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Thursday, November 21, 2013

Women site, - What Ails Women who Act like Men? - II



























• Mass media and blind imitation:
People imitate and internalize what is depicted on television through serials and movies. Such media spreads misleading and deviated ideas that tempt women and encourage them to rebel against religion and sound principles and to reject the guardianship of men, and ask for their "freedom". They also display indecent clothes that are similar to men’s wear in the name of fashion.
Many women are affected by what is presented in the mass media and they consequently rebel against religion, morals and the guardianship of men. They imitate the morals of dissolute women and their attitudes without thinking or distinguishing between good and evil. Hence, women who are dressed and behave like men have emerged in recent times. This is the result of blind imitation and weakness of their personality and as a consequence of not being proud of their religion.
• Bad company:
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“One adopts the habits and ways of his friend, so be careful with whom you make friends.”Bad companions, undoubtedly, have a great effect on growing girls as they acquire bad qualities and corrupt morals from them. For instance, the girl who accompanies boyish girls is affected by the way they dress or behave, so as not to appear strange or odd among them. Hence, parents should be careful and choose righteous girls who are engaged in beneficial activities such as going to Quran centers and mosques to be the companions of their daughters.
• A feeling of inferiority and the desire to attract attention:
If a girl suffers from lack of friends or feels inferior, she would do anything to attract the attention ofpeople. If a girl’s physical appearance has something that resembles men and as a result, if any of her family or friends mocks her for this, she will have no self-confidence and this will lead her to imitate men. In such cases, parents are advised to be gentle towards girls and shower them with love and compassion so that they would not seek the approval and appreciation of strangers, such as evil-minded people who would corrupt them and take advantage of them.
• Lack of Positive Role Models:
Being around good role models is one of the most important factors that contribute towards righteous upbringing. Sometimes the mother might act in an unfeminine manner herself and her daughters would naturally imitate her as girls usually acquire their personalities from their mothers. For instance, if the mother undermines the authority of her husband and does not respect him, most probably her daughters would not appreciate their husbands either. Similarly, if the mother is loud-mouthed in her speech and raises her voice, her daughter will acquire this attribute. This also applies to imitating men and any other characteristic.
• Lack of protective zeal on the part of her husband or guardian:
Some men do not prevent their women from violating the orders of Allaah The Almighty regarding Hijaab )Islamic covering( and they do not feel any sense of protectiveness even when the women in their guardianship behave improperly. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Three )types of people( will not enter Paradise and Allaah will not look at them on the Day of Judgment: the one who is undutiful to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the Dayyooth )a man who approves of indecency among his womenfolk(.”
Aspects of assuming a masculine attitude:
Nowadays, women have started to imitate men in more than one aspect. This imitation is no longer restricted to the way they dress, but it includes many other aspects; some of these are:
• Imitating men in the way they dress: Women have started to wear clothes that are similar to those of men, such as trousers. Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, said that the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Cursed is the man who wears the clothes of women and the woman who wears the clothes of men.”Women also imitate men by wearing footwear that are similar to what men wear. ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was asked about the woman who wears the sandals of men, so she said:“The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, cursed the women who assume a masculine attitude.”
Unfortunately, nowadays, there are many shoes that have unusual shapes that any sensible man would disdain from wearing, nevertheless, many women buy them.
• Intermixing with men in markets and public places: Some women do not feel shy about standing in the same line with men, sitting beside them, especially in shops, or speaking with salesmen as if they were her Mahram )non-marriageable( men.
• Speaking loudly and arguing with men: Some women speak in a loud voice that could be heard by any one even though women are known for their low and gentle voices and it is known that they should avoid speaking with non-Mahram )marriageable( men.
• Imitating men in the way they walk, move and the way they have their hair cut: Some women walk like men in the way they stride and make the same movements of men that show strength and toughness. Some of them have even taken up traditionally male sports like Karate, weightlifting, track and field events and football in an attempt to imitate men.
• Toughness in dealing with others: Some women behave like men with their relatives. They are stubborn; bad tempered and do not talk respectfully or appreciatively with anyone. These qualities are dispraised when they are adopted by men, let alone women.
• Abandoning adornment that is peculiar to women such as Henna and Kuhl. This makes women similar to men in the way they look. ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said, “A woman made a sign from behind a curtain to indicate that she had a letter for the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, closed his hand, saying:‘I do not know whether this is a man's or a woman's hand.’ She said, ‘No, a woman.’ He said: ‘If you were a woman, you would have different nails )because of the Henna you apply(.’”
• Refusing the authority of men or the care of the guardian: Some women do not accept to be under the guardianship of a man, but they want absolute freedom without taking permission or consulting their guardian.
Women who assume a masculine attitude and abandon modesty become like a tree that does not have its bark and will soon die. Masculine women speak with anybody about anything, and go everywhere without being bashful. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The following statement belonging to the early prophets is from among what the people have retained, ‘If you do not feel shy, then, do whatever you like.’”

