A time for strengthening the family..

The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said:"No one who severs the
ties of kinship will enter Paradise."]At-Tirmithi[
The religion of Islam places great importance on maintaining the ties
of kinship between family members. All Muslims are to show kindness,
generosity, and respect toward both their nearest and most distant
relatives, whether they are Muslims or not. Allah Almighty places such
importance on maintaining the ties of kinship that whoever cuts off
the ties of their family, Allah Almighty cuts them off from Him. And
the Quran goes as far to say that the one who cuts off the ties of
kinship will be cursed.
Allah Almighty says in the Noble Quran )what means(:"But those who
break the covenant of Allah after contracting it and sever that which
Allah has ordered to be joined and spread corruption on earth – for
them is the curse, and they will have the worst home."]Quran 13:25[
These days are an excellent time to mend burnt bridges and reach out
to family members that you may have not seen in a long time or that
you are at odds with.
These blessed days serve to open our hearts and minds as we humble
ourselves before our Creator in sincere worship. Take the first step
in reconnecting with your kin for the sake of Allah Almighty and to
strengthen your family unit.
Take the First Step
Regardless of how much time has passed since you have seen a family
member or whatever transgression has made you keep your distance, use
this time to reach out to a relative that you have been estranged
from.
It's as easy as picking up the phone and inviting him or her to your
home for a meal or meeting in a neutral place, such as a cafe, for a
cup of coffee. The worst that can happen is that they turn you down or
hang up the phone on you. At least Allah Almighty will know that you
tried to fulfill your obligation of maintaining family ties.
But the best that can happen is that your desires for renewing the
relationship will be reciprocated.
Forgiveness is Key
There is no need to rehash the past once your estranged family member
is in your presence. Forgiveness is the key to reestablishing your
bond. So let bygones be bygones, even if in the innermost recesses of
your heart you still feel that your kinsman wronged you.
A perfect exemplar can be found in Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with
him. Word came to him that his very own cousin, whom he had been
giving much financial support, had publicly slandered his beloved
daughter 'Aa'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her. Abu Bakr, may Allah
be pleased with him, immediately stopped giving him charity. Allah
Almighty then revealed the celebrated verse )which means(:
"And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give
]aid[ to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause
of Allah, and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that
Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful." ]Quran
24:22[
No sooner did Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, hear this than
he resumed his cousin's financial assistance, and, indeed, increased
it over what he used to regularly give him.
United We Stand
A family that stands together is far stronger than one splintered into
factions. So even if you are not at odds with one of your kin, you
might know of family members who are not preserving their ties of
kinship. You can do your part as a Muslim by acting as a mediator to
reunite them under the same flag of Islam.
It might be difficult at first, especially since human emotions like
pride and anger get in the way. But remind your family members that it
is really Satan stoking the flames of discontent and that they must
make peace against all odds to maintain the family bond. Should you
find the situation too volatile to handle on your own, con-tact your
local imam or someone in your community known to offer good help in
counseling to assist you in your endeavor.
Watch the Garden Grow
A family that is content with its members is like a garden that bears
the most beautiful fruit and flowers that the human eye has ever
beheld. As the discontent and anger melts away between kin, you will
start to see the flowers in your family's garden blossom to reveal the
beauty that Allah Almighty intended.
To keep that garden flourishing, weed out problems before they take
root and nip familial discord in the bud. Most importantly, water your
garden with lots of blessings from Allah, the All-Powerful, to keep
your family together.
Trust in Allah Almighty and supplicate Him for assistance to keep your
family thriving for many years to come.

Dought & clear, - - Saheeh (sound) hadeeths, - Are there any saheeh ahaadeeth which speak of the ransoming of the living and the deadduring Ramadaan?.

I heard from someone that Allaah ransoms just one of the dead Muslims
every night, and that He does not ransom any of the living except on
the last night of Ramadaan, when He ransoms the same number as the
number of dead whom He ransomed during the month. Is this true?.
Praise be to Allaah.
After researching the matter, we did not find any ahaadeeth which say
such a thing.
There are ahaadeeth which say that Allaah ransoms people from the Fire
during Ramadaan, and that happens every night.
Some of these ahaadeeth are saheeh (sound), some are da'eef (weak),
and some are mawdoo' (fabricated).
