Islamic Articles, - The blessed birth was 12th of Rabi al-Awal Sharif

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Some deviant and ignorant people claim that the exact date of birth of the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) is not known and hence there is little room for the celebration of Eid-e-Milad-un-Nabi (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) on 12th of Rabi' al-Awwal Sharif.
12 Rabi' al-Awwal is not only accepted as Milad Day from the classical and ancient scholars, it is also confirmed by the governments of the whole Islamic world. Almost three (3) dozen Islamic countries celebrate it and have public holidays on 12th of Rabi' al-Awwal Sharif.
Opinion of Renowned Historians for Authentic Date of Mawlid
1. Ibn-e-Ishaq (85-151 H):
Messenger of Allah (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) was born on 12 Rabi' al-Awwal in 'Aam al-Feel.[Ibn Jawzi in al-Wafa, Page 87]
2. Allama Ibn Hisham (213 H):
Messenger of Allah (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) was born on Monday 12 Rabi' al-Awwal in 'Aam al-Feel.[Ibn Hisham in As-Sirat-un-Nabawiya, Vol. 1, Page 158]
3. Imam Ibn Jarir Tabari (224-310 H):
Messenger of Allah (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) was born on Monday 12 Rabi' al-Awwal in 'Aam al-Feel.[Tarikh al-Umam wa al-Muluk, Vol. 2, Page 125]
4. Allama Abu al-Hasan Ali bin Muhammad Al-Mawardi (370-480 H):
Messenger of Allah (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) was born 50 days after the event of Ashab-ul-Feel and after the death of His father on Monday 12 Rabi' al-Awwal.[Ailam-un-Nabuwwa, Page 192]
5. Imam Al-Hafiz Abu-ul-Fatah Al-Undalasi (671-734 H):
Our leader and our Prophet Muhammad (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam), the Messenger of Allah, was born on Monday 12 Rabi' al-Awwal in 'Aam al-Feel.[Aayun al-Asr, Vol. 1, Page 33]
6. Allama Ibn Khaldun (732-808 H):
Messenger of Allah (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) was born on 12 Rabi' al-Awwal in 'Aam al-Feel. It was the 40th year of Emperor Kasra Noshairwan.[Ibn Khaldun in At-Tarikh Vol. 2, Page 394]
7. Muhammad As-Sadiq Ibrahim Arjoon:
From various turaq (chains) it has been established as true that the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) was born on Monday 12 Rabi' al-Awwal in 'Aam al-Feel in the reign of Kisra Noshayrwan.[Muhammad Rasoolullah, Vol. 1, Page 102]
8. Shaykh Abdul-Haq Muhadath Dehlvi (950-1052 H):
Know it well, that over-whelming majority of the experts of sayar and tarikh (i.e. biographers and historians) hold the opinion that the Beloved (i.e. the Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) was born in 'Aam al-Feel … It is well known that the month was of Rabi' al-Awwal and its date was 12. Various scholars have shown their agreement with this (date).[Madarij-un-Nabuwwah, Vol. 2, Page 14]
9. Imam Qustallani (Alaihir RaHma) said:
Rasoolullah (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam) was born on 12th Rabi ul Awwal and People of Makkah follow it, on this same day they visit (your place of birth).. It is famous that you were born on 12th Rabi ul Awwal, the day was of Monday, Ibn Ishaq and others have narrated this too.[Al Muwahib al Laduniya, Vol. 1, Page 88]
Now we will prove from scholars whom even Wahabi/Salafis consider the top most scholar in Tafsir and Tarikh and they not only say 12th is the mainstream opinion but also rely with exact hadith for it:
10. Ibn Kathir writes in his Seerat un-Nabi:
ورواه ابن أبى شيبة في مصنفه عن عفان ، عن سعيد بن ميناء ، عن جابر وابن عباس أنهما قالا : ولد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم عام الفيل يوم الاثنين الثانى عشر من شهر ربيع الاول
Ibn Abi Shaybah in his Musannaf narrates from Affan, Sa’id, Jabir and Ibn Abbas (Ridwanullahi Ta'ala Alaihim Ajma'een) who said: Rasoolullah (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam) was born in the year of elephant on Monday, the 12th Rabi al-Awwal[Seerat un-Nabi, Volume 1, Page No. 199]
Then he said:
وهذا هو المشهور عند الجمهور والله أعلم
This is what is famous amongst Majority and Allah knows the best
11. Nawab Muhammad Sadiq Hasan Khan Bohapali:
The birth (of the Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) was happened in Mecca at the time of Fajar on Monday 12 Rabi' al-Awwal in 'Aam al-Feel. Majority of scholars holds this opinion. Ibn-e-Jawzi has narrated a consensus (of scholars) on it.[Ash-Shumamat al-Anbariya fi Mawlid Khair al-Bariyyah, Page 7]
You can see that the historians / scholars from the first / second century of Hijri, as well as the scholars of later times, had been authenticating it. The list also includes the well known leader of Salafis, i.e. Nawab Sadiq Hasan Bohapalvi.
This Date is Officially Recognized by Islamic World
Milad-un-Nabi (SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam) is celebrated throughout the Islamic world, with the exception of a few countries. Interestingly, most of the Muslim countries and few non-Muslim countries celebrate it on 12th of Rabi' al-Awwal.
Here is a list of few countries who hold an official holiday on 12th of Rabi' al-Awwal (the actual list is longer than this):
Islamic Countries:
* Islamic Republic of Pakistan
* Afghanistan
* Uzbekistan
* Jordan
* United Arab Emirates (U.A.E.)
* Bahrain
* Bangladesh
* Algeria
* Al-Jazair
* Sudan
* Iraq
* Kuwait
* Morocco
* Yemen
* Tunis
* Syria
* Oman
* Lebanon
* Libya
* Egypt
* Moritaniya
* Palestine
* Brunei
* Indonesia
* Malaysia
* Nigeria
* Somalia
* Turkey (not a public holiday, but mosques are illuminated, special foods and treats are prepared, and you can participate, actively or passively, in the celebrations)
Non-Islamic Countries:
* India
* Sri Lanka
* Tanzania
The most authentic date of Milad-un-Nabi (i.e. Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam's birth), as agreed upon by the classical and later scholars and historians, and as officially recognized by Islamic countries, is Monday 12 Rabi' al-Awwal.
Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala and His Beloved Messenger Knows the Best!!
— — —
May we be sacrificed at this Merriment O blessed month of Rabi' al-Awwal!!
Your joys surpass thousands of 'Eids; All in the world are rejoicing, except Shaytan