PUBLISHER " M_NajimudeeN "

Women site, - Rulings on Divorce - III
























Separation by court
It is a permissible matter in order to enable the woman to terminate her marital relationship that she could not terminate by herself, because she does not have the right of divorce.
Separation by the court is of two kinds:
1- Separation which is considered as divorce and it is considered an irrevocable divorce. There are many reasons for which the woman has the right to ask for separation, leading to divorce, including:
• The husband does not financially support her
• The husband has some disabilities, whether they are physical disabilities like leprosy, to the extent that it makes it difficult upon her to stay with him without harm, or sexual dysfunctions that prevent him from having sexual intercourse with her or begetting children
• Bad companionship
• The husband's long absence from his wife
• His long imprisonment which causes harm to the wife, even if he leaves her sufficient maintenance.
Among the forms of separation which are regarded as an irrevocable divorce, we may mention Eelaa‘ if its conditions are met, and Khul‘ for those who are of the opinion that it is divorce.
2- Separation which is considered as an annulment of the marriage contract and it does not reduce the number of divorces.
Cancellation is caused by something that happens with which the marriage contract is prevented from continuing, like the choice of either of the spouses, upon reaching puberty, to annul the marriage )which was concluded by hisher guardian before reaching puberty( , discovering that the spouses are suckling siblings, or the conversion of any of the spouses to Islam. The annulment of the marriage contract terminates the marital relationship at once, like an irrevocable divorce.
When any one of the spouses embraces Islam before the other
If either of the spouses embraces Islam before the other, their marriage is in a hanging state: if the other embraces Islam before the wife's term of ‘Iddah )waiting period( is over, their marriage is still in effect; and if her term of ‘Iddah is over, she could marry anyone else if she so desires, or wait if she so desires. If the other spouse, who had not yet embraced Islam, embraces Islam, and the wife had not yet been married to anyone else, they would return to their matrimony with no need to renew the contract.
According to Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, "We do not know that a marriage was ever renewed because )either of the spouses embraced( Islam )after the other(. One of two things used to be done in this respect: either they separate and she marries another; or she remained a wife of him until he/she embraced Islam even after a long time." It is narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, that he said, "The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa salam, returned his daughter Zaynab, may Allaah be pleased with her, to Abu Al-‘As Ibn Ar-Rabee‘ )after he had embraced Islam( on the basis of their previous marriage, and he did not do anything afresh." ]Ahmad, Abu Daawood and Ibn Maajah[
Li‘aan
If a man accuses his wife of committing adultery, whatever the form his charge against her might take -- even if it is to deny before the judge that her pregnancy is from him -- the ruling is the same as described by Allaah The Almighty in the Aayah )verse( that says )what means(:}And those who accuse their wives ]of adultery[ and have no witnesses except themselves - then the witness of one of them ]shall be[ four testimonies ]swearing[ by Allaah that indeed, he is of the truthful. And the fifth ]oath will be[ that the curse of Allaah be upon him if he should be among the liars. But it will prevent punishment from her if she gives four testimonies ]swearing[ by Allaah that indeed, he is of the liars. And the fifth ]oath will be[ that the wrath of Allaah be upon her if he was of the truthful.{]Quran 24:6-9[
