Women site, - The Virtue of Nurturing Girls - I

This article in its two parts, Allaah willing, will be about a
righteous good deed, and whoever performs it perfectly, according to
its required conditions, will attain three things:
First: he will be veiled from Hell and never enter it.
Second: on the Day of the Greatest Terror, )i.e. the Day of Judgment(,
he will be gathered in the company of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi
wa sallam.
Third: Paradise will be guaranteed for him, where he will be in the
company of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.
What an excellent and great reward this is! This great reward, O
believers, requires that certain conditions be fulfilled perfectly.
What is this deed and what are its conditions?
I say, seeking the help of Allaah The Exalted, that it is to take care
of girls, being in charge of them and looking after their affairs and
interests. That is the position of our religion with the woman whom it
honors, maintains, and guards; it encourages men to enter Paradise and
receive great rewards should they take care of her and guard her.
How great the favors of Allaah The Almighty are on the daughters of
Eve and how sad that some people show ingratitude and deny them!
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said in an authentic
Hadeeth on the authority of the Mother of the Believers 'Aa'ishah, may
Allaah be pleased with her:"Whichever )people( are tried by any of
them )girls(, and he treats them kindly, they will screen him from the
fire )of Hell(."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
He further said:"Whoever has three girls and is patient with them and
clothes them from what he has, they will veil him from the fire )of
Hell(."
That is the first reward that you, O slave of Allaah, would receive
for that work, which is to be screened and veiled from the fire of
Hell, and whoever is drawn away from the fire and admitted to Paradise
has indeed attained his desire.
May Allaah make us all among those who attain that reward!
Concerning the second reward, which is to be gathered in the company
of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, it was narrated on the
authority of Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, that he said, "The
Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:'Whoever
looks after two girls until they attain the age of maturity, would
come on the Day of Judgment with me and him being )as close to each
other( as these )and he joined his fingers(.'"]Muslim[
As for the third reward, then consider the following texts:
It was narrated on the authority of Jaabir, may Allaah be pleased with
him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"'Whoever
has three daughters whom he gives refuge to, provides for and shows
mercy to, Paradise is certainly guaranteed for him."A man asked, "And
)for( two, O Messenger of Allaah?" He replied:"And also )for the one
who has( two )daughters(."]Ahmad[ ]Al-Bukhaari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad[
It was narrated on the authority of Abu Sa'eed, may Allaah be pleased
with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"No
one has three or two daughters or sisters, and he fears Allaah
regarding them and is kind to them, except that he will enter
Paradise."
It was narrated on the authority of Anas, may Allaah be pleased with
him, that he said, "The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, said:'Whoever has two daughters or sisters to whom he is kind
as long as they are with him, he and I will be in Paradise )as close
to each other( as these )and then he put two of his fingers
together(.'"
What a great reward this is! And, what an excellent position this is!
However, such great rewards have heavy qualifications and various
objectives that must be realized by great striving and patience.
What are these conditions and restrictions?
All the conditions are included in his )the Prophet's, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam,( saying:"And he is kind to them."
To be kind to girls in such a way as to befit the Sharee'ah is the
all-inclusive condition and the greatest qualification. The narrations
previously mentioned came to explicate and clarify in detail this
general reference. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"…Whom he gives refuge to, provides for and shows mercy to."
Al-Haafith, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, "All these terms are
included under the term "Ihsaan" )to be kind(."
What is the meaning of giving refuge to them? What is intended by
providing for them? And, how should we show mercy to them?
Giving refuge has three facets:
First: Giving her refuge with a good righteous mother, to be an
example for her to follow. The first stage of giving refuge to girls
is to keep them with a righteous pious chaste mother to maintain and
guard them. Have you not heard the advice of the Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam:"Then, succeed )by choosing( the religious woman
lest you would lose )good("?
Second: Giving her refuge in her boudoir, inside her house, which is
to teach her to abide in her house and not to come out unless there is
a necessity, an urgent need or an act of worship. In other words:"To
attend the goodness and supplications of Muslims."