Among the saheeh ahaadeeth which speak of that are the following:
1 – It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: The Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "When the first night of Ramadaan comes, the devils and
mischievous jinn are chained up, and the gates of Hell are closed, and
none of its gates are opened. The gates of Paradise are opened and
none of its gates are closed. And a caller cries out: 'O seeker of
good, proceed; O seeker of evil, desist.' And Allaah has people whom
He frees (from the Fire), and that happens every day."
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 682; Ibn Maajah, 1642; classed as hasan by
Shaykh al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami', 759.
2 – It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "At every breaking of the fast Allaah has people whom He redeems
from the Fire, and that happens every night."
Narrated by Ahmad, 21698; Ibn Maajah, 1643; classed as saheeh by
Shaykh al-Albaani inSaheeh Ibn Maajah.
The da'eef (weak) and mawdoo' (fabricated) ahaadeeth that have been
narrated on this topic include the following:
1 – The report narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with
him), according to which the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "When the first night of Ramadaan comes,
Allaah looks at His creation, and if Allaah looks at a person He will
never punish him. And every day Allaah has one thousand thousand whom
He ransoms from the Fire. On the twenty-ninth night Allaah ransoms a
number equivalent to the number whom He has already ransomed during
the entire month."
This is a mawdoo' hadeeth. SeeDa'eef al-Targheeb, 591 andal-Silsilah
al-Da'eefah, 5468.
2 – It was narrated from Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him)
that he heard the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) say: "Paradise is scented with incense and adorned
throughout the year, in preparation for the beginning of the month of
Ramadaan. On the first night of the month of Ramadaan, a wind called
al-matheerah comes from beneath the Throne… And on each day of the
month of Ramadaan at the time of breaking the fast, Allaah has one
thousand thousand whom He ransoms from the Fire, all of whom deserved
to go to Hell. And on the last day of the month of Ramadaan, Allaah
ransoms on that day a number equivalent to all those whom He ransomed
from the beginning of the month to the end.
This is a mawdoo' hadeeth. SeeDa'eef al-Targheeb, 594.
3 – It was narrated that al-Hasan said: The Messenger of Allaah(peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Every night of Ramadaan
Allaah has six hundred thousand whom He ransoms from the Fire. And on
the last night Allaah ransoms a number equivalent to those whom He has
already ransomed."
This is a da'eef hadeeth. SeeDa'eef al-Targheeb, 598.

Dought & clear, - - Saheeh (sound) hadeeths, - Ahaadeeth of the Prophet (peace andblessings of Allaah be upon him) which criticize extravagance with regard to food.

How authentic are the two following ahadeeth:
Narrated by A'esha, may Allah be pleased with her, that she said: "the
first calamity for this nation after the prophet's death is fullness
of their stomachs; when their stomachs became full, they became obese
and their hearts weakened and their desires became wild" Bukhari.
The prophet advised us not to eat everything we desire to eat.
Narrated by Anas ben Malik, may Allah be pleased with him that the
prophet said: "it is extravagance that one eats whatever he desire"
Ibn majah.
Is there anything that forbids one to eat a lot, or not to be able to
control how much he eats? Any hadeeth, verse, or a book about
prohibiting extravagance in foods, or about the prophet's way
regarding foods and eating.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Gluttony is one of the greatest sins that lead to doom and it causes
many diseases and sicknesses, both spiritual and physical, because it
leads to sexual desire, then the desire for status and wealth in order
to fulfil the first two desires. Then that generates spiritual
diseases such as showing off, destructive envy (hasad), boastfulness
and arrogance because of being focused on worldly matters. In most
cases that leads to evil and immorality, all of it because of this
desire. The Arabs of old said: The stomach is the home of disease and
restraint is the basis of the remedy.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He
(Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance)"
[al-A'raaf 7:31]
The Sunnah encourages moderation in eating, and strongly criticizes
extravagance.
The Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: The son
of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach. It is
sufficient for the son of Adam to eat a few mouthfuls, to keep him
going. If he must do that (fill his stomach), then let him fill one
third with food, one third with drink and one third with air."
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2380); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
inal-Silsilah al-Saheehah(2265).
It was narrated that Naafi' said: Ibn 'Umar used not to eat until a
poor man was brought to eat with him. I brought a man in to eat with
him and he ate a great deal. He said: O Naafi', do not let this man
enter upon me, for I heard the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) say: "The kaafir eats in seven intestines."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5393) and Muslim (2060).
