Women site, - The Dayyooth is deprivedof Paradise

The purifiedSharee'ahof Islam encourages good manners and forbids bad
ones owing to the harm that affects individuals and societies when bad
manners prevail.
The IslamicSharee'ahcame to guard the purity of progenies and to
protect people's honor against anything that would soil or transgress
them. Therefore, it sets the severest forms of punishment for anyone
who thinks of violating the honor of others. Allaah The Almighty Says
)what means(:}The ]unmarried[ woman or ]unmarried[ man found guilty of
sexual intercourse - lash each one of them with a hundred lashes, and
do not be taken by pity for them in the religion of Allaah...{]Quran
24:2[
This punishment is applied to unmarried persons. Married adulterers,
however, receive the punishment of stoning to death under
theSharee'ah. The IslamicSharee'ahalso prohibits marrying a person who
is known for practicing illegal sexual intercourse. Allaah The
Almighty Says )what means(:}The fornicator does not marry except a
]female[ fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a
fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the
believers.{]Quran 24:3[
Not only does theSharee'ahdo so, but it also raises the status of
guarding honor so high that a person who is killed in defense of his
honor will gain the degree of a martyr. The Prophet,sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"A person who is killed in defense of his
honor is a martyr."
Moreover, theSharee'ahbrings up its adherents on being protectively
jealous about their honor: The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said about this attribute in a Companion of his:"Do you wonder at
Sa'd's jealousy? By Allaah, I am more jealous than him, and Allaah Is
more jealous than me..."
Indeed, there is no good in a person who has no protective jealousy,
for such a person moves towards Hell and distances himself from
Paradise. He also makes his honor vulnerable to assault from anybody.
This is the, who is he who does not feel jealous when his honor is
violated and who overlooks the indecency and immoral behavior of his
family while he knows that it is wrong to do so. By doing this, he
exposes himself to disgrace and humiliation.
Arabs and especially Muslims still venerate matters of honor. They
respect the person who defends his honor and female family members,
even if this means that he sacrifices his life and wealth. They guard
their honor with whatever wealth they may have, for there is no value
of any wealth when honor is lost. Moreover, if a person disregards
this, he will be worthless in this world and in the Hereafter, and
will be away from Allaah The Almighty. The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi
wa sallam, said:"Allaah The Almighty will not look at three persons on
the Day of Resurrection: a person who is undutiful to his parents; a
masculine woman; and the Dayyooth."]Saheeh[
This incurable disease does not afflict anyone but the person who
lacks a sense of honor and jealousy and whose faith is weak. He does
not care about non-Mahram)i.e., marriageable( men visiting his
womenfolk, intermixing with them, or them appearing unveiled before
them.
In fact, a person would be utterly shocked at seeing such "men" buying
clothes for their women that reveal more than they cover, or clothes
that are transparent and display the charms of the body. They are
happy that people look at the 'Awrah)nakedness( of their wives or the
women whom Allaah has made them responsible for. They boast of their
liberation from decency and virtue, and behave immorally and
indecently. Such a man is a corpse in the guise of a living person.
Al-Ghazaali, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,"If a person lacks
proper manly fervor, he is unlikely to react appropriately towards any
assault against his womenfolk or wife. He will submissively bear
humiliation from evil people and will have low self-esteem. This may
cause such a person to lack any feeling of protective jealousy
regarding his womenfolk. In this case, his offspring may become
adulterated. Therefore it is said: 'Once protective jealousy dies down
in the men of a particular nation, the chastity of its women will be
weakened.'"
Ath-Thahabi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,"A man who realizes
immorality in his wife and ignores it because he loves her, or because
he owes her money that he is unable to pay back, or because he owes
her a large dowry, or because he has young children from her, then
there will be no good in him for he lacks jealousy. A person who
possesses this attitude is the Dayyooth."
The Mass Media Encourages the
People may think that the mass media shape the Muslim's personality in
an upright manner, but the reality is the opposite. It is in fact one
of the greatest encouragers of theDayyoothand a destroyer of
protective jealousy. It broadcasts immoral pornographic scenes,
obscene advertisements and lewd songs. It beautifies such dissolute
men and women and presents them as examples. Women even chant their
love of a specific actor or singer in front of their husbands, fathers
and brothers, who have no reaction at all. In some media programs, a
married woman or a girl may call to express her love and adoration of
the actor, paying no attention to the reaction of her male relatives,
perhaps, because she is certain they will not object.

