For children, - Perseverance in Islam 11

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my
Spirituality...I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. God, I said. Can
you give me one good reason not to quit His answer surprised me...
Look around, God said. Do you see the fern and the bamboo? Yes, I replied.
When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of
them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from
the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came
from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew
more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo
seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
God said, in the third year there was still nothing from the bamboo
seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing
from the bamboo seed. I would not quit.
God said, and then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the
earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and
insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100
feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I
would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.
God said to me, did you know, my creation, that all this time you have
been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not
quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.
Don't compare yourself to others. God said, the bamboo had a different
purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful. Your
time will come, God said to me. You will rise high.
I left the forest and bring back this story. I hope these words can
help you see that God will never give up on you. God will never give
up on you!
Moral:In life never lose hope and never give up or quit in life and
Success will come to you later in life.

For children, - Perseverance in Islam 1

Tamerlane! Amir Timur was a great Mongolian King and great great
grandfather of Babur, the founder of the Mughal Dynastyin India. He
was one of the bravest and greatest warriors born in present
Uzbekistan. He had conquered nearly half of the world known at that
time. His courage was great. Amir Taimur, was someone who was so firm
and unfaltering in every predicament, that he did not cower from any
misfortune. He learnt from an Ant not to loose courage. He tells his
own story as follows.
Once he was fighting a battle. He was defeated. He had to run away to
the mountains to save his life. He hid himself in a safe place. Tired
and hungry he sat at one place quietly watching little things around
him. He noticed an Ant working. The Ant was carrying a grain of rice
much bigger than itself. With this load the Ant tried to climb up a
wall. The grain fell down. The Ant came down and lifted the grain once
again. It started to climb the wall. Again the grain fell down and
again it went down to try. The Ant did not loose courage. It tried
again and again. The King tells us that the Ant tried thirty three
times until it succeeded in taking the grain up the wall. The King
learnt a lesson. Man looses courage. He was weak. He must grow strong.
I said to myself: O' Taimur! You are by no means inferior to an Ant.
Arise and get back to work. So heartened, he went about collecting his
run-away soldiers and officers. He rebuilt his army. He fought yet
another battle. He won. Thereafter, one success after another came to
him. He had learnt not to loose courage. He continued to battle until
he became a great King.
Constant effort is the key to success. Ants know their lesson. Men
have to learn. Never loose courage. Islam teaches true values of life.
It teaches human beings not to despair. Each one must try harder and
achieve greater results in life.
Noble Qur'an teaches: "And that there is nothing for man except what
he tried, His efforts shall be seen. And rewarded to fullest extent."
(Sura An-Najm 53:39-41)
Moral:Falling down is not defeat...defeat is when you refuse to get up...