Al-Nawawi said, commenting on this hadeeth (14/25):
The scholars said: What the hadeeth means is to be content wit little
in this world and encouraging asceticism and contentment, in addition
to the fact that eating little is a good characteristic, and eating a
great deal is the opposite. As for the words of Ibn 'Umar concerning
the poor man who ate a great deal in his presence, "Do not let him
enter upon me," he only said that because he was behaving like a
kaafir, and if a person is behaves like a kaafir it is makrooh to mix
with him unnecessarily; moreover, the amount that this man ate could
had fed a number of people. End quote.
We have quoted other ahaadeeth on this topic elsewhere on our site;
please see question no. 71173.
Secondly:
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) has summed up for us the
teaching of the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
with regard to food and drink, which he derived from the saheeh
ahaadeeth. He says inZaad al-Ma'aad(1/147):
Similarly the practice of the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) was not to reject what was available, and not to go out of
his way to seek that which was not available. No good food was brought
to him but he ate it, unless he had no appetite for it, in which case
he left it but did not forbid it. He never criticized any food. If he
wanted it he ate it, otherwise he would leave it, as he refrained from
eating lizard meat because he was not used to it, but he did not
forbid it to the ummah. He ate sweets and honey, which he liked. He
ate camel meat, mutton, chicken, bustard, onager, rabbit and seafood.
He ate grilled meat and both fresh and dry dates. ... He did not refuse
good food, and he did not go out of his way to seek it, rather he
would eat what was available, but if it was not available he would be
patient, and he would tie a stone to his stomach because of hunger.
Three new moons in a row would be sighted, and no cooking fire would
be lit in his house. End quote.
Thirdly:
The scholars have mentioned the benefits of moderation in food and not
being extravagant. These include:
1 - Purity of heart, mental alertness and deep insight. Satiety
generates stupidity and blinds the heart. Hence the proverb says "The
one whose stomach is hungry will become able to think deeply and his
intelligence will honed."
2 - Humility and the loss of pride, joy and insolence, which are the
foundation of tyranny and neglect of Allaah.
3 - One does not forget the wrath and punishment of Allaah, or the
people who are afflicted by calamity. For the one who has his fill
forgets the one who is hungry and he forgets hunger, but the one who
is smart does not see someone else afflicted by a calamity but he is
reminded of calamity in the Hereafter.
4 - One of the greatest benefits is that it puts an end to all sinful
desires, and brings control over the self that is inclined towards
evil, because the source of all sins is desires and energy, and the
fuel for energy and desires is food. Dhu'l-Noon said: I never ate my
fill but I sinned or thought of sinning.
5 - Warding off sleep and being able to stay up. For the one who eats
a lot will drink a lot, and the one who drinks a lot will sleep a lot.
Sleeping a lot wastes one's time and causes one to miss out on
tahajjud; it makes one slow and hardens the heart. Time is the most
precious gift and it is the person's capital, but sleep is death and
sleeping too much shortens one's life.
6 - Physical health and warding off disease, which is caused by eating
too much and mixing foods in the stomach. The doctors say that
gluttony is the cause of disease and restraint leads to a cure.
Summarized fromIhya' 'Uloom al-Deen(3/103-104).
Fourthly:
With regard to the ahaadeeth mentioned in the question, none of them are saheeh.
The first hadeeth:
'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The first calamity
for this ummah after the death of its Prophet(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) will be satiety, for when people's stomachs are
full, their bodies will grow fat, and their hearts will become
weakened and their desires will grow wild." Narrated by al-Bukhaari
inal-Du'afa'- as attributed to him by al-Dhahabi in Meezaan
al-I'tidaal (3/335). Also narrated by Ibn Abi'l-Dunya inal-Joo'(no.
22).
Narrated via Ghassaan ibn 'Ubayd al-Azdi al-Mawsili, who said: Hamzah
al-Basri told us, from Hishaam ibn 'Urwah, from his father, from
'Aa'ishah.
I say: This isnaad is da'eef jiddan (very weak) because of Ghassaan
ibn 'Ubayd, in whose biography inLisaan al-Mizaan(4/418) it says:
Ahmad ibn Hanbal said: We wrote from him, then he came to us here then
I burned what I wrote from him. Ibn 'Adiyy said: The weakness in his
hadeeth is obvious. According to a report from Yahya ibn Ma'een, it is
da'eef. ... Then he counted the hadeeth of 'Aa'ishah that we have as
being munkar. End quote.