Women site, - O Parents! You Cannot Build Without a Model - I

Dear educator, you cannot build without a model as your child imitates
you and follows your steps literally.
Hence, when we speak about building faith, we have to speak about a
faith-boosting example first. Likewise, when we speak about building
the child's morals, first we have to speak about the moral role model.
When we speak about sacrificing for the sake of Islam, then we have to
speak first about the example, because this is the only way to get
things right.
Allaah The Exalted Says )what means(:
•}There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allaah an
excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allaah and the Last Day
and ]who[ remembers Allaah often.{]Quran 33:21[
•}There has certainly been for you in them an excellent pattern for
anyone whose hope is in Allaah and the Last Day. And whoever turns
away - then indeed, Allaah Is The Free of need, The
Praiseworthy.{]Quran 60:6[
Scientists say that children learn through imitation, since their
ability to observe and imitate during this stage is wonderful.
Scientists even describe it as a formation process in accordance
with an example followed by the child. Children learn speech through
imitation, listening and observation. They also acquire their
tendencies in life and learn the values and the right to choose, as
well as their traditions. In other words, children learn from the
behavior of those who are around them. Therefore, we )educators and
parents( should be more careful about what we do and what we say
because we are the role models for our children.
If the children lose the role model represented in their parents or
educators, then teaching will be of no use and all our efforts to have
a righteous generation from those children will be in vain. The reason
is simple: they see that our words and actions are not the same.
Values cannot be imposed on children, but good example is the only
thing that can attract them to these values.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And the good land - its
vegetation emerges by permission of its Lord; but that which is bad -
nothing emerges except sparsely, with difficulty. Thus do We diversify
the signs for a people who are grateful.{]Quran 7:58[
Good example does not mean mere words; rather, it comprises good
behavior and actions. If you want to attach your child to the mosque
or the Quran, first you have to be attached to them.
If you want to make your child observe Thikr )remembrance(, then you
should make frequent Thikr yourself.
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, attaches Ibn 'Abbaas to worship:
Ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,
"I came to the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, at
the end of the night and prayed behind him. He took my hand and drew
me to stand in line with him, and when the Messenger of Allaah,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, turned back to his prayer, I took a
step backwards. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, prayed, and when he had finished his prayer, he said to
me:'What is the matter? I made you stand in line with me, then you
took a step backwards!'I said, 'O Messenger of Allaah, is it right for
anyone to pray in line with you when you are the Messenger of Allaah
to whom Allaah The Almighty has given such a high status?' He was
pleased with me and supplicated Allaah The Almighty to bestow more
understanding and knowledge upon me."
He added, "I saw the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, sleeping
until he was breathing deeply. Then Bilaal, may Allaah be pleased with
him, came and told him that prayer had started. So, he went out and
prayed without making ablution again." ]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
Ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,
"One day, I was riding behind the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, when he said:'O boy! I will teach you some words. Be watchful
of Allaah )commandments of Allaah The Almighty(, He will preserve you.
Safeguard His rights and He will be ever with you. If you beg, beg of
Him alone; and if you need assistance, supplicate Allaah alone for
help. Remember that if all people gather to benefit you, they will not
be able to benefit you except with that which Allaah has written )for
you(; and if all of them gather to do harm to you, they will not be
able to afflict you with anything other than that which Allaah has
written against you. The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried
up."]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
This is what the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, did with
'Abdullaah ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him. He did not
tell him to wake up and pray, but he started praying and then took
'Abdullaah, may Allaah be pleased with him, beside him. In other
words, the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, provided the good
)and the greatest( example that taught the Habr ]Senior Scholar[ of
the Ummah )Muslim nation(, i. e., Ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased
with him(.
The importance of the "theory of attaching":
We saw how the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, led his
Companions through good example and how this good example affected
their personalities magnificently until we saw many of them as good
memorizers of the Quran and brave fighters in the cause of Allaah The
Exalted.
This proves that we should adopt the theory of attaching in
upbringing, because this theory is the practical interpretation of
"upbringing through example".
The attaching theory means linking the child to a true role model who
applies the morals to which we want to accustom our child. That is why
the righteous educator is very important and precious.
The righteous predecessors and Muslim kings used to bring educators to
their children and they used to choose the educators who were fit to
be role models for their children.
In his Muqaddimah, Ibn Khuldoon, may Allaah have mercy upon him, reported,
Haaroon Ar-Rasheed said to the educator of his son, Muhammad Al-Ameen,
'O Ahmad, the Commander of the Believers is entrusting )his son( to
you, the life of his soul and the fruit of his heart. Take firm hold
of him and make him obey you. Occupy in relation to him the place that
the Commander of the Believers has given you. Teach him to recite the
Quran. Instruct him in history. Let him transmit poems and teach him
the Sunnah )tradition( of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.
Give him insight into the proper occasions for speech and how to begin
)a speech(. Forbid him from laughing, except at times when it is
proper. Let no hour pass in which you do not seize the opportunity to
teach him something useful. However, do so without vexing him so as
not to kill his mind. Do not always be too lenient with him, or he
will get to like leisure and become used to it. As much as possible,
correct him kindly and gently. If he does not respond that way, you
must then use severity and harshness.'
'Abdul-Malik ibn Marwaan advised the educator of his children saying,
"Teach them to tell the truth just as you teach them the Quran and
accustom them to beautiful morals. Make them memorize poetry to be
brave and noble. Accompany them to the noble people and senior
scholars, but keep them away from the mean people and slaves, because
they are the most ill-mannered of all people. Respect them in public
and censure them in private. Beat them if they lie, because lying
leads to vice and vice leads to Hell."