That is the significance of the statement of Allaah The Almighty
)which means(:}And abide in your houses.{]Quran 33:33[
Allaah The Almighty commands women to abide in their houses, for it is
more suitable to screen them and guard their lives.
)To be continued(

Women site, - The Virtue of Nurturing Girls - II

Consider, may Allaah have mercy upon you, how Allaah The Almighty
mentions houses in relation to women in three occasions in His Book,
despite the fact that these houses )in most cases( belong to their
guardians. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
•}And remember what is recited in your houses of the verses of Allaah
and wisdom.{]Quran 33:34[
•}And abide in your houses.{]Quran 33:33[
•}Do not turn them out of their ]husbands'[ houses.{]Quran 65:1[
So, be eager to bring up your daughters to abide in the home, and
adhere to firmness for it is more beneficial for their religion and
more likely to bring you honor in this world and the Hereafter.
Third: Giving her shelter in a house full of Thikr )mentioning and
remembering Allaah(, worship and righteous deeds. It is true that some
women do not come out of their houses, but their houses, at the same
time, are inhabited by the human devils and the jinn, where women do
not veil themselves from the men who are not their Mahrams
)unmarriageable relatives(, and their sons and those of the paternal
and maternal uncles and aunts go and come and enter everywhere they
like with neither a cover nor a veil.
The same is true of the driver and the servant, as if they have foster
relations with them, for they enter upon the women of the house with
no veil. Such a house is not fit to be a refuge, for it is a house in
which honor is violated.
Also, some women do not come out of their houses, but their houses are
filled with corruption-causing devices and channels of singing and
adultery. The girl there thus learns, listens to and sees what is
unlawful, is tempted away from her religion and strays and gets
corrupted more than if she goes to markets.
Is this a refuge, O slaves of Allaah?
The real refuge lies in a screening shelter that guards and maintains
your honor:"Whoever has three daughters whom he gives refuge, provides
for and shows mercy to, Paradise is inevitably guaranteed for him."
That was the refuge; now what is intended by providing for them?
This is explained in the narration of Muslim:"Whoever looks after two
girls until they attain the age of maturity."An-Nawawi, may Allaah
have mercy upon him, said, "It means to raise them and provide them
with sustenance." It is further explained in his )the Prophet's
saying:"And dresses them from what he has."
Yes, O slaves of Allaah! To provide the woman with what she
necessarily needs of food, clothing and sustenance is among the
obligatory duties and one of the greatest acts that bring men closer
to Allaah.
Men should provide women with these things so that they would not need
to come out of the house to work and earn their living. They should
provide them with these necessities so that they would not think about
committing a sin or deviation.
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"To provide for
them,"and did not say to make them transgress by giving them what is
beyond their needs as many fathers, may Allaah guide them, do with
their daughters. They give their daughters all that they ask for, and
whenever one's daughter has a desire for a certain thing, they hasten
to buy it for her to fulfill her desire, and whenever they request
anything, they hurry with full power in response to her command.
This kind of indulgence destroys the girl and would shorten her
marital life. Once such a girl moves to the house of her husband and
is no longer pampered, she rebels against her husband because she
misses what she was brought up on.
On the other extreme are other men who fall short of fulfilling the
necessities of their women, shouting at them things like, "Why do you
not come out and work like so-and-so who obtains her needs and what is
sufficient for her?" Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And ]they
are[ those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly
but are ever, between that, ]justly[ moderate.{]Quran 25:67[
The third qualification and condition included under being kind )to
girls( lie in his statement:"And shows mercy to them."What is the real
nature of mercy? What is intended by it?