Hence Shaykh al-Albaani said inDa'eef al-Targheeb(1239): It is munkar
mawqoof. End quote.
Note: In the question this hadeeth is attributed to al-Bukhaari, and
this is a serious mistake, because saying that a report "was narrated
by al-Bukhaari" usually means that it is from his Saheeh, but
al-Bukhaari wrote many other books, in which he narrated ahaadeeth
with their isnaads, but they are not necessarily saheeh, such as his
book al-Du'afa' al-Sagheer, which has been printed, andal-Du'afa'
al-Kabeer, which was mentioned by Ibn al-Nadeem and Brockelmann
inTareekh al-Adab(p. 65), and which still exists in the library of
Patna in India. If it so happened that al-Bukhaari narrated a hadeeth
in any of his books apart fromal-Saheeh, which is the greatest book
written by a scholar in Islam, then it should be stated when quoting
the hadeeth: "narrated by al-Bukhaari inal-Taareekh" or "inal-Du'afa'"
or "inal-Adab al-Mufrad" for example, then one should research the
isnaad of the hadeeth: is it saheeh or not, as is done in other books.
This hadeeth of 'Aa'ishah may be inal-Du'afa' al-Kabeer. We have
looked for it inal-Sagheerbut I could not find it. al-Du'afa'
al-Sagheerrarely mentions ahaadeeth and isnaads. And Allaah knows
best.
The second hadeeth: It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah
be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "It is extravagance to eat everything you
want." Narrated by Ibn Majaah (3352); Abu Ya'laa inal-Musnad(5/154);
Abu Nu'aym inal-Hilyah(10/213); al-Bayhaqi inShu'ab al-Eemaan(5/46)
and others, via Baqiyah ibn al-Waleed, Yoosuf ibn Abi Katheer told us,
from Nooh ibn Dhakwaan from al-Hasan from Anas in a marfoo' report
(i.e., attributed to the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him)).
This isnaad is da'eef jiddan (very weak) and has a number of faults, such as:
1 - Yoosuf ibn Abi Katheer, of whom Ibn Hajar said inTahdheeb
al-Tahdheeb(11/421): One of the Shaykhs of Baqiyah who are not known.
End quote.
2 - Nooh ibn Dhakwaan, whose hadeeth is munkar. It says in his
biography inTahdheeb al-Tahdheeb:
Ibn 'Adiyy said: His ahaadeeth are not sound. Ibn Hibbaan said: His
hadeeth is munkar jiddan and his hadeeth should not be narrated. Abu
Nu'aym said: he narrated problematic reports from al-Hasan, and he has
a document from al-Hasan from Anas. End quote.
Hence the hadeeth was classed as da'eef (weak) by more than one of the
scholars: Ibn Hibbaan inal-Majrooheen(3/47); Ibn 'Adiyy
inal-Kaamil(8/299); Ibn al-Jawzi inal-Mawdoo'aat(3/182); al-Busayri
inMisbaah al-Zujaajah(2/188); al-Sakhkhaawi inal-Maqaasid
al-Hasanah(515).Shaykh al-Albaani said inal-Silsilat al-Da'eefah(no.
241): It is mawdoo' (fabricated).
The saheeh ahaadeeth quoted above are sufficient and we have no need
of these two weak ahaadeeth. The one who wants to know more about this
topic may refer toal-Joo'by Ibn Abi'l-Dunya;Mukhtasar Minhaaj
al-Qaasideenby Ibn Qudaamah;Zaad al-Ma'aadby Ibn al-Qayyim andSharh
Riyaadh al-Saaliheenby Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen.
And Allaah knows best.

Dought & clear, - - Saheeh (sound) hadeeths, - Good deeds appear in the form of a man in the grave

How sound is this hadeeth?
