Women site, - Rulings on Divorce - II

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Doubt as to whether divorce is effectuated: If a man has doubt as to whether or not the divorce is effectuated, his doubt is ]regarded as[ inconsiderable, for certainty could not be removed by doubt according to the consensus of Islamic jurists. The woman has to rest assured of that.
The woman being authorized to divorce herself: The man has the right to authorize his wife to divorce herself. Among the words that denote this authorization we may mention, "Choose for yourself", "Your affairs are in your hand", or "Divorce yourself if you wish". If the woman chooses to divorce herself in this context, her divorce becomes irrevocable according to the soundest opinion. However, if she chooses to remain his wife, it would not be regarded as divorce. ‘Aa‘ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said, "The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave us the freedom of choice )to leave him or remain with him as his wives(, and we chose )to remain with( him. He did not regard it as a divorce." ]Narrated by Al-Jamaa’ah[ It is also possible for the man to authorize anyone else to divorce )his wife on his behalf(.
Taking witnesses to divorce
Divorce becomes effective without taking witnesses to it according to the opinion of the majority of Islamic jurists. That is because it is the husband's right, which Allaah The Almighty has put in his hand, and not in the hand of anyone else. In confirmation of that, Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And when you divorce women and they have ]nearly[ fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms.{]Quran 2:231[ According to Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, "Divorce then is the right of he who marries, for it is he alone who has the right to retain, which is revocation."
However, it is narrated on the authority of some Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, Taabi‘is )Followers(, may Allaah have mercy upon him and the chiefs of the Prophet's family that taking witnesses to divorce is obligatory, confirming their argument with the Aayah in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And when they have ]nearly[ fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or part with them according to acceptable terms. And bring to witness two just men from among you.{]Quran 65:2[ It is narrated on the authority of ‘Imraan ibn Husayn, may Allaah be pleased with him, that he was asked about a man who divorced his wife, and then had sexual intercourse with her, and he took no witnesses to divorcing her nor to taking her back, thereupon, ‘Imraan said, “You have divorced )your wife( without following the Sunnah )Prophetic tradition(, and have taken her back without following the Sunnah: take witnesses to your divorcing her, as well as to your taking her back, and do not return to do so once again.” ]Abu Daawood[
The apparent meaning of these texts implies the obligation to take witnesses to divorce and taking back )one's wife(; and this is, indeed, preferable, particularly nowadays, when certainty has impaired, and the people have become hasty in effectuating divorce. Taking witnesses )to divorce( then is more cautious for man's religion and more supportive in adhering to what is right and preserving rights )for their people(.
Question of the restoration of a divorced wife
If a woman is separated from her husband by minor irrevocable divorce and then gets married to another man and is then divorced and returns to her former husband after fulfilling the term of her ‘Iddah, a new contract is necessary. It is the preponderant opinion that after the new contract, the husband has the right to three divorces on his wife, return to him, since the other husband cancels out any divorce of the previous husband, whether they are three or less.
Muhallil and Muhallal
If a man divorces his wife for the third time, she is separated from him by major irrevocable divorce, and becomes unlawful for him )to remarry( until she marries another man with a valid marriage under the Sharee‘ah and he consummates the marriage with her. Of course, if he likes to live with her, he could live with her, and if he dislikes to live with her, he could divorce her; and in this case, she becomes lawful for the first husband to remarry. Allaah The Almighty Says about the husband who divorces his wife thrice )what means(:}And if he has divorced her ]for the third time[, then she is not lawful to him afterward until ]after[ she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her ]or dies[, there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep ]within[ the limits of Allaah .{]Quran 2:230[
The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was asked about a man who divorced his wife )thrice(, and then another man married her and consummated the marriage with her, and divorced her before he had sexual intercourse with her: would she be lawful for the former husband )to remarry(?" He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"No, until the other )i.e. the second husband( takes pleasure in her, and she takes pleasure in him )i.e. have sexual intercourse(."]An-Nasaa‘i[
But, if the man who divorces his wife thrice hires another man to marry his wife with a formal contract but without seeing her, and then to divorce her immediately in return for a certain sum of money, this would not make the woman lawful to her )first( husband, and his life with her in this state is unlawful. Allaah The Almighty cursed the Muhallil, i.e., the man hired )to make the irrevocably divorced woman lawful for her first husband to remarry by his marriage to her( and the Muhallal lahu, i.e. the irrevocably divorcing man )who hires him in order to make his irrevocably divorced woman lawful for him to remarry(. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Shall I not inform you of the male-goat that is borrowed )from among men(?”They said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said:“It is the Muhallil: May Allaah curse the Muhallil and the Muhallal lahu.”]Ibn Maajah[
Revocation
The man who divorces his wife has the right to take her back so long as she is still in the term of her ‘Iddah, if he divorces her for the first or the second time. In confirmation of that, Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And their husbands have more right to take them back in this ]period[ if they want reconciliation.{]Quran 2:228[ The way he takes her back is debatable among religious jurists. Some say that if he has sexual intercourse with her, he then has taken her back, provided that he has the intention of taking her back. Others say that if he touches her with sexual desire, he has taken her back. In order for one to take back his wife, the intention to do so is sufficient about which he should tell his wife, whose consent is not requisite, for taking her back )one's wife( as it is the right of the husband.

