Islamic Marriage Articles, - Preparing Muslims for Marriage, -

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Marital problems among Muslims in America are of increasing concern.
Issues like divorce and domestic violence are taking their toll on Muslim families throughout America. Imams, Muslim Social Workers, helping professionals and volunteers are concerned about the consequences of these problems on the very foundation of our community, the family.
Even though Muslims in America experience a unique set of circumstances and are diverse in their culture, and road to Islam, the Quran and the Sunnah have the methodology for preventing and resolving the problems that we face.
Rationale
Why discuss Muslim marriages, their associated problems and prevention strategies?
The short answer is that divorce and marital discord are reaching epidemic proportions both in and out the Islamic community. Ibn Umar reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Of all the lawful things, divorce is the most detestable thing in the sight of Allah(Abu Dawud).
The foundation of Islamic society is crumbling. Shahina Siddiqui of the Islamic Social Services Association in a personal interview (1997) indicated that over 60 percent of new marriages end in divorce within the first year.
In the same interview she also stated that one community reported that out nineteen new marriages ten ended in divorce within the first year while another community reported that five out of nine marriages ended in divorce within the first year.
Marriages among Muslims in America are in trouble. Sister Shahina further asserts, "this is symptomatic of a much larger problem. The growing lack of value for elders and respect for their advice is a significant problem. Muslim youth are turning to their non-Muslim peers for advice and validation rather than to their Muslim elders".
Years as a professional social worker have led me to conclude that part of the problem is a lack of Islamic education and spiritual development.
Many Muslim couples enter into marriage each with their own set of baggage and often lack the personal relationship with Allah that will help them to be successful as a married couple.
On the one hand, the American Muslim community has been affected by the "Burger King Syndrome" that plagues North America as a whole: American society’s message is, "you can have it your way". Individuals entering into marriage are bent on getting what they want while neither practicing forbearance and patience, nor committing themselves to one another for the sake of Allah.
On the other hand, many have subconsciously adopted the Christian doctrines of self-sacrifice and "turn the other cheek" at the expense of the emotional and physical health of one or both spouses. This is demonstrated in marriages where all signs of marital harmony have been eliminated and a dysfunctional family unit remains, unaware that this not - - the Islamic way.
Muslims must find a way to stem the tide of the epidemic of divorce and marital discord in order to preserve a healthy future for the Muslim community in America. We must go beyond our current state of denial to recognize that, while Muslims are not immune to marital problems, many of the problems we face can be prevented by learning and implementing the teachings of Islam. No community can survive and fulfill the responsibility of raising healthy children when marriage after marriage totally break down.
The Healthy Muslim Marriage
The Quran says:"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)..."(30:21)
"They (your wives) are as a garment to you, and you are as a garment to them."(2:187)
"He it is Who created you from a single soul, and of the same did He make his spouse, that he might find comfort in her."(7:189).
Khurshid Ahmad writes in his book, Family Life in Islam, "the relationship between husband and wife is a spiritual relationship and sustains and generates love, kindness, mercy, compassion, mutual confidence, self-sacrifice, solace and succor."
In Islam the healthy marriage begins with a strong practice of Islamic tradition and spousal selection based on the Quran and Sunnah.
People choose a spouse for many reasons but piety is considered the best reason. Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger as saying,"A woman is married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, ..."(Muslim).
If a spouse is chosen merely for his or her attractiveness or socioeconomic status, the likelihood is that those attributes will be the sum total of the marriage.
A healthy marriage is based on strong Iman (faith) and strong Taqwa (fear of Allah). Because the couple unites for the sake and love of Allah, they are able to make decisions and resolve problems upon based this commitment.
Fikr (reflection) and Dhikr (remembrance) of Allah are a regular part of the marriage. The couple keeps their obligations to Allah and remembers Him often, even in their most intimate affairs. They reflect on what He has given them and on ways to improve their relationship with Him and thus with each other.
The couple not only strives in the cause of Allah but are also knowledgeable of their own and each other's rights, roles and responsibilities. The spouses honor and ensure that each other’s rights are fulfilled and they work together to develop a strong Islamic personality.
Both have realistic expectations of each other and of the marriage, and they practice good communication skills, engage in mutual consultation, and are calm and even-tempered. Honesty, trustworthiness, humility and a willingness to cooperate and compromise help to build a strong relationship.
Additionally reliance on the Quran and Sunnah for decision-making are essential.
Problems Couples Experience
A comprehensive Islamic social service system that includes prevention education and support, early intervention and treatment is greatly needed by the American Muslim Community.
Given this, it is important to explore some of the problems Muslim couples are experiencing in marriage:
Religious incompatibility
Problems in this realm may occur because the husband is Muslim and the wife is not and does not support an Islamic family life.