"When a person dies, whilst his relatives are busy with his funeral
rites, a very handsome man stands at the head of the deceased and when
the body is shrouded, that man comes in between the shroud and chest
of the deceased, and after the burial, the people go back to their
homes and the two angels Munkar and Nakeer come to the grave and they
try to separate this handsome man from the deceased so that they will
be able to question the deceased about his faith. But the good-looking
man says: 'He is my friend, he is my friend, and I will never leave
him without intervening under any circumstances. If you are appointed
to question him, then do as you are commanded, but as for me, I can
never leave him until I admit him to Paradise.' Then the handsome man
turns to the deceased and says to him: 'I am the Qur'aan that you used
to recite in a loud voice sometimes and in a low voice sometimes. Do
not worry. After the questioning of Munkar and Nakeer, there will be
no sorrow after this day.' When the questioning ends, the handsome man
and the angels prepare a bed of silk filled with musk for the deceased
in Paradise.".
Praise be to Allaah.
What is narrated in the saheeh Sunnah about one's good deeds taking a
physical form and appearing in the form of a handsome man in the
grave, including the deed of reciting the Holy Qur'aan, is as follows:
1-
It was narrated from al-Bara' ibn 'Aazib (may Allaah be pleased with
him) that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"When the believing slave is about to depart this world and enter the
Hereafter, there come down to him from heaven angels with white faces
like the sun, and they sit around him as far as the eye can see. They
bring with them shrouds from Paradise and perfumes from Paradise…"
until he said, describing the state of the believer in the grave:
"Then a voice calls out from heaven, 'My slave has spoken the truth,
so prepare for him a bed from Paradise and clothe him from Paradise,
and open for him a gate to Paradise.' Then there comes to him some of
its fragrance, and his grave is made wide, as far as he can see.Then
there comes to him a man with a handsome face and handsome clothes,
and a good fragrance, who says, 'Receive the glad tidings that will
bring you joy this day.' He says, 'Who are you? Your face is a face
which brings glad tidings.' He says, 'I am your righteous deeds.'He
says, 'O Lord, hasten the Hour so that I may return to my family and
my wealth.'"
Narrated by Ahmad (4/362); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inAhkaam
al-Janaa'iz(156).
2-
It was narrated that Buraydah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I
heard the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:
"The Qur'aan will meet its companion on the Day of Resurrection when
his grave is opened for him, in the form of a pale man. It will say to
him, 'Do you recognize me?' He will say: 'I do not recognize you.' It
will say: 'I am your companion the Qur'aan, who kept you thirsty on
hot days and kept you awake at night. Every merchant benefits from his
business and today you will benefit from your good deeds.' He will be
given dominion in his right hand and eternity in his left, and there
will be placed on his head a crown of dignity, and his parents will be
clothed with priceless garments the like of which have never been seen
in this world. They will say: 'Why have we been clothed with this?' It
will be said: 'Because your son used to recite Qur'aan.' Then it will
be said to him: 'Recite and ascend in the degrees of Paradise,' and he
will continue to ascend so long as he recites, either at a fast pace
or a slow pace ."
Narrated by Ahmad inal-Musnad(394) and Ibn Maajah inal-Sunan(3781);
classed as hasan by al-Busayri inal-Zawaa'idand by al-Albaani
inal-Silsilah al-Saheehah(2829).
Al-Suyooti said in his commentary on the hadeeth (2/1242):
"In the form of a pale man". Al-Suyooti said: This is the one whose
colour has changed. It is as if he comes in this form so as to
resemble his companion in this world, or to draw attention to the fact
that just as his colour changed in this world because of staying up at
night to read Qur'aan, the Qur'aan will appear in a similar form
because of its striving on the Day of Resurrection until its companion
attains the ultimate goal in the Hereafter. End quote.
I have not found anything in the saheeh Sunnah to suggest that a man's
righteous deeds will appear in the form of a man in the grave except
in these two hadeeths.
As for the hadeeth which you quoted, it is not narrated in any of the
reliable books of Sunnah, and we have not found it with any isnaad,
saheeh (sound) or da'eef (weak). Rather it is something that appears
in some chat rooms or on some sites with no proof. Perhaps some
ignorant person wrote it himself then attributed it to the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), to encourage the
people to respect the Qur'aan and pay attention to it, but these
people do not know that telling lies about the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) is one of the worst of sins that doom
a person to the Fire of Hell, and the good intention does not remove
the burden of sin for those who tell lies and fabricate ahaadeeth as
if the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said them.
The Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Telling
lies about me is not like telling lies about anyone else. Whoever
tells a lie about me deliberately, let him take his place in Hell."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1291) and Muslim (4).
And Allaah knows best.