Sex in Islam, - Dealing With Premature Release

In my line of work, I often get asked by people what my most
frequently asked question is. This is easy -- it is by far "How do I
solve my premature ejaculation problems?" This week, we will look at
ways to cure this problem that plagues many men.
According to University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, lead
author of a comprehensive new US sex study, 31% of men and 43% of
women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction.
The study, published last year in the Journal of the American Medical
Association, was based on data from the 1992 National Health and
Social Life Survey, a collection of interviews with 1,749 women and
1,410 men aged 18 to 59.
One-third of men said they had recurring problems with climaxing too
early, 14 percent said they had no interest in sex and 8 percent said
they regularly experienced no pleasure from sex.
Women, on the other hand, were a different story. A third said they
regularly didn't want sex, 26 percent said they regularly didn't reach
orgasm and 23 percent said sex was not pleasurable.
Same Causes
In both sexes, these problems were attributed to emotional and stress
problems including poor health, poor quality of life and prior
traumatic sexual experiences.
Although premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction,
it is very difficult for men to discuss. A man who can't get it up or
keep it up, understandably feels like less of a man. However, it
should not be this way. If more men were willing to talk about their
problem, it would be easier to accept, knowing that they are not
alone.
Often, men are not sure what is considered premature ejaculation. The
average male takes less than 3 minutes from the time of insertion till
he ejaculates.
According to the technical definition, it is ejaculation that occurs
prior to when a man wishes, or too quickly during intercourse to
satisfy the partner. This usually leads to the loss of a usable
erection for the simple reason that their discharge has temporarily
released a state of elevated sexual tension.
Although the complaint is usually stated in terms of time, this is
because it is the only way to measure and compare. The issue, however,
is really about control of the ejaculatory process and releasing when
you feel ready. Men are usually more upset about the lack of a vote or
influence over when they ejaculate.
One man might feel proud to last ten minutes, while this may be too
short for another. Like the saying goes,one man's trash is another
man's treasure.
Learned Behavior
From the point of view of reproduction, early release is not a major
problem. Lasting longer in bed serves no known genetic function. It is
something that we must learn to do, as opposed to being innate.
First, one must understand what is happening to his body when he
ejaculates. Orgasm consists of two stages. The first begins with the
prostate gland, which encircles the urethra like a tiny donut above
the base of the penis. This contracts and releases its fluids, along
with the contents of the seminal vesicle, into the urethra.
The second phase occurs when the pelvic muscle contracts strongly
around the bulb, forcing the fluid out under considerable pressure.
Men should be aware that it is possible to ejaculate without having an
orgasm and vice versa.
Therapy Helps
The good news is that this is a problem that is highly curable,
providing the man is willing to get help and invest the time and
effort needed. It is believed that 80-90% of men are able to learn
better control through therapy.
The first step to lasting longer is to become familiar with one's
self. Be comfortable with your body, its sensations and the feelings
leading up to orgasm. You should learn and be able to predict when the
orgasm will occur. This will prevent it from creeping up on you and
taking you by surprise. This will also help you do what is necessary
to prevent you from reaching that "point of no return."
The "stop and start" method involves bringing yourself just before the
point of no return, and stopping all movement before it is too late.
When the urgency to ejaculate subsides, start thrusting again, and
repeat several times.
This can also be practiced using your partner's hand, mouth or even by
yourself. It may require some trial and error, as you may pass that
point accidentally.
Breathe In, Breathe Out
Many people are not aware of it, but proper breathing can help develop
ejaculatory control. This is because taking a few deep breaths can
help you relax and calm the arousal and tension that leads to quick
ejaculations. Practice deep, easy, relaxed breathing and relax your
entire body.
Communication is another key to long-lasting sex. Let your partner
know when you are getting close and what you can and cannot handle.
This will involve the use of actual words, since non-verbal cues are
easily misunderstood. "Stop," "Hold it," "Start," and "More," are
obvious choices and anything else that's short and clear, is
acceptable.
Other causes of premature ejaculation are anxiety, fear or discomfort
with your partner. Premature ejaculation is less likely to occur if
the couple knows each other well; feels comfortable with one another;
both partners are consenting; in a comfortable, relaxed and private
setting; and after contraception issues have been discussed.
Many men can also last longer the second time around, so perhaps this
can be incorporated into your love-making. If round one is short,
please her with some extended foreplay using your mouth, or with an
erotic massage during half-time until your soldier is ready for battle
once again.
Dream Cream
Desensitizing creams lessen the sensations felt by men during
intercourse so that they can last longer. The problem that many men
feel is that these creams make intercourse less pleasurable due to the
decreased stimulation.
Condoms reduce the amount of stimulation experienced during sex. Many
men find that a condom makes them last longer because of the decreased
stimulation. As you all know, condoms provide the best protection
against STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and pregnancy, so they
have added benefits.
The position of lovemaking may also affect a man's ability to last in
bed. The 'missionary' position, with the man on top, is not the best
position while attempting to control ejaculation. All men, however,
are different and some men find it harder to hold themselves when
their partner is in control.
Experiment and vary the positions according to what allows you to
control yourself better.
Pump It Up!
Finally, strong, well developed pelvic muscles will allow you better
control and make you more aware of what is happening in your nether
regions. Pelvic floor muscles are the ones used to stop and start
urination. Hold the muscles for three seconds, relax for three
seconds, and repeat ten times.
You can do this at anytime and in anyplace. Eventually, you should be
able to work your way up to 100 ten-second contractions per day.
Premature ejaculation can be easily countered with patience, effort
and knowledge. Informing yourself is the first step, and once you know
about the problem, you are halfway there. Overcoming the mental and
physical aspects of this problems are also much easier if both
partners are involved, aware of the situation and open to discuss it.
Once again, communication will be your strongest asset. Good luck to
you all, and the questions and answers will return next week.

Sex in Islam, - Dealing With Impotence: I Just Can't Get It Up!