The first thing that occurs to the mind is its apparent and general
meaning; to show mercy to them is to sympathize and show pity for
them, not to beat them, and everything else included in the meaning of
mercy, which are, no doubt, true. However, the real mercy one should
show girls lies in two things:
First: to show mercy to them by earnestly seeking and seriously
working to keep them away from the Wretched Settlement that is the
Fire. That is to bring them up on the rituals of Islam, the
establishment of prayers, adherence to Hijaab and the maintenance of
their chastity:}O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your
families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.{]Quran 66:6[
The man who shows sympathy towards his daughters, pampers them and is
spiritually and materially kind to them, and, at the same time does
not command them to perform prayers, to observe fast or to adhere to
Hijaab, is in fact a tyrant and plain enemy of them, for he is not
sincere in advising them, and he does not help them and keep them away
from the Fire of Hell.
That is the real mercy, O company of believers. The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"My parable in relation to that of
my Ummah )nation( is like a man who kindled a fire and when it lit all
around him, moths and insects started falling into the fire. I am
there to catch hold of you )in order to save you( from the fire. But
you plunge into it and overpower my efforts."
This is only one of many forms with which Allaah The Almighty honored
the woman and raised her esteem. Which honor and high esteem are
better than exhorting men to enter Paradise and be gathered in the
company of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and kept away
from the Fire of Hell, if they are kind to the girls in their care,
look after their affairs and take care of them perfectly?
So, fear Allaah, O slave-girl of Allaah, and be proud of that honor,
and remember that the final statement of the Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, before he left this world was:"And I advise you to
be kind and good to women."
Thus, he commanded and advised us to be good and kind to you, O woman.
So, be a good helper to your guardians to achieve that great task, and
bear in mind that your honor and glory lie in your adherence to your
religion. And, O men, be good and kind to your girls – your daughters
and sisters, and be aware of the fact that this great reward you have
been told about is qualified by these heavy qualifications, which are
easy for the person on whom Allaah The Almighty makes it easy, and
within the capacity of him who strives his utmost and is eager to do
them.
And Allaah is the guardian of success.

Women site, - Is it Difficult to Abide by Islamic teachings?

This is a very important and pressing question.
What is this mysterious illusion that prevents many Muslim women from
abiding by the teachings of Islam and repenting of all apparent and
hidden sins and fully adhering to the Sunnah )tradition( of the
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam?
Dear sister, let us talk about this issue generally. What prevents
many people from repenting and following the path of the believers?
Those people find repentance burdensome and think that abiding by the
teachings of Islam is something difficult. All this is caused by the
devil and the soul that is a persistent enjoiner of evil.
When you advise some people to repent, they say that this is extremely
difficult for them. A smoker, for instance, says, "I have been smoking
for twenty years. I intend to repent and give up smoking, but how can
I do this after this poison has penetrated into my body to the extent
that I cannot give it up?" Another man says, "I have been gazing at
women since the first time I opened my eyes and started to see. How I
can repent?" A third man may say, "How can I give up lying and tale
bearing?" A fourth one might say, "All through my life, I have been
giving people an imaginary image of myself and I cannot destroy this
image now?"
In fact, those people know deep inside their hearts that they are
mistaken, but they object and say daringly, "Observant people have
made everything prohibited; cigarettes, intoxicants, music, and
recreational drugs… all these things are prohibited…what is left for
us?"
How can one have a dialogue with such people? How can you tell them
that the prohibited matters are few and they are prohibited by
Sharee'ah )Islamic legislation(, not by the observant people, while
the lawful matters cannot be counted.
Actually, we disregard the fact that we should live for Allaah The
Almighty and according to His rules.
Abiding by the teachings of Islam should not be something difficult
for us. For instance, we should not abstain from praying Fajr )Dawn
prayer( because we are used to sleeping until noon. Is it not a loss
that some people stay up all night and sleep all day? Allaah The
Almighty Says )what means(:
„X}And We made the night as clothing. And made the day for
livelihood{]Quran 78:10-11[
„X}What deity other than Allaah could bring you a night in which you
may rest? Then will you not see?"{]Quran 28:72[
Night is for rest and you have changed this rest to noise and music
and stayed up all night, so sleeping all day would not be sufficient
for you. Try to accustom yourself to sleeping early and waking up
early. The Mother of the Believers, 'Aa'ishah, may Allaah be pleased
with her, said, "I wonder how those who miss the Fajr Prayer get their
sustenance…?" This is because sustenance is distributed after Fajr
Prayer. You sleep and do not pray, but Allaah The Almighty grants you
your sustenance…Are not you ashamed of yourself? You disobey Allaah
The Almighty and He gives you a respite.
