Dought & clear, - Is one’s life partner chosen by oneself or decreed by Allaah?.

What does Islam say about life partner,,,is she/he fixed by Allah or
Allah has left it for us to decided?
Praise be to Allaah.
First of all, we should realize that there is no contradiction between
our belief that Allaah has decreed everything, and our belief that He
has given us free will which enables us to do things. Confirming the
free will of His slaves, Allaah says )interpretation of the meaning(:
"To whomsoever among you wills to walk straight" ]al-Takweer 81:28[
Our will operates within the will of Allaah, not outside of it, as
Allaah says )interpretation of the meaning(: "But you cannot will,
unless Allaah wills…" ]al-Insaan 76:30[ Thus it is not permitted to
try to cancel one idea out with the other, or to deny either of them.
Allaah has confirmed both, that man has the power to choose, and that
nothing can operate outside of His Will, may He be glorified.
If we apply this to the question asked, we will see that man has
freedom of will through which he can choose whichever woman he wishes
to marry, and that whatever choice he makes has already been decreed
by Allaah. The man's choice is the means by which he gets what he
wants, but some obstacles may come between the person and what he
wants, in which case he will realize that Allaah has not decreed this
for him, for some reason which is known to Him. Everything that Allaah
does is good, and His slaves do not have knowledge of the Unseen or of
how things will end. A person may regret missing out on something when
it is good that he did not have it, or he may hate something that
happens to him when it is good that it happened to him, as Allaah
tells us )interpretation of the meaning(: "… it may be that you
dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which
is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know." ]al-Baqarah 2:216[
May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

For children, - Hereafter Preparation: Clever King Story, a Real Life Story

There was a country long time ago where the people would change a king
every year. The person who would become the king had to agree to a
contract that he would be sent to an island after his one year of
being a king.
One king finished his term and it was time for him to go to the island
and live there. The people dressed him up in expensive clothes and put
him on an elephant and took him around the cities to say goodbye to
all the people. This was the moment of sadness for all the kings who
ruled for one year. After saying farewell, the people took the king
with a boat to the remote island and left him there.
On their way back, they discovered a ship that had sunk just recently.
They saw a young man who survived by holding on to a floating piece of
wood. As they needed a new king, they picked up the young man and took
him to their country. They requested him to be a king for a year.
First he refused but later he agreed to be a king. People told him
about all the rules and regulations and that how he will be sent to an
island after one year.
After three days of being a king, he asked the ministers if they could
show him the island where all the other kings were sent. They agreed
and took him to the island. The island was covered with thick jungles
and sounds of vicious animals were heard coming out of them. The king
went little bit inside to check. Soon he discovered the dead bodies of
all the past kings. He understood that as soon as they were left in
the island, the animals came and killed them.
The king went back to the country and collected 100 strong workers. He
took them to the island and instructed them to clean the jungle,
remove all the deadly animals and cut down all the excess trees. He
would visit the island every month to see how the work was
progressing. In the first month, all the animals were removed and many
trees were cut down. In the second month, the whole island was cleaned
out. The king then told the workers to plant gardens in various parts
of the island. He also took with himself useful animals like chickens,
ducks, birds, goats, cows etc. In the third month, he ordered the
workers to build big houses and docking stations for ships. Over the
months, the island turned into a beautiful place.
The young king would wear simple clothes and spend very little from
his earnings as a king. He sent all the earnings to the island for
storage. When nine months passed like this, the king called the
ministers and told them:
"I know that I have to go the island after one year, but I would like
to go there right now." But the ministers didn't agree to this and
said that he has to wait for another 3 months to complete the year.
3 months passed and now it was a full year. The people dressed up the
young king and put him on an elephant to take him around the country
to say goodbye to others. However, this king is unusually happy to
leave the kingdom.
People asked him, "All the other kings would cry at this moment and
why are you laughing?"
He replied, "Don't you know what the wise people say? They say that
when you came to this world as a baby, you were crying and everyone
was smiling. Live such a life that when you are die, you will be
smiling and everyone around you will be crying. I have lived that
life. While all the other kings were lost into the luxuries of the
kingdom, I always thought about the future and planned for it. I
turned the deadly island into a beautiful abode for me where I can
stay peacefully."
The moral lesson from this story is about how we should live our life.
The life of this world is to prepare for the life hereafter. In this
life, we shouldn't get lost into the deceiving and attractive things
of this world and forget about what is to come in the afterlife.
Rather, even if we are kings, we should live a simple life like our
beloved Holy Prophet Muhammad (saww) and save all our enjoyments for
the hereafter. May Allah make it easy for us all. Amin.
Noble Qur'anSays: Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah
(alone). It is He Who sends down rain, and He Who knows what is in the
wombs. Nor does any one know what it is that he will earn on the
morrow: Nor does any one know in what land he is to die. Verily with
Allah is full knowledge and He is acquainted (with all things).
(31:34)
Noble Qur'an urges us to prepare for tomorrow: O ye who believe! Fear
Allah, and let every soul look to what (provision) He has sent forth
for the morrow. Yea, fear Allah: for Allah is well-acquainted with
(all) that ye do. (59:18)

For children, - Hereafter in Islam (Dream Interpretation): Real Life Story(Preparing for the Hereafter)

