Women site, - Hidden Power in the PureDisposition – I

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We face a huge challenge when we bring up our children, that is, we are not alone in bringing them up but the whole society contributes to the process. Television, school, friends and the internet are all contributing to the upbringing process, particularly after the globe has become like a small village after the gigantic development in mass media and the fact that cultures can easily move from one place to another. This poses a huge challenge to the upbringing of our children. How shall we protect them from the other stormy trends of upbringing that are broadcast by the mass media and which spread by means of the street, school and clubs, from one to the other? Allaah The Almighty favored us by a power which helps us in the process of upbringing – it is a hidden power that no body knows except the one who appreciates it. It is, indeed, a gift from Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds.
This hidden power is the pure disposition that Allaah The Almighty created in mankind. No matter how man changes, this hidden power calls him to take him back to the path of truth. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. ]Adhere to[ the Fitrah of Allaah upon which He has created ]all[ people. No change should there be in the creation of Allaah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.{]Quran 30:30[ The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"Every human is born on Fitrah )sound innate inclination to the truth(."Ash-Shawkaani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, commented, "Every child is born with an inclination to the true religion, so if he adheres to another religion, this would be due to an external factor that happened to him after birth. The factors might be changes on the part of his parents or those responsible for raising him." Therefore, people assuming the upbringing process must be certain that any changes in the child's innate disposition are due to those who bring him up. That is because the child is like the whitest blank paper. Dr. ‘Abdullaah Naasih ‘Ulwaan says,
Educationists and moralists believe that the child is born with the natural inclination to Tawheed )Islamic monotheism( and faith in Allaah The Almighty, and with the origin of purity and innocence. Thus, when he is given a conscious upbringing at home, righteous social companionship and a faith-boosting educational environment, he will grow with firm faith, virtuous morals and a righteous upbringing. This faith-based fact was confirmed by the Quran and the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and was proved evident by educationists and moralists.
Sayyid Qutb, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, "Thus, the Surah )Qur'anic chapter( links human nature with the nature of this religion. Both are made by Allaah The Almighty, in accordance with the law of existence; both are mutually harmonious in their natures and objectives. Human nature is set on a firm basis, and so is the divine religion. When people deviate from the proper path of nature, only divine religion turns them back to it, since it is in full harmony with both the human and universal nature.
Pure disposition is a divine gift
This innate belief is a gift from Allaah The Almighty which helps and supports you in raising your child. It also serves as an internal call which permanently echoes in the heart of every Muslim, urging him to return to the path of truth. This call, no matter how distant man is from and disobedient to his Lord Allaah, keeps echoing loudly within his body and stimulates his reproaching soul, calling him, "Turn back to Allaah The Almighty."
Dear parent, or anyone assuming the responsibility of the upbringing process, you have an irresistible power called "the call of Fitrah )innate belief(" which:
- constitutes the inner call inside every person to do good and avoid evil
- stimulates man's reproaching soul when he does something evil
- stirs the inner feeling that death and resurrection are inevitable
- awakens man's conscience
Since Allaah The Almighty supported you with this power, your duty is only to provide a good role model and accustom your child to righteousness. By doing so, you are playing the greatest role in shaping, preparing and raising your child successfully. It is a trust you carry on your shoulders and you have to meet Allaah The Almighty successful in fulfilling it on the Day of Resurrection.
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, utilized the Companions' Fitrah
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, perfectly utilized the power of Fitrah with his noble Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them. He made it a basis for raising them on the immortal meanings of Islam. A very clear example is Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq, may Allaah be pleased with him, who is the most trustworthy man in this Ummah )nation(. The calls of the innate belief were blowing in his heart since an early age, implying, "These idols can neither bring about benefit nor inflict harm, and that Allaah The Almighty is One and the only Deity worthy of worship." Yet, he needed to see the role model that affirmed, venerated and strengthened this innate belief. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the best role model for him, and Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, was the first man to embrace Islam without hesitation. The reason was his innate belief.
Listen to Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, talking about his childhood and how his innate belief barred him from worshiping idols. In a group of the Companions of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,, Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, "I have never prostrated to an idol. When I became mature, Abu Quhaafah took me by hand and went to a site where idols were set up. He said to me, "These are your high and lofty gods," then he left me alone. I drew near to an idol and said: "I am hungry, feed me," but it did not reply. I said: "I am naked, clothe me," but it did not reply. So, I threw a stone at its face, and it collapsed."