Dinner was delicious, kissing was malicious, her scent was inviting,
and the foreplay was exciting. But when it came time to show her who
the man was, the little soldier stayed in hiding.
There comes a time in a man's life where he must face up to the fact
that his best friend will let him down. This is probably the time in a
man's life where his self-esteem is most vulnerable.
Impotence
When just a single incident occurs, the best thing to do is forget
about it. There is no reason for a man to worry about something that
almost all men experience a few times in their lives.
Problems arise when this difficulty starts occurring regularly. Men
afflicted with repeated impotence tend to be middle-aged and older,
with a condition most common in men 60 years of age and older.
Regardless of the age, many men who have this problem can be treated
successfully.
Causes of dysfunction
Impotence results from a wide variety of problems. As with any other
ailment, when a person begins having this problem repeatedly, he needs
to see a doctor. The doctor will want to rule out the possibility of
disease, injury, or side effects from medicine.
There are two basic causes of impotence:
*.Effects related to physically related diseases (Drugs and Diabetes).
*.Psychological
It is estimated that 50-60% of diabetic men have erectile dysfunction.
For diabetics, attention must be paid to a diabetic neuropathy - the
loss of vibratory sensations of the lower extremities.
Bladder dysfunction is correlated with erectile dysfunction.
Parkinson's disease and temporal lobe abnormalities are contributing
factors too. Men suffering from stroke and alcoholism are at very high
risk because of damage to the testicles in chronic alcoholism and the
loss of testosterone.
Aging is a tremendous factor in erectile dysfunction, often related to
a decrease in male hormones. Chronic renal insufficiency is another
potential cause. Many drugs used to treat high blood pressure that
comes with chronic renal insufficiency can cause erectile dysfunction,
and many drugs by themselves cause it.
Recreational drugs are a major cause of erection problems. The number
one drug is tobacco. Experiments show that even two cigarettes will
markedly decrease the blood flow to the penis if smoked before sex.
Marijuana and alcohol are also big causes of erection problems.
Prescription drugs are also a big culprit, especially those used for
treatment of high blood pressure. The major problem drugs include:
*.Estrogen: for men with prostate cancer.
*.Antiandrogens (flutamide): for men with prostate cancer.
*.Lupron: prostate cancer drug.
*.Proscar: for men with enlarged prostates, can decrease the volume of
ejaculate.
*.Diuretics: for men with heart disease and hypertension.
*.Methyldopa: older treatment for blood pressure.
*.Beta blockers: for heart disease and hypertension.
*.Calcium Channel Blockers: new treatments for hypertension.
*.Tranquilizers.
*.Decongestants.
*.Seizure Medications.
*.Drugs to lower Cholesterol.
*.Cimetidine: a drug for ulcers.
*.Digoxin- a drug for heart failure.
Note:DO NOT DISCONTINUE use of prescription drugs without first
verifying with your doctor.
Treatment options
Today's medical advancements have allowed successful treatments of
impotence through a variety of alternatives. A man and his partner no
longer have to deal with the void of sexual displeasures. A man that
suffers from repetitive erection loss should consult a specialist.
In general, the specialist will conduct a physical examination and
laboratory investigation. This will allow him to get a good handle on
the diagnosis, at which point he will proceed to explore the various
treatment options. The question is how should a man with erectile
dysfunction be treated in an era of vacuum pumps, penile injections,
medications and prostheses? You should consult your doctor for advice
on which treatment is best for you.
The treatment options should be specific towards the patient, his
partner, and what he wants to do about it. There are a couple of
factors that are considered when recommending a treatment. Some of
them are:
*.The patient's age.
*.The total health status.
*.Does the patient have good functioning of his lower and upper extremities?
*.Does this patient have numerous sexual partners?
*.Is the patient's partner involved in the decision making process?
*.What are the goals of the therapy?
Finding a specialist
The best way to find an impotence specialist is to look for a board
certified Urologist with an interest or additional training in
impotence. Usually, after identifying a Urologist in your area, a call
to the office will help you decide if the physician has the interest
and compassion to treat the problem.
It is important that you feel comfortable and trust your Urologist, so
don't be intimidated to ask to speak to the doctor to see if the "fit"
is right. Always ask about credentials and if the physician regularly
attends conferences to keep up on the changes. Usually, a physician
who is involved in clinical research is on the cutting edge. Here are
a couple of resources:
*.(Readers in the USA can call) Impotence Anonymous and I-ANON. Call
1-800-669-1603 for information on local support groups. Call
1-800-867-7042 for names of physicians in your area who have a special
interest in treating impotence.
*.In general, the local hospital or clinic will have a listing of the
support groups that can best provide the right sources to help the
individual suffering from impotence.
a little tip...
If your woman gives you the third degree for your erectile
dysfunction, play reverse psychology and ask her, "Why can't you get
it up for me?". Switching the roles will allow her to understand how
it feels to have her self-esteem attacked. Don't be condescending in
the process, but let her understand how you feel.