Dought & clear, - They were in a haraam relationship then they repented and got married without a wali (guardian); what should they do now?.

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I am resident in France. I married a widow woman who has children. I had a haram relationship with her (zina). Then we repented to Allah and married. An imam attended and 5 witnesses. At that time I did not know that a wali is condition for the marriage to be valid. After our marriage I asked her about her parents’ opinion, she said they did not accept it. Her parents live in Morocco but she is resident in France. But they forgave her and she has a good relationship with them now. They visited us and we visited them. We have two daughters now, please guide me, may Allah reward you! Is our marriage contract valid or not? What shall I do about it?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We ask Allaah to accept your repentance and to forgive you, and to help you to obey Him and worship Him well.
Secondly:
Your marriage contract without the approval of the wife’s guardian is invalid, and you have to renew it in the presence of the guardian. If he cannot attend then he should appoint someone to do the marriage contract on his behalf.
It was narrated that Abu Moosa (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali (guardian).” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1101), Abu Dawood (2085) and Ibn Majaah (1881); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
The majority of scholars said that a marriage done without a guardian is invalid, and they ruled that a ta’zeer punishment should be carried out on the one who does that, following the example of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him). This is the view of al-Shaafa’i. A number of them also suggested that the hadd punishment of stoning should be carried out in such cases and others. End quote.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa(32/21).
He also said:
The Qur’aan indicates this in more than one place, as does the Sunnah in more that one place, and it was the habit of the Sahaabah. Women can only be given in marriage by men, and it is not known that any woman gave herself in marriage. This is what distinguishes between marriage and illicit relationships. Hence ‘Aa’ishah said: No woman should give herself in marriage, for the prostitute is the one who gives herself in marriage. End quote.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa(32/131).
The author of‘Awn al-Ma’bood(6/101) said:
In fact marriage without a guardian is invalid, as is indicated by the hadeeth. End quote.
What you must do now, if you want to set things straight and make your marriage in accordance with sharee’ah, is to do the marriage contract again, in the presence of the wife’s guardian and with his approval.
It should be noted that you must hasten to set this matter straight, because your staying together now is haraam, because the marriage contract that was done between you before was not valid.
In order to expedite matters, you can contact her father by phone and he can say to you: “I give my daughter So and so to you in marriage” and you can say, “I accept,” and that should be done in the presence of two witnesses who know the father’s voice and can hear him.
Thirdly:
With regard to the children, they should be attributed to you because you did the marriage contract without a guardian thinking that it was valid.
And Allaah knows best.

Dought & clear, - What if her brother is her wali and he entrusts the matter of her marriage to her maternal uncle?.

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A girl lives with her grandmother and maternal uncle. She also has a brother who lives in another country. She does not have other relatives and her brother is her wali ‘guardian’ but he entrusted his uncle to be her guardian and to get her married. So a student of knowledge started the marriage contract in presence of witnesses and under the guardianship of her uncle on behalf of her brother. Is this marriage contract valid or not? The contract has taken place already, but she did not start living with him yet. If her brother comes to attend her wedding, should they redo the contract or it is valid already?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The wali may appoint someone else to take care of the marriage of the female relative under his care, whether he is one of her relatives, such as her maternal uncle, or someone else.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said inal-Mughni(7/14): It is permissible to delegate guardianship in the case of marriage, whether the wali is present or absent, because it is narrated that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) delegated Abu Raafi’ with regard to his marriage to Maymoonah, and he delegated ‘Amr ibn ‘Umayyah with regard to his marriage to Umm Habeebah. And because it is a contract of exchange, so it is permissible to delegate it, just as it is permissible to delegate to others in matters of buying and selling. End quote.
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(18/103): The shar’i form of the marriage contract includes the proposal of the wali or his deputy, and the acceptance of the husband or his deputy, and that should be in the presence of two witnesses of good character. End quote.
Based on that, the marriage contract which was done in this case by the maternal uncle acting as the brother’s deputy, is a valid marriage, and it is not essential that the brother be present on the wedding day.
And Allaah knows best.

For children, - An Islamic perspective: Over Talking (02)Islam and Over Talking

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Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "Blessed be the one who avoids over talking and gives his excess wealth in charity to the needy."
03 - Bad Talk
Examples of bad talk are attending the get-together sessions of some women, meetings of those who drink, and talking with the corrupt, the rich, the rulers and the kings. Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "One who says something to make the people laugh has deviated from his position as a human being, and has fallen down like one who falls down from a star, even farther than that!"
Don't use hurtful or insulting words:
A younger woman one day said something that hurt (insult) her best friend. She regretted it immediately, and would have done anything to have taken the words back. But they were said, impulsively, in a moment of thoughtlessness, and as close as she and her friend were, she didn't consider the effects of her words beforehand.
In her effort to undo what she had done, she went to an older, wiser woman in the village. Explaining her situation, and asked for advice. The older, wiser woman listened patiently in an effort to determine just how sincere the younger woman was, how far she was willing to go to correct the situation.
The older, wiser woman said, "There are two things needed to do to make amends. The first of the two is extremely difficult. Tonight, take your best feather pillows, and open a small hole in each one. Then, before the sun rises, you must put a single feather on the doorstep of each house in town. When you are through, come back to me. If you've done the first thing completely, I'll tell you the second."
The younger woman hurried home to prepare for her chore. All night long she laboured alone in the cold. She went from doorstep to doorstep, taking care not to overlook a single house. Her fingers were frozen, the wind was so sharp it caused her eyes to water, but she ran on, through the darkened streets, thankful there was something she could do to put things back the way they once were.
Just as the sun rose, she returned to the older, wiser woman. She was exhausted, but relieved that her efforts would be rewarded. "My pillows are empty. I placed a feather on the doorstep of each home."
Now, said the older, wiser woman, "Go back and refill your pillows. Then everything will be as it was before."
The younger woman was stunned. "You know that's impossible! The wind blew away each feather as fast as I placed them on the doorsteps! You didn't say I had to get them back! If this is the second requirement, then things will never be the same."
"That's true", said the older, wiser woman. "Never forget. Each of your words is like a feather in the wind. Once spoken, no amount of effort, regardless how heartfelt or sincere, can ever return them to your mouth. Choose your words well, and guard them most of all in the presence of those you love, because remember one kind word can warm three winter months."

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