Women site, - O Parents! You Cannot Build Without a Model - II

Dr. 'Ali Hassoon spoke about the upbringing of Sultan Muhammad Al-Faatih saying,
Since his succession to the throne of the Ottoman Empire in 855 A.H.
)1451 CE(, he was looking forward to the conquest of Constantinople
and thinking about it. He was raised by scholars who instilled love
for Islam in him and taught him how to adhere to the Quran and the
Sunnah )tradition(. So, he grew up with a strong love for Sharee'ah
)Islamic legislation(, adherence to piety, reverence for scholars and
affection for spreading knowledge. His sublime religiousness was due
to the religious upbringing that he received since his early childhood
in accordance with the directions of his father and with the help of a
number of senior scholars who supervised his education and upbringing.
Muhammad Al-Faatih was influenced by the righteous scholars since his
early childhood, particularly the senior righteous scholar, Ahmad ibn
Ismaa'eel Al-Kooraani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, who was known
for his virtue. This righteous man was the greatest teacher of
Muhammad Al-Faatih during his father's reign.
At that time, Muhammad Al-Faatih was the ruler of Magnesia, and his
father sent him a number of educators and teachers. However, he
disobeyed them and refused to let them teach him anything. He did not
even memorize the whole Quran. So, his father asked for a man with
gravity and seriousness and they told him about Al-Kooraani, may
Allaah have mercy upon him. Hence, he appointed him as the teacher of
his son and gave him a stick to beat Muhammad if he disobeyed him.
Al-Kooraani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, went to Muhammad with the
stick in his hand, and said, "Your father sent me to teach you and
beat you if you disobey me." Muhammad Al-Faatih laughed much when he
heard this, but Al-Koorani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, beat him
severely until he showed due respect for him and started memorizing
the Quran until he completed it within a short period.
This great leader was educated and brought up by scholars who provided
him with a true Islamic upbringing. Those revered educators used to
tear up the decrees of the Sultan if it contained anything that
contradicted the rulings of Sharee'ah )Islamic legislation(. They used
to address the rulers with their names. They never bowed before the
rulers or kissed their hands; on the contrary, the rulers used to kiss
their hands. Hence, it is not strange for such educators to graduate a
great leader like Muhammad Al-Faatih, who was a religious Muslim who
complied with the rulings of Sharee'ah and glorified it. He was a
righteous and pious ruler who consulted the scholars and asked them to
supplicate for him.
Dear educator, consider this extraordinary example Muhammad Al-Faatih,
who conquered Constantinople, and how his father brought him up in
accordance with this influential theory.
He attached him to the righteous scholar, who taught him the Quran.
Interestingly, Al-Kooraani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, was not
the only influential scholar in the life of Muhammad Al-Faatih, but
there was another scholar )Aaq Shams Ad-Deen, may Allaah have mercy
upon him( who drew the attention of Muhammad Al-Faatih to conquer
Constantinople.
Sahl ibn 'Abdullaah At-Tustari learns from his uncle:
Al-Ghazaali reported that Sahl, May Allaah Have mercy upon them both, said,
I was three years old when I used to wake up at night to watch the
prayer of my uncle Muhammad ibn Siwaar. One day, he said to me,
"Should not you remember Allaah The Almighty who created you?" I said,
"How should I remember Him?" He replied, "Say in your heart, whenever
you are alone at night in your bed rolling from side to side, three
times without moving your tongue: Allaah is with me, Allaah is
Looking at me, Allaah is Watching me."
I did that and informed my uncle.
"Say the words seven times each night," he said to me.
I did that and informed him.
"Say them eleven times." I did that and found sweetness in my heart
therefrom. A year passed. Then my uncle said, "Remember what I taught
you and continue that practice until you go to the grave. The fruits
thereof will be yours in this world and the Hereafter."
Years passed, and I used the same words until their sweetness
penetrated the depths of my heart.
"Sahl," said my uncle, "As long as Allaah is with you and Sees you,
how can you disobey Him? Beware of disobeying Him."
Through this good instruction, guidance, and continuous training as
well as this religious upbringing, Sahl, may Allaah have mercy upon
him, became one of the senior righteous worshippers in the history of
Islam.
Finally, dear educator, you must be sure that the child who sees his
father lying can never learn truthfulness, and the child who sees his
mother cheating his father or his brother, will never be honest. The
child, who sees that his mother is heedless, will not learn
cooperation or adhere to discipline.
The family is the incubator that sows the early seeds of morals and
behavior in the child and shapes his emotions and feelings through the
behavior of its members.