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, utilized this innate belief that was firmly inculcated in the heart of Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, to introduce to Islam the most trustworthy man in this Ummah, his companion in the cave and his first successor.

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Women site, - Hidden Power in the PureDisposition - II

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See how the pure disposition was a strong reason for the guidance of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq, may Allaah be pleased with him. Also, look at ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, whose pure disposition prevented him from giving the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, some of the milk entrusted to him. He told the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, "I am a trusted boy." Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,
I was herding sheep for ‘Uqbah ibn Abu Mu‘ayt, and one day the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and Abu Bakr passed by me. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"O boy, do you have some milk for us to drink?"I said, "Yes, but I am entrusted to look after it." He said:"Do you have a ewe that has not been copulated by a ram )i.e. does not produce milk(?"I brought him a ewe and when he rubbed its udder, it produced milk. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, milked it and let Abu Bakr drink, then he said to the udder:"Shrink )i.e. stop producing milk(”, and it stopped. I said, "O Messenger of Allaah, teach me the like of what you said." He wiped my head and said:"May Allaah have mercy upon you! You are a knowledgeable boy."]Ibn Hibbaan[
In another narration, Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,
I went to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, "Teach me these good words." He said:"You are a knowledgeable boy."Later on, I learned from the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, himself seventy Surahs that no body disputes with me on." ]Ahmad[ ]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, took advantage of the pure innate belief of ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, who later became the best man from whom the Quran was learnt, and the man who brought the head of Abu Jahl the pharaoh of this Ummah )nation( to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
Thus, a child is a very white blank paper that you draw on with your own hands. You can utilize and invest this pure disposition in raising your child as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did or do the opposite. For that reason, Imaam Al-Ghazaali, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,
A child is a trust with his parents, and his pure heart is an intact jewel that has no inscriptions or drawings. The child's heart is susceptible to every inscription and is inclined to whatever is offered to it. If he gets used to and is taught goodness, he will grow on goodness and his parents, teachers and those who brought him up will be happy in this life and in the Hereafter. If he gets used to evil and is left like animals, he will be miserable and doomed, and the sin will be burdened on his guardian and those put in his charge.
Absence of sound upbringing affects the Fitrah
Man's pure disposition is badly affected when it lacks the appropriate atmosphere which helps it to develop and benefit from its power and impact on the child's upbringing. The pure disposition may be distorted as a result of the corrupt environment in which the child lives, the parents' negligence, and the children's integration with the other ways of upbringing in the society.
This happens when the role model does not play his role at home as an important means of upbringing, and thus, matters take the opposite direction; what is right becomes wrong and what is wrong becomes right. Nevertheless, man's pure disposition does not completely die and it is not meant to die; it searches for a role model in another place and a sincere source for upbringing. Once it finds that role model and source, it returns to the right path.
Raising a single child on Islam, like raising one thousand children or all children, requires the presence of the Muslim household, the Muslim street, the Muslim school and the Muslim society. All these factors together have a far-reaching impact on raising children and shaping them in their own fashion. They raise the children either upon constantly observing Islam or on deviation. We cannot overlook the impact of the child's temperament as well as the new and old habits inherited from the parents and family on forming his personality since he was born to them and influenced by them before the house, the street, the school or the society affected and molded him.
Once a sound upbringing is absent or the upbringing and guidance are corrupt, deviations resulting from hereditary factors take root instead of being corrected; and aggravate instead of being improved. Hence, people presume that heredity is dominant and critical in shaping the child's personality. However, it is not like that. This presumption may only be correct when inherited habits are left without guidance, exactly as everything aggravates and exacerbates when it is left free. It is not because it is strongly and violently incorporated in his nature; rather, it is because nothing hinders or trims it, and thus, it continues its way.
Ivy has the most delicate branches because it is a climbing plant and cannot support itself. This plant must depend on something to climb and grow on. How does this plant look when it is fully grown, and climbs on and intertwines with other things? It blocks the way and you can hardly pass through its branches.

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Women site, - Dispute and Arguments bring about Enmity

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In sessions, forums and dialogue, it is easy to observe people engaged in arguments, debate and disputes that may arouse discord and hostility. This is an evil and incurable characteristic that occupies many people.
