance. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make
mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage, anger and bad
temper will haunt us forever. Pause and ponder. Think before you act.
Be patient.
Always remember: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE ANGRY, BUT YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
TO BE CRUEL.
Those who spend (freely) whether in prosperity or in adversity; who
restrain their anger and pardon men; And Allah loves those who do
good. ( Noble Qur'an, 3:134) - - -- - * visit for more detailed
Articles-[a] http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/[/a] ═ ═ (or) [a]
http://aydnajimudeen.wapka.mobi /[/a] - - - * - Publisher - "
NajimudeeN M-India " - on- Monday, DEC 9, 2013 - - - -