It may also mean that the husband and wife are Muslim but one is more observant in the practice of the faith while the other may be described as Muslim but not religious.
The husband may not want the wife to wear Hijab despite her desire to do so. When a disagreement arises, one spouse wants to refer to Quran and Sunnah for the answer while the other ignores these primary sources of guidance to the preference of cultural traditions as the basis for decision-making.
It is essential that Muslims determine the importance of Islam in their lives prior to marriage. Each individual’s level of religiosity will affect decision making, problem solving, daily practices and fulfillment of religious obligations.
Financial problems
These often result when the husband is either unemployed or underemployed or the couple has poor money management and budgeting skills.
When the husband is either unemployed or underemployed the family is likely to experience significant stress. The wife may take a job or the family may obtain Zakat or governmental welfare assistance to make ends meet.
When the wife enters the workforce under these conditions the additional stress of childcare and fulfilling homemaking duties become a concern.
Also the high potential for employment discrimination experienced by Muhajabas (Muslim women who wear the traditional Islamic dress and headscarf) add to the family’s stress. The husband’s self- esteem is severely affected in such circumstances because he is unable to fulfill one of his primary Islamic obligations.
As the couple prepares for marriage the future husband’s current and potential ability to financially support a family has to be discussed.
Additional consideration must be given to the issue of whether or not the wife will work at various points in the marriage and the consequences thereof. Premarital discussions and/or money management training can provide the skills necessary to develop a fiscally responsible home.
Cultural Diversity In Marriage
The Muslim community in the United States includes Muslims from all around the world. Some are immigrants. Others are refugees. Still others are indigenous to North America and have converted to Islam.
On one end of the continuum securing a spouse of the same culture has become more of a priority than piety in a potential mate, blinding parents seeking suitable matches for their children.
On the other end of the continuum, the main goal is simply to marry an American thus losing sight of the importance of piety.
While marriage to someone of the same culture should not be the primary criteria for marriage, cross-cultural marriages seem to be at risk for marital discord. Frequently, the couple finds it very difficult to accept and adjust to each other’s cultural norms and traditions. When Islam is not the primary guide in their lives and each one operates from a cultural base unfamiliar to the other communication problems, parenting problems and emotional and/or physical abuse often arise out of the frustration.
One couple reported to the author that they required eight hours to discuss a matter that takes couples of the same culture an hour to discuss. The couple went on to say that arguments often developed because of cultural misunderstandings, lack of patience and lack of a mutual commitment to place Islam first and foremost in their affairs.
Cross-cultural marriage seems to work best when both spouses commit to make Islam according to Quran and Sunnah a priority. In issues not having to do with worship, both have to be tolerant and willing to compromise.
In the premarital stage these matters must be discussed. The couple has to agree to resolve problems based on Quran and Sunnah. Preparation for marriage should include stringent study of the Quran and the Sunnah, particularly with regard to family life, the development of an Islamically-based family personality and the building of communication skills.
In the early stage of the marriage opportunities for arbitration, mediation or counseling should be available to the couple on an as needed basis.
Unresolved legal issues
These issues, which can and have pulled couples apart, may relate to one spouse’s immigration status or prior incarceration, unsettled financial judgments or familial problems.
Unfortunately, in the zeal to come to the US or to change immigration status, inaccurate or incomplete information may have been provided.
In other cases the immigrant spouse may have become involved with illegal activities which placed him or her at risk of deportation. Although these activities may have occurred in the individual’s early days in America they may play havoc on the marriage.
In one case the entire family was uprooted because of the head of the household was deported. The stress of the ordeal placed the marriage in severe jeopardy.
Acceptance of Islam may have occurred during incarceration. Unfortunately few programs exist that are designed to assist in the transition to life outside the penal institution. Despite an individual’s sincere practice of Islam, parole and probation issues continue to loom on the horizon of life on the outside; said issues often disrupt the couple’s life and their ability to start anew.
It is important to be aware of and discuss unresolved legal issues prior to marriage. When unresolved legal matters are included in the premarital discussions potential spouses and their guardians can identify the risks and prepare for the challenges associated therewith. Each potential spouse can then determine whether or not they are suited for the impending marriage.
Domestic Violence
As difficult as is it is to acknowledge it, Muslim families experience domestic violence.
Some of the factors associated with domestic violence include: a controlling personality or other personality disorder, financial stress, misunderstanding and use of verses of the Quran to justify maltreatment, lack of knowledge of the Sunnah with regards to anger management and treatment of women, poor impulse control, immaturity, mental illness, the effects of racism and oppression against Muslims, ethnic minorities and foreigners and a history of domestic violence in the family of origin.
