Women site, - Whom Should you Choose as a Husband? - II

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• He should have memorized a portion of the Quran
The immigrant Companion, Abu Huthayfah ibn ‘Utbah ibn Rabee‘ah, may Allaah be pleased with him, was one of the early Muhaajiroon )Emigrants( and early Muslims, and his father ‘Utbah, his uncle Shaybah and his brother Al-Waleed ibn ‘Utbah were all among the chiefs and wealthy men of the Quraysh. Nonetheless, Abu Huthayfah, may Allaah be pleased with him, gave his niece Hind bint Al-Waleed, may Allaah be pleased with her, in marriage to his freed slave Saalim, may Allaah be pleased with him, because he was one of the memorizers of the Quran. By doing so, he broke one of the evil practices of the pre-Islamic era and announced the birth of a new principle of equality, which does not recognize any differences except on the basis of piety and righteous deeds. All people are slaves in the Kingdom of Allaah The Almighty.
Sahl ibn Sa‘d As-Saa‘idi, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,
"A woman came to Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, 'O Messenger of Allaah! I have come to give you myself in marriage )without dowry(.' The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, looked at her. He looked at her carefully and fixed his glance on her and then lowered his head. When the lady saw that he did not say anything, she sat down. A man from his Companions stood up and said, 'O Messenger of Allaah! If you do not need her, then marry her to me.'
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked:'Have you got anything to offer?'The man said, 'No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah!' The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said )to him(:'Go to your family and see if you have anything.'The man went and returned, saying, 'No, by Allaah, I have not found anything.' The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:'Go again and look for something, even if it is an iron ring.'He went again and returned, saying, 'No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah! I could not find even an iron ring, but this is my Izaar )a lower garment(.' He had no upper garment. He added, "I give half of it to her."
The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:'What will she do with your Izaar? If you wear it, she will be naked, and if she wears it, you will be naked.'So the man sat down for a long while and then got up )to depart(.
When the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, saw him leaving, he ordered that he be called back. When he came, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:'How much of the Quran do you know?'He said, 'I know such and such Surah,' counting them. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:'Have you memorized them by heart?'He replied, 'Yes.' The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:'Go, I marry her to you for those parts of the Quran which you have memorized.'”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
• He should have a noble background
It was narrated on the authority of Sa‘eed ibn Al-Musayyib, may Allaah have mercy upon him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"People are like gold and silver. Those who were the best during the pre-Islamic period would be the best in Islam, if they understood the religion."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
• He should be kind and gentle with his wife )or of good morals(
Abu Bakr ibn Abu Al-Jahm ibn Sukhayr Al-‘Adawi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,
"I heard Faatimah bint Qays say that she was irrevocably divorced and that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alahi wa sallam, did not allocate housing or financial maintenance for her. She said that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to her:'Let me know when your ‘Iddah expires.'When her ‘Iddah had expired, Mu‘aawiyah, Abu Jahm and Usaamah ibn Zayd proposed to her. Thereupon, the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:'As for Mu‘aawiyah, he is a poor man, having no property, and as for Abu Jahm, he often beats women. Marry Usaamah ibn Zayd.'She gestured with her hand to show objection, saying, 'Usaamah! Usaamah!' The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:'Obeying Allaah and His Messenger is better for you.'She said, 'I married him, and later I was envied )by other women for that marriage(.' ]Muslim[
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, warned her against marrying Abu Jahm because he used to beat women very often. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, also said:"The most perfect believers in faith are those who have the best morals and are the kindest with their families."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ Therefore, the Muslim woman should carefully make sure of the good morals of the suitor, without any concession or laxity in this matter. If a husband has bad manners and mistreats others, their marital life will worsen.