PUBLISHER The fact that Islamic moral values do not yet rule the world must stir all Muslims

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Women site, - How They Became MuslimWomen

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Islam is being subjected to a fierce attack internally as well as externally with accusations of terrorism, regression and barbarism constantly directed at it. Also, the enemies' attacks are directed to the Muslim woman and herHijaab, which indicates her identity and the degree of her commitment to the orders of Allaah The Almighty.
In the meantime, journalist Wafaa' Sa‘daawi has presented examples and testimonies of female converts to Islam, from the East and the West, in her book related to this subject. These examples and testimonies emphasize that Islam is the religion which complies with the human's sound innate inclination to the truth which transcends all barriers. They also emphasize that Islam is the religion whose followers increase willingly and continuously, for it fulfills the needs of the mind, soul and body - in total harmony.
Moreover, these testimonies expose the fabrications of certain orientalists and the misinformation spread by the media and institutions of Western culture. These women adhered to theirHijaaband escaped from intermixing with men after they had suffered from its grave consequences in their communities, while some women in our societies reject theHijaaband advocate intermixing with men thinking that by doing so they will be up to date with fashion.
These testimonies do not absolve the Muslims of shouldering their responsibility or their failure to present the true image of Islam to the West. In fact, these shortcomings on their part have given these orientalists reasonable grounds to support their attempts of forging facts and distorting the image of Islam and Muslims.
Islam and Women's Dignity
Monica, who was Japanese Buddhist, grew up in a scientific and rational environment. She enjoyed a warm family life and success in both her studies and work. All means of comfortable living were available for her. However she suffered psychological unrest and deadly idleness. She remained as such until Allaah The Almighty willed that she was appointed to work as an interpreter for Japanese delegations in an Arab tourism company. This was her opportunity to learn about Islam. She then began studying it thoroughly so as to wipe out the ambiguous image that had been placed in her mind. With time, she developed a solid relation with the Quran and Islam. In Islam, she found the full answers to her philosophical questions about the universe and life. She admired the woman's status in Islaam, as well as the preservation of dignity and the liberation of the mind and soul. Therefore, she decided to become a Muslim and went to Egypt, declared her conversion to Islam in Al-Azhar and married an Egyptian Muslim.
A Muslim Since Childhood
Samarwas an Egyptian Christian who loved Islam since childhood and was attached to prayers and the Quran, which she began to read in her second preparatory year. Reading the Quran would make her cry as she was so touched by it. She continued to resist her family's pressure and their wish to give her a life-long tenure at a monastery. She succeeded in standing firm and declared her conversion to Islam, and at that point everything in her life changed. She became an observant Muslim in every aspect of her life. The Islamic marital system appealed to her, as it achieves the benefit of both parties, prevents spousal cheating by permitting divorce and polygyny, preserves woman's rights and protects her dignity by mandating theHijaab. On her journey to Islam she sought knowledge, made righteous friends and read the Quran.
False Freedom in the West
Isabelle )Eemaan Ramadan(, who was a Swiss Christian, says that the breezes of faith blew gently on her during the month ofRamadanafter she was uplifted by knowing Allaah The Almighty and His Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and some principles of Islam. This corrected the distorted image she had about Islam and Muslims, and she found in Islam another life that is based on the creed of monotheism. This gave her great psychological ease through the direct relation between Allaah The Almighty and His slave, away from the intervention of the clergy.