While there are a variety of causal factors the bottom line is that Islam does not condone the abuse and maltreatment of women. Muslim women forced to leave their home without a means of support in search of safety from an oppressive spouse are legacies the Muslim community can not afford.
In addition to this, domestic violence has been proven to produce a cycle of violence in the next generation. As Muslim children watch their fathers abuse their mothers they internalize that behavior and are likely to repeat it.
One strategy to prevent domestic abuse is to mandate a thorough discussion of the potential spouse’s temperament, problem solving and conflict resolution skills during premarital counseling. Of particular import is an exploration of his or her parents’ relationship and whether domestic violence was present in their home. At a minimum each party has to be asked whether he or she has been raised with domestic abuse at home or whether or not they have experienced domestic abuse in their life.
Differences in parenting style
Lack of parenting skills, significant differences in parenting styles, lack of knowledge of the examples of healthy, effective parenting from the Sunnah, the stress of adjusting to life with a new baby, or as a stepparent can lead to discord in the marriage.
Good marriage preparation affords the couple an opportunity to learn about their obligations as parents based on examples in the Quran and Sunnah.
Further, a discussion to examine expectations of proper care of children, how each potential spouse was reared, methods of discipline, and the general challenges that come with all phases of childhood, will produce strong parents, firmly anchored in the Islamic model of familial relationships.
Intimacy and sexual fulfillment
Problems related to an unsatisfactory or absent physical relationship tend to occur because no one has spoken with the young man or woman about these matters prior to marriage. Often, the prospective couple is unaware about the physical makeup of the human body or is unaware of the Islamic responsibility and right to intimate fulfillment by both parties. Inability to communicate seems to exacerbate the problem unless professional intervention is obtained.
Marriage preparation education will educate potential spouses of their rights and responsibilities with regard to sexual fulfillment. It would also provide an opportunity to learn some basics of the human anatomy as well as the traditions of Prophet Muhammad with regard to marital intimacy. The role of good communication skills in sexual fulfillment would also be a part of premarital education.
Illness
Marriage frequently brings together individuals who have physical and mental health problems. In most cases, these matters are not discussed prior to marriage thereby impeding the couple’s ability to weather a chronic condition like asthma, diabetes, hypertension or a catastrophic event such as injury due to accident or major illness.
Whether a spouse suffers from a physical condition or chronic mental illness, premarital conversation concerning the nature of the disorder, medications used and effective reaction to episodic flare-ups must be engaged in order to prepare the couple for inherent challenges of living with and caring for a sick spouse.
History of marriage preparation programs in mainstream America
Formal marital education was first instituted in the early 1930s when the Merrill-Palmer Institute established a premarital educational program (Rutledge, 1968).
One of the earliest premarital counseling programs, established at the Philadelphia Marriage Council (Mudd, Freeman, and Rose, 1941), was designed to provide education and information about married life to couples contemplating marriage and to help prospective spouses work out interpersonal difficulties they might be encountering.
Historically premarital counseling has been provided in churches by trained pastors and ministers, laypersons or by mental health providers. Clinebell (1984) has argued that in most cases what has been ordinarily described as premarital counseling actually is not counseling in the sense of treatment and addressing problems but rather it is more personalized training or "psycho educational counseling".
The Catholic dioceses requires premarital counseling before a couple may be married by a priest.(Lamanna and Reidmann, 1991) The Superior Court of Los Angeles County, along with courts in many other counties, mandated premarital counseling as a prerequisite for obtaining a marriage license by minors. (Wright, 1981).
The newest approaches to educating for marriage are marital enrichment programs (Stahmann and Salts, 1993). These programs emerged around the early 1960s, and many were connected to religious institutions (e.g., the Roman Catholic Marriage Encounter program, first established in Spain by Father Gabriel Calvo; the marriage enrichment retreat for Quakers led by David and Vera Mace; the United Methodist Church leadership training programs for couples, developed by Leon and Antoinette Smith; see Mace & Mace, 1986).
Several secular programs for marriage enrichment have also been developed, including Otto’s More Joy in Your Marriage (1969), The Minnesota Couples Communication Program (Miller et al., 1975), and Relationship Enhancement (Guerney, 1977).
The core philosophy of marriage enrichment is a "positive growth-oriented, and dynamic view of marriage" (Hof & Miller, 1980). The major goals of marriage enrichment are to increase self- and other awareness to explore and express thoughts and feelings with honesty and empathy and to develop and use skills important in relationships, such as communication, problem solving, and conflict resolution (Hof & Miller, 1980).
While common sense suggests that these kinds of programs prevent marital discord and increase longevity of marriage there does not seem to be enough mainstream research to provide conclusive evidence. More and more research is being conducted about the value of prevention and the role of family life skills education in prevention of family dysfunction. Family experts see these programs as important, especially for adult children of troubled, dysfunctional, or divorced families.