The question is:
How can we get rid of the feeling that it is difficult to repent and
abide by the teachings of Islam?
The answer is that you have to do the following:
• Avoid procrastination:
You should repent immediately and without hesitation. To repent, you
should not think before doing so and submit to Allaah The Almighty.
Some people, when you say to them, "Let's pray 'Asr )post-noon
prayer(!", they would say, "We will pray Istikhaarah )the prayer for
guidance( first." Why should they pray Istikhaarah?
You should repent now and without procrastination as repentance is an
obligation.
Are you still thinking whether or not you should repent?
If you are doing so, you would be like the one who seeks the people's
opinion regarding the Legislation of Allaah The Almighty, in order to
see whether it is true or not.
These are the ordinances of Allaah The Almighty and He has shown you
the two ways, either to obey or disobey Him. What would you do?
You should know that the first solution for getting rid of the feeling
that repentance and abidance by the Islamic teachings are difficult is
to rid yourself of procrastination immediately and to correct your
intention.
• Be truthful with Allaah The Almighty
If you are truthful with Allaah The Almighty, He will compensate you
with what is better than what you have abandoned. For example, the
woman who abandons intermixing with men for the sake of Allaah the
Almighty, will be granted sustenance from where she does not expect.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
„X}And I did not create the Jinn and mankind except to worship Me. I
do not want from them any provision, nor do I want them to feed Me.
Indeed, it is Allaah who is the ]continual[ Provider, the firm
Possessor of strength.{]Quran 51:56-58[
„X}And in the heaven is your provision and whatever you are promised.
Then by the Lord of the heaven and earth, indeed, it is truth -- just
as ]sure as[ it is that you are speaking.{]Quran 51: 22-23[
„X}And there is no creature on earth but that upon Allaah is its
provision, and He knows its place of dwelling and place of storage.
All is in a clear register.{]Quran 11:6[
„X}And determined therein its ]creatures'[ sustenance{]Quran 41:10[
Are you afraid that Allaah The Almighty might leave you hungry?
Are you afraid that Allaah The Almighty might not grant you a husband?
Are you afraid that Allaah The Almighty might leave you insecure?
You should be truthful with Allaah The Almighty first of all. Be
truthful with Allaah The Almighty so that He fulfills your wishes.
Repent to Allaah The Almighty sincerely so that He drives all your
worries away. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And whoever fears
Allaah - He will make for him a way out.{]Quran 65: 2-3[
You should know that what Allaah The Almighty has cannot be obtained
except by obeying Him.
• Renouncing reliance on any power or strength )save those of Allaah
The Almighty(:
You should renounce reliance on any power or strength, seek the help
of Allaah The Almighty alone and have good expectations of Him. In
fact, anything that is difficult becomes easy by His Power. Thus, when
one seeks the help of Allaah, He would help him. People's hearts are
between two fingers of Allaah . He can change the hearts of people as
He likes. Allaah The Almighty can change your heart seemingly
overnight to the extent that you might hate all sins suddenly.
Renouncing reliance on any power or strength means leaving aside your
power and strength, your determination and drive, and seeking the help
of The King, The Omnipotent and The Subjugator.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Said the eminent ones who were
arrogant among his people, "We will surely evict you, O Shu'ayb, and
those who have believed with you from our city, or you must return to
our religion." He said, "Even if we were unwilling?" We would have
invented against Allaah a lie if we returned to your religion after
Allaah had saved us from it. And it is not for us to return to it
except that Allaah, our Lord, should will. Our Lord has encompassed
all things in knowledge. Upon Allaah we have relied. Our Lord, decide
between us and our people in truth, and You are the best of those who
give decision."{]Quran 7:88-89[ Shu'ayb, may Allaah exalt his mention,
relied solely on Allaah The Almighty.