She developed deep feelings of faith during the month ofRamadanwhen she tried fasting and praying and wore theHijaabfor the first time. She was also supported by knowledgeable and righteous friends to change the distorted image which is propagated by the Western media about Islam and Muslims. In spite of the freedom claimed by the West, their attitude about her Islam andHijaabemphasized the false freedom which states that one is free in what one thinks, but should only do what society approves of.
Alexandra Brown )Kareemah( who was a German Christian embraced Islam when she was twelve years old. This was due to her continuous search for the correct religion during her childhood and her extensive readings were her gate to knowing the Islamic world and being impressed by the Islamic ideology and its acts of worship.
She decided to embrace Islam one Christmas Eve and succeeded in guiding her grandmother to Islam, and the light of Islam entered her heart before declaring her conversion in an Islamic center in London. She lives in Egypt with her husband and small family, as she is keen on bringing her children up in a sound Islamic environment.
Her Weapon is Patience
Montserrat)Zaynab( Uvera grew up in a Spanish Christian family with a distorted view of Islam and Muslims. Her readings of the Old and New Testament and the amount of contradiction between the two caused her great confusion. However this confusion was overcome by her reading about Islam and the Quran, as she found many solutions for the complex ideological and legislative issues in Islam, and therefore, decided to become a Muslim. However, she faced a lot of problems with her family concerning purification, food and prohibitions. With time, they got accustomed to these Islamic practices, and her weapon in the realm of Islam was patience in the hope of attaining the happiness of this world and the Hereafter and calling other non-Muslim women to Islam with the intention of protecting them from the corruption and immorality of Western society.
Layla ‘Izz Ad-Deen, a Dutch Christian, loved Islam due to her relation with Muslims in Holland. They presented a good example of Islam, insight into the marital relationship, and Islam's respect for women and the familial entity.
She married a young Muslim man some months before declaring her Islam in Egypt and then regained her lost tranquility. She then began to observe the Islamic acts of worship. After her return with her small family to Holland she began working in an Islamic center. Some time later, she moved back to Egypt to be able to bring up her children away from the temptations of European society. However, she raises questions about the lack ofHijaab, acts of worship and non-Islamic dealings in the Muslim society.
Marian Paul, an American Christian, grew up in a strict Catholic family. However, when she dealt with Arab students at university she liked their character, relations and dealings, contrary to what is usually circulated in the mass media. After she began reading about Islam and read the translation of the Quran, she discovered the truth about Islam and its history. She was amazed at the status of woman in Islam and was dazzled that woman enjoyed their rights under Islam 1400 years ago while the Western woman has only enjoyed part of her status a hundred or so years ago. She also admired the Islamic marital relationship and the integration of the roles of family members. This did not happen with many American husbands and wives.
Peace of Mind - Tranquility
“I was astray. I did not know why I was alive. I did not know what comes after death. I lived in constant depression and worry, but now I have peace of mind and tranquility. I love this religion that our Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was sent with to bring as a mercy to human beings.”
These are the words of Sylvie, a French convert, who is aware of the Islamic issue and is very concerned with matters and troubles of Muslims. In spite of her scientific achievement )Doctorate in Chemical Engineering( and luxurious lifestyle, she was always sad and disharmonious with those around her. She was not comfortable with discussions in Judaism and Christianity about distorting the image of Islam and Muslims.
Through her Muslim Arab brother-in-law, she read about Islam and became familiar with it. She found full answers to all the questions she had about life and death.
She found her entity and dignity in the framework of Islam. Outside that framework, she is considered a cheap commodity that is bought, sold and deprived of any rights.