The Handbook of Family Life Education describes three approaches to education for marriage and includes a brief discussion of education for remarriage in consideration of those that have divorced and are widowed.
The three approaches include general marriage preparation programs, premarital counseling programs and enrichment programs. The typical goals of education for marriage are to increase couple and family stability and satisfaction, and to improve the quality of couple and family relationships.
Marriage preparation according to Islamic tradition
According to Islamic tradition, marriage should be entered into for the sake of Allah. Marriage is, therefore, Ibadah(worship).
Allah’s guidance should be sought on all matters, particularly the decision to marry and who to marry. Likewise, when we experience problems we must call on Allah to help us through the trying times.
Allah says in Sura Ghafir,"And your Lord said: Invoke Me (believe in Me alone and ask Me anything) I will respond to your (invocation). Verily, those who scorn My worship (i.e., they do not believe in My Oneness or ask Me), they will surely enter hell in humiliation"(Quran 40:60).
Intrinsic Islamic traditions that facilitate marriage preparation and education and consequently positive marital outcomes include prayer, Dhikr, the requirement of a Wali (guardian) for women who have not been married, the obligation to study the religious practices, the use of arbitration and importance of Nasiha or advice giving.
Marriage preparation, according to Islamic tradition, includes the study of the religious practices and traditions so that the believer has knowledge of Islam in its various facets including marital life.
According to Habib Ahmad (1996) the methodology used by the Sahaba in their acquisition of knowledge included the prioritization of educational objectives.
Al’Ilm al-Shar’i , that is, the knowledge pertaining to Islamic faith, acts of worship, and necessary transactions and daily dealings of a Muslim, must be our first priority in our educational pursuit.
Study of Allah, the articles of faith, prayer and other matters of Fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) are primary. Then other obligatory acts of worship and guidelines for business transactions, family life, community affairs, Dawa (inviting to Islam) with Muslims and non-Muslims and Arabic language should be next.
The Key to the Garden (Al Haddad, 1990) outlines the areas of Islam that Muslims must be taught first. This outline lists conditions of marriage among the first things a Muslim should know after the five pillars and behaviors that lead to major sin.
In an interview in 1997 Sheik Shamudeen, a well known religious leader formerly in the metropolitan Phoenix area, indicated that, as part of his study in Madinah (in Saudi Arabia), he and other young male students attended a class called Haqa Souja (the rights of the wife).
This class covered general as well as intimate issues in marriage. The inclusion of such a class as part of the training of future Imams suggests the importance of marital issues in Islamic study. Training of Dawa workers and community leaders must also include discussion of family and marital issues.
Istikhara
The prayer of Istikhara (decision making), a tradition of Prophet Muhammad, should also be undertaken in the selection of a mate, asking Allah’s guidance in the choice of the mate best to assist one in preserving his or her Iman (faith) in order to prepare for the Ahkirah (Life after death). If Istikhara is performed sincerely asking Allah’s guidance in the choice of a mate the marriage will be established at the outset on the best foundation.
The Holy Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet are rich with wisdom and the best examples of appropriate Islamic behavior in family life. It is important that those seeking marriage study the examples put forth by Allah and His Messenger in choosing a mate as well as resolving marital problems.
The Wali
The requirement of a Wali or Wakkil (guardian or agent) for women who have not been married and the tradition of family involvement in arranging the marriage are also important aspects of preparation for marriage so that those with good sense and wisdom about the potential spouse’s personality, strengths and weaknesses will assist them in making the best selection of a mate and will adequately inspect the references of the future mate.
The habit that has been developing of choosing a mate without the involvement of family or community elders and without a Wali seems to be contributing to many of the marital problems in our community.
Marriage as a contract
Although marriage is an institution Divinely-ordained by Allah, each marriage is a contract between the spouses. Marriage is a social contract, a noble contract and a sacred contract (Khurshid Ahmad, 1974).
The physical document usually developed as part of the marriage process serves as a tool in preparing the couple for marriage. This provides an opportunity to give consideration to issues or concerns that may need discussion and agreement prior to marriage. As marriage in Islam is largely a contract between the couple before Allah this phase provides an opportunity to discuss the terms of the contract and to remind the parties of the obligation they have before Allah to maintain their contract and its terms.
Arbitration
Arbitration is another method at our disposal. If used as an intervention strategy it provides an opportunity to give the couple guidance as well as facilitate problem-solving and a reconciliation between them.
The Holy Quran says:"And if you fear a breach between them twain (i.e. husband and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever knower, Aware"(4:35).
Allah says,"Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good admonition, and have disputations with them in the best manner; surely your Lord best knows who goes astray from His path, and He knows best those who follow the right way"(Quran 16:125).
