For children, - Islamic Ethics and Morality: Allegations against a believer (Mo'min)

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What is an allegation? To reveal the bad quality of a believer, which is actually found in him is Gheebat (backbiting). However, to reveal detestable traits of a believer, which are not found in him is called Tohmat (allegation). The sole purpose behind leveling allegations is to defame the believer.
There are two words for backbiting, one is GHEEBAT, and the other is TOHMAT. When you speak about someone, and what you say is TRUE, then this is GHEEBAT. When you speak about someone, and what you say is FALSE, then this is TOHMAT.
The Prophet Mohammed (s.a.w.s.) once said, "O Abu Zar, keep yourself away from backbiting because it is worse than adultery ... After committing adultery, if one repents, Allah forgives him, but the backbiter can not be pardoned unless he has been pardoned by the one about whom he has been backbiting."
Imagine you saw someone you know go into a pub (a place where people go to drink alcohol). If you were to tell the world that this man has been drinking, then that is Tohmat. How do you know he was drinking? He could have broken down, and gone in the pub to use the phone, or ask directions.
In Islam, you should always give the benefit of the doubt to others. Even if someone does do something bad, you should hide it, and not tell the whole world. How would you like it if Allah (SWT) told the whole world the evil that you or I perform? We all commit sins at one time or another. If Allah (SWT) can hide our faults, then you should hide the faults of others.
In Dua e Kumail, we say to Allah (SWT), "O He who covers defects ... " In the Noble Qur'an, Allah (SWT) tells us: "... And do not spy nor let some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the dead flesh of his brother?" (49:12)
This shows us that backbiting is as bad as eating the flesh of your dead brother. This means that once someone you know, i.e., your brother/sister in Islam has done something bad, they have killed their own reputation. By telling others what they have done, you are enjoying and gaining at their loss. It is as if you are eating and feasting on the reputation they have already destroyed.
In the early days of the first few Imams, there were two men. Let us call the fist one Haroon and the second one Khalid. One day Khalid started telling everybody bad things about Haroon. Khalid was spreading lies all around. After a few days Haroon heard about this. The first thing he did was to go home and put all his money, valuable gold and silver in a big bag and then took the bag to Khalid's house.
When Khalid saw Haroon coming he became scared because he thought that Haroon had come to beat him up. Khalid came out of his house and fell on his knees and begged to Haroon, "O Haroon, I am really sorry, I did not mean to tell tales about you, O please do not beat me!"
Haroon said, "I have not come to beat you, I have come to give you this money, and this wealth."
Khalid had the shock of his life. Haroon continued, " Khalid, I have come to thank you, here have this wealth of mine."
Khalid stood up and asked, "Why are you giving me wealth when I have insulted you and spoilt your name among the people?"
Haroon replied. "The Prophet Mohammed (s.a.w.s.)has said that if one person TALKS BEHIND THE BACK of another, the thawaab (reward) of the first person gets transferred to the second." he continued, "So now that you have spoken bad of me behind my back, I am thanking you for giving me all your thawaab. This money is too little for the amount of thawaab that you have given me."
This shows how bad Gheebat and Tohmat are.
Once there was a man who did Tohmat of our Sixth Imam Sadiq (a.s.). Imam Sadiq (a.s.) did no know about it until a few days later when one of his 'friends' came to him and said, "Oh Imam, I have heard terrible news. This person has been going around and saying this about you."
Imam Sadiq (a.s.) became angry at his 'friend'. He said, "Think of the person who did Tohmat towards me as if he shot an arrow at my body. I did not hear him so it is as if the arrow missed me; But by telling me this news, you have picked up the arrow from the ground and have hit me with it."
It is the duty of a good Muslim to stop others from speaking ill of a person, and if that is not possible he should go away from the people who are talking ill.

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Islamic Marriage Articles, - 1. Marriage to a Hindu

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Marriage to a Hindu
Questions:
1.I am a Hindu. Recently near our colony a Hindu boy married a Muslim girl. Later I am told that before the marriage, the Hindu boy was being asked to change his religion from Hinduism to Islam. In this case, why cannot the girl change her religion to marry the boy?