In Tuhfat Al-‘Aroos, the following was mentioned:
A young man proposed to a Bedouin girl who admired his beauty and did not pay heed to his morals or behavior. Her father advised her not to marry him because he was not a righteous man, but she did not accept his advice. He again asked her to refuse, but she insisted and finally married him. One month after her marriage, the father visited her in her house and noticed signs of beating on her body. He pretended that he had not noticed anything, and asked her, 'How are you, my daughter?' She also pretended that she was content with her conditions, but when her father asked, 'What are these marks on your body?' She burst into tears, and said, ''I do not know what I should tell you, O father. It is my mistake that I disobeyed you and chose him without making sure of his morals and conduct .''
It should be noted that the foundation of a man's good morals is forbearance, modesty, generosity and mercy.
• He should be able to afford marriage )being sexually competent and financially solvent, capable of bearing the costs of marriage and living expenses(
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to Faatimah bint Qays:"As for Mu‘aawiyyah, he is a poor man, having no property."]Muslim[
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, encouraged the youth to marry once they could afford to do so. It was narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"O young men, whoever among you can afford marriage, he should marry, for marriage helps one lower his gaze and guard his chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, let him observe fasting, for it is a shield for him."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
In his book Nayl Al-Awtaar, Ash-Shawkaani quoted Al-Khattaabi, may Allaah have mercy upon them, as saying, "Affordability refers to sexual competence." An-Nawawi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,
"Scholars differed about the type of affordability in the Hadeeth and have two opinions. Both of them share the same meaning. The preponderant opinion is that it refers to sexual intercourse, so the Hadeeth would run as 'whoever can afford marriage sexually, provided that he is able to cover its costs, let him marry, and whoever cannot afford it because he is not able to cover its costs, let him observe fasting to curb his sexual desire and to avoid the evil of illegal sex, as the shield guards man'. The second opinion signifies that affordability is confined to the costs of marriage, which are intrinsic to the process. The Hadeeth, according to this opinion, means that whoever can financially afford marriage, let him marry; and whoever is not able to cover its costs, let him observe fasting."
He should be strong and trustworthy
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}One of the women said, "O my father, hire him. Indeed, the best one you can hire is the strong and the trustworthy."{]Quran 28:26[ He should be strong and able to earn his living, and he should be trustworthy as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"Fear Allaah regarding your wives, for you married them by the Ordinances of Allaah."
The untrustworthy man beats and insults his wife, so he does not abide by the Ordinances of Allaah. He is not allowed to beat her without a crime, nor is he allowed to desert her without guilt. He should be kind to her. This behavior pertains to the trust, and the husband who violates it is considered as having betrayed his wife because he married her by the Ordinances of Allaah, so he should either keep her in an acceptable manner or release her in kindness. The woman exerts extraordinary effort in bringing up her children, doing the housework and educating the children. On the other hand, Allaah The Almighty gave man the right to be in charge of the wife and should have great patience, which could comprehend four wives. Therefore, how is it that a husband cannot be patient with one wife? Surely, there is a fault somewhere in such a man. In his book ‘Awdatul-Hijaab', Dr. Muhammad ibn Ismaa‘eel Al-Muqaddim said,
"It is obligatory for the guardian of the woman to fear Allaah regarding choosing her husband by considering his good qualities. He should not give her in marriage to a bad-mannered husband or to a husband with weak faith or to a husband who could not fulfill her rights. Marriage is like enslavement, so it is important to carefully choose her husband. She would be like a slave girl with nobody to free her while the husband has the power to divorce her under any circumstances."
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"Be kind to your women, for they are like captives under your authority."]At-Tirmithi[ The woman is like a slave-girl or a captive with her husband, because she is not allowed to leave her husband's house except with his permission, whether her father, her mother or anyone other than her parents ordered her to leave. This is according to the unanimous agreement of scholars.