The Islamic responsibility to offer Nasiha, that is, giving advice for commanding the right and forbidding the wrong, indicates the importance of providing good Islamic guidance to those who are straying from the teaching.
In this tradition of Nasiha is opportunity for individuals before marriage and couples after marriage to obtain good advice from family, community elders, Imams or Muslim counselors and social workers regarding ways to prevent and intervene early in potential marital problems.
It is clear that inherent in the teachings and traditions of Islam are many opportunities to prevent and address marital problems.
Summary
Just as prevention has taken some time to become valued and recognized as an essential part of the service continuum, so too will marriage preparation education as prevention strategy take its time.
Most couples spend more time preparing for the wedding than they do preparing for the marriage. Premarital programs focus on preparation for the marriage and for a long and harmonious family life in service to Allah.
The naiveté and innocence of most young couples make it difficult for them to even imagine that they may experience challenges in their marriage. The reality is that marriage comes with some difficulties and some trials, so it is important that the young couple, their families and the community recognize the importance of comprehensive marriage preparation.
Allah knows when the time will be right and marriage preparation will catch on. As for now it seems to be a little bit ahead of its time and perhaps part of the wave of the future. Time will tell.
However, the primary goal of developing and implementing a marriage preparation program that results in stronger Muslim families who will, in turn, strengthen and renew the foundation of Islamic society through the 21st century should be of paramount concern.

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General Articles, - A Muslim is Passionately Devoted, Not to Possessions and Wealth, But to Allah

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Why is the devotion to wealth and property of people who do not live by the moral values of the Qur’an in fact great heedlessness that believers scrupulously avoid?
How do believers use their wealth and possessions on Allah’s path?
What secret does our Lord reveal in the Qur’an for believers who spend all their wealth and assets on Allah’s path?
People who do not live by the moral values of the Qur’an suffer various pains; these people even make the desire to “possess wealth and property” their greatest aim in life. Allah describes such people as “trying to outdo one another in wealth” in the Qur’an (Surat al-Hadid, 20). But this desire is literally a delusion because it is Allah Who owns everything in the world. People deceive themselves when they imagine they “own possessions.” They did not personally create the things they imagine they possess, and they have no power whatsoever to maintain them. Neither can they prevent them ceasing to exist. Moreover, there is no question of them “owning” anything; because they themselves are under the control of Allah, “the king of Mankind” (Surat an-Nas, 2). In the Qur’an it is revealed that all objects and entities belong to Allah, our Creator:
“Everything in the heavens and everything on the earth and everything in between them and everything under the ground belongs to Him.” (Surah Ta Ha, 6)
Believers, who have faith in Allah and attach no undue importance to the transitory baubles of this world, who know that all things come from Allah alone and who therefore spend what they have on His path, may hope for Almighty Allah’s mercy and paradise. Since they prefer the life of the hereafter, which Allah says will last for all eternity, over the life of this world, it is actually they who are the wealthy ones.
Believers Fervently Spend Their Assets on Allah’s Path
As revealed in the verse “[There are men who are] not distracted by trade or commerce from the remembrance of Allah and the establishment of prayer and the payment of alms; fearing a day when all hearts and eyes will be in turmoil –“ (Surat an-Nur, 37) , one of the things that people today most give themselves over to is making money and possessing goods and property. Yet in that verse, Allah reveals that believers must be filled with passion for Him alone, and that their hearts can only be contented by repeating His name, and that they fear losing His approval by behaving in any other way. Believers have a strong desire to give their possessions to others in need, for the purpose of gaining the approval of Allah, to whom they are so passionately devoted. Another verse reveals how all wealth belongs to Allah alone:
“Spend in the Way of Allah. Do not cast yourselves into destruction. And do good: Allah loves good-doers.” (Surat al-Baqara, 195)
Someone who thinks by the light of his own criteria thinks that he will become wealthier by not sharing his possessions with anyone and hiding and hoarding them, and that this is the only way he can guarantee his own future. He believes that anything he gives away – even if he has no need of it – will make him poorer, and that anything he loses now will endanger his future comfort. But things are not at all as he imagines. Allah reveals in the Qur’an, as a miracle, that a person who spends on His path and who gives alms will acquire greater possessions and abundance.