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Islamic Articles, - Duties of Children towards Deceased Parents

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A question was asked to the Great Mujaddid AlaHadrat Ash-Shah Imam Ahmad Rida Khan al-Qadiri (Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu) regarding the Duties of Children towards deceased Parents... Over which HE stated the following points:
1. The first and foremost duty of the children after the death of the parent is that he should immediately arrange and take part in Ghusl, Salat al-Janaza (Funeral Prayer) and Burial which should be done in accordance with the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, and hope for them to receive the Mercy of Almighty Allah.
2. He should always make Dua and Istighfar for them at all times and never be unconscious about it.
3. He should give out Sadaqah and Khayrat (Charity) and always send the rewards of good deeds (Aa'mal-e-Sawleh) to them in accordance to his personal capacity. When performing Salah and keeping Fast (Roza), do likewise for them. Actually, for any good deed performed, the Sawab should be forwarded to them and all deceased Muslims and this will not affect the benefits one will receive, in any way. On the contrary, the Sawab of such acts will be beneficial to himself, his parents and all the deceased of the Ummah.
4. If the parents left behind any kind of debts or credits it should be paid in full immediately from one's personal wealth, which should be regarded as blessings of this Duniya and Aakhirah. If you cannot afford to pay, assistance should be taken from the family, close friends or charitable Muslims.
5. If he has not performed Hajj, firstly, try to perform his Hajj-e-Badal for him personally, or send someone as a representative to do so. If he has any previous Zakah to be paid, do so immediately. If he has any Qada of Salat or Roza (Fasting) perform the Kaffarah for him. The children should, in all aspects, try their best to execute the duties of their parents which were left undone.
6. Whatever desires and wishes were made by the parent should be carried out even though it may displease you and the Shariah does not compel you to. For example, if he has made a Wasiyat (Wish) to give half of his wealth or belongings to a dear friend, non-inheritor or total outsider, even though in accordance to the Law of the Shariah, one-third of the wealth or belongings cannot be given to anyone without the consent of the heirs, it is best for the heirs to execute the Wasiyat and priority to the wishes and happiness of the deceased.
7. If he has taken an oath, carry it out after his death.If the parents had sworn an oath that their child must not do a certain thing or not meet with a certain person or must not go to a certain place, it must not be discarded after the death, saying :"Well, they are not alive so I can do certain things." Wrong! One should abide by it as he did while they were alive, as long as it does not conflict with the Shariah.
8. Visit their graves every Friday and recite Surah Yaseen at the graveside loudly and pass the Thawab of recitation to them. While travelling, never pass their graves without greeting and performing Fatiha.
9. As long as you live, be kind to their relatives.
10. Maintain friendship and respect for all their relatives.
11. Never, at any time, insult anyone's parents, so that they may not insult yours.
12. The most difficult duty is never to commit any sin and inflict harm to them in their graves. All deeds of the children are taken to their parents in the grave. On seeing the good deeds they are very pleased and their faces glitter with happiness. On the contrary, if they see the bad deeds or sins, they become very sad.
O! Merciful and Most Forgiving Allah! The Almighty and All Powerful! On behalf of your most Beloved Prophet, Mercy of the Universe (SallAllahu Alaihi wa Sallam), protect us from sins and grant us the guidance and courage to always do good. Fill the graves of our elders and deceased with Light and happiness. O Allah! You are the All Powerful, we are the weak. You are the Wealthy and we are the poor. Protect us... Aameen!!