The presence of the judge is necessary for the process of Li‘aan to be carried out. He has to remind the woman )of Allaah The Almighty(, and admonish her. According to the Sunnah )tradition(, in Li‘aan the man should be brought forward to give his testimony first before the woman. If the husband abstains from Li‘aan, the corporal punishment prescribed for the crime of the false accusation should be implemented on him. If the woman abstains from Li‘aan, the corporal punishment prescribed for adultery should be implemented on her. After carrying out the measures of Li‘aan, the spouses should be parted, as they would become unlawful for each other, and they should never marry again according to the opinion of the majority of Islamic jurists. However, some are of the opinion that it is possible for him to remarry her if he belies himself, or if either of them is incompetent for being a witness.
If a man is involved in Li‘aan with his wife in which he denies his child from her, the child's ascription to the father, as well as the child’s financial maintenance lapse; and this cancels any mutual inheritance between them. In this case, the child is attributed to his mother, and they inherit each other, since the child is traced to the owner of the bed )i.e., the legitimate husband(, which becomes cancelled by Li’aan. It is narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, that he said: The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"A child is traced to the owner of the bed, and for the adulterer are stones )i.e. stoning to death(."]Al-Jamaa’ah except Abu Daawood[
Eelaa‘
It is that the husband takes an oath not to have sexual intercourse with his wife for a duration that exceeds four months. Whoever does so is considered in a state of Eelaa' from his wife. However, according to the Maaliki scholars, whoever abstains from having sexual intercourse with his wife for the same period without making an oath, just for the purpose of harming her, is considered in a state of Eelaa' from her, and is subject to the ruling of Eelaa‘.
Ruling of Eelaa‘: According to the Sharee‘ah )Islamic legislation( the husband who has sworn not to have sexual intercourse with his wife has as long as a four-month respite to retract his decision and have sexual intercourse with his wife. If he does not, he would be in a state of Eelaa’, and expiation for his oath would become due upon him. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}For those who swear not to have sexual relations with their wives is a waiting time of four months, but if they return ]to normal relations[ - then indeed, Allaah is Forgiving and Merciful.{]Quran 2:226[
However, if the four months elapse and the husband does not retract from his oath by having sexual intercourse with his wife, by doing so he will have then decided to divorce his wife. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And if they decide on divorce - then indeed, Allaah is Hearing and Merciful.{]Quran 2:227[ Hence, the majority of scholars are of the opinion that the wife has the right to ask him either to have sexual intercourse with her or to divorce her. If he still abstains from having sexual intercourse with her, the judge should pressure him to divorce her. If he refuses, then, the judge should divorce her on his behalf, and it becomes a revocable divorce according to the soundest opinion. The term of ‘Iddah is due upon the woman who is divorced upon the basis of Eelaa‘, like other divorced women.
In other cases, a man might make his wife unlawful for himself. If prohibition is intended for the woman herself, it does not become a divorce. It is narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, "If a man declares his wife unlawful for himself, it is an oath for which he should make expiation." Then he recited:}There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allaah an excellent pattern.{]Quran 33:21[ ]Muslim[ ‘Aa‘ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said, "The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, took an oath not to have sexual intercourse with his wives. Afterwards, he made lawful what he had made unlawful )for himself(, and made expiation for his oath." ]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[