"Do whatever you want", Nooh )Noah(, may Allaah exalt his mention,
said in the Quran in the verse )what means(:}So resolve upon your plan
and ]call upon[ your associates. Then let not your plan be obscure to
you. Then carry it out upon me and do not give me respite.{]Quran
10:71[
Hood, may Allaah exalt his mention, said similar words in the verses
)what mean(:}So plot against me all together; then do not give me
respite. Indeed, I have relied upon Allaah, my Lord and your
Lord.{]Quran 11:55-56[
As we said previously, our forelocks and the forelocks of our enemies
are in the hands of Allaah The Almighty who does whatever He wants.
Thus, you should deny your power and strength and feel that Allaah The
Almighty is with you with His knowledge, power and strength as He Says
)what means(:
„X}He is with you wherever you are.{]Quran 57:4[
„X}And when My servants ask you, ]O Muhammad[, concerning Me - indeed
I am near.{]Quran 2:186[
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Be mindful of Allaah
and He will preserve you, and if you are mindful of Allaah you will
find Him by your side."]At-Tirmithi: Hasan Saheeh[
In order to feel that Allaah The Almighty is with you, try to
contemplate and compare the following verses. Allaah The Almighty Says
)what means(:
„X}Have you seen if he is upon guidance. Or enjoins righteousness?
Have you seen if he denies and turns away -- does he not know that
Allaah sees?{]Quran 96:11-14[
„X}They said, "Our Lord, indeed we are afraid that he will hasten
]punishment[ against us or that he will transgress." ]Allaah[ Said,
"Fear not. Indeed, I Am with you both; I hear and I see."{]Quran
20:45-46[
When comparing the two verses, we realize that}Does he not know that
Allaah sees?{was mentioned as a threat for those who are disobedient.
This verse means that Allaah The Almighty will punish you if you do
not repent.
In the second group of verses, Allaah The Almighty Says )what
means(:}"Fear not. Indeed, I am with you both; I hear and I see."{This
indicates the help of Allaah, His guidance and blessing.
O Muslims, adhere to the teachings of Islam and do not say that it is
difficult to do so.
If you feel that repentance and adhering to the Sunnah of the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, are burdensome, drive procrastination
away, be truthful with Allaah The Almighty and rely on Him and you
will find that easy and find it difficult to follow your own desires.

Women site, - How Advisable is Marriage Between Relatives?

Marriage is a means of establishing new relationships, and expanding
the sphere of connections within the community. However, marriage
between relatives does not contribute to establishing new
relationships as is the case in marriage to non-relatives. So, it is
better for a Muslim woman to marry a non-relative if there is a
potential husband who possesses the specifications that pleases her
and her guardians.
In many cases, to marry a non-relative is necessary if there are no
relatives available, who have the characteristics of the Muslim
husband that are stipulated by Islam, with respect to piety, a good
reputation, and a healthy body, soul and mind; or if there is such a
man but the woman or her guardians did not accept him. Getting married
to non-relatives provides the woman with a wider field of establishing
connections, as a result of exposure to an environment and community
other than the one she was brought up with.
Moreover, marriage between relatives might lead to weak offspring due
to the accumulation of negative hereditary characteristics. It may be
this factor which prompted 'Umar bin Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be
pleased with him, to advise the Muslims saying, "Marry from
non-relatives lest your )offspring( would be weak."
Of course, this does not mean that marriage to relatives is prohibited
or unfavorable, if the suitable conditions are met. Rather, this draws
our attention to the danger of preventing marriage to non-relatives,
as is prevalent in certain Muslim communities.