Dought & clear, - There is nothing wrong with using the expression “by chance”.

Is it permissible to use the expression "by chance", such as saying,
"I went to the market and I met So and so by chance"?
Is this phrase "by chance" haraam or does it constitute shirk
(associating others with Allaah)? What should I say instead of this?
Please advise me, may Allaah reward you with good.
Praise be to Allaah.
There is nothing wrong with using the phrase "by chance," because what
the speaker means is that he met that person without a prior agreement
to meet, and without intending to do so; he does not mean that this
meeting happened without the decree of Allaah.
The use of this expression (sudfatanin Arabic) is mentioned in some
ahaadeeth, such as that narrated by Muslim (2144) from Anas who said:
I set out with him (i.e., with 'Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Talhah) to go to
the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
and we met him by chance and he was carrying a branding iron…
Abu Dawood (142) narrated that Laqeet ibn Sabrah said: I came among
the delegation of Banu'l-Muntafiq to the Messenger of Allaah(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him). When we came to the Messenger of
Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) it so happened that
we did not find him in his house but by chance 'Aa'ishah the Mother of
the Believers was there…. This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah(3/393):
The expression used by many people, "I met So and so by chance" etc is
not haraam and does not constitute shirk, because what is meant is
meeting him without a prior appointment or agreement to meet, for
example, and there is nothing wrong with this meaning.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen was asked: What is your opinion on using the
expression "by chance"?
He replied:
We think that there is nothing wrong with this expression. This is a
customary expression which is mentioned in several ahaadeeth: We met
the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) by
chance, etc.
With regard to people's actions, things do happen by chance, because
people have no knowledge of the Unseen and a thing may happen without
a person realizing it or doing the things that lead to it or expecting
it. But with regard to the actions of Allaah, this is not the case,
for everything is known to Allaah and everything is decreed by Him.
With regard to Him nothing ever happens by chance, but with regard to
you and me, we may meet without prior arrangement and without
realizing or planning it. This is what we call chance, and there is
nothing wrong with that. But with regard to the actions of Allaah,
this word cannot be used.