But someone who analyzes events only by external criteria may easily be deceived by this deception of satan’s. For example, he may be about to give his shirt to someone in need when satan whispers that if he does so, he will have to go without it, that he may need it one day, and that it would be better to hold onto it. And indeed, it would appear on the surface that he would be deprived of a shirt, but if he forgets that Allah bestows many times over on whom He wishes, on who has much purity, then he has fallen into heedlessness. Indeed, Allah tells us in one verse that:
“The metaphor of those who spend their wealth in the Way of Allah is that of a grain which produces seven ears; in every ear there are a hundred grains.” (Surat al-Baqara, 261)
The example in the verse is a secret revealed by Almighty Allah to believers in the Qur’an. For that reason, believers spend solely in order to win Allah’s good pleasure, mercy, paradise and abundance. So long as they expend their goods and possessions on Allah’s path and are careful about what is lawful and unlawful, Almighty Allah will increase their wealth, smooth their way and create many more opportunities for them to spend on His path. Every believer experiences this secret in his own life, by having no fears for the future, fearing Allah and keeping to His bounds. In this way, he receives the reward for spending on Allah’s path, and also further abundance.
Therefore, someone who turns a deaf ear to the deceptions of satan’s and gives to those in need is actually behaving in the best way for himself. He receives the reward for spending on Allah’s path, and also further abundance.
On the other hand, the believer’s aim in giving is not to obtain more for himself, because what counts is the pure intention behind that giving. Therefore, it is the fact that this obligation is performed with a love of Allah, with sincerity , expecting no reward and with pure intentions that validates it in the Sight of Allah. Another example Allah gives in the Qur’an on this subject is:
" The metaphor of those who spend their wealth, desiring the pleasure of Allah and firmness for themselves, is that of a garden on a hillside. When heavy rain falls on it, it doubles its produce; and if heavy rain does not fall, there is dew. Allah sees what you do. (Surat al-Baqara, 265)
Believers Regard Assets As a Means by Which to Give Thanks and Draw Closer to Allah
A believer’s interest in having possessions stems from his regarding this blessing as an instrument for giving thanks to and drawing closer to Allah. This is a natural state of mind stemming from a passionate love of Allah and is acquired through fervent faith, reason, depth, altruism and lofty moral virtues. The Qur’an cites this example of this superior morality possessed by believers:
“We gave David Solomon. What an excellent servant! He truly turned to his Lord.
When swift horses, champing at the bit, were displayed before him in the afternoon,
he said, ‘I have put the love of good things above the remembrance of my Lord until the sun disappeared behind its veil.
Return them to me!’ And he set about slashing through their shanks and necks.” (Surah Sad, 30-33)
As can be seen from these verses, it is love of Allah and the intention of remembering Him that lie at the root of believers’ love of possessions. As in the example of the Prophet Solomon (pbuh), only believers who love Allah with a passion can understand the deep joy that His servants who regard possessions as simply a means of giving thanks to Allah for His blessings, experience from fulfilling this obligation.
Why Does Accumulating Possessions Benefit One Nothing?
As manifested in the name, Ganiy, Almighty Allah is He Who needs nothing. It is therefore a grave error to be parsimonious and accumulate possessions out of a fear of the future inspired by satan. As is said in the verse "Every self will taste death…" (Surat al’Ankabut, 57) Allah says, everyone must one day die and be unable to take anything with them, not even their own bodies. It is therefore of no use to accumulate and hoard possessions in order to satisfy earthly greed. On the Day of Reckoning, everyone will have to give account alone, in the Sight of Allah. Everyone will be asked about his faith, and wealth and possessions in this world will be of no use to him at all. This fact is revealed as follows in another verse from the Qur’an:
“As for those who do not believe, their wealth and children will not help them against Allah in any way. They are the Companions of the Fire, remaining in it timelessly, for ever.” (Surah Al-’Imran, 116)
Mr. Adnan Oktar describes how everything belongs to Allah:
Muslims are humble. How? They know that Allah creates all things and that everything belongs to Allah. They know that Allah created their speech and their bodies and the images they see. They know that nothing belongs to them. And as a result? They know they are nothing. And what happens to someone who knows he is nothing? He is humble. Since I describe the essence of this, anyone who fully understands it will inevitably be humble. If he knows he is nothing and that all power lies with Allah, if he knows that Allah created his image, his speech, his feelings and everything, and if he knows that He created these infinitely long ago, and that he will be preserved by Allah for all time, then he will know his own helplessness. We say “SubhanAllah” to Almighty Allah. “O Lord, you are unfettered by any flaw,” we say. But what about us? We have all flaws and defects and deficiencies on top of us. We are helpless and nothing. Allah is the one absolute being, and we are nothing, insha’Allah. (10 September 2011, A9 TV)
There Is No Accumulating Possessions in the Qur’an
“Economizing” is permissible in Islam, but not “accumulating possessions.” Believers trust only in Allah, not in goods to be accumulated. And Allah increases their wealth in return for that trust in Him. He gives them much more than what they expend (on His path). But they expend that, too, and so Allah further multiplies His blessings on them. The abundance that comes from this expenditure is revealed thusly in another verse:
“The metaphor of those who spend their wealth in the Way of Allah is that of a grain which produces seven ears; in every ear there are a hundred grains.” (Surat al-Baqara, 261)
But the position of those who have goods and do not expend them on good causes is revealed as follows:
“... who has amassed wealth and hoarded it!