PUBLISHER " M_NajimudeeN "

Women site, - Rulings on Divorce - IV
























Thihaar
It is that a man says to his wife, "You are )unlawful( for me as is my mother." According to many scholars, the same is valid if the mention of the mother is replaced with the mention of anyone of his Mahrams )non-marriageable women( like his sister or daughter. Islam prohibits Thihaar. It makes a man’s wife unlawful for him, if it is effectuated, until he makes expiation for it. Thihaar is not considered divorce as it was during the pre-Islamic days, nor is it considered among the number of divorces. Rather, it is an oath by which a man’s wife becomes unlawful for him. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Those who pronounce Thihaar among you ]to separate[ from their wives - they are not ]consequently[ their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allaah is Pardoning and Forgiving. And those who pronounce Thihaar from their wives and then ]wish to[ go back on what they said - then ]there must be[ the freeing of a slave before they touch one another. That is what you are admonished thereby; and Allaah is Acquainted with what you do. And he who does not find ]a slave[ - then a fast for two months consecutively before they touch one another; and he who is unable - then the feeding of sixty poor persons.
That is for you to believe ]completely[ in Allaah and His Messenger; and those are the limits ]set by[ Allaah. And for the disbelievers is a painful punishment.{]Quran 58:2-4[
Khul‘
It is a right given to the wife who is unable to observe the right of Allaah The Almighty concerning her husband, due to dissention and disagreement between them. She should give back to her husband all that she has taken from him, unless he accepts from her less than what is due. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}But if you fear that they will not keep ]within[ the limits of Allaah, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself. These are the limits of Allaah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allaah - it is those who are the wrongdoers.{]Quran 2:229[
It is narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with them, that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ibn Shammaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, came to the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, "O Messenger of Allaah! I could not find any fault with his morals or religion. But I hate )the morals of( disbelief in Islam )i.e., she dislikes him and detests to live with him out of aversion she has towards him.(” The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to her:"Then, will you give him back his garden?"She answered in the affirmative, thereupon, the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said )to Thaabit, may Allaah be pleased with him(:"Accept the garden and divorce her once."]Al-Bukhaari and An-Nasaa‘i[
‘Iddah )Post-marriage waiting period(
It is a limited period of time which varies according to the different conditions of the woman, during which it is unlawful for her to marry. It begins from the very moment her husband leaves her, either by divorce, death, or the like. The women's different post-marriage waiting periods are:
1- The ‘Iddah of death: The woman whose husband dies and leaves her even without consummating the marriage with her should fulfill a post-marriage waiting period of four months and ten days, i.e. nearly 130 days, in compliance with the statement of Allaah The Almighty )what means(:}And those who are taken in death among you and leave wives behind - they, ]the wives, shall[ wait four months and ten ]days[.{]Quran 2:234[
The same applies to her, whose husband dies after consummating the marriage with her provided that she is not pregnant.
However, if she is pregnant, her ‘Iddah remains in effect until she gives birth. If separation is caused by both divorce and death, then, if the divorce is revocable, after which the husband dies, the woman should move )from the ‘Iddah of the divorced( to the ‘Iddah of such as whose husband dies, according to her condition whether or not she is pregnant.
2- The ‘Iddah of divorce and the annulment of marriage: If she is divorced before consummating the marriage, no ‘Iddah is due upon her. If she is divorced after consummating the marriage with her and she menstruates, her ‘Iddah is three menstruations, in compliance with the Aayah in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods.{]Quran 2:228[ However, if she does not menstruate, like a young girl, or the woman in the age of menopause, her ‘Iddah is three months in compliance with the Aayah )verse( in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women - if you doubt, then their period is three months, and ]also for[ those who have not menstruated.{]Quran 65:4[ If she is pregnant, the term of her ‘Iddah is until she gives birth, no matter how long or short the period might be as confirmed by Allaah The Almighty where He Says )what means(:}And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth.{]Quran 65:4[ If a woman who menstruates is divorced and then her menses cease for an unknown reason, her ‘Iddah is a whole year.
The child’s custody
The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave the right of the child’s custody, whether it is a male or female, to the mother so long as she does not get married. Ash-Shaafi’i, may Allaah have mercy upon him, estimated the period of custody of the male child until seven years. However, according to other scholars, there should be no particular age at which the custody terminates. But, what should be taken into consideration is the child's ability to become independent in terms of managing his affairs, and once he is able to do so, he should be in the care of his father. Others prolong the period of custody to the age of puberty. As for the female, she should wait with the mother until she reaches the age of puberty, after which she should be put under the care of her father. But, according to the Hanbali school of Fiqh )Islamic jurisprudence(, she should be put under the care of her father at the age of seven, in order for her to have more protection.
As for the ruling in case the child is in the age of discernment, it is debatable among the scholars of Fiqh. The Shaafi‘i scholars give the child the freedom to choose between his parents. But the Hanbali and Maaliki scholars were of a different opinion. According to those of the Hanbali school of Fiqh, in order for the freedom of choice to be valid, both parents should be legally competent for custody, the child should not be mentally ill, otherwise, he should be left with the mother or either of them who is qualified for custody. If the mother is religiously or physically incompetent for custody, it should be considered which among the child's relatives is more entitled to take custody of the child after her, according to the degree of kinship that preserves for the child his right of upbringing.
Charge for custody: As long as the woman who has custody receives financial maintenance during the term of ‘Iddah, she could not combine both maintenance and the charge for custody. However, when the term of the divorced woman's ‘Iddah is over and she receives no maintenance from the child's father, she then deserves charge for custody, for she performs a task in behalf of the child's father or guardian. This is in relation to the mother. But if the person who has custody is another woman, she should take charge for the services she performs. But, if she volunteers to do those services as a gift, her gift is valid, and her right of charge for custody lapses.
Conditions of custody: The woman entitled to the right of custody should have reached puberty, be of a sound mind, able to rear children, honest, well-mannered, and Muslim.




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