- K. Ravi, Behrampur
2.A Hindu woman married a Muslim man and is following Hinduism. She did not undergo Nikah. They kept Hindu names of their children and did not perform their circumcision. All of them including the husband talk Kannada (a local language) in their home. This man neither married nor is having any relationship with any other women. What is the Islamic law in this case?
- (XXX. Bijapur)
3.A Muslim married a Hindu. Both of them remained in their respective religions and it was known to all the relatives, friends and accquaintance that the Muslim spouse would continue his/her/Muslim identity. Will his/her Namaz-e-Janaza be offered by the Muslims and will he/she be allowed to be buried in the Muslim burial ground?
Under orders from a local Moulvi, the residents of the locality did not offer Namaz-e-Janaza in such a case and did not allow the burial in the Muslim burial ground. Is it right?
If the children of the above couple are free to choose the faith of their liking from any of the two religions, what will happen if they die before maturity?
- C.M. Jadwet, Calcutta
Answers:
1.Islam does not approve of idolatry and assigning attributes of one God to any other person or entity. The above sin will not be forgiven on the Day of Judgement. Although it recommends good peaceful relations with the peace loving non-Muslims, a compromise on faith is not permitted. As there shall be no re-birth in this world and a soul has its eternal abode in either the paradise or hell, how can Islam allow a Muslim to prefer burning in hell-fire as a result of abandoning Islam for the sake of a marriage? Qur’an has warned the Muslims thus.“Believers, fear Allah as your rightly should and do not die except as Muslims.”(Surah Al-Imran 3:102)
2.There is no harm if they speak Kannada. A language has no bearing on religion. Even keeping the local names of the children, provided the meaning of the name is not Mushrikana or Unislamic and not getting them circumcised could be ignored, but the very fact that he is living with a Hindu woman makes him a perpetual and consistent sinner. As for his punishment in Islamic law, it is irrelevant because it cannot be implemented.
3.Living constantly under sin does not make a person murtad (a renegade). Those wishing to offer his/her funeral prayer should not be barred from it or motivated against it. There also is not justification in not letting the body be buried in the Muslim burial ground.
The children who do not attain the age of accountability do not suffer for the misdeeds of their parents. They shall enter Paradise.
Marriage to a Buddhist
Question:Please refer to the Islamic Voice Sept. '94 issue of 'Our dialogue' under the heading, "Can a Muslim marry a Buddhist?" Your reply is in the negative. While recognising marriage of a Jew or a Christian woman with a Muslim man on the ground of being "Ahle Kitab", you have placed a Buddhist in the category of "Mushrikeen", misquoting irrelevant verses of the holy Qur'an 2:221. As per Qur'an there is no nation in the world in which an Apostle/Prophet has not been sent. We understand that no effort has been made in our country to find and recognise a Prophet for the Indian nation. There must be a holy book in Indian language in whatever state it may be and there must be some followers thereof to be treated like Ahle-Kitab. Is it not necessary for Muslims to find out the true status of our Buddhist or Hindu brothers and live accordingly with them peacefully?
- F.M.Khan, Rewa
Answer:It is not necessary for Muslims to marry a Buddhist or a Hindu to live with them peacefully. We are required to live with them peacefully even if we are not allowed a matrimonial relationship with them. The answer you have referred to was taken from Arab News and the verse 2:221 was rightly quoted therein in context of the Buddhist. In the available literature of Buddhism, we do not find the conception of a Creator and Sustainer God. The present day Buddhists go a step further. Instead of maintaining silence on the existence of God, they have started denying God. Nearly all of them are idolaters although Buddha had specifically forbidden making and worshipping his idols. There is no doubt that they will be categorised among Mushrikeen and therefore matrimonial relations with them are forbidden. The Qur'an clearly ordains:"You shall not marry Mushrik women (idolatresses or who ascribe God's attributes to others as ascribe partners of Him) unless they embrace the Faith. A believing slave woman is better than a Mushrik woman although she may please you. Nor shall you wed (your women to Mushrik men unless they embrace Faith. A believing slave is better than a Mushrik, although he may please you. These invite you to Fire but Allah calls you by His will to Paradise and to forgiveness. He makes plain His revelations to mankind so that they may be mindful."(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:221)
In principle, there is some substance in your logic that there may be some followers thereof to be treated like "Ahle-Kitab," but practically there is no Buddhist who can be categorised thus although there is the probability of some Hindus being termed as Ahle-Kitab. It is essential to understand the term Ahle-Kitab to grasp a clear-cut conception of his subject. From Qur'anic narrations and the scholars' discussion, Ahle-Kitab' may precisely be defined as:
"A group of people believing in God and Prophethood and the Books (or Book) of God, who still possess a Book of God (though distorted) and also know and believe in the Prophet through whom that Book was revealed."