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Women site, - My Child's Mistakes - I

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This article deals with the erroneous parental behavior patterns in reaction to children’s mistakes. The majority of parents react to these mistakes, at the time they are made, with anger and the desire to exact retribution from the child, under the pretext of discipline. This is especially true when the mistake is recurrent, and, more precisely, when the parent has admonished the child not to make that mistake again; here, the catastrophe takes place.
What is the correct way to establish channels of communication between us and our children?
Should we deal with them unreservedly so that they lose respect for us?
Or, should we keep a distance between us and them so that they fear us?
Can you hold a successful dialogue with your child?
Should a child be punished for something he does not regard as a mistake? Or, is his opinion insignificant?
Do parents believe in the necessity and importance of having a quiet dialogue with their child?
Do you utilize your authority as a parent to impose your opinion on your children when you want to end the discussion?
How could you express your feelings of love and affection in the absence of any channel of dialogue and contact between you and your child?
Dear father, Dear mother,
A clear policy of dealing with children is necessary, not only when mistakes are made, but also when the child is rewarded for doing something right. Strong and continuous channels of communication should be opened to provide a safe haven for the children to resort to for consultation and advice when they need it, and for the parents to utilize when there is a need for guidance to change a certain behavior, create a new pattern of behavior, or do a certain job.
Here are some guidelines on how to change or create new patterns of behavior among the youth. However, it is noteworthy to say that children, who, in the past, used to listen to parental commands and hasten to implement them, are no longer the same. Today's child needs an affectionate and delicate method of communication, in order to facilitate understanding and be convinced.
Guidelines for changing patterns of behavior
1- Sitting with him: how, when and where?
2- Kindness and leniency.
3- Make him feel safe and secure.
4- Note that this is a dialogue )between the two of you( and not a set of commands )from you to him(.
5- Listen to him attentively.
6- Give him freedom of choice.
7- Reward for achievement and punishment for negligence
8- Keep the door open: so that he can come approach us )at any time(.
9- Supplication.
10- A compassionate parental touch and a motivating word.
Let us, in this article, address in detail the first four guidelines towards behavioral change and creating new patterns of behavior among our children.
1- Sitting with him: how, when and where?
Do you wish to benefit your child or terrorize him?
The answer to this question contributes to determining the form, time and place of sitting. According to educationalists, there are three forms of sitting:
a- The “from above” session in which you are sitting and the child is standing in front of you, and you are giving instructions. This is the posture of the teacher. The message he receives from this form of communication is the following: "You had better understand, for I have more knowledge than you." This form will not achieve the desired purpose. Rather, the child’s attention will be focused on how to answer you, or he will listen to you without any interest in what you are saying.
b- The “from below” session, in which you are standing while he is sitting. This is the posture of the investigator. The message the adolescent receives from this form of communication is: "Listen )and obey( because I am stronger than you. I can beat you at any moment", especially when the father is turning round the sitting child and pacing about him without stopping. This method, also, is not successful, for the child is braced to receive a strike from any direction, or is disturbed by your non-stop movement.
c- The parallel session, which is the posture of the friend in which you are both either standing or sitting. This gives the child or adolescent a feeling of reassurance, comfort and even love, which causes him to hasten to listen to you attentively, talk to you frankly, and respond powerfully to what is right.
When do you sit with him?
Choose a suitable time in which both of you are not engaged in anything else, and seek to make the duration of the session sufficient for the topic at hand, and do not make it at mealtime or bedtime.
Where do you sit with him?
Choose a familiar place out of sight of other people, and not the same place where the problem occurred. It is preferred to be outside the house, and to change the venue from time to time.
2- Kindness and leniency
It is narrated on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, that she said, "The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: 'Never is kindness found in anything but that it beautifies it, and never is it taken from anything but that it distorts it.'" ]Muslim[ This is indicated by the quiet relaxed tone of voice, facial expressions and patience during the dialogue.
3- Give him a feeling of safety
In order for an adolescent to express himself clearly, truthfully and forcefully, he has to feel secure and not under threat, and that what he is going to say about himself, which may injure him, will not be used against him after that, by putting him to shame in front of other people, or his family and friends. He has to feel that the purpose of that session is nothing other than the desire for reform and guide him towards a good habit.
4- Note that this is a dialogue )between the two of you( and not a set of commands )from you to him(.
The term “dialogue” means exchange of conversation between two parties. Whether it pertains to a problem that we are trying to outlaw, or a good behavior that we seek to implant, some proscriptions in this respect should be observed, including:
a- Not to pick on mistakes.
The adolescent cannot often express himself well with words. He sometimes uses inaccurate words which may be misunderstood. So, be eager to inquire about the intended meaning of ambiguous words, and do not give words different meanings. That is, make your child feel he is secure and not fearful of the consequences of his words.
b- Beware of destroying the dialogue
That is, by using such frustrating words as: "What have you got to say after what you have done?” “This is useless” “You must be dreaming!” “Impossible!” “You are hopeless!" “This does not make sense” “No one in his right mind would say that.”
The parents’ dictionary is filled with many similar expressions which are sufficient to damage any hope for a constructive dialogue.
In the second part of this article, we will address the remainder of the ten points and guidelines to change our children’s behavioral patterns.

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