PUBLISHER The fact that Islamic moral values do not yet rule the world must stir all Muslims

I welcome, My Blog Readers Openions. So write your comments and Suggetions any time, below each Posts or Write to my Email - dgptnayd@yahoo.com/-

Women site, - Spreading the Culture of Consultation in the House

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One of the most important characteristics of the Muslim community is its dependence upon collective decision-making and the principle of consultation, as mentioned in the Quran, concerning all the issues, big or small, that serve its benefits and affect its trends. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
•}And consult them in the matter.{]Quran 3:159[
•}And whose affair is ]determined by[ consultation among themselves.{]Quran 42:38[
That was characteristic of the Muslim community in early times. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, never did anything that concerned his community without consulting his Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, regarding it.
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, consulted them whether or not to set out to fight the enemies in the Battle of Badr and also in the Battle of Uhud. He did the same in the event of the Ifk )a fabricated accusation cast on ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her(, where he stood on the pulpit and addressed them saying:“Who would excuse me regarding a man who spoke evil about my family?”And we find in At-Tirmithi the statement, “I have never seen a man who consulted his companions more often than Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did his,” The Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, confirmed that with their behavior.
A single woman’s advice rescued the Muslims when the Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, were on their way to the Ka‘bah to perform their pilgrimage, but were stopped by the Quraysh, subsequent to which the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had signed the Hudaybiyah treaty. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, ordered them to remove Ihraam )clothing of ritual consecration( without having performed the pilgrimage that they had come for, but none of them moved to implement that order. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, went to his wife, Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, and said to her:“The people have been ruined.”She suggested to him that he should not go out and not speak to any of them, but rather invite his barber )and have his head shaved, thus being the first to end Ihraam(. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did as she said, whereupon the Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, hastened to implement his command and imitate him.
That living example instructs us how the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to consult his wives, may Allaah be pleased with them, in many affairs even if they pertained to the Ummah )Muslim nation(, and not only the family.
The culture of consultation in the family brings it closer to the truth and farther from the wrong, as confirmed by Al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, may Allaah be pleased with him and his father, “No people ever consult with each other except that they are thereby guided to their most correct direction.”
As we have already said in the conditions necessary for amending the family, it is not important if I am the one who gives the soundest opinion, but what is important is to follow it, even if it comes from anyone of my family members or anyone else. That is confirmed by Ash-Shaafi’i, may Allaah have mercy upon him, “I have never debated with anyone but that I hoped that Allaah The Almighty would put the truth on his tongue.”
A lot of fathers behave in a non-Islamic way when dealing with their families in this respect. Any one of them might make many decisions that concern the entire family without informing them about it. He sometimes sells the house or the shop, sometimes gives his daughter in marriage, and so on, with the family being the last to know. The result is that many families fail in their relations because of the lack of communication.
According to specialized studies, more than 80% of the problems adolescents suffer from in the Arab world are the direct result of parents’ attempts to drive their children according to their own opinions, customs and traditions. This causes the children to abstain from being involved in dialogue with their parents, because the children think that either their parents are not concerned enough about their problems, or they could neither understand nor solve them.
Indeed, a father’s dictatorship produces distorted young people, whose main concern is only to set themselves free from that reality. This explains why girls often accept to marry the first man who proposes to them, whether or not he is suitable for her, simply to release herself from her father’s dictatorship.
Consultation within the family does not undermine the man’s station; on the contrary, it honors him in the sight of his children, makes him more respectable and lovable, and guides him, along with them, to the right path.
The benefits of consultation within the family are numerous, and we could sum up many of them as follows:
• Adherence to the methodology of Allaah The Almighty in everyday life affairs.
• Capability of holding dialogue and accepting the opinion of others. Here, one should remember that his communication with the child teaches him/her how to speak fluently, helps him/her to arrange his/her ideas, develops his/her personality, and brings him/ her closer to the parents.
Many men and women cannot express their opinions whenever they sit in a gathering simply because they have not been accustomed to that in their homes. A lot of them do not accept the opinion of others for they are also not used to doing that in their homes.
Undoubtedly, that puts the children’s upbringing at risk, as well as their future and ability to integrate in life.
• Emergence of talents: The process of thinking is difficult, but at the same time, once a man is asked about anything, he starts to gather the different threads in order to weave a particular solution, which might be unique.
• Being distant from erroneous procedures.
If there is a mistake even after consultation, all members would share responsibility, and none of them would be accused of falling short in doing what they had to do.

PUBLISHER The fact that Islamic moral values do not yet rule the world must stir all Muslims

I welcome, My Blog Readers Openions. So write your comments and Suggetions any time, below each Posts or Write to my Email - dgptnayd@yahoo.com/-