Buddhists do not believe in God and Prophethood. They do not believe in Buddha as a Prophet of God and apart from some stray saying ascribed to Buddha they don't even possess the Word of Buddha.
On the other hand Hindus are closer to meeting the criteria than the Buddhists. They believe in God and an overwhelming majority of them believe in a Book (the Vedas) they call the Word of God. Research has been made to try to establish the identity of the Prophet or Prophets sent to the Indian people.
Late Moulana Shams Naved Usmani has done commendable work in this direction. I have been writing in the comparative studies column of Islamic Voice that there are conclusive proofs of a series of Prophets from Adam to Noah visiting India. (For more details, see my Urdu Book 'Agar Ab Bhi No Jage To' or its English translation 'Now or Never'). Besides, the Vedas have a strong case of being the collection of scriptures revealed to these Prophets.
But even that is not enough to categorise Hindus as Ahle-Kitab. There should at least be a small sect, a group of people (not just a few individuals who do not know each other) who must believe in these Prophets as the bearers of Books that they claim to be the Book of God. Only then can that group of people be called Ahle-Kitab.
Marriage to a Jew or Christian
Question 1:The holy Qur'an has absolutely allowed marrying Jewish or Christian women vide 5:5. But IslamicVoice March '96 in reply to a question forbade marrying a Catholic girl if she believed in Trinity. In my view the question whether she believes in one God or not is unreasonable, as there were Christians believing in the Trinity even in the time of the Prophet pbuh. (See Surah Maidah 5:73). The Qur'an has given sanction to believers to marry from the people of the book without any conditions.
- T.K. Yoosuf, Pulikhal, Malappuram
Question 2:Islamic Voice, in answer to a question on "Love marriage" states that a Muslim would be allowed to marry a Christian girl if she is a Unitarian Christian, in other words if she believes in One God. Fair enough. Can you kindly point out today a Unitarian Christian? Can you kindly point out today a Unitarian Christianity mentioned in the Qur'an? Unitarian Christianity is defunct now which is why our learned Ulemas have disapproved of this allowance. Hence your approval of such an alliance is erroneous and against the spirit of Qur'an.
- T.V.A. Abdul Malik, Madurai.
Answer 1:Believers are permitted to marry the girls from the people of the Book vide (Surah Al-Maidah 5:5) but you are greatly mistaken if you think that the permission is unconditional. Some conditions are laid down in the same verse i.e. you must pay Mehar to them and they must be virtuous women and not of loose character. Other conditions are derived from (Surah Baqarah 2:221) which forbids a Muslim to marry a Mushrik. As the Shariat orders are applicable on the apparent, all women who are involved in open Shirk are forbidden to believing men even if they are from Muslim families.
Deriving absolute orders from a verse when there are other verses also touching the subject can at times be very misleading. For example the same verse (5:5) allows the food of the people of the Book. But the permission is not unconditional although no condition is mentioned in the verse. In the case of meat, it should not be of an animal which is not slaughtered properly. The flesh of swine and that on which the name of other than Allah has been invoked is also unlawful although you frequently find these types of meat in the Christian families. Even at the time of the Prophet, Christians ate pork as it was allowed by St. Paul who was also the pioneer of Trinity in Christianity. And that is not all. You are not permitted to consume meat offered by Jews or Christians if you are certain that the Name of God has not been invoked while slaughtering the animal (Sell Surah Al-Anam 6:121).
So you see that the permission to marry a Catholic girl (Ahle-e-Kitab) in 5:5 is not without further conditions just as the permission to eat food of the Christians (in the same verse) is not unconditional. A Muslim's marriage to a Catholic woman is permitted only if she does not practise idolatry and amends her belief of sonship of the Christ to the Prophethood of Jesus.