PUBLISHER The fact that Islamic moral values do not yet rule the world must stir all Muslims

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Dought & clear, - It is mustahabb to isolateoneself at times of tribulation when the Muslim fears he may lose his religious commitment.

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I recently read this hadith which is related by Bukhari but I dont understand its meaning, it goes something like; 'A time will come when the best property of a Muslim will be sheep which he will take to a mountain so as too flee with his realigion from afflictions' Can you lpease try and explain it's meaning to me?
Praise be to Allaah.
Commentary on the hadeeth.
This hadeeth was narrated by al-Bukhaari in a number of places in hisSaheeh, such as (7088)Kitaab al-Fitan, where he narrated that Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Soon there will come a time when the best wealth a Muslim will have will be sheep which he will take to the mountaintops and places where rain falls, fleeing for the sake of his religious commitment from tribulation.” And Muslim narrated a similar hadeeth in hisSaheeh(1888), also from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him), which says that a man came to the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “Which of the people is best?” He said, “A man who strives in jihad for the sake of Allaah with his wealth and his self.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “A believer in a mountain pass who worships Allaah and leaves the people alone.”
The word sha’af [in the second hadeeth] means a mountaintop. The word shi’b [in the first hadeeth] means a gap or pass between two mountains. Al- Nawawi said inSharh Saheeh Muslim(13/34): “This does not mean the mountain pass itself, rather what is referred to is being alone and isolating oneself. A mountain pass is mentioned as a metaphor because it is usually devoid of people.”
The hadeeth indicates that it is preferable to isolate oneself from people and not mix with them in cases where a Muslim fears for his religious commitment because of widespread tribulation, where if he mixes with people he cannot be sure that his religious commitment will be safe and that he will not apostatize or deviate from the truth, or fall into shirk or abandon the basic principles and pillars of Islam, and so on.
Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said inal-Fath(13/42): “This report indicates that isolation is preferable in the case of one who fears for his religious commitment.”
Al-Sindi said in his footnotes on al-Nasaa’i (8/124): “This shows that it is permissible to isolate oneself, indeed it is preferable at times of tribulation.”
In the second hadeeth quoted above the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) mentioned the believer who isolates himself second in virtue only to the mujaahid who fights for the sake of Allaah. Al-Haafiz said inal-Fath(6/6): “The believer who isolates himself is second in virtue only to the mujaahid because the one who mixes with people cannot guarantee that he will not commit sin, and these sins may be greater in number than the hasanaat (rewards for good deeds) that he gains as a result of mixing with people. But being isolated is regarded as preferable only in cases where there is tribulation.”
As for isolating oneself at times other than times of tribulation when a Muslim fears for his religious commitment, the scholars differed in their views in this case. The majority said that mixing with people is preferable to withdrawing from them, and they quoted several texts as evidence for that, including the following:
1 – That this was the way of the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the Prophets before him (peace be upon them), and the majority of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them). (SharhMuslimby al-Nawawi, 13/34).
2 – The report narrated by al-Tirmidhi (5207) and Ibn Maajah (4032), which says that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer who mixes with people and patiently bears their annoyance will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and patiently bear their annoyance.” (Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2035).
Al-Sindi said in his footnote on Ibn Maajah (2/493): “This hadeeth indicates that the one who is patient and mixes with people is better than the one who isolates himself.”
Al-San’aani said inSubul al-Salaam(4/416): “This indicates that mixing with people whereby one enjoins what is good and forbids what is evil and deals with them in a good manner is better than keeping away from them and not putting up with mixing with them.”
3 – The report narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1574) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “One of the Companions of the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came upon a mountain pass where there was a small spring of fresh water, which delighted him because it was so good. He said, ‘What if I were to withdraw from the people and settle in this mountain pass? But I will not do it until I seek the permission of the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ So he mentioned it to the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said: ‘Do not do that, for if any one of you remains striving for the sake of Allaah, it is better than praying in His House for seventy years. Do you not want Allaah to forgive you and admit you to Paradise? Fight in Allaah's cause. He who fights in Allaah's cause as long as the time between two milkings of a she-camel will be assured of Paradise.’” (It was classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1348).
The benefits that the Muslim gains by mixing with people for legitimate shar’i purposes, include establishing the rituals of Islam, increasing the number of the Muslims, spreading all kinds of goodness among them by helping and aiding them etc., attending Jumu’ah (Friday) prayers and prayers in congregation, attending funerals, visiting the sick, attending dhikr circles, etc. (Fath al-Baari, 13/43);Sharh Muslimby al-Nawawi, 13/34).
And Allaah is the Source of strength. And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad and all his family and companions, and grant them peace.

PUBLISHER The fact that Islamic moral values do not yet rule the world must stir all Muslims

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Dought & clear, - Conditions of righteous deeds.

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When does Allaah accept a person’s deeds? What are the conditions for a deed to be righteous and acceptable to Allaah?
Praise be to Allaah.
An action cannot be an act of worship unless it includes two things: complete love and complete humility. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But those who believe, love Allaah more (than anything else)”
[al-Baqarah 2:165]
“Verily, those who live in awe for fear of their Lord”
[al-Mu’minoon 23:57]
And Allaah mentions them together in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, they used to hasten on to do good deeds, and they used to call on Us with hope and fear, and used to humble themselves before Us” [al-Anbiya’ 21:90]
Once this is understood, we will realize that worship can only be accepted from a Muslim who believes in Allaah alone (Tawheed), as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We shall turn to whatever deeds they (disbelievers, polytheists, sinners) did, and We shall make such deeds as scattered floating particles of dust” [al-Furqaan 25:23]
InSaheeh Muslim(214) it is narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “I said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, during the Jaahiliyyah, Ibn Jud’aan used to uphold the ties of kinship and feed the poor. Will that avail him anything?’ He said, ‘It will not avail him anything because he never said, “O Allaah, forgive me my sins on the Day of Judgement”’” – i.e., he did not believe in the resurrection or do good deeds hoping to meet Allaah.
Moreover, the Muslim’s worship will not be accepted unless it meets two basic conditions:
1 – Sincerity of intention towards Allaah, which means that the person’s intention in all his words and deeds, both outward and inward, is to seek the pleasure of Allaah and none other.
2 – It should be in accordance with the sharee’ah which Allaah has prescribed, and he should not worship Allaah in any other way. That is achieved by following the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and what he brought, and shunning anything that goes against it, and not inventing any new form of worship that has not been narrated in sound reports from the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
The evidence for these two conditions is the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
“So whoever hopes for the Meeting with his Lord, let him work righteousness and associate none as a partner in the worship of his Lord” [al-Kahf 18:110]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “ ‘So whoever hopes for the Meeting with his Lord’ means his reward; ‘let him work righteousness’ means, that which is in accordance with the laws of Allaah; ‘and associate none as a partner in the worship of his Lord’ this means seeking the Face of Allaah alone, with no partner or associate. These two conditions are the basis of acceptable deeds, which must be sincerely for the sake of Allaah alone and correct according to the sharee’ah of the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

PUBLISHER The fact that Islamic moral values do not yet rule the world must stir all Muslims

I welcome, My Blog Readers Openions. So write your comments and Suggetions any time, below each Posts or Write to my Email - dgptnayd14@yahoo.ca/-