Once a man saw in his dream, that a lion was chasing him.
The man ran to a tree, climbed on to it and sat on a branch. He looked
down and saw that the lion was still there waiting for him.
The man then looked to his side where the branch he was sitting on was
attached to the tree and saw that two rats were circling around and
eating the branch. One rat was black and the other one was white. The
branch would fall on the ground very soon.
The man then looked below again with fear and discovered that a big
black snake had come and settled directly under him. The snake opened
its mouth right under the man so that he will fall into it.
The man then looked up to see if there was anything that he could hold
on to. He saw another branch with a honeycomb. Drops of honey were
falling from it.
The man wanted to taste one of the drops. So, he put his tongue out
and tasted one of the fallen drops of honey. The honey was amazing in
taste. So, he wanted to taste another drop. As he did, he got lost
into the sweetness of the honey.
Meanwhile, he forgot about the two rats eating his branch away, the
lion on the ground and the snake that is sitting right under him.
After a while, he woke up from his sleep.
To get the meaning behind this dream, the man went to a pious scholar
of Islam. The Islamic scholar who interpret the dream said, the lion
you saw is your death. It always chases you and goes wherever you go.
The two rats, one black and one white, are the night and the day.
Black one is the night and the white one is the day. They circle
around, coming one after another, to eat your time as they take you
closer to death.
The big black snake with a dark mouth is your grave. It's there, just
waiting for you to fall into it.
The honeycomb is this world and the sweet honey is the luxuries of
this world. We like to taste a drop of the luxuries of this world but
it's very sweet. Then we taste another drop and yet another.
Meanwhile, we get lost into it and we forget about our time, we forget
about our death and we forget about our graves.
This Life is Material, and the Hereafter is Far Better and everlasting:
According to Islam, this life is very short and full of material
things that can get in the way of our submission to Almighty Allah
(SWT). It's not wrong to have these material possessions as long as we
remember our obligations to Almighty Allah (SWT) and thank Him for
those things. We shouldn't get preoccupied with this temporary worldly
life and forget Hereafter.
It is narrated that Holy Prophet Muhammad (saww)has said: "Most
intellectual of man is he remembers the death most."
It is also narrated that Holy Prophet Muhammad (saww) has said: "One
who gains the love and grace of Allah (SWT), always end (Ajal) will be
before his eyes and he will be always worried about his death. But the
one who take Satan (Shaitan) as a friend and becomes Bad-Bakht.
Shaitan overpowers him and indulge (Giraftaar) him in long long
desires and them he never remember death."
The famous poet Longfellow calls human footprints sublime on the
'sands of time' while writer Margaret Mitchell declares generations
will be 'gone with the wind'. The Ancient Greeks believed that the
human race was like a bird, that came from a dark passage and flew
away in another dark tunnel, with a momentary stay in a bright room,
which they believed was our world.

Sex in Islam, - Islamic Ruling on Anal Sex

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be
upon His Messenger.
Almighty Allah says in the Qur'an:"Your wives are a tilth for you, so
go to your tilth, when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask
Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your ownselves
beforehand. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the
Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers."(Al-Baqarah: 223)
In the foregoing verse the wordHarth(tilth) indicates that only
vaginal sex is permissible in Islam, because it is from this place
children are produced. The semen lodged in the womb from which
offsprings come is likened to the seeds that are planted in the
ground, bringing vegetation. Both of them are substances from which
something else is produced.
All Muslim jurists agree that anal sex is Haram, based on the Hadith
of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him:"Do not have anal sex
with women."(Reported by Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi, An-Nasaa'i, and Ibn
Majah.)
Khuzaymah Ibn Thaabit, may Allah be pleased with him, also reports
that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him,
said:"Allah is not too shy to tell you the truth: Do not have sex with
your wives in the anus."(Reported by Ahmad, 5/213.)
Ibn `Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrates: "The Messenger
of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:"Allah will not look
at a man who has anal sex with his wife."(Reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah,
3/529, and At-Tirmidhi classified it as an authentic Hadith, 1165.)
Further, it is reported that the Prophet, peace and blessing be upon
him, referred to such an act as"minor sodomy."(Reported by Ahmad and
An-Nasaa'i.)
However, it is allowed to caress the wife and stimulate her around the
anus, without having sex in this area. It is reported that `Umar Ibn
Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, came one day to the
Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I am ruined!""What has ruined
you?"asked the Prophet. He replied, "Last night I turned my wife
over," meaning that he had had vaginal intercourse with her from the
back. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, did not say
anything to him until the verse cited above was revealed. Then he told
him,"From the front or the back, but avoid the anus and intercourse
during menstruation."(Reported by Ahmad and At-Tirmidhi.)
If one does have anal sex with his wife, he has committed a grave sin,
which requires repentance. He should regret and feel contrite for
committing such a sin. Allah Almighty destroyed a whole nation who
were accustomed to this evil habit.
But the wife is not considered divorcedas many people think, because
there is no evidence to support this view. However, scholars maintain
that if a man habitually does this or insists on having anal sex with
his wife, she has the right to ask for a divorce, because he is
considered an evildoer who is causing harm by his action, and also
because the purpose of marriage cannot be achieved through this
action.
The wife has to resist this evil action and refuse to respond to her
husband's desire to have anal sex. She should remind him of Allah as
well as the punishment of those who transgresses the Bounds set by
Allah.
Allah Almighty knows best.