Answer 2:I have personal friends among Christians (born as well as convert Christians) who denounce Trinity, believe in One God and proclaim Jesus Christ a Prophet of God. There are Unitarian Churches and quite a number of Christians are openly Unitarian. There are also a large number of Christians who are formally attached to protestant Churches and other denominations but believe in One God and the Prophethood of Christ. Not withstanding the above fact, I am not supposed to demonstrate a Unitarian Christian if someone wants to know the conditions of marrying a Christian girl. Simply put, if a Trinitarian Christian girl is converted to Unitarianism, a Muslim is permitted to marry her. No Aalim can dare cancel the allowance given by Allah and His Prophet. Ulema have only recommended (and rightly so) against such marriages as in most of these love marriages, the girl only pretends to be Unitarian for convenience's sake while the boy himself does not know even the basics of Islam. They have gone a step further, again rightly so, and recommended against marrying the Ahle-Kitab' girl, especially a Christian, who is converted to Islam because in most such cases, the conversion in only a pretence, sometimes for the express purpose of converting the boy to Christianity after a while. Ulema's warning is against deception and for those persons who are ignorant of Islamic ethics. They cannot and they have not altered the law. The genuine permission is neither erroneous nor against the spirit of Qur'an. It is for those seeking the permission to decide for themselves if they are only pretending to abide by the Shariat. In that case, they will deceive none but themselves as Allah knows what is in their hearts.
For the present day youth, it is wiser to explain the law with its boundaries and limitations to them instead of concealing the allowance provided by Shariat for the sake of untold considerations. In the Former case they may and they usually do try to be faithful while in latter they tend to altogether ignore the law.

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Islamic Marriage Articles, - Marriage to a Past

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Parents Should Not Reject a Proposal Without Good Reason - and Being a Revert with a Past is Not an Acceptable One
Should a Muslim marry or even consider marriage to a revert to Islam, since he or she would have a past that include premarital sex? Should a married revert divorce a spouse that does not revert?
Many parents become upset if their children wish to marry outside their culture, although Islam allows and even encourages this, as long as both parties are Muslim. For example, parents worry about differences in schools of thought, nationalities, and non-extended family members. Since Muslims tend to gravitate toward others of a similar type, one would imagine that a marriage between, say, a Sufi and a Salafi stands little chance of success.
About a "Past"
When he married, the Prophet (salla Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam) did not seek young virgins, women with no previous sexual experience, or members of his family. Since neither he nor Khadijah were Muslims at the time they married, the question of being Muslim did not arise.
( Zawaj.com Editor's Note: while the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) before the appointment of the Prophethood was not a "Muslim" in the sense we understand it today, he was aHaneef- a follower of the pure way of Ibraheem (alayhis-salaam). He rejected idol worship, and he meditated and prayed deeply, trying to learn and know the manner in which he should worship Allah. In addition, he rejected all the corrupt practices of Arab society at the time, such as fornication, drinking, gambling, etc. So in the broader sense he was definitely a Muslim and a true seeker of truth.)
Muhammad's (pbuh) first choice was a twice-married 40-year-old lady with at least 4 children. Marrying when he was 25, he remained monogamous until her death 25 years later. He never considered taking another wife, although all his friends, uncles, and peers were polygamous.
After Khadijah's death, when he was 50, he took at least 12 more wives. Only 2 were virgins: 'A'isha and Maryam (a Coptic Christian from Egypt).
Only his sixth and seventh wives (Umm Salamah and Zaynab, respectively) were his direct cousins whom he had known since their childhood. Umm Salamah was a widow with three children and a fourth born almost immediately after their marriage, and Zaynab came as a divorcee after a failed marriage to his adopted son Zayd.
Upon Becoming Muslim
Should a person, upon accepting Islam, divorce his or her non-Muslim spouse? Many famous early male Companions adopted Islam long after their wives. For example, 'Umar's wife Zaynab was the sister of 'Uthman bin Maz'un. Both of them were Muslims. Hamzah's wife was Salmah, and 'Abbas' wife was Lubabah (Umm Fadl), daughters of Hind bint Awf by different husbands. In 'Abbas' case, Umm Fadl claimed to be the second woman to revert to Islam, the same day as her close friend Khadijah. Officially, 'Abbas accepted Islam just before the fall of Makkah 20 years later!