Dispute is Part of Man's Nature
The Noble Quran clearly states that man is naturally argumentative, despite the evidence, arguments, proofs, clear signs and varied examples that he sees. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And We have certainly diversified in this Quran for the people from every ]kind of[ example; but man has ever been, most of anything, ]prone to[ dispute.{]Quran 18:54[
Two Types of Dispute
Disputes are either disliked or laudable. They can be commendable when they are intended to show the truth, to direct others or to call them to it. This is what Allaah The Almighty ordered the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to adopt. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
}Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is Most Knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is ]rightly[ guided.{]Quran 16:125[
}And do not argue with the People of the Scripture except in a way that is best, except for those who commit injustice among them, and say, “We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you. And our God and your God is One; and we are Muslims ]in submission[ to Him.”{]Quran 29:46[
In this respect the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Struggle against disbelievers with your money, souls and tongues.”
‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with them, debated with the Khawaarij )an extreme sect in Islam( at the time of ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, may Allaah be pleased with him, in compliance with the latter's order. Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him and his father, informed and educated them beyond the excuse of ignorance and then renounced them. Consequently, many of them renounced their religious innovations. That was an example of a praiseworthy argument that helps to show the truth with corroborative evidence.
Another kind of dispute, which is the subject of our discussion, depends on falsehood, and it has many forms:
Dispute to Conceal the Truth
Dispute may be used to suppress the light of truth and to distract people from it. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
}And indeed do the devils inspire their allies ]among men[ to dispute with you. And if you were to obey them, indeed, you would be associators ]of others with Him[.{]Quran 6:121[
}They disputed by ]using[ falsehood to ]attempt to[ invalidate thereby the truth. So I seized them, and how ]terrible[ was My Penalty.{]Quran 40:5[
}And among them are those who listen to you, but We have placed over their hearts coverings, lest they understand it, and in their ears deafness. And if they should see every sign, they will not believe in it. Even when they come to you arguing with you, those who disbelieve say, “This is not but legends of the former peoples.”{]Quran 6:25[
Arrogance is the motivation behind this sort of dispute – the arrogance that prevents people from accepting the truth and acting upon it. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Indeed, those who dispute concerning the Signs of Allaah without ]any[ authority having come to them - there is not within their breasts except pride, ]the extent of[ which they cannot reach. So seek refuge in Allaah. Indeed, it is He who is The Hearing, The Seeing.{]Quran 40:56[
This sort of dispute destroys, misleads, blinds and makes those who practice it losers on the Day of Resurrection. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
}And of the people is he who disputes about Allaah without knowledge and follows every rebellious devil. It has been decreed for every devil that whoever turns to him - he will misguide him and will lead him to the punishment of the Blaze.{]Quran 22:3-4[
}And of the people is he who disputes about Allaah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening book ]from Him[, twisting his neck ]in arrogance[ to mislead ]people[ from the way of Allaah. For him in the world is disgrace, and We will make him taste on the Day of Resurrection the punishment of the Burning Fire.{]Quran 22:8-9[
Dispute in Showing One's Merit and Belittling Others
This is a great evil that few people manage to avoid. It is the habit of many in their speaking as well as in their sessions and forums. This sort of dispute is aroused by a person’s feeling of superiority and intelligence, and his attempts to deprecate the opinions of others. This is a sign of deviation. The Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“No people have gone astray after the guidance they used to follow except because of their engagement in disputes.”Then he recited the verse )which means(:}They did not present the comparison except for ]mere[ argument. But, ]in fact[, they are a people prone to dispute.{]Quran 43:58[ ]Ibn Maajah, Al-Albaani - Hasan[
Allaah The Almighty does not like this kind of people. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The most hated person in the sight of Allaah is the most quarrelsome one.”]Al-Bukhaari[
People who build their arguments upon falsehood expose themselves to the wrath of Allaah The Exalted. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“If a person engages in a dispute based on falsehood while he knows that it is falsehood, he incurs the wrath of Allaah on himself until he stops.”]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Knowing that this sort of dispute is difficult for people to avoid, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, assured those who abandon it that they would thereby receive a magnificent reward; He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“I guarantee a palace on the outskirts of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he is right.”]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan[