He thinks his wealth will make him live for ever.
No indeed! He will be flung into the Shatterer.
And what will convey to you what the Shatterer is?
The kindled Fire of Allah.” (Surat al-Humazah, 2-6)

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General Articles, - Our Prophet’s (Saas) Modernity and Cleanliness, an Example to All Muslims

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The life of our Prophet (saas) is the finest model for Muslims of how to live by the moral values of the Qur’an. Our Prophet (saas) advised believers to avoid all behavior that is incompatible with the moral values of the Qur’an, and advised them to be clean, in mind and body, and set an example for them on this.
What is our Prophet’s (saas) conception of cleanliness that represents a model for believers?
How did our Prophet (saas) dress and wear his hair?
What does Mr. Adnan Oktar say about our Prophet’s (saas) modernity and cleanliness, a model for all Muslims?
The grooming of the Prophet’s (saas) hair and beard
The Prophet (saas) attached the greatest importance to cleanliness, and therefore, to his hair and beard, too. It is reported in some sources that he always carried with him a comb, mirror, miswak (a small natural toothbrush), tooth-pick, scissors and a kuhl bottle. (Islam and Christianity, the Superior Morality and Habits of Hadrat Muhammad; www.hizmetbooks.org/I slam-andChristianity /10.htm)
The Prophet (saas) advised his companions to do the same, and said: "He who has hair should honor it." (Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 33, Number 4151)
The Prophet (saas) set an example for the believers with the importance he attached to his appearance and cleanliness. One account describes the Prophet’s (saas) attitude to such matters:
"The Prophet (saas) once intended to go to his companions and so he put on his turban and dressed his hair…He said: 'Yes, Allah loves the actions of His servant who refines his body in order to meet his friends and brothers'." (Imam Ghazzali's Ihya Ulum-Id-Din (The Book of Religious Learnings), Islamic Book Service, New Delhi, 2001, Volume III, p.268)
Ummu Hani (pbuh), daughter of Abu Talib, relates:
"Rasulullah honored our home when he came to Mecca. At that time his blessed head was plaited in four strands." (Et-Tirmidhi Imam Abu İ'sa Muhammed, Şemail-i Şerife, Vol. 1, Hilal Press, Ankara, 1976, p. 51)
As revealed in the verse, "… Allah loves those who turn back from wrongdoing and He loves those who purify themselves " (Surat al-Baqara, 222) cleanliness is a form of behavior much beloved of our Almighty Lord and compatible with believers’ creation. Cleanliness, a behavior regarded as most superior by Allah, also bestows very great delight and ease on believers. Sincere believers, who feel great determination and effort when it comes to implementing Allah’s commands at every moment of their lives, also display the same punctiliousness with regard to cleanliness.
The Prophet’s (saas) manner of dress
His companions handed down a great many details about the Prophet’s (saas) manner of dress. In addition to these, the Prophet’s (saas) advice to the believers about how they should dress reveals the importance he attached to this subject. One hadith reports him as saying:
The Prophet (saas) said: "Allah is beautiful and loves beauty. Putting on beautiful clothes does not mean putting on pride. Pride means denying the truth and looking down on other people." (Sahih Muslim Hadith)
Hazrat Hasan (pbuh), the grandson of our Prophet (saas), said this about his opinions on dress:
"Our Prophet (saas) used to instruct us to dress as well as we could and to use the most fragrant perfumes we could find." (Bukhari, et-Tarih'ul-Kebir, I, 382, no:1222)
Some of the information that was conveyed through the inner circle of the Prophet (saas) about his clothing are below:
Ibnu Abbas (pbuh) relates:
"I saw the finest possible clothing on Rasulullah (saas)." (Abu Davud., Libas 8, (4037); Kütüb-i Sitte, Translation and Commentary, Prof. Dr. İbrahim Canan, Vol. 15, Akçağ Press, Ankara, p. 69)
Umm Salama (ra) reports that:
"The Holy Prophet (saas) liked the kurta (long shirt) most." (Tirmidhi, Shamail- e-Tirmizi, Kitab Bhavan Publication, New Delhi, 1997, p.47)
Al-Bara' ibn 'Azib (ra) states:
"I have never seen someone with long hair and red clothing look more handsome than Rasullullah (saas). His hair reached his shoulders." (Shamaa-il Tirmidhi, Islamic Book Service Publications, New Delhi, 2000, p. 11)
Another report comes from Fazl ibn Abbas (ra):
"The Holy Prophet (saas) said: 'Adopt white clothes; it is the best attire.'" ( Tirmidhi, Shamail-e-Tirmizi, Kitab Bhavan Publication, New Delhi, 1997, p.55)
The Prophet’s (saas) outdoor clothes
Ubayd bin Khaalid (ra) reports that:
"I was once going to Madina. I heard a person from behind me say: 'Wear your lungi (loose dress) higher because it avoids physical and spiritual impurities.' (The lungi will remain cleaner and will not become dirty because of being dragged on the ground.) When I turned to see who was talking I saw that it was Rasulullah (saas)." (Shamaa-il Tirmidhi, Islamic Book Service Publications, New Delhi, 2000, p. 115)
The cleanliness of their bodies, clothes, homes and the food they eat is as much a distinguishing feature of Muslims as the cleanliness of their thoughts and hearts. Muslims’ hair, hands, face, in short their whole bodies, are always spotless. Their clothes are always clean, smart and well-maintained. The places they live or work in are always neat, clean, pleasant-smelling, airy and relaxing, as befits Muslims. There is no doubt that the finest example of this is our Prophet (saas), sent by our Lord as the last prophet for all mankind. Allah addresses our prophet (saas) as follows in the Qur’an:
"You who are enveloped in your cloak!