The Prophet did not ask them to divorce their non-Muslim husbands. In fact, they gradually entered Islam by being convinced of its truth. Incidentally, not only wives brought their husbands into Islam: Fatimah brought her brother 'Umar, Umm Habibah brought her father Abu Sufyan, and the Prophet's daughter Zaynab brought Abu al-'As. There are many similar cases.
At the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah, Umm Kulthum, daughter of the Prophet's enemy 'Uqbah bin Abu Mu'ayt, sought asylum with the Muslims when she learned that a revelation had said that women seeking the Prophet did not, like male escapees, have to be returned to their families and men. Their marriages could simply be voided.
In Qur'an 60:7-12, verse 10 is cited on the issue of divorcing non-believing spouses:"If you ascertain that they are believers, do not send them back to the unbelievers. They are not lawful for the unbelievers, not are the (unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them."
However, the rest of the section discusses this subject with great tact and gentleness, and rather alters the perspective. Verse 7 states:"It may well be that Allah will grant love between you and those whom you (now) hold as enemies, for Allah has power over all things, and is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who do not (actually) fight you for (your faith) nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them; for Allah loves those who are just. Allah only forbids you with regard to those who fight against you for (your) faith, and drive you out of your homes, and support (others) in driving you out, from turning to them (for friendship and love). It is such as turn to these (in these circumstances) who do wrong."
A revert is a revert, and following the teaching given to Khalid bin Walid (the legendary general who had slaughtered so many Muslims before his reversion), that on entering Islam one's entire past is obliterated. The slate is wiped clean. That day becomes Day One of the rest of your life. So there is no baggage of "the past" for a revert. This is not to say, of course, that reverts have not been affected and influenced by their past, or that they can simply forget it.
And so anxious parents worry about their children marrying such people. Many in the older age group have failed marriages and divorces behind them, with all their traumas, and widows or widowers marry with all of their memories. It is never simple to marry someone with a "past." But what's simple in life? Moreover, is that really worth cutting everything else out for? Take the challenge on the chin, but do it with your eyes open.
The Prophet said that if an honorable person, one with nothing ostensibly wrong about him, sought a girl in marriage, he should not be turned away hurtfully by her guardian. This should be taken alongside the rule that no one should be coerced into marriage. The girl's wishes are final. Parents should not reject a proposal without good reason - and being a revert with a past is not an acceptable one. Allah has already forgiven that past.
Most scholars agree that alcohol was prohibited in the same year as Hudaybiyyah (628 CE). First, Muslims were told they should not come to prayer while intoxicated (4:43). When 'Umar prayed for clearer guidance, the Prophet recieved verses 5:90-91, saying that alcohol was an abomination and Satan's handiwork.
Upon hearing that, all Muslims threw away their alcohol. But some asked: "Can alcohol really be an abomination, for some of the martyrs of Badr and Uhud consumed it?" In response came: "Those who believed and did good may not be blamed for what they consumed (in the past), inasmuch as they feared Allah, believed and did good works. Allah loves the viruous" (5:93). The analogy applies to revert suitors-they should not be blamed for "what they consumed in the past," premarital sex included.
Should a revert spouse divorce or leave the non-revert one? This issue requires great compassion. When the Prophet abandoned Makkah for Madinah, his daughter Zaynab could not bear to leave her non-Muslim husband Abu al-'As, and was not required to do so until years later under other circumstances. The Prophet did not automatically divorce them. This is an important Sunnah, since it involves his own children.
Such a spouse should be considered a potential revert, and the revert should do his or her absolute best to embody Islam's manners, effort, charity, and so on. Do not ram your theology down his or her throat, or as Prophet Jesus ('alayhi al-salaam)(is reported in the Bible- Ed.)to have said: "Don't cast your pearls before swine." The best way is to give the best example, especially of love and compassion. Then, if the non-Muslim becomes a Muslim, what a wonderful reward that will be! If it does not work out, and life with that spouse becomes increasingly difficult, then no doubt divorce would follow on the grounds that one spouse would probably consider the other's behavior unreasonable, leading to the marriage's breakdown. Certainly, give it every chance first-especially if children are involved.

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The fact that Islamic moral values do not yet rule the world must stir all Muslims

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