These people are in grave danger, and their attitude indicates deviation in their hearts. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}It is He who has sent down to you, ]O Muhammad[, the Book; in it are verses ]that are[ precise - they are the foundation of the Book - and others unspecific. As for those in whose hearts is deviation ]from truth[, they will follow that of it which is unspecific, seeking discord and seeking an interpretation ]suitable to them[. And no one knows its ]true[ interpretation except Allaah. But those firm in knowledge say, “We believe in it. All ]of it[ is from our Lord.” And no one will be reminded except those of understanding.{]Quran 2:7[ The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, read this verse and said to one of his wives:“O ‘Aa`ishah, when you see those who dispute concerning the Quran, be sure that they are whom Allaah intended here; so beware of them.”]Ibn Maajah, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Dispute Makes People Lose Out on Good
This sort of dispute causes the loss of good. ‘Ubaadah ibn As-Saamit, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, “The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, once came out to inform us about the ]date of the[ Night of Al-Qadr. However, a quarrel took place between two Muslim men. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:‘I had come out to inform you about ]the date of[ the Night of Al-Qadr, but due to the quarrel that occurred between so and so, its knowledge was taken away, and maybe this is better for you. Now, look for it in the seventh, the ninth and the fifth ]of the last ten nights of the month of Ramadan[.’”]Al-Bukhaari[
As it leads to the loss of good and mars acts of worship, such disputes were declared impermissible. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Pilgrimage is ]during[ well-known months, so whoever had made Pilgrimage obligatory upon himself therein ]by entering the state of Ihraam[, there is ]to be for him[ no sexual relations and no disobedience and no disputing during Pilgrimage.{]Quran 2:197[
With regards to fasting, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“When any one of you is fasting, he must not have sexual relations…”and the wording that is narrated by Sa‘eed ibn Mansoor, may Allaah have mercy upon him, reads:“…He must not dispute.”
This form of dispute causes grudges and enmity among people.
Disputing for Usurping the Rights of Others
The most evil form of all is disputing to usurp the rights of others. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“I am merely a human being, and you ]disputants[ come to me with your cases. Someone may present his case eloquently and in a more convincing way than another. I give my verdict according to what I hear. So if ever I judge ]by error[ and give the right of a brother to his other ]brother[, then he ]the latter[ should not take it, for I am giving him only a piece of the Fire.”]Al-Bukhaari[
A person from Hadhramawt and another from Kindah once came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. The one who came from Hadhramawt said, “O Messenger of Allaah, this man has appropriated a land which belonged to my father.” The one who came from Kindah said, “The land is mine and it is in my possession. I cultivate it and he has no right to it.” The Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to the Hadhramite:“Do you have any evidence ]to support you[?”He replied in the negative. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Your case is then to be decided by his oath.”The Hadhramite said, “O Messenger of Allaah, he is a liar and cares not what he swears and has no regard for anything.” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, remarked:“You have no right to demand anything from him except that ]which you stated[.”The man from Kindah then set out to take an oath. When he left the Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“If he has taken an oath on his property to consume it unjustly, he will certainly meet Allaah while He is turning away from ]i.e., shunning[ him.”]Al-Bukhaari[
The Righteous Predecessors Warned Against Dispute
As disputes that are based on falsehood or not based on evidence result in such previously-mentioned harms, the righteous warned against disputes and advised us to avoid them. The following are some reported citations in this regard.
Prophet Sulaymaan )Solomon(, may Allaah exalt his mention, said to one of his sons, “Avoid dispute, for it is of little benefit, and it stirs enmity among brothers.”
Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him and his father, said, “What a sinful action it is for you to be disputant.”
Al-Awzaa‘i, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “If Allaah The Almighty wants evil to befall some people, He keeps them in continuous dispute and makes them stop doing ]good deeds[.”
Muhammad ibn Husayn ibn ‘Ali, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “Dispute erases one's religion and implants enmity among people.”
‘Abdullaah ibn Al-Hasan ibn Al-Husayn, may Allaah have mercy upon him, was asked, “What do you think of dispute?” He replied, “It spoils old friendship and severs firm relations. It is at the very least a means of overpowering others in argument, which is the strongest cause for the severance of relations.”
Ash-Shaafi'i, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “Dispute in religion hardens hearts and causes grudges.”
In the past, it was said, “Do not dispute with either a forbearing or a foolish person - the former will overcome you and the latter will harm you.”
O Allaah, keep us away from dispute and the disputant, and help us to be upright, and do not let our hearts deviate after You have guided us.

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