Arise and warn.
Magnify your Lord.
Purify your clothes.
Shun all filth.” (Surat Al-Muddaththir, 1-5)
The Prophet’s (saas) pleasing scent
The Prophet (saas) attached great importance to cleanliness. He always smelled very fresh, clean and pleasant, and recommended that Muslims do the same. Accounts that have reached us from his companions give further details of this aspect of the Prophet (saas):
Jaabir bin Samura (ra) states:
"Whenever the Holy Prophet (saas) tread on any path, when someone passed by later, that they could recognize that the prophet had passed by there because they could smell the fragrance of his body." (Fazlul Maulana, Al Hadis, Vol. 4, p. 340)
From Anas bin Malik (ra):
"I never felt a silk cloth, nor pure silk, nor any other thing softer than the palm of Rasulullah (saas). Nor did I smell any musk or any other fragrance, more sweet smelling than the fragrance of Rasullullah (saas)." (Shamaa-il Tirmidhi, Islamic Book Service Publications, New Delhi, 2000, p. 362)
In Qisas al-Anbiya, the Prophet (saas) was described in this way:
"His body was clean and his scent beautiful. Whether or not he had used scent, his skin always had a lovely scent to it. If someone shook hands or conversed with him, or showed his friendship or affection, he would smell that clean scent all day, and if he laid that sacred hand on a child's head, that child could be distinguished from other children by that clean scent." (Ahmed Cevdet Pasa, Qisas al-Anbiya, (Stories of the Prophets) Volume 4, Kanaat Press, Istanbul 1331, pp. 364-365)
Our Prophet’s (saas) Cleanliness Is a Model for All Muslims
Our Prophet (saas) frequently recommended cleanliness to believers. By paying great attention to cleanliness himself, he represents the finest model for believers. In one hadith the Prophet Muhammad (saas) says:
“ALLAH IS PURE AND LIKES PURITY, HE IS CLEAN AND LIKES CLEANLINESS, HE IS GENEROUS AND LIKES GENEROSITY, HE IS HOSPITABLE AND LOVES HOSPITALITY, SO CLEAN YOUR COURTYARDS” (Tirmidhi)
Our Lord, whose knowledge pervades all things, has made our Prophet (saas) a model for Muslims on the subjects of cleanliness and spiritual purity, as in all other matters. Believers who spend their whole lives in sincere devotion to Allah must turn to Allah in all things and adopt the cleanliness, modern sense of dress and grooming as models for themselves and make preparations for the hereafter in the physical as well as the spiritual sense.
Cleanliness Is a Feature of the People of Paradise
Our Prophet (saas) reveals in the hadiths that cleanliness is one feature of the people of paradise:
"Surely, Islam is pure, therefore be pure, because he can never enter Paradise who is not pure." (Ahmad Diya'al-Din al-Kamushkhanawi, Ramuz al-Ahadith, vol.1, 96/2)
Almighty Allah has also revealed in the Qur’an that filth is a characteristic of polytheists (Surat at-Tawba, 28) and hypocrites (Surat at-Tawba, 95). We must not forget that in order to be able to enjoy the delight and excitement of living in paradise, a spotless place full of enchantments, the soul must be trained and earthly desires controlled in this world in such a way as to delight in cleanliness and beauty in this world.
It is revealed that by our Almighty Lord’s leave, believers will enter paradise as spotless as they are in this world:
"And those who believe in their Lord will be driven to the Garden in companies and when they arrive there, finding its gates open,its custodians will say to them, ‘Peace be upon you! You have done well so enter it timelessly, for ever’.” (Surat az-Zumar, 73)

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